You Can't Help Who You Love (13 page)

Halee

I couldn’t believe this shit. First, Nardo dies and my best friend has to deal with that, then comes this bitch right here with her fucking son, knowing this was Miracle’s home and that she wasn’t really welcomed here. Granted, Nardo fucked with her but on a business tip. But, to bring your baby here knowing Miracle doesn’t know just yet was straight up scandalous, and as soon as I catch my breath from trying to run the car down, shit, MY car that Miracle left in, I was going to let this bitch know just how nasty that was. My bestie couldn’t defend herself right now so, I was the right one to do it for her!

“Bitch, you got a whole lot of nerve coming in here like that,” I started in on her.

“What you mean white girl? I worked for him and I came to bring my condolences. What, I couldn’t bring my son with me?” she asked, as she looked over across the room at Dallas. “It’s ok Dalvin, go to your daddy,” she said, pointing at a stuck Dallas. I took that as the opportunity to wipe the floor with her ass. Enough was enough and the shit this bitch was in here pulling wasn’t cook nor cute at all. I slapped her ass across the face with all my might. It was so hard that I was sure that my entire hand was going to be red tomorrow, but right now, I gave no fucks at all!

“Yeah bitch, now what?” I said, letting her gather herself. I was fye at what I did, so I wasn’t worried about nothing she was going to do. Either you going to beat my ass or I’m going to beat yours. Either way, ain’t no hoe in me at all.

“BITCH!” she said, jumping at me. I stepped back two steps and busted her nose on impact! That lick must’ve told her that I wasn’t the one to come fucking with. “Dallas, are you going to stand there and let this bitch hit on me?” The look he gave her was enough for her to leave, so she snatched her son up and walked out of the house, sending threats that I wasn’t worried about at all.

“Yeah yeah, little bitch, I’ll be in the same place next time if you want some more. Come get yourself some more if that’s what you want to do!” I yelled behind her, chucking up the deuces. Immediately, I was mad at myself because this was the wrong place and the wrong time to do this shit and now I see that. I was glad Quis wasn’t here because I knew he would’ve snapped on my ass the moment I acted up. “Justin, I’m sorry,” I said to him, but he just held his hand up and told me to leave. “What the fuck? I’m family, just like anyone else in this bitch. I wasn’t going to let her come up in here and disrespect my sister, YOUR BLOOD SISTER at that. But you know what? You don’t have to tell me twice!” I said, grabbing up my shit and walking out. I stopped as soon as I remembered that Miracle left in my car. I called her twice and got no answer, so I walked across the street and headed to my parents’ house.

*****

I was in a deep sleep when my phone was ringing off the hook. Seeing that it was Quis, I jumped up and wiped my eyes like he could see me. “Hello,” I answered, trying to sound wide awake, knowing that I was asleep.

“Yo, come to the door,” he told me before hanging up.

“This nigga,” I mumbled before slipping on my shoes and heading downstairs. I wasn’t surprised seeing that neither of my parents were home. It didn’t even look like the maid was here. I shrugged it off and opened the door, seeing my handsome, milk chocolatey ass nigga standing there looking as good as he did last I heard from him. I wondered why he wasn’t at Miracle’s house, but shrugged it off as he was handling his business like normally.

“What’s up with you showing your ass?” he asked me, skipping all introductions.

“She came there with that baby trying to start shit up and before you come with the fuck shit, yes, I know it was a bad time but I don’t like that bitch and I don’t respect her for that shit she pulled. I’m going to apologize as soon as I see Justin because I know I was in the wrong. So, spare me the argument that I know is coming,” I said, shutting him down.

“You just need to get ya mind right and stop going on where shit don’t concern you. Yes, I know Miracle is your girl, but if she left, you should’ve walked away and left it alone as well. Stop acting so fucking childish and get with the fucking program!” he barked at me.

“Nigga, if this is why you came over here, then you can show yourself out. I said I was wrong; I don’t need you to continue fussing at me. I’m not your fucking child; I’m your girl. So, act like it,” I snapped back.

“See, you’re not a fucking girl anymore; you’re a woman. Leave that high school shit where it’s at. I don’t like that fuck shit and I thought by now that you would’ve seen that.”

He was right. I knew I was wrong. But I’m always going to protect my girl when she wasn’t around. Fuck what anyone else said or felt about the shit. That’s just us because I know, without a doubt, that she would’ve done the exact same for me. I said nothing as I walked pass him and headed back upstairs into my room. I grabbed my weed case that was faked as a soda can and grabbed some weed that I placed in there when I first got here and proceeded to roll me up one.

“When you going to stop being so fucking petty?” Quis came upstairs asking me, kicking off his shoes.

“IM not being petty. Don’t scold me when I’m admitting to when I’m wrong. I don’t like that shit and like you said, by now, you should know that shit. I was wrong, ok, I know that. But I had to stand up for her. You could see all in Danielle’s ugly ass face that she came there wanting to stir up some shit,” I pouted. I was still trying to find a way to right my wrongs.

“That still doesn’t give you right to swing on the bitch at their home, while there mourning over their father, Halee. Don’t think I’m fussing because I’m always going to be on your side, without a doubt. But I’m supposed to tell you when you’re wrong. But enough with all that, this was a crazy ass day. I couldn’t be to the house because I was out seeing if anyone heard or said some shit about the shooting. I heard some shit and I truthfully don’t know how to approach Justin with it,” he said, dropping his head. I could see the hurt all in his face.

“What happened?” I asked him.

“Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head over,” he said, kissing me. I passed him the blunt and we sat there in the dark, getting high. Just vibing. This is what I liked about him. No matter what situation was brought to us, we were one and I loved that feeling. I felt myself dozing off and he picked me up and placed me under the covers, then climbed underneath them with me.

“I haven’t told you this yet, but I love your ass Halee. Don’t make me ever regret this shit, but I don’t even think I ever could,” he told me. I felt the sincerity in all his words.

“I love you too Marquis, I really do,” I said, kissing his cheeks. I could really get used to this love thing. I was against it for the longest and now I had someone that I didn’t have to worry about betraying me. I called Miracle three more times, only to see that she had changed her number. I was hurt, but I was going to let her have her space for now. I wasn’t worried about her doing anything crazy because I knew for a fact that my best friend was built Ford tough. I wasn’t worried about her leaving in my car, because that only gave me an excuse to drive one of Quis’s cars that I had been waiting to drive. Letting my mind wonder a little bit more, I finally fell asleep in my mans arms. Tomorrow was a new day and I was going to take it head on.

Carter

I was amped after shooting up Justin’s trap. I know someone got hit in the process but really, I didn’t give a fuck until I found out it was my dad. Knowing that I played a part in his demise fucked with me. True enough, I wasn’t fucking with him right now, but I never wanted to see him six feet under. I had been smoking my life away since I knew that shit. I had become solely dependent on the cocaine. I didn’t even smoke it with a weed anymore; I just made straight lines. I wanted to go check on my family, but I knew by now that the streets were talking, so I placed that thought on the backburner. It had been almost a week that my dad been gone, and his funeral was tomorrow. I knew I probably wasn’t welcomed there, but I was going anyways. I just would have to be sure that nobody saw my face because I knew if they did, that shit would get crazy, and I wasn’t really ready for that just yet.

I was on the couch doing lines and, as always, my dick rocked up, so I headed back to the backroom where I knew Micheala was. I don’t know if I was tripping or what, but I stood in the doorway and listen to her talk on the phone. “Sis, you’re better than me because I would’ve beat his daughter and her little friend; white girl don’t want any heat. I’m ready for this lazy ass nigga to come up off some real paper and when he does, we are going to be on the first thing smoking to LA. I need a change of scenery,” she told whoever she was on the phone with. That shit caused my antennas to stand up, so I stood there and listened some more. “Girl, fuck them, it won’t be long before they are underneath that dirt with their daddy and this nigga so fucking dumb; he listens to everything I say. That damn coke got his ass going crazy.” This bitch laughed. Right then, I got confirmation that she had been plotting on me from the jump and because of my fucked up ways and addiction to the coke she introduced me to, I had to see my father get buried.

Miracle

I couldn’t believe that Dallas had a son. Just knowing that was breaking my heart. It was almost time to bury my father and I was just making my reappearance. I hadn’t talked to anyone, not even Halee. I just wanted and needed my space from everyone. Since the day my daddy was killed, I had been staying in hotel. I got tired of being there for three days, so I went condo hunting and came across one that I loved just that quick. Though it wasn’t anything here, besides my bed and a few dressers, I loved it. I couldn’t believe my daddy was gone. It hurt me that I wasn’t a part of the planning, but at least I would be able to see him go. I laid in my bed and let my mind wander. I needed my daddy more than anything right now. I knew, without a doubt, that I could talk to him and right now, I had nobody. Well, I had Halee, but I wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone if it wasn’t my dad and since he wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be dealing with anyone. Being that I had a doctor’s appointment in the next few hours, I would go out and find something to wear. I wasn’t really up to it, but I would have to be. I know that I would hate myself if I didn’t go and see him before he was buried.

I looked at my phone, seeing that it was almost time for my doctor’s appointment. I drug myself out of bed and got dressed. The way I was feeling, I wasn’t up to be looking all cute like normal, so I threw on some sweats and a t-shirt with some Nike slides. That’s just how bad I was feeling. I locked my house, jumped in Halee’s car, and sped away. I sang along with Alicia Keys to her song, Try sleeping with a broken heart. I was doing that every night. Dallas hurt me to the core, then to know that the very bitch that he was cheating on me with, he shared a child with this woman. That was something that I couldn’t deal with. My mind floated the entire way to the doctor’s office. I was ready to see what the hell had been going on with me.

*****

I couldn’t process the shit this lady was telling me and I knew that there had to be some mistake. “I’m sorry, can you do that again for me?” I asked her for the third time. There was no way that I could be pregnant. There just couldn’t be.

“Ma’am, I understand that this is hard to take but there isn’t a mistake. I ran the test twice already and you are indeed 2 months pregnant,” the nurse told me again. I sat there and just stared into space. “I will give you time to let this process, but your next appointment is scheduled in three weeks. I’ll see you then and again, congratulations,” she said before exiting the room. Just when I was ready to leave Dallas’ ass for good, I just had to pop up pregnant. Under any other circumstances, I would have been happy, but seeing that my dad was gone and I couldn’t share the news with him, plus, I wasn’t the first to give Dallas a child, I couldn’t do this. I had to talk to someone and as much as I didn’t want to, I knew it had to be Halee. I pulled my phone back out of my purse and dialed her number. It rung three times before she decided to answer. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” I said. I knew I probably sounded like a little girl, but I didn’t care. Right now, I just needed my friend.

“MIRACLE? Where in the hell are you? I understand you’re hurt but you can’t just go incognito on us like that. You had us all worried. Where are you? Come home, please,” she ranted at me.

“You was right Halee,” I told her, ignoring every question that she asked me.

“Right about what? Miracle, what the hell is going on? If you’re not going to come home, at least let me come to you,” she begged me. I finally gave in.

“I’m going to send you my address and that is only for your eyes and nobody else’s. I’m not playing with you, Halee,” I told her.

“Ok, ok. Send it to me. I’m getting dressed now.” I didn’t say anything as I peeled myself off of the hospital’s chair. I held my head down the entire way to my car. This was the first time I had ever felt like this. Once I got in the car, I texted Halee my address and headed to get something to eat. After grabbing my food, I headed home. Pulling into my driveway, I seen one of Quis’s brand new cars and let out a deep breath. I was glad she came running to me. I needed a shoulder to lean on. She came to my car, breaking my thoughts.

“Whose house is this? What’s going on M?” she wasted no time asking me again. I let us in my house and led her to my room, which was the only place to sit right now. “What’s wrong?”

I finally answered her. “Well, how about let’s start with my father; he is no longer here and I don’t know who would want to kill him. Two, I find out that someone who is supposed to love and cherish me through it all was cheating on me and then he has a child who looked to be a few years old. Oh yeah, to top it off, I’m pregnant,” I said as I started crying.

“Miracle, I’m sorry. As far as your dad goes. It was just his time, but Quis has assured me that they know who did it and though he isn’t here anymore, at least the person who killed him is about to be no longer with us. Before you ask me, no they haven’t told me who it is. I don’t know why, but they are keeping the shit a super-secret. I know it hurts, hell, it hurts me too, but you have to be strong. If not for him, then for yourself. I believe in you and I know you can make it. You have to fight this shit and as far as you being pregnant goes, I’m happy for you! Even if you and Dallas aren’t seeing eye to eye; it’s something you need to talk to him about,” she told me.

“No, I’m not talking to him until I see fit and right now isn’t the time and don’t you go running your mouth to him or Quis either, Halee. I’m serious. I will cut your ass off for a month. Plus, I’m not even sure if I want to go through with this,” I told her honestly.

“What the hell are you talking about? You’re keeping my God baby. I know shit is hard right now, but it doesn’t rain forever baby girl. Don’t do something you’ll regret in the long run and I never been pregnant, but I know you, and I know it’s something you’re going to regret Miracle. So, quit the nonsense talk; you know the saying, when one dies, another is born. This is your blessing baby and he or she is going to help you get through this. Your father would be happy, just as I am. Don’t this to an innocent child,” she said, staring in my eyes.

“Ok, you’re right. You know me so well. I wanted to be happy and honestly, I was mad about it, but talking to you have me kind of excited. I know my dad would be happy for me,” I said. I stood up and gave her a hug.

“Ok, so enough of the mushy shit, whose house is this and why isn’t it furnished?” she asked me, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s mine and this is where I’m going to be staying until everything blows over. I can’t be in my dad’s home without feeling some type of way. I decided that I wasn’t going back to school, BUT I am going to go online. I know this will kind of set me back, but I’m not ready to go back yet,” I told her honestly. I had too much going on.

“Ok, you know I’ll be right here with you. I’m with everything you’re saying but don’t put off school for so long because this has been what you wanted to do since we were younger,” she replied.

“I know, I won’t. Thank you for coming and being there for me. You’ve made things so much better and I really appreciate it. Now, can you go with me to find something to wear to the funeral? I was supposed to go after my appointment, but I called you instead,” I told her, getting off the bed and grabbing my purse.

“Ugh, you would grab your shit before you even let me give you an answer, what if I would’ve said no?” she said, standing up too.

“You’d never tell me no and we both know that,” I said, laughing.

“Yeah bitch, you know I wouldn’t. you always get your way. May as well just have my car, so I can have this hottie.” She said referring to Quis’s Lambo she was pushing. We headed back to his car, jumped in, and headed to the mall. Getting there, I kept my mind focused on getting one outfit and that was only because I still had clothes with tags on them and plus, it was no longer about me. I needed to start saving up my money for when the baby gets here. Walking into a shoe store to find something to match the pantsuit I chose, we bumped into Carter and some girl.

“Heyyyyy!” I said, running to give him hugs and kisses.

“Uh, excuse you, baby do you know these broads?” the girl flopped off at the mouth.

“Bitch, I would advise you to shut the fuck up if you don’t want to be picking your teeth up off the floor in 2.5,” I told her. She was already on my nerves and something about her and my brother as well was off.

“Uh, hey baby sis. How’re you feeling?” he asked, looking everywhere except at me.

“I’m fine, preparing for this funeral tomorrow. I can’t believe he is gone and I’ll be glad when whomever is the reason for his death is dealt with,” I told him. I felt his body tense up and assumed that he was feeling how I was.

“Uh baby, say bye bye to these hoes, so we can go!” the impatient ass bitch said. I finally took the time to size this bitch up and I knew like hell, my brother could do better. This bitch was standing here looking like an off brand wanna be Nicki Minaj.

“Bitch I wish like hell you would shut the fuck up!” Halee told her.

“Like she running something. Need to be running to the fucking dentist for some fucking braces with her busted ass grill. Yeah BIG BROTHER, I’m going to let you finish giving this bitch the makeover that she clearly needs!” I said, kissing him before walking away with my front still facing her. My dad always taught us not to turn our back on a potential enemy. I noticed how Carter was looking at Halee. “Why was he looking at you like that?” I asked her, looking at some shoes. My eyes fell on some red bottoms that I knew would look good with my pantsuit. I grabbed them and we walked to the register.

“I don’t know but ol girl was about to catch a beat down with that mouth piece,” she said, switching the subject. I dropped it and we headed out the mall. I was hungry as hell, so I made a stop to Wal-Mart, so I could get something to cook. I was over eating take out every night.

“Best friend, I’m happy you’re having me a baby!” she told me as soon as we walked into my house.

“Yeah, I guess.” I hadn’t completely warmed up to the idea of me being pregnant just yet.

“Don’t look like that, you know Without a doubt, I’ll be back though!” she said, kissing my cheek.

“Ok, I love you, and you better not say shit or I will cut you off!” I yelled over my shoulder, threatening her.

“Ok ok! I promise! Love you back! Text me!” she said before I heard the door closing. Once again, it was me all by myself. I hated being alone, but I needed this to get my mind right. I went and laid down before getting up to cook. This baby had me tired as hell. I got out of my bed and lifted my shirt, envisioning how I would look in six months. I smiled at myself in the mirror.

“Things may not be right, right now. But mommy is going to get it together just for you, Blessing,” I told my child, rubbing my almost nonexistent belly. I got back in my bed, then started thinking of my daddy. I felt myself slipping back into depression and I said a light prayer for my sanity tomorrow at his funeral. Before I knew it, I was out like a light.