Yiddishe Mamas

Other Books by Marnie Winston-Macauley

He Says/She Says

Manspeak: What He Says … What He Really Means

Men We Love to Hate: The Book

The Ultimate Answering Machine Message Book

The Ultimate Sex, Love and Romance Quiz Book 1

The Ultimate Sex, Love and Romance Quiz Book 2

A Little Joy, A Little Oy

W
hen my editor, Patty Rice, and I first discussed doing a book on the Jewish mother we never imagined that what would start as a relatively simple assignment (some facts, anecdotes, interviews, and humor) would grow—and grow—and continue to grow, into a far more complex and inclusive book.

Since writing
A Little Joy, A Little Oy
in 2002, plus calendars of the same name and the
Yiddishe Mamas 2007 Calendar,
I’ve gathered and stored thousands of facts—many from scholarly sources. There were, however, deep-felt meanings and sensibilities that wouldn’t lend themselves to a calendar format.

When I began the interviews for this book, I realized immediately that there were issues of great significance that needed to be addressed.

I asked several basic questions: Is there such a thing as a “Jewish mother?” If so, what are our characteristics and how are these similar and different from all mothers? And what was it that spun our image from adored sentimentality—to neurotic interlopers?

I found vast differences of opinions among those I spoke with about roles, assimilation, and media representations. Suddenly, the “simple” forced me to look deeper and further.

In reading books about or for Jewish mothers, I realized that most, if not all, were bios, interviews, or subject-driven collections about food, humor, language, and, of course, religion.

However, I failed to find books that bridged themes, via using multiple approaches to understanding the Jewish mother—a book that includes interviews, facts, humor, and anecdotes among other things. So, I decided to write one. This approach has been a daunting and risky venture; a journey into areas that have already been deeply explored by mavens.

On the positive side, I hoped that by viewing the Jewish mother from many angles, the material will, when taken together, prove an insightful
portrait
of the Jewish mother.

It also intended to shed more light on scholarly material, in a readable, informative, and entertaining manner.

Although there are women who have contributed mightily to their communities and the world, they are not included since this book is about Jewish
mothers,
and tha!t’s where I stayed. All the women discussed are or were mothers, by giving birth or through raising children. As I defined the term, they were born into Jewish families, converted, or, if one parent was Jewish, have identified themselves as Jewish and raised Jewish children. I also included women and men who have no children, but had something important to contribute about Jewish mothers—their own and others.

There is also a special section on how
non-Jewish
women view Jewish mothers, since we may tend to be isolated within our own thinking. The results were surprising. The material chosen is not exhaustive, but
representative.
The focus is on the Jewish mother of Ashkenazi (or Eastern European) descent, as they comprise the vast majority of Jews in America and in the world.

Scores of interviews were conducted over a period of several years. The complete list is included in the Bibliography section, along with selected short biographies.

Here are a few who contributed:

Dr. Ruth Gruber, Dr. Carolyn Goodman, Dr. Myrna Hant, Dr. Eileen Warshaw, Rabbi Sally Priesand, Rabbi Bonnie Koppel, Rabbi Shira Stern, Blu Greenberg, Lainie Kazan, Judy Gold, Tim Boxer, Jackie Mason, Theodore Bikel, Mallory Lewis, Bill Dana, Mayor Oscar Goodman, Congresswoman Shelley Berkley, Tovah Feldshuh, Marilyn Michaels, Joanna Gleason, Michael Medved, Marta Sanders, Eileen Fulton, Amy Borkowsky, John Stossel, Binyamin Jolkovsky, Harry Leichter, Liz Abzug, Zora Essman (mother of Susie Essman), Melanie Strug (mother of Kelli Strug), Kaye Ballard, Marty Allen, Mrs. Danny Gans, Julie Cobb, Rabbi Yocheved Mintz, Rabbi Bob Alper.

T
he job of putting together such an ambitious project was not merely daunting (OK, moderately meshugge), but absolutely required the serious help of many people. (Unfortunately, none typed. Oy.) Without the generous time of those I interviewed, I’d be quoting myself, so to all who gave me that time, I’m deeply grateful.