Authors: Tri Amutia,Jovy Lim
I smiled slightly.
After watching the newlyweds driving away from the church, Joshua drove us to the reception's venue. It was held in Melinda's house because she wanted the event to be simpler. I met with some of my high school friends too and they surprised to see me came with Joshua. They thought I was just another conquer for him. I grimaced mentally.
I was still not used to a crowded place and so many people made me dizzy. Joshua sensed my weariness and wrapped my waist gently.
"Do you want to go out?" He whispered.
I sighed and nodded. "Yes, please."
He smiled and walked me to the garden outside Melinda's house. I took a deep breath and sat in one of the benches. I stretched my legs and rubbed my ankles. Joshua looked at me tenderly and held my hand. "Let me do that for you."
I froze while he smiled and kneeled in front of me. He looked very handsome tonight wearing a brown shirt, a dark coat and dark trousers. He gently massaged my ankles and my body almost squirmed from the contact. We've never shared any contact like this since our arrival from New York.
"Better?" He asked me.
I nodded. "Yes. Thank you."
He continued to rub my ankles and my body relaxed immediately. "What do you think about the wedding?" He asked me in low voice.
I blinked several times and he looked at me with his beautiful eyes. I felt daze for a moment before I shook my head. "Uh...it's beautiful," I mumbled.
He smiled grimly. "Yes, it is."
Silence.
I looked to the man in front of me and my conscious part told me to talk with him. I've been asking many questions to myself since that night. If he really loved me, he wouldn't cheat on me. Would he? If he chose that woman over me, he won't waste his time on me. Right?
"What was exactly happened that night?" I blurted out.
Joshua's hand stilled on my ankle and he raised his head to look at me. "Pardon me?"
I gulped. "What...was exactly happened...that night?" I repeated more slowly.
He blinked several times and then he sighed. He rose from his kneeled position and sat next to me. "She came to me and asked how I've been. The usual. She saw you too, of course, and she asked me why I chose you."
Okay, I can take that.
"I gave her my answer and then suddenly she wrapped her arms on my neck and asked me to kiss her. She promised she won't interfere with my life anymore if I kissed her."
I went rigid.
Joshua chuckled nervously. "And then I heard someone call your name and I quickly turned to see you were standing there. I was shocked, of course. I didn't know if you ever going to believe me with my story. And you know what happened next...we sat together and Helena called you to the podium..."
He laughed lightly and looked at me. "You don't know how proud I was at that time, Abby. I knew you were angry, but you still keep your smile for her. It was amazing and I felt guiltier."
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I started to panic when I saw you didn't sit back on your chair. I tried to follow you, but you were already gone. I called you, but you turned off your phone."
I remembered that.
"Natalia came to me again and she still had the nerve to say that I should forget you. I was beyond furious and almost yelled at her. I asked her how she could be in this event. She never liked books; she just pretended to like it so she could have reasons to be with me. She said Helena is her cousin and that's why she attended the book launching. I said to her that I will never love her and I only love you. I also told her to stop interfering with my life and I could ask my dad to make sure of that."
He gingerly raised his hand and stroked my cheek. I still sat there, froze. "I was looking for you all night," His voice turned shaky now, as if the memory was painful to him. "I didn't know what I do if I couldn't find you."
I sighed and closed my eyes.
"Abby, I swear to you...I never cheat on you. I love you so much. Please, my love. I really...can't stand this distance. I'd rather you kill me than avoiding me," He said again.
I opened my eyes and looked to those hazel orbs. He looked at me with sad expression. I sighed and leaned myself to the bench. I stared at the starless sky. "Because it will make sense if you cheat on me."
"Wha-What?"
I smiled grimly and looked over my lap. "You were a player once, although you didn't admit it. You said you did it for my attention." I chuckled lightly. "It's just strange if you suddenly devoted yourself to me, the plain Abby Bennett."
And then I felt he lifted my chin and turned my face so I looked at him. He looked at me deeply. "Abby, I know I've hurt you, even though it was unintentionally. I know you won't believe me so easily. But, you have to know something." He sighed and held both my hands into his.
His hands felt so warm and my heart skipped a beat. I didn't realize I missed him for being this close. His eyes were smoldering now. "My heart already belongs to you since I was six years old. There's no one that I want but you. I love you. I truly love you."
I laughed nervously.
He frowned. "You still don't believe me, do you?"
I gulped. "I want to believe you, really. It's just..." I sighed. "It's so hard."
He smiled coyly. "Melinda's father and uncle are both ministers. I could ask one of them to lead our small ceremony right now."
Huh? What?
My eyes widened. He didn't mean that, did he?
"If you still doubted my devotion, I will prove to you right now. I don't have any second thoughts to marry you. I worked hard to become a doctor for you. I tried to be a good man for you. What more do you need me to do? If you want me to do your laundry or cook for you, I will do it for you."
I gaped at him. What...how...geezzz...
He leaned closer so our faces were inches away. My heart fluttered and I trembled slightly. "Tell me, Abby. What more do you need me to do?"
I blinked several times. "I...uh...don't know."
He smiled warmly. "I wished there was another way to say I love you or show you how much I love you. I will do it in a heartbeat."
My heart twisted. I still loved this man; I couldn't lie to him about that. But, what if he hurt me again?
"Abby," He said and stroked my cheek. "What are you thinking?"
I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. Could he love me for the rest of his life? Could he stand for my clumsiness and my sleep talking? Could he still love me if I turned fat when I become pregnant with his child?
"Dear...please, your silence is maddening," He whispered.
I sighed. "I'm afraid," I murmured.
"Afraid? Afraid of what?"
I swallowed hard. "I'm afraid you will change your mind someday. I'm afraid you will find I'm not good enough for you. I'm afraid you'd rather choose a normal person rather than a clumsy one like me. I'm afraid-"
I didn't finish what I said because suddenly he grabbed my nape and kissed me. My body jolted with fire and for a moment I didn't move. But, I couldn't lie to my heart. I missed him. I missed everything about him. His lips moved on mine gently while I gingerly kissed him back. One of his hands moved from my nape to my waist and he hugged me closer. I forgot we were on Melinda's garden and any people could catch us making out. I simply didn't care.
He broke the kiss and our foreheads touched. He looked at me with smoldering eyes. "Never...have I meant never...ever say anything like that again. You are beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful. Don't forget that!"
I tried to control my breathing and then I nodded. He stroked my cheek and kissed me again, pouring his heart, his remorse and his love through the kiss while I returned it with all I could.
"Please, don't move out...don't leave me," He said on my lips.
His scent clouded my mind and all I could do was nodded slowly. "I won't."
He smiled tenderly and kissed me again.
A soft song was heard from the house and Joshua broke the kiss. I looked at him while still control my emotion.
"Dance with me?" He whispered.
For the first time in my life, I nodded and he took my hand and led me to stand from the bennch. He wrapped his arm on my waist while the other arm held my hand. We started to move slowly when the song began, which I recognized it was Everything by Lifehouse.
There was nothing better than this, being in his arms.
There was so much going on in my relationship with Joshua these few months. I hated him at first, I became attached to him, I liked him, I fell in love with him, I accepted his proposal and then everything turned to the beginning again. Well, not very much in our beginning. I just needed time to trust him again and Joshua knew it too. On our journey back to Seattle after attending Melinda's wedding, he had some ideas for us to spend time together.
"We will go on dates," He stated simply.
I raised my eyebrows. "Dates? Why it has to be plural?"
Joshua chuckled lightly. "Do you think one date could make everything turn to normal again?"
"Oh."
He smiled grimly. "Even you didn't think so."
I sighed. "We both are working, Joshua. How could we have time for our...dates?"
He pursed his lips while his eyes still staring at the road. "We will have our dates after work, of course."
I rolled my eyes. "You can't just do that for me. We can spend our time together at night in our apartment. We don't have to do that."
Joshua nodded slowly. "True. But, I still want to do it with you."
Oh, well...
Day 1
Joshua called me on lunch time and said to me that we will go to watch a movie in the theatre. I guess he really meant it when he said about dates. I went home at the afternoon greeted by Joshua in our apartment. He already dressed in casual clothes and waiting for me to go home. I quickly took a shower and changed my clothes into simple outfits. We drove to the theatre with his car and I stood in front of the ticket booths trying to decide which movie I...uhm...I mean...we would like to watch. There were romantic movie, horror movie, thriller movie and comedy movie.
I scratched my head. Horror movie was out, that was sure.
"So, which one do you like to watch?" Joshua asked me.
"Well..." I looked again at the movies. "I don't want to watch horror movie."
"Hmmm...thriller or comedy?"
I pursed my lips.
"Or the romantic one?"
I grimaced.
He chuckled and pulled out his wallet. He knew me too well.
We watched a romantic movie. The movie told us about a girl who forced into a marriage to save her family's money. She didn't know that her future husband was her childhood friend who already loved her since their childhood. I almost groaned to myself. The movie was not resembled anything in my relationship with Joshua, but the childhood friend part was.
After watching the movie, Joshua took me to a diner to have dinner. I honestly am enjoying my time with him. I tried to push away all the bad memories from the previous weekend and tried to accept him back. We had our dinner and then he took me to walk for a while. We strolled on the sidewalk aimlessly while he held my hand.
"What do you think about the movie?" He asked me.
I took a deep breath. "Well...romantic movies always have the same pattern. You hate the guy and then you fall in love in the process and then happy ending."
Joshua nodded thoughtfully. "More like your feelings for me?"
I looked at him immediately.
He smiled. "I know how you feel about me, Abby, and I willingly want to have a happy ending with you."
I chuckled nervously. "Do you know something funny, Joshua?"
He looked at me curiously.
I smiled grimly. "True love doesn't have happy endings, because true love doesn't have an ending."
He smiled warmly and kissed my forehead.
Day 2
"Bowling?" I asked him in shock when he called me again in lunch time.
"Yes, dear. We will play bowling tonight."
I rolled my eyes. "What are we? High school kids?"
He chuckled. "I'll see you at home, Abby. I love you."
"Yeah."
As usual, Joshua already home before me and already dressed in casual outfits again. He waited for me to have my shower and changed my clothes. We drove to the bowling center and after had our shoes from the shoes counter, we walked to our line. I grimaced when I saw everyone in the center. It looks like we were the only 'adults' in the room. And of course, it's not Joshua if he couldn't attract the attention from the women. All of them were giggled when they glanced to Joshua's direction while eyed me with speculation eyes. I frowned internally.
I was too distracted, so I didn't see Joshua already stood next to me. He wrapped his arm on my waist and I returned from my daydreaming. I looked at him while he looked at me with smoldering eyes. He smiled coyly and suddenly kissed me fiercely.
I froze.
I've never done like this in front of lots of people before. My heart was beating so fast while Joshua continued to kiss me. I almost gasped when I felt his tongue on my lips. His kisses were so drugging and I automatically kissed him back. I opened my mouth and our tongue battled for dominance. I forgot where we were. I forgot about everything. And then he broke the kiss and smiled on my lips.
"You are mine!"
I shivered. I didn't know the purpose he kissed me because of the annoying women or he wanted to mark his territory on me to other men.
Or maybe both.
He gave me a chaste kiss and walked to grab his bowling ball. I blinked several times and looked over to all the people around me. Most of them were gaping at us and most of the women narrowed their eyes on me. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.
It was a lovely date, I guess.
Day 3
I was working on my computer when my BlackBerry vibrated at 10 in the morning. I looked at the caller ID and furrowed my eyebrows at the random numbers. I pressed the answer button.
"Hello?"
"Um...hello? Is this Miss Abigail Bennett?" A male voice was heard on the other line.
"Yes, that's me. Who is this?"
"Oh...hi there, Ms. Bennett. My name is Mark Dimartino. I..uh...looked over the advertising last week and I thought you were selling your car. It's Honda sedan, right?"
I blinked. He interested in my car? I quickly grabbed a paper and a pen. "Uh...yeah, Mr. Dimartino," I said to him while writing down his name in the paper. "It's a black Honda."
"I see. Are the machine still good?"
I grimaced. "I'm afraid not."
"Hmmm..." He sounded thoughtful. "Actually, Miss, I'm a scrap metal factory owner. If the sedan is not working anymore, I would like to buy it as a scrap metal. Is that all right with you?"
My eyes widened. "Wait...wait...a what?"
"Scrap metal," He repeated his words earlier. "I'm selling scrap metal from unused cars or motorcycles and things like that. Don't worry about the price, though. If that's ok with you, I will come to your place and try to look how much I could buy for your sedan."
I blinked.
There was a sharp pang in my heart when I realized my sedan won't stay in good shape anymore, but I guessed everything will come to an end and this was my sedan's time. The car already became a good company through my high school until my working years. Even until I learned that I was engaged.
"Miss? Hey, are you there?"
I startled slightly and cleared my throat. "Um...yes, I'm here. Uh...what time will you come over to my place?"
"I'm free today, Miss," He said again.
"All right...how about tonight at seven?"
"Sure. Can you give me your address?"
I gave him my apartment address and he promised to arrive at my apartment on time. I called Joshua after Mark called me to tell him that I couldn't go tonight to whatever date plans that he had. I told him about Mark who wanted to buy my sedan and he said he will accompany me when Mark came to our place. We haven't married yet, but seeing him wanted to help me to have a decision warmed my heart.
I went home at 5 and Joshua already arrived before me. I took a shower, changed my clothes and made a quick dinner for both of us while waiting Mark to arrive. True to his words, Mark arrived at our place exactly at 7 pm. Joshua opened the door and after a brief introduction, I took him to the apartment's garage. Mark was an elderly man with light brown hair and dark eyes. His eyes lit up when he saw my sedan. I cringed when I had imagined he will turn my sedan into pieces.
He seemed pleased to see my old sedan and discussed the price with me. Joshua didn't say much when Mark and I had our negotiation. The agreement was settled and I almost was surprised that my old sedan was valued more than I expected. Mark gave me amount of cash just like we agreed before and he promised to take the sedan early in the morning.
"So, are you happy now?" I asked Joshua when we arrived in our room. "Finally, your wish is come true. That sedan is gone for good."
Joshua smiled grimly and wrapped his arms to my waist. "Dear, there are two things that you should know."
I looked at him curiously.
His eyes glinted. "First, anything that makes you unhappy makes me unhappy too. So, I'm not so happy for the sedan because I know how the old thing means to you."
I raised my eyebrows. He wasn't happy about my sedan being turned into scrap metal, but he called it 'the old thing'.
"Second..." He buried his face to my hair while my heart fluttered. Since Melinda's wedding, we were becoming closer and we didn't hesitate anymore to show our affection to each other. "Finally, I can buy you a car."
I leaned away from his embrace. "Joshua!"
He looked at me innocently. "What?"
I rolled my eyes. "I told you before I can buy my own car. You don't have to do that for me." And then I wrapped my arms around his neck while his eyes darken.
The playful Joshua always waking up the playful Abby.
I leaned closer to his lips while he looked at me longingly. "But, maybe you can do something for me," I whispered on his lips.
"Anything," He said breathless.
I smiled coyly and kissed him hard briefly before quickly leaned away from my own embrace. "Race you to the bedroom."
I quickly turned away and ran to my bedroom, but Joshua was quicker than me. Before I could reach the door knob, he already carried me bridal style in his arms.
He grinned. "Who said we were going to sleep in your room?"
I giggled and he kissed the tip of my nose.
Day 4
Early in the morning, Mark came to our apartment and took away my lovely sedan. I almost cried when I saw my sedan was carried away in his trailer, but at least the sedan already gave me great company. Joshua rubbed my shoulder gently when I resisted not crying in front of Mark. I kissed Joshua's cheek before I went to work as a thank you for staying with me when Mark took away my sedan.
Joshua surprised me today when he picked me up from work. He still wore his shirt and trousers; he must be coming home from the hospital.
"Where are we going?" I asked him after I buckled my seat belt on his car.
He revved the engine. "Well, we didn't have our date last night, so why don't we have a dinner at a cafe and then have a DVD night?"
I raised my eyebrows. "Wow, I thought you're going to take me to a fancy restaurant."
He grinned. "It crossed in my mind before, but I know you won't like it so-"
"All right," I said desperately. "Just go. I'm hungry."
Joshua chuckled and kissed my forehead briefly before drove from my office. We arrived at the small cafe and ordered our dinner. We talked casually and I got the chance to tell him about my promotion. Joshua's hazel eyes lit up when he heard about my promotion and insisted to have a special dinner as a celebration. As always I refused and as always he had the way to make me agreed with him. Joshua also told me that he already applied for his pediatric exam in Harvard and waited for the invitation letter. I swallowed hard when I remembered we will live separately for years, but I guessed it was worth it. He never spoke about marriage again and I didn't know if he knew that I will say yes whenever he proposed to me.
We went home afterwards to have our DVD night. As always, I used the bathroom while he set up the living room and when he used the bathroom, I prepared for our mattress. I was wondering if we still can do things like this after we were married.
We lay together in the mattress, watching a documentary. I honestly had no idea what the movie was about because Joshua kept distracting me. He kissed my temple, my cheek, my neck and made my body tingled with desire. It has been so long since the last time we shared our...uhm...close moments.
I turned my head to see him and he stopped kissing me. Our lips were inches apart. "Do you want to watch the DVD or not?" I said in husky tone.
Joshua smiled. His eyes already darken with passion and my stomach knotted. I clenched my fists not to grab his hair and attacked his lips.
"I have something more interesting," He answered in husky tone too.
I couldn't take it anymore. My hands flew to his hair and kissed him passionately. Joshua wrapped his arms on my body and hugged me closer. Soft moans escaped from both of us while our lips moved together.