You'll Say Yes (29 page)

I opened my eyes. "And what about now?" How could he still love me after those two women continued to attack him? I guessed that was one thing I could never understand from Joshua.

"She still is hoping, of course. But, that's her problem."

I sighed.

"See? It's easier if we can talk about this," He said to me. I could feel he was smiling.

I blushed. "Sorry," I whispered.

He chuckled and kissed my hair. "No need to apologize, dear. I just want to make you see how much you mean to me and I love you."

I nodded slightly.

"Abby?"

"Hmmm?"

"What is your answer for my...proposal?"

I smiled slightly in his T-shirt. "You definitely have a brighter way to propose again," I quoted his words, "and I still need to settle our relationship, so it's on hold." As much as I love him, I knew we need to work out with our job issues first.

He scoffed. "You serious?"

I smirked. "Watch me."

He laughed.

~O~

I arrived at my office in Monday morning half in a daze mode. Finally, Joshua proposed to me, but I didn't give him my answer yet. I just thought we need to settle some things first. Things like Ryan, my transfer and mostly Natalia. I was guessed right, though. She didn't give up. After our discussion, his phone was buzzed all night long, but he never bothers to look at it. I slept alone in my bed that night, asking him for some time with myself, although between my consciousnesses, I felt he lay down beside me in the middle of the night.

I have a meeting this morning, surprisingly with Ryan in the meeting room. I didn't see him much after lunch; it was a surprise to see him again in the same room. We were sat down in the meeting room, all six of us. Mr. Smith, Mrs. Bennington, Ryan, other two editors and myself. I still couldn't focus with what I did since the proposal.

I was torn between two options. One, I knew I love him and God knew how much I wanted him and two, well, because I still need to see his option for his next degree. It was his dream after all. If Joshua's hospital already made the decision, I'll make mine.

I was drawing random patterns in my notes, getting lost in my own thought when Mrs. Bennington called my name.

"Abigail."

I startled slightly and raised my head to see all the eyes in the room were staring intently at me. I blushed.

"Would you like to share what are you thinking right now? You seemed busy."

I gulped. Mr. Smith stared at me curiously while Mrs. Bennington smirked slightly. I frowned internally. I must think quickly before I could embarrass myself any further and thank heavens, an idea popped in my mind. I cleared my throat. "I-uh-just trying to figure out the concept for Mrs. McLane's book launching," I answered her.

That was true. I've been thinking about that all night when I tried to get some sleep. I guessed it was working after all for saving my dignity.

Mrs. Bennington nodded thoughtfully. "We were just discussing that matter, Abigail, but we haven't found an idea yet. Do you have any suggestions?"

I managed to cover my embarrassment from being caught in my daydreaming by telling them about the concept I've been thinking for the book launching. Truthfully, it was the only productive thing I could do after the proposal. I could see Ryan watching me from the corner of my eyes. His face showed he was calculating something.

My bosses released us to lunch after the long meeting. They both seemed satisfied with my idea, although it was the last minute idea. I walked slowly to my booth, lost again in my thought until I felt someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around slowly and saw Ryan standing right next to me. I smiled reluctantly. I still didn't trust him.

"Are you hungry? We can have lunch together," He said.

I grimaced. I still didn't forget the last time I have lunch with him. "Um...I can go by myself."

"Please, I promise I won't do anything stupid."

I chewed my bottom lip.

Ryan still looking at me, half-pleading.

I nodded slowly. "Alright. Let me get my purse."

This time we were having lunch at the cafe where the two of us met. Joshua texted me and told me to have my lunch and said that he loves me. I smiled slightly.

"Is that Joshua?"

I raised my head to see Ryan looking at me with his dark eyes. I cleared my throat. "Um...yes." I placed my BlackBerry back to my purse. I started to eat my food while Ryan was playing with his fork.

"So, you already know you're going to England?" He asked.

I continued to chew my food and sipped my drink. Ryan was looking at me intently. I smiled slightly. "Yes, Mr. Smith told me."

"And did you accept it?"

I shrugged. "Not yet. I need to settle some things with Joshua first," I felt I need to mention Joshua's name this time.

Ryan sighed and leaned back to his chair. "I'm sorry if I were rude to you earlier."

I raised my eyebrows. What happened to the old Ryan? "Excuse me?"

He smiled grimly. "Mr. Smith knows my intention to transfer you to New York and he also knew it was not...a pure... job."

I crossed my arms to my chest.

"He called my bosses in New York and told them about what I did and they were not happy about that," He paused. "I'll come back to New York after the book launching."

I nodded thoughtfully. Well, if he did leave, my problems will decrease.

"I just want to tell you something, Abby."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Tell me what?"

Ryan smiled timidly. "Just be happy with Joshua."

I chuckled. "What brought this on? You're not drunk, are you?"

He chuckled back. "I wish I am, so I wouldn't feel embarrassed when I say this to you," He sighed. "I'm sorry for everything. I just want you to know that...I like you."

I blinked several times. "Excuse me?" I barely knew him, but he said he liked me. Why do I have to deal with the dreamy type of guy?

Ryan played with his glass. "I heard so much about you from Joshua when we were dorm mates. At that time, I didn't know that a kind of girl like you exists. Not all girls are selfless, kind and smart like you. I really want to know you, but how could that possible if Joshua himself never met you since his high school graduation?"

He seemed lost of words.

I sipped my drink and trying to understand his explanation.

"I just acted like a happy college man, with girls and parties, but sometimes I never know what's good for me. I always envied Joshua. He studied hard, determined to finish his medical degree so he could see you again and proves himself to you. And in one opportunity, I visited his room to borrow some notes and I saw a beautiful picture of a girl on his desk."

I raised my head to look at him.

Ryan smiled weakly. "I asked who she was, although I could guess it was you. When he mentioned your name, I was like...I really want to meet you personally. Joshua knew my reputation and he didn't like it at all. He punched me immediately and I was shocked. I guessed it was just instinct overtaking when I punched him back. The dorm's head separated us and brought us to the student counselor. We spent our detention cleaning the public toilet for two weeks."

Ryan grimaced to the memory while I gaped at him. Wow, I didn't know that.

"Huh...that was a good story," I mumbled.

He laughed lightly. "I just want to tell you that I'm not as bad as you think. It was a surprised when I met you here the first time. I was just testing the water when I asked you out, hoping Joshua didn't find you yet. But, then I saw your ring," He gestured my promise ring and I instinctively look at my ring. The dark stone sparkled under the cafe's light, a reminder of Joshua's promise for always be mine.

I shivered again.

"He gave it to you, right?"

I nodded and smiled slightly. "Yes."

Ryan sighed. "I understand if he was upset when he saw me. I don't blame him. And again, it was selfish to go out with you. But, Joshua knows me better and I think he knows you too. He knows you wouldn't fall for me." He chuckled nervously.

I smiled timidly. If only he knew what happened to our relationship after his fiasco at the bookstore.

"And the last thing I want to say is please, just consider the offer, Abby. This chance will not come twice. I know you must be thinking about Joshua too, but I'm sure he already has his own plan to stay with you," He said again.

I chuckled lightly. "I know. Thank you, Ryan." I just realized we both called our first name. I didn't know yet if Ryan realized that.

"Um...Abby, can I ask you a question?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

He sipped his drink before looked at me. "If... if you met me before you met Joshua, will you like me?"

My eyes widened. "Huh?"

He smiled again. "Will I ever have a chance with you if Joshua was not in your way?"

I pondered his question for a moment. Actually, I questioned that to myself several times. Will I ever fall in love with someone besides Joshua? Will I give myself a chance to open my heart? I've already dated several times and I didn't see a man who catches my heart yet. But, Joshua was different. Despite of his stubbornness, he's also a loving person and he always knows how to comfort me. We did have differences, but honestly, it was a thing that makes our relationship grows stronger.

And then I knew my answer for his question. It was an epiphany for me.

I knew now Joshua was the one for me.

I took a deep breath. "You will find someone who knows how to make you special, Ryan."

That was my final answer and I think Ryan knew what the meaning behind it was. Even though he came to my world before Joshua, or there was no Joshua, there will never be a chance for both of us.

Ryan nodded slowly and I smiled.

"Thank you for telling me your side of the story. I think you're not as bad as I thought," I concluded.

He smirked. "So, you thought that I was bad?"

I grinned. "Mostly."

He laughed lightly and I was praying silently this was the last time I had lunch with Ryan.

I've never saw Ryan again after lunch. Camila, who I assumed had a relationship with him, didn't seem affected with Ryan's absence. I knew Camila never tied herself with one man, so I guessed with Ryan going back to New York didn't bother her even the slightest. I didn't ask Ryan about their relationship, because I've never been interested in other people's business. Maybe the truth will reveal itself in time.

Joshua and I began the transition phase of our relationship. Rather than guessing around or over reacting on something that's completely unnecessary, we chose to talk about lots of things. His shifts in the hospital were still bad and we rarely had time even for just going out to the grocery together. Sometimes we just talked in bed, either his or mine, until we both fall asleep. I was only able to sleep alone for one night. And then the next night, I sheepishly knocked his bedroom door and asking his permission to sleep in his room. I've never spoke about Natalia anymore and Joshua just told me that Natalia sometimes called him and texted him, but he never answered back. I was supposed to be glad, but somehow I felt it was just the beginning of the next step in our relationship.

As for his proposal, I still haven't given him my answer and Joshua never mentioned it again. It looked like he knew I will accept his proposal anyway and it was only a matter of time when I did say yes. The hospital didn't give the decision about Joshua's scholarship while Mr. Smith didn't ask me again about my answer to his offer. Everything was hanging now.

Today was Wednesday, one week after the gala fiasco, and I went home greeted by Joshua in our apartment. I didn't know how he managed to come home early, for he said once he couldn't change his shift. But, I guessed he must have found his own way.

"I need to talk to you," He said to me after I had my shower and changed my clothes. His expression was wary. Mix of disappointment, but...hopeful?

"O...kay..." I managed to say.

Joshua held my hand and we sat at the living room couch. I was getting worried and anxious. Did it have to do with the hospital's decision? Did they approve it? Or did they were not approve it? I gulped.

"What is it?" I asked nervously.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. I lived long enough with him to know he often did that if he was nervous.

"Joshua?"

He closed his eyes briefly before opened it again and looked at me. "I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?"

I blinked several times. "Well...depends on what situation is involved to the news."

He chuckled. "Clever answer."

I smiled slightly when I saw him relaxed even for a while.

He sighed again and seemed to be thinking.

I couldn't take it anymore. "Joshua, please tell me what's wrong."

He took a deep breath before answering, "Thehospitalagreedwithmyterms."

He was speaking so fast that I couldn't catch what he was saying. "Wait...wait...will you please speak more slowly. I don't understand what you were saying."

"Oh...sorry," He blushed lightly and it was a cute thing to see. He held my hands and looked deep to my eyes. I couldn't remove my gaze from his green eyes. "The hospital...they agreed to transfer my scholarship to England if I wanted to, but they said the process will take two years to do that."

I gaped at him. "W-what?"

"I can move with you to England, but I'm afraid we can't see each other often for two years."

My breathing was getting shallow. I've never pictured this scenario before in my mind. I only imagined the decision will be take it or leave it. Why did the process taking so long? Damn regulations!

If I did go to England, it meant Joshua and I will have this kind of long distance relationship for the next two years and if I choose to stay, Joshua will stay here and still have his scholarship. But, if I stay what will become with my job? My co-workers must be thinking that I'm crazy to pass this opportunity, but I couldn't do it if I must stay far away from Joshua. Not to mention the Natalia thing. Besides I wanted to be with him.

'And the last thing I want to say is please, just consider the offer, Abby. This chance will not come twice. I know you must be thinking about Joshua too, but I'm sure he already has his own plan to stay with you.'

Ryan's words replayed in my mind. I knew this is one time opportunity and I must wait for a long time for a chance like this. But, even if I had to wait, it will come eventually. As for Joshua, the offer from the hospital will never come twice.

"I've told you before, Abby," He said when I didn't respond, "I'll do anything to stay with you. I can manage my schedule and therefore I can visit you in England. You don't have to be worry, dear."

No, I said to myself. I couldn't make him do that. I could go to England anytime or get my transfer in another chance, but his opportunity will never come twice. I've already had the job of my dreams and I wanted to give the same thing to my...fiancé. It was getting harder to cover my feelings in front of him, but I couldn't find the courage to say the words to him...yet.

I felt he caressed my cheek and I looked up to see his face. "What do you think?" He whispered. His face was still guarded and worried.

I composed my face and said the words, "No."

He blinked several times and seemed confused. "No?"

No, there was no way I live apart from him. I knew my answer. "No," I repeated my word earlier. "I will stay here. I'm not going to England," I made my decision.

Joshua's hand dropped from my face. "Abby, you can't do that."

"Yes, I can," I said stubbornly.

"I told you I'll be damned if I take your job from you."

"You are not taking my job from me, Joshua," I said sternly. "Will you please listen to me?"

He looked at me for a moment before nodded slowly.

I sighed and took both of his hands to mine. We stared at each other. "I've already had my job, Joshua. I love my job and I give myself into it, just like you said. This transfer to England...thing...someday the chance will come back to me, but what happened to you is different."

I paused to see his reaction.

He still looked at me in guarded expression.

"This opportunity will never come twice and the most important thing is this is your dream. I can't take it away from you. I'll be damned if I did that," I quoted his words earlier.

"But, what about your job?" He asked me with pained expression.

I shrugged. "I'm sure Mr. Smith can think something else. Probably, I won't be a junior editor anymore."

Joshua exhaled and his shoulders slumped. He still looked sad.

I stroked his hair. "Hey, you should be happy."

He scoffed. "How could I be happy if I let my fiancée's opportunity passed away in front of her eyes? I'm asking too much from you."

I shivered when he said the word 'fiancée'. I smiled grimly. "You're not asking anything from me, Joshua. I want to do this for you. I told you my opportunity will come in due time, but yours is a rare thing. We could move to England if you wanted to after you finished your pediatric degree."

His eyes were smoldering instantly and I froze in my seat.

"We could move to England...after you marry me."

I sat still, stunned.

For a brief second, we were just staring at each other before I shook my head to gain my thoughts back. "We'll see," I managed to say.

He smirked. "Yes, I will."

I made a face. "Of course you will."

He laughed and pulled my body to him. I smiled when I leaned my head to his chest. His amazing scent calmed me instantly like always. For a moment, I just enjoyed the silence with the sound of his heart beating.

"Abby?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you remember when you told me you still had two days off from your boss?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and leaned away to look at him. "Yes," I answered cautiously. What did he have in mind?

He grinned. "What will you say if we had a trip to Florida this weekend?"

I gaped at him. "W-what?"

"You can ask your day off just one day on Friday. We leave early in the morning and spend our time there until Sunday afternoon," He continued his plan, ignoring my dumbfounded expression.

I swallowed hard. "B-but, you told me you can't ask for-"

"Don't worry about that," He interjected. "I can deal with my schedule."

I bit my lip. "Why suddenly you wanted to go to Florida anyway?"

He smirked and crawled on the couch and I instinctively scooted back until my back was pressed against the armchair of the couch. His eyes glinted mischievously and some parts from my body liked this side of Joshua. My heart beat turned erratic when his face was inches from mine.

"First, I want to spend my alone time with my fiancée. Second, I know how much you love the beach. Third, I want to spend my time with you with no interference at all, not from work or even family. I want to have you for myself and the fifth, because I'm getting sick and tired with this town."

I blinked several times. Is this man for real?

He began to kiss my cheek and up to my eyebrows.

Damn it!

He knew I couldn't resist him if he started to do that. He continued to kiss my face while I fought hard to keep my thoughts coherent.

"So, what do you say, dear?" He whispered in my ear and I shivered. His voice was low and husky.

I'll be damned if I resisted him.

I titled my head to look at him. I didn't need words to answer his question. I pulled him down and captured his lips to mine. It had been a while since we share our intense kiss. With our hectic schedule and the tension involved Natalia, this whole week we were just share a chaste kiss, but never a true kiss.

I wrapped my arms to his neck while Joshua wrapped his arm on my waist. Our tongues battled, soft moans escaped from both our lips and my body was lit with the familiar fire again. For a brief second, I didn't mind if he takes me on the couch right now.

Surprisingly, it was Joshua who broke the kiss first and when I thought it was over, he pulled me up into the sitting position. His back was pressed on the couch while I was straddling him. We were both panting and my hand still clutched his neck while his hand still on my waist. I looked into his dark eyes.

"Abby...we...have...to...stop now, baby...I ...don't...want to...hurt you," He managed to say between his breath.

I stroked his cheek and he closed his eyes briefly before opened it again. "I don't want to stop," I said to him in low voice. My other hand was playing with his hair now.

"Please...Abby...I don't want to do something...that made you regret...in the end," He said again between his haggard breathing.

I took deep breaths and leaned my forehead to his. We stayed still until we could control our breathing. It was funny to see that I was the one who pushed him for the physical step. The reason he stopped for both of us made me realize something. He really did care for me and my heart clenched painfully. I made a promise to myself to enjoy my trip this weekend with him.

I smiled and leaned away to look into his eyes. The hazel color that I loved so much looked back at me with such intensity. "Let's go to Florida," I said to him.

He chuckled and kissed my forehead.

~O~

Joshua and I spent the night arranging the plan for our beach trip. We decided to stay at a beach house owned by his family and drove with his car to the airport. I never knew The Walshs had a beach house, but with the last impression from their house when I visited there I shouldn't be surprised. We arranged our time to do the grocery tomorrow afternoon after we both home from work. We also agreed to keep our cell phone with us in case of emergency, but we kept it in silent mode.

I went to work in the next day and walked straight to Mr. Smith's office. I contemplated to myself several times during the journey to my office that I'll ask for my day off personally to him and also told him about my decision. I was sure he won't be too happy, but again this was my decision.

I walked out from the elevator after the 'ding' sound to Mr. Smith's secretary desk. Marianne, the girl with light brown hair and light brown eyes raised her head when she saw me walked to her desk. She smiled genuinely.

"Good morning, Ms. Bennett. How may I help you?"

I smiled. "Good morning, Miss Philips. I would like to meet Mr. Smith, please."

"I'll go check on him, then. Will you please have a seat?" She gestured to the chairs in the lounge.

I nodded. "Thank you."

I turned around and walked to the nearest chair while I heard Marianne timidly call Mr. Smith and informed him that I was here and asked permission to see him. I bit my lip and almost bounced in my seat because of my nervousness. The prospect of having a beach trip with Joshua did a poor job to ease my erratic heartbeat. Joshua assured me that I'll get my day off and I told him that I'll tell my boss about my decision. He felt guilty for making me not accepting the offer, but I told him I couldn't live apart from him. Joshua didn't ask the reason why I choose to stay, but I think he already knew that I loved him.