Wrestling Against Myself (23 page)

“Okay. Bye.”

Tony watched as the girl went into her home. He paid close attention to the way she walked, to her gait; to the way she swung her hips. He knew how guys walked, and Courtney didn't walk like a guy. He reviewed the way she talked. The sound of her voice certainly wasn't that of a guy, nor were the words she chose.

“Some people tell the craziest lies to cause trouble,” Tony said as he backed out of the girl's driveway.

Tony was the first student at the school on Tuesday morning. He had the prayer meeting early and his only concern was that the classroom was unlocked when he got there. The school took on an eerie feeling with no students walking the hallway, it felt as if the ghosts of students past floated beside him as he made his way through the empty corridors.

The room where the prayer meeting was to be held was unlocked and Tony was appreciative that he wouldn't have to chase down a janitor to unlock the door. He sat at the teacher’s desk, waiting for the others to arrive.

Carl was the first one to show up. Tony was glad because he had other things to discuss outside of prayer.

“Tiny,” Carl said as he sat on the corner of the teacher's desk. “Bright and early enough for you.”

“I could have used another hour of sleep, but I won't miss it much.”

“I already miss it. Me and my pillow are very close these days.”

“There will be enough time to sleep when we're dead.”

Carl shrugged. “By that time, I'll want to be awake.”

“Me too.” Tony grinned. “So you know what today is, right?”

“Tuesday?”

“Yes it is Tuesday. Do you know what is available on
Tuesday?”

“Pizza at lunch?”

“Open mats after school.” Tony gave a big smile and rubbed his hands together. “You're not going to seem quick this year.”

“We're starting that already?”

“Perfect time for it. For whoever wants to roll around for a bit, maybe get in some live wrestling. You can teach me that chicken wing thing that you do.”

“The chicken wing,” Carl said of his signature moved that earned him most of his pins the previous season, “is not something you learn, it is a gift that is bestowed from God.”

Tony shook his head. “So you're not going to teach it to me?”

“You know I will, if you teach me the power half. I want to punish people with it.”

Tony gave a wide smile. “Oh, and punish people you will, my friend.”

“Speaking of friends, did you let your wing man know you aren't going straight home after school?”

Tony grimaced. “I forgot all about Courtney. I'll have to tell her at lunch. She might not want to wait around, but, she could join in if she wanted.”

“A girl wrestler? I thought you were against such things?”

“I was thinking John Sharp could use a workout partner.”

“That's cold, man. Cold.”

“I didn't mean she would wrestle. Coach says the gym needs to be available to everyone, that means having the basketball courts open and letting others use the mats. Maybe she knows gymnastics.”

Others started to file into the room.

“We'll talk about it later,” Tony told Carl.

Tony waited while everyone filed into the room. Though Courtney said she wasn't going to show, he hoped she changed her mind. When he couldn't spare another minute, he started.

After pray group, Tony and Carl headed toward the locker room just to confirm the gym would be open after school.

“Have you heard any rumors about Courtney,” Tony said as they made their way through the school.

“Not much. I heard a few people say to stay away from her and she was a freak, but nothing more than what you already know.”

Tony hemmed and hawed.

“Why? You hear something else?”

“I don't want to spread rumors, especially when I don't believe a word of it.”

“You wouldn't be spreading a rumor if you say it like that. You're just informing me of what you heard. You've probably told me worse secrets in the past.”

“But those were about me.”

Carl stood off to the side so other students could pass. “You'll feel better once you tell me.”

“Okay, but this is what people are saying and I don't believe it, just so that is clear.”

“Clear as a bell,” Carl said.

“After lunch yesterday, Peter and I had a little chat.”

“Did he tell you what he had against Courtney?”

“Not really,” Tony said. “I mean, what he said would be a reason, but I think he is making it up.”

“What did he say?”

Tony looked around to make sure there was no one around to overhear him. He leaned in close to Carl's ear. “He told me that Courtney was a dude.”

Carl pulled away and looked at Tony in confusion.

“No, you heard me correctly.”

“So Peter thinks Courtney is, you know.” Carl made an exaggeratedly limp wristed motion. 

“That's one way to put it. I don't believe him though.”

Carl shook his head. “Why would he say something like that?”

“I don't know, because he finds it funny I guess.”

The two resumed their walk to the coaches’ office. “It's the first time I've heard of such a rumor.”

“Maybe he made it up and wanted to try it out on me first.”

“Crazy.” Carl opened the door to the locker room. Just like that the conversation was over.

Both wrestlers went into the coach's office and confirmed that the gym would be open after school and then they both left to head to class.

“He thinks Courtney is a boy,” Carl resumed the conversation.

“That's what he said, whether or not he believes it is besides the point. He also said something like I hung around my other gay friends.”

“You have gay friends?”

“Not that I know of.” Tony tried not to get frustrated. “He told me I failed to see the obvious.”

“I think you're right, he just wants to start trouble.”

The two walked in silence towards their classes.

“Carl, you're not gay are you,” Tony asked out of the blue. “Not that there's anything wrong with it.”

“Shut up, Tiny.”

Tony laughed. “Just checking.”

Tony decided not to go to his locker. It was the norm for him to leave his locker alone for the year after the first few days of school. He had a hang of which classes required books and he would use his car when need be. In a week or two he would forget the combination to his lock, but he anticipated that and wrote it on a piece of paper that he stuck in the glove box of his Firebird. Sometime during the last week of the semester he would pull out the textbooks he didn't use and return them to the proper teacher and life would go on. Tony preferred teachers who didn't use the textbook and just gave notes, but wished that those who knew they didn't use the textbooks would simply not hand them out.

Tony sat through his morning classes, more focused than he was the day before. Peter was spreading rumors that Courtney was a boy; it was laughable. At least it wasn't the rumor Tony had feared, that before she got to high school, Courtney was promiscuous, got pregnant, and had an abortion. He assumed he was wrong, but there was that nagging doubt in the back of his mind.

It didn't matter, rumors got started every year, and some were more damning than saying a girl was actually a boy. Perhaps if Courtney wasn't so delicate, it may have been believable. There were other girls at the school who looked more masculine that the rumor would have been cruel. Tony tried to shake it off, there were more important things to worry about during the day; like whether or not the line at lunch would be long. It always depended on what the other entrees offered were.

“Tiny,” Peter straddled up next to Tony as they made their way to the lunchroom.

“Peter,” Tony said as he slowed his gait so the other boy could say his piece and depart before they got to the cafeteria.

“I saw you still gave that thing a ride home yesterday,” he said openly.

“If you mean Courtney, yes I did.” Tony maintained his cool.

“Don't be deceived, man, that thing isn't named Courtney.”

“That's the only name I have for her.” Tony was curious as to why Peter was trying so hard to ruin this one freshman's life by insisting on the rumor.

“You know, it’s always a risk to tell you anything,” Peter said as he stopped.

Tony stopped as well. “Why is that?”

“Because no one ever knows what you're going to do.”

“Nonsense. I'm going to do what's right.”

“If you did what is right, then you would have grabbed that little twerp by the neck, pulled it out of your car and beat it to within an inch of its life.”

“So I can throw Thou shalt not commit murder right out the window.”

“I didn't say murder. I said to within an inch of its life. Some people need a good beating.”

“I suppose some people could see it that way, but that's not the way I go about things.”

Peter grew frustrated. “The other students here look for you to set an example and you’re doing the wrong thing here. We don't need a freak like that at our school.”

“So we beat up people who we don't like and chase them away instead of let them live and stay away from them? Is there another student rule book around that I haven't seen yet?”

“You disappoint me Tiny. It's my fault. I should have told you early on about that queer pretending to be a girl before he fooled you. I wanted to, but I thought I would leave you out of it. I mean, I know you want to get some big time wrestling scholarship and it wouldn't help if you got in trouble at school for just doing the right thing. And Tiny always does the right thing, right?”

“I try,” Tony said, amused at the passion the boy was displaying.

“Then why isn't Tiny doing the right thing? Okay, I see your point about beating it up. I mean, you'd get into a lot of trouble, maybe even go to jail. We might not see eye to eye on a lot of things, but I wouldn't want to see you in jail. That would suck. But we still don't need freaks going to our school. Everyone else was pretty much on board with either not talking to it or making it known it wasn't wanted here, that is, until you and your little group of Christians had to change things. But, I figured once you knew the truth, you would get on board and everyone would follow your lead.”

“So you want Courtney out of the school, why?”

Peter groaned. “How can I spell it out to you? A boy pretending to be a girl is wrong. R-O-N-G. Wrong. I thought the Bible said being a queer is wrong and they should be killed or something.”

“So you're interested in what the Bible says, because if you are, we can talk about things.”

“Not really. What is your problem? Why don't you do the right thing?”

“Because I don't believe what you think is the right thing is the right thing, that's why. First off, what you say doesn't even make sense. You say Courtney is a boy, right?”