You Are a Medium: Discover Your Natural Abilities to Communicate With the Other Side (24 page)

this was a large farm.

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“When I way young we would visit the farm. My grandparents

lived there. They loved to tell stories of the glory days when the

family owned acres and acres of property and was quite wealthy.”

Andrew tells me.

“Your mother is showing me a plaque of some kind. It is hang-

ing in what looks like a kitchen. Actually there is more than one,

they looked like framed papers. Do you know what she is trying to

show me?” I look to Andrew. His eyes are wide open and he seems

hesitant.

“I think that she may be showing you the certificates of owner-

ship that were hanging on the wall of this farm house. Until the

place sold no one would take them down. They were slave papers.

These are the people that my ancestors owned.” Andrew tells me

in a quiet voice. “My mother, father, all of the family, was racist.

They never really accepted the north winning the war. Their lives

changed so much. They never got over it and accepted African

Americans as equals. It was very sad.”

“There is something more to this.” I tell Andrew. “Your mother

is again showing me her hospital room. I don’t know why, but she

is laughing again.”

Andrew does not look surprised. “I know what she is talking

about. But, I wonder if she recalls what happened. Do people who

have Alzheimer’s remember what they did when they are on the

other side?” He asks me.

“Some do.” I tell him. “If it is important they will recall it. Whatever happened, your mother seems to want to talk about it. It seems to have something to do with a boyfriend. I keep hearing that from

your mother. I think that he may have been a black man. Does this

make sense?” I ask him.

Now, Andrew is laughing and shares more with me. “I went

to visit my mother every Saturday morning. She could appear to

be fully cognizant but she would slip into confusion very quickly.

Close to lunch time one morning, she shooed me out of the room.

Alzheimer's, Dementia, Coma's—Repeating Life Lessons ~ 161

I didn’t know why. This continued for several more weeks. She

would abruptly tell me to go home around lunch time. I started

to wonder what was going on. So, one Saturday I told her that I

wouldn’t leave until she told me why. Without pausing she told me

that her boyfriend was coming to visit and she didn’t want me to

get in the way. I was surprised but happy to know that she had male company. This went on for a few more weeks. Finally, I asked one

of the nurses about her male friend. She looked at me perplexed

and told me that that she was not aware that she had any male

visitors. The next week when I went to visit I left before lunch as usual. But I waited outside of her room. In a few minutes a young

black male nurse came and brought my mother her lunch tray. He

seemed kind to my mother but he clearly was not flirting or inter-

ested in her. On the other hand, my mother seemed beside herself

with giddiness. She was smiling and flirting with him. I couldn’t

believe it. Here my mother in her late eighties a racist all of her life, believed this young black man to be her boyfriend.”

“Your mother is smiling. I get the impression from her that this

flirtation was a bright spot in her last months here.” I share with Andrew.

“It seemed to be.” He said. “I continued to visit her once a week,

until she passed over. I always left before lunch, so that she could enjoy her “boyfriend” visit. I never said anything to her or to anyone. It was a pleasure to see her open her heart and feel, even if it was not returned or even acknowledged. For so long her heart had

been closed. She was cold and distant, especially to anyone who was not wealthy and white. This was a true blessing. I wanted to protect her and allow her to feel as much love as possible before she went

over.”

“Your mother wants you to know that this changed her. She

thanks you for being there for her in this special way. Your non-

judgmental support has taught her a lot.” I tell Andrew. “I get the
162 ~ Alzheimer's, Dementia, Coma's—Repeating Life Lessons
impression from her that you are still teaching her. She is with you more than you might think, continuing to experience how to love.”

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We continued with the session. Andrew’s mother shared other

memories and insights since passing over. His father and grand-

parents also came in. But, no other message during our session was

as delightful as the image of LeLe swooning over what she believed

to be a charming male suitor. I believe that her attraction to him

was more than simply the confused mental state of Alzheimer’s.

Her soul took the opportunity to teach her an important lesson.

Despite an entire life spent in hate toward those of another race,

her heart opened. In a childlike way she experienced the innocence

of love for loves sake, a lesson that furthers her soul’s evolutionary agenda.

Shared Soul Lessons

Alzheimer’s, dementia, unresponsive states like comas and condi-

tions and other mental disabilities are shared soul lessons. Those

who live and care for people with these conditions are also being

offered an important earth school lesson. Family and friends who

care for the disabled and professional care givers are practicing the lesson of selflessness, compassion and unconditional love. Caring

for a loved one who is suffering from conditions that leave them

unable to care for themselves can be demanding. It can test our pa-

tience, drain our bank accounts, strain our relationships and even

put our jobs at risk. Despite our love for another, when we have full responsibility in every area of their life we can feel overwhelmed.

Although it may be of little comfort while in the midst of this challenge, know that your soul is making great strides in experiencing

the full scope of love.

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Just as caring for another can test our compassion, allowing

others to care for us can also be difficult. When we are mentally,

emotionally and/or physically incapacitated, we are vulnerable,

dependent and at the mercy of others. An extreme state of de-

pendency can be the ultimate test of our trust in others and the

universe as there is little that we can do to assure that our needs will be met. Few people would willingly choose this degree of helpless-ness.

Our soul always seeks evolution and wholeness. Even though it

is not readily apparent, when an individual experiences an extreme

degree of reliance on others their soul has voluntarily made this

choice. We need one another. In the physical realm we can become

so self-sufficient that we close our hearts and attempt to control

every aspect of our lives. Dependence forces us to learn how to be

humble and accept the kindness and love of others. Whole hearted

giving to those in need and receiving the love and care of others

when we most need it, moves us out of our egocentric emphasis

and into the depths of authentic love.

Letting Go

One of the most challenging tests of love is our ability to let go. In the physical realm we think of love as being close to one another,

holding hands, talking, looking into one another’s eyes, sharing activities and cuddling. The call to experience a higher form of love often comes in the most difficult of ways.

Donna came to see me on a cold morning in February. I could

tell from the look in her eyes that she was nervous and tired. As I began the session, I felt the almost overwhelming grief that surrounded her. Like a thick blanket, feelings of loss and sadness

weighed heavy on her. Above Donna’s head the light of an angel

suddenly appeared.

“Your guardian angel has a message for you.” I began. “She

opens her arms and wants you to know that you can release your

164 ~ Alzheimer's, Dementia, Coma's—Repeating Life Lessons
sadness to her. Just ask that she take it from you. She is with you, sending love and compassion.”

Donna looked straight ahead and showed no visible emotion.

“There are three people in spirit who just came in.” I continue.

“Two men and a woman, it feels like a grandmother and grand-

father. The other man … he is tall with short curly hair … is your

husband or partner in spirit?”

Still not making eye contact with me, Donna shakes her head

yes and wipes tears from her eyes.

“I feel a lot of love coming from him to you. He wants me to tell

you that he finally woke up. I am seeing an image of a hospital bed.

Does this make sense?”

Reluctant to speak, Donna again shakes her head yes and si-

lently cries.

“Your husband is showing me the hospital bed again. You are

sitting close to him. I get the impression that he could not speak to you. He wants you to know that he knew that you were there. He

shows me an image of you as a warm bright light. He felt your pain

and stress. I feel that he did not want to leave you and hung on as long as possible.” I share with Donna.

This seems to stir up more of a reaction with her.

“Ray was in a coma for several weeks. There was an accident

at his work. He was in apartment building construction and large

beam fell on him. It left him unconscious. He never woke up.”

“Ask him why?” Donna pleads with me. “Why didn’t he wake

up? The doctors thought he might. But, he never did.”

Donna’s husband Ray is ready to respond to her question. “Your

husband wants you to know that he tried. He shows me his spirit

hovering over his body. He tried to re-enter it. He wouldn’t let go.

Your husband did not have a choice.” I tell her. “He tried as hard as he could to stay in the physical realm. I can feel and see his struggle. He was drawn into the light. Its force kept pulling and pulling
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him. I see angelic spirits and others close to him, coaxing him to go over.”

I know that this is difficult for Donna to hear. Yet, I know that I have to communicate as best I can what I receive. I see a tear running down her cheek. She appeals to me. “I prayed and prayed for

him to heal. I asked God to open his eyes and let me talk to him,

even if it was to simply say goodbye.”

As Donna is sharing this, Ray is communicating with me. “Your

husband is showing me an image of you sitting near his bed. He

was very close and listening to you and sending you love. He felt

what you were feeling. I also feel as if your father was close. I see him sitting with you and holding your hand.” I tell Donna.

“I felt him too.” She excitedly shares with me. “I thought it was

him. I asked him for help. He has been gone for several years. I miss him.”

“Donna, at some point,” I ask her. “Did you accept that Ray was

going to die? I ask you this because he is thanking you for letting him go. He says that it helped. Without your blessing he may have

been caught between the realms in limbo indefinitely.”

With a surprised look on her face, Donna explains. “One night

as I sat in his hospital room I dozed off to sleep. I had a very real dream where I was talking to Ray. I was begging him to please come

back. All of a sudden I saw a bright light come close. I felt over-

whelming love and comfort. I looked around me and I was in a

field of flowers. It was warm and I wanted to stay here for as long as possible. I felt as if I left the sadness and grief behind and I did not want to go back to it. Then just as suddenly I was back. I woke up and I realized that this is where my husband was going. I could

not deny him this. I told God that he could have Ray. Go with my

love I told him. The next morning, after a few family members had

visited, he quietly died.”

166 ~ Alzheimer's, Dementia, Coma's—Repeating Life Lessons

“Your husband knows how difficult it was for you to let go. He

felt it as love.” I assure her. “Your angels do too. It was an act of selfless love.”

Donna looks calmer. “Tell Ray that I miss him every day. I am

glad to know that I helped him. But, I still would have him back if I could.”

“I am getting an image of a sliding glass doors and a deck. Do

you sit outside in the morning?

I am also seeing a little garden with a bird bath. Is this your

home?”

“That describes my backyard.” Donna shares with me.

“Ray is there with you. He is in the garden. I feel like you can

feel his spirit here. I get the image of something in or about the garden. It looks like an angel. Ray is thanking you for this.” I assure her.

Donna smiles for the first time and asks me. “Does he know that

I planted the garden for him? I placed a small iron angel in the center of it. He loved the outdoors.”

“Maybe the garden is a little piece of the field of flowers on the

other side that you experienced in your dream.” I tell her. “You can meet him here, in this place of love”

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Ray and Donna continued sharing for several more minutes.

After which her father and a grandmother came in to express their

love and offer comfort and guidance.

This session is a good example of a shared earth school lesson

for both Donna and Ray. It tested and challenged their love for one another and illustrates the self-less love that we are asked to embody and express in this world.