Writing Active Setting Book 1: Characterization and Sensory Detail (10 page)

Her night vision was extraordinary. “I can’t see a thing.”

“Stop trying to see, English. Listen instead. The night is telling stories all around you. The Rue Berenger lies ahead
….
O
h
…
fifty paces perhaps. The baker on the corner is even now baking bread. One can smell that. Rue Berenger runs east to the bridge, to
Paris
, where men in your profession likely have friends. Or you go uphill to the west, and you will come after a time to
England
, where you have even more friends, beyond doubt.

–The Spymaster’s Lady – Joanna Bourne

Now what if Bourne decided to
use
only a visual
Setting
? The prose would be as dry as someone reciting directions
—
go straight ahead until you reach the bridge and keep going till you reach
Paris
. Ho hum. No scent of bread wafting on the early morning air.

Taste is not often the first sensory detail one latches
onto
when writing
Setting
, but it can be powerful nonetheless. Think of taste like a fine herb used judiciously by a master chef
—
a little can go a lon
g way
.

Here’s an example of sensory detail involving
a tactile description implying taste
among other senses that’s set deep into a novel
and used
to quickly orient the reader to a new location.
The taste, tactile scent is implied by the quality of the air, and what’s in the air that can be tasted on the tongue.

India
—
bleating animals wandering the streets, car horns blaring, dust mingling with masses of people, wrapping one in a blanket both suffocating and irritating. The monsoons had not yet broken the dry heat; an air of expectancy choked human and animal alike.
\

–
Invisible Recruit
–
Mary Buckham

The intention of this
Setting
description was to let the readers know the characters have arrived in
India
, but I did not want to spend a lot of page space describing things or buildings or images. The intenti
on was to anchor the reader in
the fact
that
the characters were now in a totally alien
(
to them
)
environment and to set the emotional feel of that change. How many sensory details did I use? Can you pick out sound
?
T
aste
? (dust)
Feel? (blanket of dust and dry heat)
and smells?
(animals and dust again)
Two sentences and then back to the action of the story
,
but the reader is now
in
India
instead of simply seeing
India
.

When you think of touch in a
Setting
, think of one’s whole body and not just the fingers or the hand. Don
’
t tell the reader that it
’
s ninety degrees in the shade if you can show characters fanning themselves and blotting perspiration from their faces. If your character has grown up in dry heat the first time they travel to a location dripping with humidity their whole body can be gob-smacked with th
e change. Standing on an ocean
beach you could feel warm, moisture-laden breezes or salt-tainted blasts of frigid
, damp air
—
two very different beaches shown simply by touch and feel.

Instead of telling the reader your character was exhausted and crawled into bed can you show
his or her
emotional state by what
he or she
feel
s
? There’s a world of difference between
finally creeping under
the security of a well-loved eiderdown comforter on a cold night and
falling into a creaking bed and yanking
a
scratchy
, flimsy, paper-thin blanket over your shoulders that then exposes your toes to
the freezing
air.

Don’t worry about sensory details in your first draft as you’re juggling choreography, characterization
,
and so much more, but definitely think sensory in your revision process.

W
AYS
TO BRING OUT SENSORY DETAILS

Think in terms of which sensory details a POV character would notice in the particular
Setting
at that particular time.

Note: The smallest sensory detail can evoke a change in the emotional state of a character. We all know this instinctively, but using this simple technique can reap big rewards by deepening the reader’s understanding and empathy for/with the POV character
.

*
Change the time and emotional state of the POV character and you should see a difference in which sensory details are being noticed.

*
Use the sensory details
when you first change a location, open a chapter
,
or to indicate a shift in the emotional state of the POV character. An example might be listening to specific music at the opening of the scene.
What can be soft and relaxing at the beginning of the scene can be lonely and low-energy at the end of the scene.

Texture is so very often overlooked in
Setting
, but can act as a metaphor or quickly orient a reader to the time of day, a change in location
,
or share more information about the
POV
character.

The bottom line is that sensory detail can enhance your
Setting
descriptions and thus the readers
’
experience of your story in so many ways.

A
SSIGNMENT

Using
Sensory Details
t
o Enhance
Setting

PART 1:

Place yourself in
either a
familiar
Setting
or a new one
, but s
omeplace you feel comfort
able closing your eyes. [
N
ote: D
o not do this assignment while driving a vehicle
.]
Now see if you can describe the following:

Sound

Touch/Texture

Smells

Taste

Now use the same
Setting
and place one of your story characters in that
Setting
. What would they see, hear,
feel, smell
,
or
taste differently?

PART 2
:

Use any 2
-
4 sentences of
Setting
y
ou currently have in your WIP
—
o
ne without much sensory detail and preferably one at the opening of a scene or a chapter or in a change of location for the character.

See what sensory details you can add without a
dding a lot more words
.
[
Note
: T
his ma
y require rewriting and replacing
some visual details with other sensory details
.
]
Put yourself in the POV character’s state of mind and look around. What would he
or
she specifically smell, touch, hear
,
or taste? Write an example of each sense, then add to your current scene.
Try for a minimum of
two
additional details, more if you wish.

Do you like the rewrite? Did you discover it added more depth to the story or insights into your character?

Intention: T
o start showing you the power of using sensory details while keeping you aware that if you change the character you’ll change which senses they use or how they relate to the sensory details of a specific Setting.

RECAP

*
Use specific sounds to thread through
descriptive details that can
pull and anchor the reader
onto
the page.

*
As you change your Setting
,
look at opportunities to quickly orient
and anchor
the reader
as
to where the characters are by focusing in on sensory details of that specific Setting
.

*
Change up your sensory details so you are not always using the same senses.

*
By using more sensory details in your Setting description readers can feel themselves
pulled
deeper into a story on a three-dimensional level vs. simply a visual level.

*
Make sure though that your detail is specific to the place and specific to the POV character’s awareness.

WRAP UP

I hope you have learned from the examples and explanation
s
in this book
of
how to use your Setting descriptions in your own work
to
enhance the reader’s experience. If you want more information on how to maximize Active Setting look
for
the next two books in this series
Writing Active Setting: Book 2
:
Setting to Show Emotion, Add Conflict
,
and Show Back Story
;
and in
Writing Active Setting:
Book 3:
Anchoring, Action, as a Character and More
,
coming soon in 2013
.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Barr, Nevada.,
Burn,
Minotaur Books; 1 edition (August 3, 2010)

Bourne, Joanna.,
The Spymaster’s Lady
; Berkley Pub Group (2008)

Buckham, Mary.,
Invisible Recruit
; Silhouette (2006)

Collins, Suzanne.,
The Hunger Games
;
Scholastic Press; Reprint (2010)

Crais, Robert.,
The Watchman
; Simon & Schuster (2007)

Evanovich, Janet.,
Seven Up
;
St. Martin
's Publishers; 1st edition (2002)

Ford, Jamie.,
Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet
; Ballantine Books (2009)

Gardiner,
Meg.
,
China
Lake
; Signet; Reprint (2008)

Gardiner, Meg.,
The Memory Collector
; Dutton Adult (2009)

Gerritsen, Tess.,
Ice Cold
; Ballantine Books; 1 edition (2010)

Gilman, Laura Anne.,
Hard Magic
;
Luna; (2010)

Harris, Charlaine.,
Dead Until Dark
; Ace; Reprint (2010)

Larsson, Stieg.,
The Girl Who Played With Fire
; Vintage; Reissue (2011)

Mosley, Walter.,
Cinnamon Kiss
; Little, Brown and Company (2005)

Parker, T. Jefferson.,
Red Light
; Hyperion; 1st edition (2000)

Pickard, Nancy.,
Confession
; Pocket Books (2007)

O’Brien, Kevin.,
Final Breath
; Pinnacle (2009)

If you enjoyed this book, it’s time to learn o
ther considerations
in
how to maximize your Setting, such as using S
etting to create foreshadowing and tension,
how to show emotion and back story, as well as how to use Setting as a character in your story.