You Only Love Twice (9 page)

He flushed slightly and his hands clenched. “I didn’t know.
They didn’t give me a map. They drugged me and shoved me on the back of a
donkey or some shit and sent me on my way to the next torture hole. Is that
what you wanted to know? Really, you should have just fucking asked or you
could have read the Agency’s reports, but you already did that, didn’t you?”

She couldn’t give him any more than he already knew. Her
stomach was churning where just moments before she’d been happy and relaxed.
God, she wished he’d never opened his mouth. “You were on the tapes.”

His expression didn’t change at all, but she could see the
way his skin flushed. God, she hated doing this to him, but he was making it
impossible for her to go back to being Phoebe Graham. Jesse would never have
treated her the way he just had if she’d been able to stay Phoebe Graham. “You
mean the ones where my unit…my friends were executed? Are you talking about
those tapes? Yes. I was on the tapes and I looked perfectly fine with the
experience, didn’t I? I should be damn glad those tapes never made it out of
the Agency’s vault or I would have been on every news station as the grinning
idiot who watched his friends die and he wasn’t even tied up. Did you watch
those tapes, Phoebe?”

Did she watch the tape where her husband had been executed?
“No.”

Ten wouldn’t allow it. He’d threatened anyone who might have
shown it to her with a painful death, and Ten’s people had believed him. She’d
heard about the tapes. In every single one, Jesse Murdoch had been present with
a smile on his peaceful face. At the time she’d been certain he’d done it to save
himself, but she knew him now. She believed what he’d told the agent who had
debriefed him in Germany. “How much heroin did they give you?”

It was the only explanation. Despite their “pure” Islamic
beliefs, most jihadist groups made their money off heroin. Everyone with a
brain knew terrorists had very little to do with real Muslims.

“Enough that I had to do some hard rehab afterward. Tell me
who you’re working for, Phoebe. I don’t want to have to escalate this. I was
tortured by the best. I don’t want to do that to you.”

The very fact that he would threaten it pissed her off.
Especially when she knew damn well he wouldn’t do it. Months and months with
the man had proven that he had looked into that abyss and turned from it. Jesse
Murdoch would protect and defend, but he would never torture.

Well, except in the sweetest way.

“Really?” She took a step forward. “You’re going to torture
me the way they tortured you? You’re going to dope me up and kill a few of my
friends and try to make me believe I did it?”

It was what they’d done to him. She’d read his file. It read
like a damn horror novel, though at first she’d thought he was just really good
at crafting fiction.

Jesse stopped, his arms falling to his sides and his eyes
narrowing. “No. I won’t do it and you know it. I don’t need to. I know an
Agency operative when I see one. Well, when I stop thinking with my dick, I do.
You bastards. You’re why we were taken. Do you think I don’t know that?”

“What?”

He huffed a little, like he didn’t believe her question.
“Sure, you didn’t know.”

“What are you talking about?”

His lips curled just slightly. It was the cruelest look
she’d ever seen on his sweet face, and her heart ached because she’d been the
one to put it there. “They targeted my unit, Phoebe. It wasn’t random. They
were looking for an operative code named ‘the spider.’ The Agency was embedding
operatives into troops.”

Her stomach dropped. “No. That’s not true.”

No one could have known. No one would have told. Jamie had
been caught in a random act of terrorism. It hadn’t been their fault. No way.

Ten would have told her.

She’d been the one to come up with the concept. Ten had
argued against it. Violently. He’d told her it would put the soldiers in the
unit in danger, but Jamie had liked the idea. He’d been the one to talk Ten in
to trying it, and it had failed spectacularly.

Was she the real reason Jesse Murdoch had spent all those
months being tortured, his soul being ripped apart?

“Phoebe? Baby, are you going to pass out?” He immediately
dropped the tough guy act and his arms went around her just as her knees went
weak.

She hadn’t eaten all day and the drugs were making her
loopy. No. She was fooling herself. The guilt was making her sick. Had she done
this to both Jamie and Jesse? She felt herself being hauled into strong arms.

“Do I need to get a doctor?” He pulled her close and it felt
so good to be in his arms.

She wanted to pretend the last several hours hadn’t
happened. She let her head drift to his shoulder just as she heard the sound of
a helicopter. Distant at first, and then she watched in utter horror as it
dropped into view, blocking the sight of the Dallas skyline.

Her eyes widened as she saw a tall, lean man standing on the
foot rail, a SIG in his free hand and a grim look on his face. He nodded and
the chopper rose again, likely to set down on the roof.

“What the hell?” Jesse turned. He had caught a glimpse of
the chopper before it rose. “Was that a traffic copter? I don’ t think they’re
supposed to get that close to the building.”

She shook her head. “No. You need to tell Taggart to let me
go and lock the doors. If he lets me go, I think everyone will be safe.”

She clung to Jesse for one second longer because her time
was up.

Ten was here.

Jesse kicked his office door open. He didn’t even think
about letting Phoebe down. He couldn’t risk it. He believed her that something
was about to happen and it was going to be bad, but the last thing he was going
to do was put her out in the hallway and lock the doors behind her. He wasn’t
going to leave her out there like some sacrifice.

He wasn’t ready to give her up. He was supposed to have more
time. He knew it couldn’t work, but he’d planned to get inside her and have
that one memory. She would have let him do it, too. She’d been so hot when
she’d spread her legs and let him bring her to orgasm. He’d felt her tighten
around him and imagined it was his dick instead of his fingers, getting
squeezed from all sides while she milked him dry.

Yeah, it had taken everything he had not to come then and
there.

And then he’d been an asshole because he couldn’t say what
he’d wanted to say. So he’d struck out and he’d hated the hurt look that had
come over her face.

“Jesse, the party’s starting.” Li walked out of his office,
holding Avery’s hand. Her hair was mussed and she had a glow about her that
told Jesse something had been going on in that office. He guessed a couple with
a kid took whatever time they could get. “Grace just called and said all the
rug rats are happy and fed and she wants pictures before we start.”

Avery took a deep breath. “And I can smell the appetizers
Sean cooked. I think he did that tenderloin bruschetta thing. I swear I gain a
pound just walking into the man’s house. I’m so glad you took Phoebe out of bondage
for the party. You can do the questioning thing after Eve opens the presents.
Oh, and I happen to know Li here plans on spiking the punch. A little whiskey
might make the whole interrogation easier.”

“Get the kids and take cover.” He didn’t have time for
explanations.

Li went from relaxed to predatory in an instant. “Avery, get
the women and the kids into the back room. Now, love.”

She took off running.

“How long do we have?” Li asked.

“Three minutes at most. They’re coming from the roof.” Jesse
hurried after Li.

“What the fuck is going on? Erin!” Li jogged down the hall.

Erin’s office door opened. “What?” She frowned Phoebe’s way.
“What the hell is she still doing here? Don’t we have a shallow grave for her
or something? I thought she’d be fertilizing Big Tag’s trees by now.”

Phoebe ignored her. “You have to let me go. He won’t play
around.”

“Who?” His arms tightened around her. “Tell me who the hell
is about to burst in those doors, Phoebe.”

“You have to let me go.”

But he didn’t. He had zero intention of allowing her to go
anywhere until he had his answers. He sure as fuck wasn’t giving her up to some
Agency search and rescue that didn’t even have the damn authority to work on US
soil. No way, no how.

“Erin, can you lock her in?” Erin’s office was the closest.
He would prefer to tie her up, but it looked like their time was about to be up
and he needed to be able to fight.

“Of course. Throw the princess in there. I promise she’ll
have nowhere to go,” Erin said, opening the door wide.

“Don’t do this, Jesse. Please let me talk to him.” Phoebe
was starting to struggle. He hated leaving her. It was obvious she needed rest
and food, and the desire to provide for her was riding him hard, but he
couldn’t do a damn thing if they took her away.

He set her down on the couch and walked away, locking the
door behind him.

“What the fuck is going on?” Li asked.

“I think the Agency is about to attack the office,” Jesse
explained.

Li’s jaw dropped. “The bloody Agency? Are you telling me
that a Special Forces unit working for the CIA is about to walk into the
office?”

“I’m afraid they aren’t going to walk in. I think they’re
going to try to take Phoebe without giving themselves away, and I won’t let it
happen.” He pulled his SIG from his holster.

Erin shook her head. “Dude, we can’t attack an American
military unit.”

“I’m not attacking. I’m defending.” They didn’t get to walk
into his home and take his shit. And yes, Phoebe would likely protest that she
wasn’t his shit, but she didn’t get a say-so. Until he was satisfied and done
with her, she belonged to him. Then the fucking Agency could do what they
wanted to him.

“Get the doors locked,” he yelled. It might buy them some
time.

Li started to move for the office doors just as someone
kicked them open.

Damn it. They hadn’t even had time to lock the doors.

He caught a glimpse of a group of black clad men and then
watched as a familiar looking cylinder rolled into the office.

“Bloody fucking hell!” Li yelled as the flashbang rolled in.
He pivoted on his heels and leapt toward Erin.

Jesse turned as fast as he could as the world blasted with
smoke. He protected his eyes before the flare flashed, but his ears rang.

In the distance, he could sense men moving in. He managed to
stay on his feet, managed to keep moving. It wasn’t the first time he’d been
hit with one of those fuckers.

He turned briefly and there was already fighting. Li was on
the ground, having taken the full brunt of the flashbang by covering Erin’s
body with his own. She was already on her feet, kicking out against a man who
moved into the room.

He caught sight of eight men moving in, their guns at the
ready. They moved in an easy formation that spoke of years and years of
training. They were utterly silent, their faces covered by dark masks, but
Jesse had learned to see through such trivial things. He remembered men by the
way they walked, the way their shoulders set, and how their eyes moved.

He’d seen these men before. He’d watched them in battle.
They might want to stay anonymous, but he wasn’t about to let that happen.

“Tennessee Smith!” He couldn’t really hear himself, but he
was trying to shout.

One of the men stopped, but Jesse watched as his jaw
squared. “Find her. We don’t leave without her. Get it done.”

Li tried to get up, but he had a gun pointed at his head.

Erin kicked out at her opponent and for a few seconds it
didn’t look like the man knew what to do. She caught him squarely in the
midsection and Jesse knew his ears were clearing because he heard an audible
huff as the operative briefly lost the ability to breathe. He had to give the
kid credit as he came right back up. He caught Erin and hauled her back against
his body. She immediately brought her elbow up and back, easily getting away.

She didn’t get more than a few steps before the man tackled
her. He tossed his full weight on top and wrestled her down to the floor.

Just like that Jesse knew Ten had given orders not to kill.
There was no other explanation. No one was going to fire a shot. The guns were
there to intimidate, but no one had told Big Tag that. Ten likely thought he
could do a quick, get in, get out mission since it was the middle of the day.
He possibly believed shock and awe would work, but what the stupid fucker
hadn’t counted on was Charlotte Taggart throwing a baby shower and the office
being full of women and kids.

Tag was going to kill someone. Maybe a whole lot of
someones.

A big guy with an M4A1 carbine pointed it his way. “Get on
your knees.”

No fucking way. He felt the pressure build. It always seemed
to start low in his gut, though he knew it was all in his brain. Somehow the
fear manifested itself in a physical way and it didn’t matter that it was a
lovely day in Dallas and the air conditioning was set low because Charlotte
always seemed warm these days. None of that mattered because his vision blurred
and he could feel the heat of the Iraqi sun on his face, feel his skin. It was
too tight. He’d woken up after the IED had blasted his Humvee and he’d been
shoved out of the vehicle, reaching back for the new guy.

“I said get on your knees. In a minute or two this is all
going to be over and you can go about your day,” the man said.

Jesse was caught between worlds. He was almost certain the
man in front of him was Case Taggart, but about half the words that came from
his mouth were said in Farsi.

He took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to go there. He
needed to stay in the here and now. Dallas. He was in Dallas and Ten had come
to reclaim his lover.

Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen.

He punched Case right in the face, secure in the fact that
the soldier had likely been told not to fire a shot.

“Shit!” Case yelled before returning with a punch of his
own.

Jesse took it right on the jaw. The pain flared, but it also
kept him in the here and now. He looked to his left and the operatives had
scattered, though their numbers had diminished since it was taking two of the
eight to hold down Li and Erin.

“They won’t shoot!” Jesse yelled.

“Like fuck we won’t,” the one pointing a gun at Li said.

Case pointed that gun at Jesse again. “Stand down. On your
knees.”

Jesse wasn’t fooled again. Though the words the man used
were a trigger for him, the actual trigger told the tale. “Your fucking
safety’s on, asshole.”

He punched him again, hard across the bridge of his nose,
and Case went down. Jesse looked up and Big Tag was moving into the room, his
body protected by a large man in the same black uniform everyone else was
wearing. He had his hands up and a tense look on his face as Tag forced him
into the room, a SIG at the back of his head. There was no way Tag had the
safety on that one.

“Let my people up or I will blow this motherfucker’s head
off his shoulders. And I don’t want to do that. I don’t even have plastic down.
My wife has a strict edict that when I blow some dude’s head off, I have the
courtesy to put some plastic down. You’re going to get my wife pissed at me.”

“They have their safeties on,” Jesse said. “I think that’s
Michael Malone you’ve got. Si would be sad if you offed him.”

“I can live with disappointment,” Simon said as he walked in
from the break room. Unfortunately, he’d been caught. His hands were up, his
eyes icy.

“Why don’t you let my guy go and we’ll talk about letting
this one off the hook,” a man with a slow Southern accent said.

“Or I could blow your head off.” Charlotte Taggart placed a
semiautomatic at the back of Simon’s captor’s head. “Ian, where is the plastic
tarp? I told you, I don’t want blood on the carpet.”

Ian’s whole body went tense. “Oh, there’s going to be blood.
I promise you that. You listen and you listen good whoever you are. That is my
wife behind you. She’s pregnant. If you try a goddamn thing, I swear to god I
will spend the rest of my life hunting you down and when I catch you, I will
ensure that you live a long time in as much pain as your body can take.”

“Fuck.” The guy immediately dropped his weapon. “Taggart, no
one said anything about pregnant women. I promise. Check my weapon. There’s no
ordnance in it. None of us would ever hurt an innocent woman, much less a
baby.”

The door to the break room opened again. “What the fuck is
going on? There are babies back there. And I’m pretty sure one of them pooped.
Is Ten playing a joke on us? Is this some sort of practical joke?”

Jake Dean rushed into the room. “I got one down when he
tried to leave the back room. He walked in and stared for a minute before
practically running out.”

“Shit. Did you kill Boomer?” Malone asked.

“He’s napping. What the fuck is going on?” Dean asked.

“I want to know where Phoebe Graham is.” Ten strode back
into the room, but he wasn’t alone. He had Sean Taggart in his grip, a gun
placed against his head. Ten had pulled his mask off, obviously realizing the
game was up.

“Fuck me, Ian. I’m sorry. I had headphones on. I didn’t even
know he was in the kitchen until he had me,” Sean said.

“Because you’re supposed to be safe here,” Ian said to his
brother before his eyes shifted to Ten. “I will kill this man if you don’t let
my brother go. Do you understand me? You have thirty seconds or I’ll do it.”

“And you have ten seconds to give me Phoebe,” Ten shot back.
“I didn’t want to do it this way, but I’m not leaving here without her.”

Something was wrong with this scenario. Ten was willing to
burn down a whole lot of houses for a single operative. “She’s alive.”

“Then bring her out here. You give me Phoebe and I’ll let
Sean go, and then Tag and I never have to speak again,” Ten practically
snarled. “Don’t you call me when you get in trouble, Ian. Do you understand me?
I won’t answer it. You’re not the man I thought you were.”

“She’s safe, Ten. No one’s hurt her.” Jesse was watching Ten
closely. Tennessee Smith was always in control. Always smooth and easygoing.
Even when shit was going down, Ten was the kind of guy whose blood pressure
never ticked up. He was a man who cultivated relationships and yet he was
trashing an important one.