Writing Active Setting Book 1: Characterization and Sensory Detail (5 page)

Rewrite
:

*
A
blue trac
t
home in a 50s suburb.

*
A copycat row of brick trac
t
bungalows built for the coal
miners, some faded red, others painted blue.

*
Little wooden box trac
t
houses built for single mill workers or families who couldn’t afford more.

Note:
A
few small details can make a huge difference. Don’t think that adding Setting means adding paragraphs of details.

Example
:
Tall evergreens

Another example of too little information or too vague
that
does not give the reader a strong enough image to either see or experience this tree. What is meant by tall? Larger than a child or a second-story house? And since an evergreen tree can technically be any tree that has leaves all year round
,
one reader might imagine a Ponderosa pine while another sees a Blue Spruce and another a
Live Oak
—
very different
-
looking trees.

Rewrite
:

*
The towering live oak dwarfed the one story shack built against its trunk.

[T
he change here gives the reader a clearer idea of the type of tree and its size.]

*
The leaning cypress tree
once
must have stood seventy feet tall or more
,
but now looked like a crooked-back elder at half that height.
[T
he change here gives a specific tree type plus a hint of the tone or feel of the passage.]

*
The broad-leafed
magnolia
once was my height
,
but now arched
taller than my five
-
foot-
seven stretch. [T
he change here added a specific tree plus shows the POV character and a hint of
his or her
back story.]

I
gnoring
Setting
details
or using vague, non-specific details
as a default mode of writing leaves your reader at a distance from your story and that’s what we’re looking at with learning to write
A
ctive
Setting
.
But always
consider
the intention behind why you’re showing Setting at all.

Here’s an example of Setting that does not need too many details
or
words because the Setting is not being used to show information about the POV character or to orient/anchor the reader into a change in the story’s location. The Setting is used to show the reader only one thing:

“
Woods surrounded the clearing in which Merlotte’s stood, and the edges of the parking lot were mostly gravel. Sam kept it well lit, and the surrealistic glare of the high parking lot lights made everything look strange.”

–Dead
Until
Dark – Charlaine Harris

In the above example the author wanted to keep the reader focused o
n the feel, the emotion of the S
etting, and nothing more. Look what would have happened if Harris
had chosen
to overwrite this Setting.

“Piney woods with a few wild magnolia trees surrounded the ninety foot by ninety foot clearing in which Merlotte’s stood, and the edges of the square parking lot were mostly gravel of the light grey variety, clashing with the red of the Georgia soil. Sam kept the lot well lit with at least six vapor
-
arc lights high overhead and a spotlight near the front door of the bar. The surrealistic glare of the high parking lot lights made everything look elongated and warped, like looking into one of those mirrors at carnivals.”

See? All this detail shifts the focus away from the mood of the Setting and can slow the story pacing.

Note
: Be aware of the intention of using Setting details. If the reader needs to know the type of tree, then show it. But if they don’t need that information, if it doesn’t add in some way to your story, then leave it out.

PART
3:
Start creating your own library of books where the author creates the world of the story in enough detail that you as a reader feel you are on scene. Notice particularly how these authors use Setting to show characterization and sensory detail. Look at where and how much Setting detail is used.

Note
:
We’re always aiming for that balance in your story between no Setting or very little, and too much or unnecessary Setting.

RECAP

* A POV character that feels comfortable or at home in
his or her
environment will not see or notice the same details as a character who
feels
threatened or uncomfortable in that same environment.

*
If your POV character is arriving in a place that
hasn’t
been described in depth earlier in your story, the reader will be more open to slowing your story pacing in order to orient
or anchor
the reader as to where the character is
,
but only if the Setting matters in some way in your story.

*
The more narrative in your story, the slower your pacing, so thread your Setting details in judiciously and intentionally.
If the piano in the corner of a room is meant to show the reader the environment of a character then add the piano. But if a couch and tables are described because they happen to be in a living room, and serve no other function, then refrain from allocating words to their description.

*
Be specific in your details versus vague. A Ming vase shows more than a pretty vase.

USING SUBJECTIVE SETTING DETAIL TO REVEAL CHARACTER

One of the ways that
Setting
can work harder in your stories is
by using it to reveal something about the character viewing the Setting.
Instead of stopping story flow to tell the reader Joe is a former Special Forces operative or
that
Fran loves children
,
you show this as you filter what they see through their experiences,
personalities,
backgrounds.

Here’s a generic
Setting
example
:

The street was a block long with three-story buildings on either side. Most of them brick. One
was built
out of concrete. All had steps leading down to the sidewalk. Five trees had been planted along the outer curb and several cars were parked along the street.

Pretty bland and non-descript. The reader sees buildings
,
but not much else. But look what happens when we take our Joe and Fran from above and revisit this
Setting
:

Joe stood on the corner, with the widest viewpoint of the 400-meter long street running e
ast to west. Buildings squatted, all of
uniform height and width,
three-stories on either side.
Most of them brick
,
but one
of
Soviet-grey concrete. Hide sights for a sniper? Possibly, but nothing stood out.
Several areas of
vulnerability
and strength
—
the largest areas of view, but no faces at the window
s or along the rooftops. Good.
Escape route would be dead ahead or behind, unless he could access t
he buildings and use the roof.
No alleys to create choke points, garbage cans that could contain a bomb, or loose items, backpack, boxes that could hide an IED.
The types and number of vehicles were what he expected on a quiet street, except for the big van that could be surveillance, especially with
its
out
-
of
-
state plates and dark tinted windows. The one with leaves from one of the scrawny trees fronting the sidewalk littered on its roof, which meant
it’d been there for a while.

Do you get a clearer image of not only the street
,
but of Joe and his background? The reader experiences the street on a deeper level and
is
right there with Joe, seeing what he’s seeing
,
and learning a lot about him
from how he views the Setting
.

Let’s see how child-loving Fran might see the same street.

The street stretched a block long with the sounds of kids of all ages sho
uting and laughing, noise that zipped
from the three-story buildings on either side. Most
of the apartments were brick
—
t
he old fashioned-kind of brick that screamed genteel families and industrious lives. One building stood out
—
being concrete, as if the people who lived there didn’t care so m
uch about their surroundings.
Steps led down
from each home
to the cracked sidewalk, filled with chalk drawings and hopscotch squares. Five boxwood trees marched along the outer curb, one with a
droopy
Happy Birthday balloon
snagged
in its branches. Several mini-vans and SUVs parked along the street, waiting for the next trip to school or soccer.

So what did you learn about Fran? About what matters in her life? What she wants more of in her world just based on how she subjectively focused on this city block?

Note
: How the Setting is revealed says a lot about the character.

Joe
can’t get away from
threat assessment whereas Fran is focused on
the happy families she sees living there, or the possibilities of happy families
.
The writer needs to be aware that the relationship between the POV character and the
Setting
is what allows the reader to see/experience the story on a deeper level.

It’s important to remember
that place can and should be filtered through a specific character’s emotions, impressions, viewpoint
,
and focus
—
this is how it reveals character and why
it is that what
one character sees
in
a S
etting
can be more important than the S
etting itself. Ignoring the powerf
ul use of characterization and S
etting decreases the subtext of your story and also decreases the immediacy a character feels in your story world. If your POV character simply walks through a Setting with nothing revealed except
that
the character is now at a store, on a street, returning home, you are showing your readers that this Setting doesn’t matter that much to the story. So if it does matter, show it!

Note:
Don’t use Setting simply as window dressing.

R
IGHT INFORMATION/ RIGHT SIGNALS

Don’t
confuse the reader.
They are going to come into your
Setting
with very little context, so they'll be trying to visualize the
who
as well as the
where
and
when
of the location and how it feeds into your story. So you might go back and edit to make sure you're:

*
S
haring the right information and sending the right signals
for that char
a
cter
.
Fran would not think of offensive and defensive positions and Joe would not notice chalk drawings unless they
constituted
a threat.