You are a Badass (21 page)

Blasting through this comfort zone is what I want to talk about here. Purchasing the Audi should have had me waking up screaming in the middle of the night because it cost the kind of money I would normally only consider spending on something like mandatory heart surgery, certainly not on something as frivolous as a car. But after I bought it I slept like a baby. Because once I made the decision to buy it, I also made the decision to get over my shit and become the kind of person who can make the kind of money to buy that kind of car or who can do anything else I want to do.

I almost instantly came up with a way to pay off the Audi and am certain that if I’d bought the Honda, I’d still be struggling to pay for it. Because I’d still be playing small, I’d still be in the mindset that I can’t afford more, that I’m the kind of person who has to struggle to get whatever she can, that I can’t break out of my mold and go get something completely “out of my reach,” etc.

When you up-level your idea of what’s possible, and decide to really go for it, you open yourself up to the means to accomplish it as well.

I’m not talking about going out and recklessly blowing all your money on stupid crap. I’m talking about
expanding your beliefs about what is available to you in all areas of your life
. And for the purposes of this chapter, I’m going to focus on what kind of money you believe is here for you to purchase the things and experiences you truly desire.

Whether or not the money is currently in your bank account is irrelevant (I didn’t have the money either when I bought my new car). When you’re available to play a bigger game, i.e. quit your ho-hum job and invest in your own business, buy a house, send your kids to private schools, hire a coach, hire a housecleaner, buy a new mattress, etc., you either need to pay for it with the money you have, or manifest the money if you don’t have it already. And manifesting it is going to be pretty damn hard if you insist that not only is it not there for you, but that you aren’t the kind of person who could ever make it or pay it off if you borrowed it.

In order to transform your life, you may have to spend the money you do have, get a loan, sell something, borrow from a friend, put it on your credit card, or manifest it in some other way. Which is going to go against some pretty deep-seated beliefs we’ve all been raised with about how going into debt is irresponsible (unless it’s a student loan, of course, because for some reason we’ve decided in that case, and that case only, it’s okay). This is about taking a leap of faith into a new realm
that you strongly desire to be in
, demanding of yourself that you rise to the occasion and start living your damn life already.

After I took my great leap into Luxury Carland, I made multiple six-figures with my business for the first time ever, began traveling the world on a regular basis, got my third book deal, made huge donations (for me) to causes I’m really passionate about, and helped my clients achieve similar personal bests, too.

Here’s the thing: Making money isn’t only about the money, just as losing weight isn’t only about losing weight and finding your soul
mate isn’t only about finding your soul mate. It’s about who you become and what you believe is possible for yourself.

Money is currency and currency is energy.

As we’ve discussed, we live in a Universe that is vibrating with energy. Our Universe is abundant, and everything you desire is here, in this moment, waiting for you to shift your perception and your energy and receive it. Money included.

Money is energy like anything else, and when you’re operating at a high frequency with no resistance to it, and take right action, you can manifest the money you desire. We all know that we have to work to make money, we’ve been taught that all our lives, but what we’re not taught is that we must also align our energy with the financial abundance we seek. In other words, act as if you’re where you want to be, don’t hang out with sad sacks and people who whine about how broke they are all the time, erase the words “I can’t” from your vocabulary, envision what you desire, set goals, demand of yourself that you become who you need to become to create the life you desire. Our relationship to money is just as important as the action we take to manifest it, which is one reason why so many people who work their asses off their whole lives, but who have lousy energy around money, are left wondering why they have nothing to show for it.

Here’s a little one-sided dialogue that may or may not sound familiar to you:

Yay! I think you’re fun to hang out with too! Wait, what? You think I’m the root of all evil? How can you say that? All you talk about is how you wish you had more of me. Even though you’re scared to admit you like me. And you say I’m not there for you. And you think people who like me are greedy pigs. Yet you get so ecstatic whenever I show up. And you work so hard to get me to come over. But I keep you in a constant state of worry. And you hate dealing with me. And no matter what I do, it’s never enough. One minute you act like you’ll die without me, and the next I make you feel like a filthy whore. You know what? I’m done. See you later, freak.

Considering that this, or some version of this, is the sort of relationship most people have with money, I don’t think the question is: “Why can’t we make the kind of money we want?” I think the better question is: “How the hell do we expect to?” Most people have such conflicted feelings around money that they turn it into a full-on circus, rivaled only by the equally popular freak shows surrounding religion and sex. All three are crammed to the brim with issues and anxieties and staunch, fight-to-the-death beliefs that cause them to bring so much sadness to the world. Meanwhile, if everyone would just chill out, sex, money, and religion could be the leading causes of joy.

Silly, ain’t we?

In order to bring money joyfully into our lives, we have to understand that we’re having a relationship with it, and then treat it like any other important and meaningful relationship: we need to pay attention to it, want it, nurture it, put effort into it, respect it, cherish it, love it, etc.

Ridding yourself of your fear and loathing of money, be it conscious or subconscious, is essential if you want to make any. I was extremely poverty-proud for so long, I felt I was so much nobler in my pursuit of art and fun and altruism than those people who wasted their lives just going after money. No way in hell was I going to sacrifice my awesome life just to chase the filthy dollar! No, instead I was going to choose between having health insurance or a place to live. I was going to spend precious time (that I could have spent, uh, making money) driving an extra thirty blocks to the gas station where I could save three cents a gallon, sifting through piles of clothes in search of the gems at Goodwill, clipping coupons, hunting down sales, researching which bars had free food at happy hour, productive things like that. In my quest to make money an inconsequential part of my life, I was
basically thinking about it more than anyone who actually had money ever thought about it.

What I didn’t realize was that it’s not an either/or situation. I could make great money and keep my integrity and have more fun and make more art and help more people and make a bigger difference in the world.

Oh.

I just had to get over myself. I had to stop working with the equation that wanting/having money = greedy scumbag. And I had to get a freakin’ plan.

FIRST RULE OF WEALTH CONSCIOUSNESS: COME FROM A PLACE OF ABUNDANCE, NOT LACK

When we say we want money for something, we often come from a place of “I don’t have it, it does not exist, so I need to create it.” This has us focusing on, and believing in, lack, thereby lowering our frequency and attracting more lack.

When we say, “I am manifesting five grand to go on a trip to Italy you just watch me,” our faith in the yet unseen is strong and our frequency is high. Thus, so is our ability to attract money. This is why buying the car worked so well for me—it forced me to face my fears and strengthen my faith because I bought it
before
I had proof that the money was there.
I don’t see the money, but I believe it’s there and it will be mine dammit!

This abundance is available to everyone, including you, regardless of what your life looks like at this very moment. Some people are born into cushy lives full of trust funds and connections and opportunities and fancy educations; some of these people go on to make great
financial successes of their lives and some of these people don’t. Some people are born into extreme poverty and live in cardboard box houses by the side of a freeway; some of these people go on to make great financial successes of their lives and some of these people don’t.

While their obstacles and initial childhood impressions about money can be extremely different, those who achieve success share one key thing: the belief that they can be, do, and have whatever they set their minds to accomplishing.

Your beliefs hold the key to your financial success.

Believe that you can have what you desire, that it really truly already exists, and then go out and get it. Once you understand that we live in an abundant Universe, you can also drop the limiting belief that you serve the world better by not taking too much for yourself or by getting too big. Your playing small simply withholds your gifts from the people who were meant to receive them, including you. Can you imagine if your favorite musicians never let themselves make enough money to buy guitars or take lessons or hire producers or buy purple platform boots and tight sparkly pants or pay thousands of dollars for studio time so they could record the songs that saved your ass in high school? Or if the people who build airplanes refused to make the money they need to pay for the research and the materials and the factories and the engineers and the electricity and whatever plethora of other costly things that go into building the miraculous flying machines that allow us to travel the world, hang out on tropical beaches, and visit the people we love so dearly?

The more you have, the more you have to share.

There’s plenty of money to go around; you not letting yourself make it doesn’t save more for other people just as you making it doesn’t take it away from them. The only reason you should feel gross about accepting money for a product or service is if you’re scamming someone (not doing or giving them what you said you would) or if you’re causing harm in some other way. It’s all about contributing to the world by making life easier, happier, safer, healthier, better, tastier, more beautiful, more fun, more interesting, more thoughtful, more loving—whatever you do, bring something good to the party. If you’re coming from a place of integrity, any icky feelings you have about not deserving the wealth you desire are a waste of time. Just as any icky feelings you have about money itself are a waste of time. Greedy people do greedy things for money, so don’t go getting all up in money’s face and blame it for their lousy behavior.

Here’s a brilliant little spanking in this department from author/speaker, Marianne Williamson, that I recently heard in a talk she gave:

“Having money is like anything else; a tool. And if you see it that way, making it not just about you, but about a way that you can play a part in the dynamic by which money is used for the betterment of all things, then having money is not only a blessing, it’s a responsibility.”

Having money is a responsibility!
Let your inner money critic chew on
that
one for a while.

SECOND RULE OF WEALTH CONSCIOUSNESS: GET CLEAR ON WHERE YOU’RE AT

Write a little ditty on how you feel about money. Get clear on all your craziness around it because trust me, if you don’t have any money, you definitely have some crazy. Write something along the lines of:

So the truth is I don’t really trust money. I want lots of it so I can do whatever I want and make big changes in the world, but I don’t believe it will come to me. Or that if it does, it won’t stick around. It never has. I resent needing it. I think people who make it are evil and have bad priorities. I ignore it because I hate dealing with it. I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I made it anyway. If it’s easier, pretend money is a person and write it as if you’re writing a letter to someone. Just get it on the page so you can look at it.

Then break it down, sentence by sentence and expose your drama around money for the award-winning performance that it is. For example, using the paragraph above:

I don’t believe money will come to me
. Has it ever? I guess so. Can you imagine a specific time and a specific amount that came to you that was really helpful and enjoyable?
Yes. I was a graphic designer for five years. I got to work on a lot of really cool projects with great people making good money
. Any other times? Have you had other jobs or monetary gifts or dividends?
Yes
. Can you list off five to ten significant times that money came to you?
Okay
. So if it came to you all these many times, is it possible that it could come to you again?
Yeah
. Can you change your belief from, “Money doesn’t come to me” to, “Money does come to me?”
Fine. Yes I can.

Now that you see the truth, focus on money coming to you, imagine receiving all the money you need, visualize how you’ll spend it and
feel
it in your bones. Change your story from “Money doesn’t come to me,” to “Money comes to me all the time.” Make this an affirmation that you walk around saying in your mind and out loud, that you write
down, read over and over, and tape to your bathroom mirror, etc. Drill it into your brain and your bones.

Another example:

I resent needing it
. How come?
Because I never have enough to do what I want
. Is this true? Have you never had enough money to do what you want?
Well, there have been some times where I’ve had the money
. So is it true that you never have enough money to do what you want?
No
. And when you have the money you need to do what you want, do you resent needing it?
Not really
. How does it feel when you have it and you spend it on something you’re really excited about buying for you or someone else?
Pretty cool actually
. So is it true you resent needing it?
No.