You'll Say Yes (40 page)

"Stella?"

"Hmmm?"

I looked over to her. "I think I know what you meant about the test."

She smiled coyly. "And what is that?"

"I learned how much he loved me."

Stella chuckled. "That's good. And now you need to forgive him. Can you do that?"

I smiled grimly and kissed Joshua's hair. "I'll try."

She nodded cautiously. "You will consider your decision to move to England, right?"

I took a deep breath. "I'll think about that."

Stella laughed lightly and gave me the medicine bag. "Just follow the doctor's order, will you?"

I rolled my eyes while she giggled.

~O~

I let Joshua slept on the couch while I had my shower, changed my clothes and made some breakfast...well, actually order some breakfast. My leg felt so much better after I took the medicine. The front door of Stella's apartment was knocked in nearly lunch time. Stella was still busy in her studio and I opened the door to find Kevin and...Kimberly.

I raised my eyebrows. Wow, this is truly a surprise.

"Hi, Abby," The blond girl greeted me sheepishly.

I smiled slightly. "Hi, Kevin, Kimberly. Please, come in." I opened the door wider and gestured them to come inside.

Their eyebrows were shot up when they saw Joshua sleeping on the couch. I mentally slapped myself. I forgot he was there.

"Uh...he just arrived this morning and he looked so tired. So, we let him sleep for a while," I explained to them. And speaking of Stella, I must tell her she got visitors. "Sorry, but you can wait in the dining room. I'll tell Stella you're both here."

Kevin and Kimberly nodded while I walked to Stella's studio. I knocked on the door and popped my head to a half-open door. "Hey, sorry to disturb you, but Kevin and Kimberly are here."

Stella raised her head and her eyebrows shot up. "Kevin and Kimberly?"

I shrugged.

She rolled her eyes. "That's unexpected. Can you give them a company while I finished this?"

I grimaced. Kevin was fine, but I didn't know about Kimberly. The last time we met was not a pleasant memory for me.

Stella sensed my hesitation and smiled. "She won't do anything stupid, Abby. Besides this is my place. I can kick her from my room in an instant."

I giggled. "All right." I walked back to the dining room to find them both already sitting on the chairs. I smiled. "Stella said she'll be here soon."

Kevin smiled back. "It's all right. Actually we come here to see you."

I blinked several times. "To see me?"

Kevin laughed lightly. "Yes. I just want to make sure you're fine after what happened last night."

I swallowed hard. I still didn't forget that and shivered slightly. "Uh...I'm fine. Thank you very much. My leg is a little bit sore, but Joshua already gave me a medicine. I'll be fine."

Kevin nodded and cleared his throat. "Well, I just remember there's a big game in the channel. Do you mind if I watch TV in the living room?"

I grimaced. "Not so loud, please. Joshua needs his sleep."

He grinned and ruffled my hair. "Don't worry." He kissed Kimberly briefly before walked out from the dining room.

I stood there awkwardly with Kimberly sitting on the chair. I knew Kevin did this on purpose, but I couldn't blame him.

"So...Abby...how are you?" Kimberly asked me.

I crossed my arms in my chest. "I'm good. Thank you for asking."

Silence.

"Uh...Kevin told me what happened last night."

I chuckled. "Thanks to Kevin to tell you, I guess. I owe him so much, though."

Kimberly chuckled too. "I know that. I've been on your position once."

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

She smiled grimly and drew random patterns on the dining room table. "I know how you feel. You are so lucky; Kevin was there at the right time. As for me..." She took a deep breath. "I was not that lucky."

I shivered. I never knew about this story before. "I...I don't know what to say. Did you tell anyone about this?"

Kimberly chuckled. "Just my parents and...Kevin, of course. He was the one who helped me. He was there when I needed help and when I can't trust a man; he tried so hard to make me trust him."

I frowned and took a deep breath. "I'm...sorry..." That was the best I could say right now.

She laughed lightly. "It's all right. I can accept that. That's why I'm so defensive. I'm afraid of people to hurt me and I'm kind of jealous of you."

I went rigid.

Kimberly smiled and looked at me. "I know how much Joshua loves you. I envy you, Abby. You had someone who loves you so much and wants to do everything for you. As for myself..." She sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry about what I said the last time we met. Joshua was very angry with me. I don't think he wants to see me again after that lunch."

I took several deep breaths. "So, you're being nice with me because what happened last night?" I asked flatly.

Kimberly gaped at me. "No, Abby-"

"I don't need your pity, Kimberly." I could feel the anger in my body again when I remembered her friendship with that strawberry blond. "I know about you and Natalia. I bet you'll tell her about happened to me last night and you both will laugh behind my back. Laugh all you like. I owe Kevin, not you," I said sternly.

She shook her head frantically. "Abby, you don't understand-"

"Which part that I don't understand, Miles? We will never get along well. Don't waste your time on me. Feel free to be jealous with me, that's your problem. I never stick my nose to other people's problems, so you better do the same."

Kimberly blinked several times and her shoulders slumped. "I guess I deserve it," She mumbled.

I scoffed. "You can't just expect me to come to you with open arms. It's not that easy."

She nodded sadly and then Kevin appeared in the dining room with...Joshua. My heart sped up when I saw him. He narrowed his eyes when he saw Kimberly and quickly took his place next to me.

"It's so good to see you here, Kimberly," Joshua said in flat voice.

Kimberly smiled grimly and the atmosphere suddenly turned awkward. Stella appeared in the room just in the right time and asked us to have lunch together. Kevin and Kimberly politely declined Stella's offer and excused themselves to go home. Stella just raised her eyebrows when both of them shut the front door closed. She turned to me. "Wow, Abby. What did you do to Kimberly?"

I shrugged. "Just gave her some pointers. Bennett’s style," I smirked.

Stella giggled while Joshua looked at me in amusement.

The three of us had lunch at a cafe two blocks from Stella's apartment. After lunch, Stella insisted Joshua to buy some clothes to change. I learned that he didn't bring anything during his search for me. We stopped at a store and Joshua purchased a T-shirt and some outfits that I didn't want to know. I didn't speak much with him and honestly our relationship was back at the beginning. The time when we were just know each other again. I sighed. I already fell in love with him and trusted him, but he ruined it. It will need lots of time for us to re-build our relationship again and I didn't know if I could do that.

We said goodbye to Stella in the afternoon and I thanked her for allowing me stay in her place. I also apologized for showing in front of her door without notice.

"Never mind about that, Abby. Just be careful on your way back to Seattle," Stella winked at me.

I laughed lightly and hugged her. "Thank you for everything, Stella. I hope I could visit you again someday."

She patted my back and released my hug. She peeked to Joshua's direction from my shoulder and then she looked at me. "Don't be so hard to him. He's miserable too. More than you know."

I smiled grimly. "Bye, Stella. Say hi to Evan for me."

She chuckled. "Bye, Abby. I'll see you soon."

We rode to the airport with the car that Joshua rent. I was sure the journey will take more than six hours and I wasn't sure if Joshua could make it with only sleep for few hours. But, I remembered he told me about the difference from the quality sleep and the quantity sleep when we had our vacation in Florida. I swallowed hard. Those were sweet memories before all of these things happened. Would we ever go back to those moments?

I looked over the window and pondered what my choices are. I needed to re-build my trust with him. I still love him, but I didn't think I could commit to a marriage yet. Especially from what happened after that night. Should I go back to my old apartment and began our relationship for the beginning?

"What are you thinking about?"

Joshua's voice startled me and I looked at him. He already changed his clothes and he looked fresh enough; better than the first time I saw him on Stella's apartment. He stared at the road, but I knew he waited for my answer. I sighed and leaned my head to the seat.

"I'm thinking about what I will do when I'm back to Seattle," I answered him.

"What will you do when you back to Seattle?" He asked me slowly.

I took deep breaths. "I want to have time for myself." From the corner of my eyes, I could see he tensed.

"I don't understand, Abby."

I stared blankly at the road. I knew I needed time to re-think everything and there was only one way to do that.

"I want to move from our apartment."

He clutched the steering wheel tighter and suddenly he pulled over from the busy road. He turned off the engine and looked at me. "Are you saying you want to move?"

I nodded. I was getting used to his sudden behavior. It didn't surprise me when suddenly he stopped over. "Yes."

Joshua took deep breaths and slowly held my hands. I jerked slightly; I guessed I didn't fully trust him yet.

He sighed and looked at my eyes. "You want to leave me?"

I smiled slightly. "I didn't say I wanted to leave you. I just need time to think again about everything."

"But, you still want to marry me, right?"

I froze.

Joshua looked at me with panic in his eyes. "Or not?"

I took a deep breath and slowly released my hands from his hold. I turned my head to see the road. "What you did was not an easy thing to forgive, Joshua," I told him. I looked back to his eyes. "I fell in love with you, I trusted you, but you threw it away. Perhaps we will realize what we really mean to each other if we live separately again."

He trembled slightly and held my shoulders so I turned to him. He took several deep breaths. "Is there anything I can do to have your love back or to have your trust back?"

I smiled grimly. "Maybe there's a way, but honestly I can't answer your question either. If we were meant for each other, we will find our way back together."

"Are...are you really...calling off our engagement?" His voice full with pain.

My heart clenched. "I'm not calling it off. We just need time for ourselves; to think about everything."

Joshua looked at me with sad expression. Suddenly he hugged me so tight and I went rigid.

"Why must everything come to this? I just got you back, Abby."

I smiled and patted his back. I released his hug and held his shoulders. "We will be fine. I know we will."

He smiled sadly and slowly leaned over to kiss my forehead. "You're still my fiancée, Abby."

I took a deep breath. He said that once, but then he broke my heart. "Don't make promises that you can't keep, Joshua Walsh," I said sternly.

He looked into my eyes and smiled grimly. "That's not a promise, Abby. That's a vow."

~O~

We didn't say much on our journey back. I distracted myself by listening to some music from my iPod. I didn't know what time is it now for we were not allowed to turn our cell phone on; and I could tell it was nearly midnight, but I didn't feel tired or wanted to sleep. I was thinking about what I will do when I arrived back at Seattle. Moving out, definitely. But, my schedule was so full and I remembered I must attend Melinda's wedding on Sunday. I groaned mentally when I remembered my sedan. I will have to ride with taxi to my office until I buy a new car. I realized going to England was not the best choice. I didn't want to escape to another country just to stay away from him. I've never been to another country before; I didn't know if I could handle the culture shock all by myself. I didn't have plans to ask Joshua to come with me to Melinda's wedding yet, so maybe I could rent a car for my journey to Long Beach.

We arrived at the apartment at 2.00 am in the morning. I walked back to the room and when I opened the door I could feel the atmosphere was really changed. I used to feel home and warm, but now it felt cold. I walked to my bedroom and closed the door behind me. I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. My eyes still didn't want to close. I decided to listen to some music from my iPod until it was time for me to change my clothes and went to work.

I spoke with Mr. Smith and told him that my decision is final. I didn't want to go to England and he said he will give me a higher position. I felt elated, of course, because I was not a junior editor anymore. I was so happy and I called Stella to tell her about the news. Stella was happy for me too and congratulated me. She didn't ask much about me and Joshua, and I was thankful for that.

After speaking with my boss and my best friend, I prepared myself to work again with Kelly. I spent the day reading and editing and I brought the manuscript to my apartment so I could work from my laptop. I went home to an empty apartment; Joshua must be still in the hospital. I took my shower and ate my dinner in silence. After I finished, I walked to my bedroom and began to work in my laptop. I turned the music on and began my work. A few moments later, I heard the front door opened and I stopped momentarily. I heard footsteps and then I heard another door was opened. He was home. I took deep breaths and returned to my work. The next day was the same. He already went to the hospital by the time I woke up.

On Thursday night, he was knocking on my bedroom door when I was working from my laptop.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," He said to me and sat on my bed.

I took off my glasses and shook my head. "No, you're not. Is there anything wrong?"

He smiled slightly. "Uh...Melinda called me this morning."

I raised my eyebrows. "O...kay..." I momentarily slapped myself. I forgot to tell her that I'll come to her wedding.

He took a deep breath. "She asked me if we were attending her wedding or not."

I pursed my lips. "Of course I'll go. I already planned to rent a car and drive to Long Beach. I'll tell her." Joshua knew about my sedan and now the old car was still in the apartment's garage. I already am advertising in local newspapers to sell the old thing.

Joshua looked at me cautiously. "I want to attend her wedding too."

My eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

He nodded slowly.

I chuckled. "Well, that's good. We'll see each other there." And then I turned around to my laptop and wore my glasses back.

"I'm asking you to go with me," He said again.

I froze. Slowly, I turned around and looked at him. "Excuse me?"

"I will ride with you to Long Beach," He told me.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "Well..."

"Please, Abby..." He pleaded. "I know you're upset. I know you're angry, but...I feel miserable these days with you avoiding me. I will give you time, I will give you space, but please...just this one occasion, let me go with you."

I stared at him blankly and he sighed. "I know you'll be moving out soon. I can feel that. But, please tell me if I have just one chance, even the slightest one to have your love back and your trust back. I will do anything."

I scoffed. "Save your words, Joshua. It means nothing to me. You said those beautiful words and then you snuggled up with Natalia. Who do you think I am, Joshua?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at me. "I know, Abby. I was stupid-"

"You're not stupid," I interjected. "You're a moron."

He blinked several times while I sighed. "If you have nothing else to say, you may leave. I still have work to do," I said flatly.

He closed his eyes briefly and approached me. I instinctively backed away a little in my chair and his eyes flashed with hurt. He raised his hand gingerly and stroked my cheek. I turned my eyes from him. My heart beat turned erratic. The feeling of anger and betrayal clouded my thoughts. Slowly, he kissed my forehead while I clenched my fists. He still had the effect to my body, but I didn't trust him now.

"I love you," He whispered.

I didn't answer him.

He walked out from my room and closed the door behind him. I stayed still in my place before turned back to my laptop.

~O~

Sunday morning came and I didn't know why I had to agree to go to Long Beach with him. I just brought one small bag filled with the green dress that Stella bought for me along with the outfits, casual clothes, underwear and my toiletries bag. We didn't have plan to stay longer because we both had to go to work on the next day; and wearing a dress definitely not the best choice for a long journey. Stella called me and said she couldn't attend Melinda's wedding, because she couldn't take day off from her work and there was no way she could arrive in Long Beach and returned to New York in a day. As for Joshua, I still didn't speak much with him and he didn't try to talk with me either.

We went to Long Beach early in the morning because Melinda's wedding will be held at church on 4.30 pm. Not to mention the reception. I distracted myself with my iPod and my BlackBerry, never glancing to Joshua's direction. We stopped two times to use the restroom and bought some snacks and we still didn't speak much. Joshua pulled over to my dad's house in lunch time. My dad being a good host invited Joshua to have lunch, but he politely refused and said goodbye to me on the porch. He kissed my forehead like he used to do while I didn't say much to him. I walked in into the house when his car didn't fully leave the driveway. I slowly walked on the steps when my dad called me.

"Where were you those two days?" He asked me from the bottom of the stairs and I stopped on my feet.

I sighed. "I went to New York, Dad."

"Joshua was looking for you that day," My dad said again.

I smiled grimly. "I know."

"He told me what happened."

I turned to my dad and walked down the stairs until we were in the same level. "He told you the story or his side of the story?" I asked flatly.

My dad smiled slightly. "He looked miserable, Abby. I can't describe it to you. He was so confused, so...lost. He begged me to tell him where you are. Of course, I didn't know where you are so I told him the truth. He didn't stay long, though. He went back to Seattle and flew to Phoenix. At least that what was your mother told me."

I rubbed my temples.

"Abby...honey," My dad touched my shoulder lightly. "I trust Joshua. He will never cheat on you. He just tried to...avoid that woman for good."

"You didn't see him that day, Dad," I said to him in shaky voice. "He did that in the middle of my office's event. What was he thinking?"

My dad sighed. "I know that, honey. I told him that too. He didn't say anything when I almost yelled at him."

I blinked several times. "You did?"

He chuckled. "I'm still your dad, Abby. You're still my responsibility...well, literally, until I handed you to his hand."

I sighed.

"Sometimes the truth hurts. But, it's better if you know it from Joshua himself rather than anyone else. He was man enough to admit his mistake. He said to me that he already spoke with William too and I think his father didn't like what that woman did either."

I nodded slowly and my dad hugged me tenderly.

"He loves you, Abby, with all his heart. Sometimes the way we know which one is our true love is by heartache."

"Like you and mom?" I mumbled.

He chuckled and released his hug on me. "You can say that. I love your mother so much and I still love her now. But, your mom needs a man who's more than me and I can't blame her."

I swallowed hard. "That's what worries me, Dad."

My dad raised his eyebrows. "What? That you will find another man better than Joshua?"

I smiled grimly. "No, Dad. I'm worried that Joshua will find another woman better than me." I laughed lightly. "Natalia is beautiful."

He chuckled. "If he chooses that woman over you, he'll do that when he was in Canada."

I laughed sadly.

"Talk with him, Abby. And I mean is...really talk."

I smiled again. "Thanks, Dad."

He nodded and I walked back on the stairs up to my old bedroom. I lay on my back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I turned the alarm on from my BlackBerry and sleep caught me afterwards.

~O~

Joshua picked me up at 4.00 pm and I said goodbye to my dad before we left. We will return to Seattle after the reception so we could arrive by midnight. We headed to the church and arrived just in time. The minister was Melinda's uncle and the church was decorated in white. I unconsciously imagined what my wedding would be like, but I quickly dismissed that thought. Melinda gave the both of us the front seat, next to her family. Brian looked gorgeous with his black tuxedo and he looked so happy. I smiled slightly and gave him a knowing smile when he looked at me. He mouthed 'thank you' to me and Joshua and I replied him with a wink.

And then the melody from the piano turned to the wedding march and I could see two beautiful girls walked in wearing gold dress with flowers in their hands. They must be Melinda's cousins, no doubt. And then, Melinda walked inside with her father; dressed in beautiful white gown with the veil and flowers in her hair. I almost cried when I saw her. I knew they loved each other deeply and I wished I could have that kind of relationship too. I smiled grimly. And then I felt Joshua held my hand and I looked at him. He smiled tenderly as if he could read my mind. I blushed and quickly turned my gaze from him.

The ceremony went beautifully. I watched my best friend changed vows and now officially became Mrs. Compton. I hugged her tightly when she came down from the altar to hug her parents.

"Congratulations, Melinda. I'm so happy for you," I said to her.

She chuckled and released her hug. "Thank you so much, Abby, and thank you for coming. I'm waiting for your invitation, though," She winked.