Authors: Margaret McHeyzer
“Good, boy,” she says as she leans down and rewards me with a searing kiss.
The kiss is magnetic and engaging, her tongue ploughs into my mouth and I simply accept her. She licks my tongue and runs it the length of my teeth. I go to move forward to take more of her in, but Master steps away not allowing me to get that comfort.
Master walks away from me, and comes back a few seconds later with a chair from the kitchen. She positions it behind me then moves with stealth and agility to be facing me.
“Carefully stand up and sit on the chair.”
I sit on the chair and downcast my eyes, waiting for her directions.
“Lace your fingers behind you, boy.” Damn she says that word again and this time I can feel my arms goose bump as my entire being tries to protest it.
Holding my hands behind me, Stella produces rope and artfully bounds my wrists together.
A small panic sweeps over me as she skilfully confines me from wrist to elbow, essentially preventing movement from my arms.
“Place your heels against the front of the chair legs.”
I do as I’m told, and with more rope she ties me to the chair. Like this I’m totally restrained and unable to do anything other than accept whatever my Master wants to do to me.
She goes to a bag that she has and takes a cane in her hands.
“Now, we’re going to talk and you will remain respectful to me. I’m your Domme and you will refer to me as Master, however you’re free to say what you like. Do you understand?”
She’s going to push me past my limits and make me tell her what’s going on with the soul sucking parasite that resides within.
“Yes, Master.”
“This is a Singapore Stick and I use it to punish. If you answer me with lies, then you’ll be reprimanded. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Master.”
I don’t want any more pain in my life. I want to be freed from my past and I just want to live.
“No lies, ever. Tell me when it first started.”
“I was ten years old, Master.”
“How long did it go on for?”
“For three years, Master.”
“Who is Damien to you?”
My eyes begin to blur from the water I’m holding back.
“My mom’s brother, Master.”
“So he’s you’re uncle?”
“Yes, Master.”
She takes a few steps toward me and runs her hand down my cheek. I close my eyes and accept her touch as I exhale a freeing breath.
“Good, boy, I’m so very pleased with my toy. Look at me,” she says.
I meet her eyes and she smiles down at me with pride and acceptance.
“You don’t have to tell me in detail what exactly happen, but I need to know how bad it got. Were sex toys used on you?”
“Yes, Master.”
“Vibrators?”
“Yes, Master.”
“Butt plugs?”
“Yes, Master.”
“Anal beads?”
“No, Master.”
“Prostate stimulators?”
Fuck, she knows a lot. I just hope she stops asking questions soon.
“No, Master.”
“Handcuffs?”
“Yes, Master.”
“Rope?”
“No, Master.”
“Were you shared?”
Fuck.
“Yellow, Master,” I whimper as she asks.
Master leans down in front of me so we’re both on the same level and with her pointer finger she tilts my head up so we’re looking at each other.
“I need to know so I can help break those poisonous chains. There’s nothing that you can say that will change how I feel about you. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Master,” I say as I let my mind accept my Masters words. She wants to support and aid me in my recovery.
Someone wants to help me.
She straightens and goes back to where she was standing holding the cane.
“Color?”
With a few deep breaths, I’m finally able to continue. “Green, Master.”
“Good, boy. Were you shared?”
“Yes, Master.”
“We’re you filmed?”
I slump my shoulders in embarrassment and humiliation.
“Yes, Master,” I say in the smallest of voices.
“Look at me, boy.”
I raise my eyes and my Master’s standing tall beside me.
“Don’t be ashamed of what was done to you. Those people deserve the fires of hell to be bought upon them, not you. You were just a child.”
I was just a child.
My head falls and my chin rests idly on my chest.
I was nothing more than a mere ten year old child.
“Is he still alive?”
I nod, not sure my voice is loud enough to be heard.
I was just a child.
“Did you ever tell anyone?”
“I… when I was…” My body begins to tremble and my heart starting to race as my head clouds with fear and uncertainty.
“Look at me and don’t hide away.”
I blink when I look up at Master.
“When we’re together no one else exists. It’s just you and I. There’s no judgment and there’s no wrong. What we have is just for us.”
Her presence alleviates the hurt and Master’s words cool the anger and the shame that resides within every molecule of my body.
“You and I together, no one can take that away. Do you understand that?”
“Yes I do, Master.”
“Did you ever tell anyone?”
“I would go off in a different headspace when he did really bad things to me, and I’d talk to my dad. But no, I was too scared to say anything because he told me he’d kill my mom.”
“And as a child you had no reason not to believe him. Is that right?”
“He had a little white fluffy dog that he kept on a leash out the back,” I start saying as I begin to relax into the chair. “He had that little dog for years and always kept him outside in the open, regardless of the elements. One time I said I was going to tell mom unless he stopped asking her to take me out, and he went outside and got the dog. When he came back in, he made me hold the dog as he shallow stabbed him until he bled out while he was in my arms. He made me smear the dogs blood all over my face then perform fellatio on him as I held the dead dog. He told me he’d do the same thing to my mom.”
“What happened after that?”
“I never fought him again. I just cried and I’d leave and travel to another realm when it got bad, Master.”
“How often did the abuse occur?”
“It started out only once a month to every six weeks, but he became more brazen in what he did to me. He called one friend that liked boys too and they played with me like I was nothing more than a rag doll. After that, the abuse became more frequent. He’d look at me and I knew by the sneer just how bad it would be for me that night, Master.”
“What made him stop?”
“He told me he wasn’t gay and I had started to look like a man. He told me when I was thirteen that I had too much hair and he could no longer shave me without it catching someone’s attention,” I freely described how easily he discarded me.
“When did you enlist in the army?”
“My mother enlisted me, Master. She couldn’t stand the way I was, she thought I was acting up because dad had died. She didn’t know about
him
and what he did. So at sixteen she had me enlisted, all with her consent. It was the best thing she could’ve done for me, and for herself, Master.”
“How often do you talk to your mother?”
“Once a month, Master.”
“Tell me what would you have done differently if you could?”
Without hesitation I answer as honestly as I can, “I would’ve killed him the day before I turned sixteen, Master.”
“You’ve made your Master very proud. I’ve not needed to use the cane at all. You’ve pleased me, boy.”
I look at her and smile. Master is pleased with me which makes me honored that she’s picked me to be one of her subs.
“Ryan.”
My head snaps in the direction of her voice and I’m now no longer Stella’s toy.
She’s undoing my ties around my ankles and then moves around the back to do the bound around my wrist.
“Let’s go have a shower, Ryan. What you bared to me must have been draining and difficult to admit.”
I feel so liberated that I’m able to share that burden. A giant weight’s been lifted off my shoulders and I suddenly feel completely clear and uncluttered.
My demons have been silenced and they aren’t screaming at me any longer. I’m not sure how long this affect is going to last, but for now I feel so alive.
Stella follows me into the bathroom and as I set the water on warm, she takes off her clothes.
“What are you doing?”
“Part of the role of being your Domme is the aftercare. And I’m going to wash you and care for you.”
“But I feel better than I have since I can remember.”
“Until the shock hits, and when it does I’ll be by your side to help.”
I step down into the shower and Stella follows.
It’s the first time I’ve seen Stella with no clothes and she’s breathtakingly beautiful.
Her luscious long neck joins her gorgeous smooth shoulders, which cascade down to her breasts that are so delicious. They sit a little low and are bigger than I would normally go for, but they’re simply perfect for her,
and for me
.
My eyes travel down further and her pussy has a small strip of blonde hair down the middle, but her lips are free of hair and all I want to do is dive in and let my mouth and tongue enjoy her.
“Stella, it’s going to be difficult for me not to touch you.”
I take a step closer to her and grab onto her fleshy hips, the heat that transfers onto my hands sends small currents through my body. She steps into me and her breasts rub against my torso.
Stella kisses my chest and she trails her tongue to my left nipple and swirls it around gently teasing me as she sucks and nips.
“With your body pressing up against mine, you feel so good.”
“Ryan,” she sighs against my chest.
My hands slowly move from her hips to feel her pert ass. Fuck, her cheeks fit like a glove in my hands and I squeeze them with force.
“We can’t do this,” Stella mumbles as she takes a small step back breaking her contact with me.
“Why not? After the last few days I’ve had I just need to forget, and I’d really like to forget all that crap with my cock fully inside you.”
“I know, and believe me when I tell you that I want you so much, too. But I don’t want to help you forget, I need to help you remember so we can both learn how to manage.”
She wants me, too. Stella wants me the way I want her and she’s going to stay.
But I need to know how to combat my triggers and my mind for when those dark and weighted demons return.
“Put your arms on either side of the wall, I’m going to wash your body,” Stella commands in her Master’s voice.
I do as I’m asked and close my eyes as I anticipate her heavenly touch.
She brings her hands up to start washing my torso and I let a huge expulsion of air out of my lungs, I didn’t even realize I was holding it in.
I concentrate on her hands as they slowly rub circular motions all over my body. When she gets to my thighs, my chest rumbles and lets out a low deep moan.
The way her hands are caressing and grazing over my body with the lightest of touches is sending my own feelings of lust into overdrive.
“Hmmm,” I moan again as her fingertips brush against my cock.
“I know, Babe,” Stella says as she captures my mouth in hers. She nips on my top lip but her tongue doesn’t come out to greet mine.
This kiss is different to all the others she’s given me.
This one simple act conveys volumes without saying a single fucking word. Stella and I both feel the same thing. I know that I’m more than just her submissive and she’s more than just my Domme.
“You found me when I was lost,” I murmur against her lips.
“Together, we’ll find your way.”
No lies, ever.
Chapter 20
I sit up in bed and my body’s burning and shaking with fearful adrenalin.
I can’t remember the nightmare just parts of it. I’m running toward Lucy but my feet aren’t moving and I can’t get to her. I couldn’t see her in my nightmare but she was screaming something for me and I didn’t know what it was, I just knew I had to get to her.
I rake my hands through my hair and can feel the damp of the sweat clinging to my short strands.
That must’ve been one fucked up dream, the last time I had one like that I started having an anxiety attack and destroyed my room.
That was also the night that I willingly wanted to suck Mason’s cock and have him come in my mouth, but
he
stopped it by forcing himself into my thoughts.
He
made it dirty and wrong when all I wanted to do was try and be with Mason.
“Are you alright?” Stella says as she sits up in bed next to me.
“Just a nightmare, I’m okay. You can go back to sleep.” I lean over and kiss her sexy full lips.
“What was it about?” She moves and sits on my lap as she brings her arms around my back and starts rubbing her hands up and down in a hypnotic caressing way.
“God, that feels so good,” I whisper as I bring her body flush against my bare chest.
“Talk to me, Ryan. Tell me what happened in your nightmare.”
My mind begins to loosen as her touch lulls me into a positive state of confidence and security.
“Um.” I’m finding it difficult to speak as her hands gently stroke my tired muscles. “I dreamt that Lucy needed me, and I couldn’t get to her,” I start as Stella moves her covered pussy to sit over my cock. I’m getting quite hard knowing that there’re only two layers of clothes separating my cock, and the warmth and wet of Stella’s core.
“Was there anything else?” Stella begins trailing her nose across my jaw line following it down the column of my throat approaching my shoulder.
I can’t think. What did she say?
I tilt my head to the side as she skims her nose down to my collar bone. Oh god, she’s not even put her mouth on me and I’m desperate to feel her wet tongue lap at my inflamed skin.
Suddenly, she bites my at my Adam’s apple, hard, then moves her mouth over it to kiss and suck where she bit me.