Wrecked (Clayton Falls) (17 page)

“I’ll try.”

“Are you ready for bed?”

“I’m ready to go curl up with you.”

“Me too.” I helped her up, and we moved into her bedroom. If it was possible, I felt even closer to her. I watched her undress, amazed yet again by how beautiful her body was. I was glad she didn’t try to hide herself from me.

She caught me staring. “What?”

“I’m just admiring the view.”

“Very funny.” She pulled a t-shirt over her head.

“It’s not supposed to be a joke.”

“I know.” She joined me on the bed. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“What time does Noah get here?” Cole sat on the couch guzzling down a Coke.

“Mel’s supposed to bring him by around five.”

“Then why’d you cancel practice? You could have at least made them run through some plays.”

I grabbed my own Coke. “It’s Halloween. It should be a national holiday.”

Cole laughed. “Dude, you’ve always been obsessed with Halloween.”

“I know. I finally have an excuse to celebrate it again.”

“You’ve really grown to like the kid, huh?” He put his feet up on the ottoman.

“Yeah. Noah’s my little buddy.”

“But what happens if Emily decides she’s done with you? You’ll lose both of them. Doesn’t that worry you?”

“Decides she’s done with me?”

“I’m just telling you, man. You have to protect yourself.”

“What did that girl do to you? Not every girl is going to suddenly decide they want to experiment.” I couldn’t resist giving him a hard time. Cole had been dumped by his long term college girlfriend when she decided to date her roommate instead. He didn’t take it well.

“Shut the fuck up, Mathews. At least I’m not playing house.”

“Playing house?” I crushed my empty can.

“You have to realize that’s what’s going on. You like pretending to have a family, but you don’t. At the end of the day, the kid’s not yours and you don’t have any responsibility.”

“Bullshit. I’m not playing at anything. I spend every second I can with them. I help take care of Noah.”

“Yeah? You spend your weekends with them, but when you get home on Monday are you worried about daycare, or whether he’s sick?”

“What’s your point, Cole?” Cole was always a worrier, but he didn’t usually include me in his neuroticism.

“My point is that what you have can’t last forever. Either you’re going to actually become a family or you’re going to say goodbye. I don’t want to deal with you if you’re the one who gets hurt.”

“Hurt?”

“Yeah. You don’t have responsibility but you also have no rights. If she doesn’t want you seeing him, you don’t.”

I was getting mad, really mad. “Where the hell is all this coming from?”

“I’m just looking out for you. She’s a great girl, but don’t lose sight of reality.”

“If you’re done, you can go home.”

“No, thanks.”

“What? You want to watch me ‘play house?’”

“No, I have my reasons.” He walked into the kitchen and helped himself to a bag of chips.

“Mel?” I finally put two and two together. I knew I recognized her from somewhere more than passing her in the halls during high school. “She’s the girl you hooked up with after homecoming senior year, isn’t she?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Still the best I ever had.”

I laughed. “You’re seriously freaking me out. First you’re worried about my wellbeing and now you’re getting nostalgic about a high school hook-up.”

He shrugged. “I’m supporting you with this whole kid thing. You could at least help me out.”

Supporting me? Was that what he called it? “Fine. Stay.”

“I was going to anyway.” He sat back down on the couch.

***

“A pumpkin? She dressed him up as a pumpkin?” I couldn’t believe my eyes when Mel came to the door with Noah dressed in a puffy orange costume.

“What’s wrong? He looks adorable.” Mel walked right in like she owned the place. I was beginning to see that was just her personality.

“Emily told me she had the costume taken care of. I thought that meant a dinosaur or a monster or something.”

“Don’t listen to the big meanie, Noah. You look great.” Mel put Noah down. He immediately ran into the den to find the toys I always left out for him.

“Don’t worry, buddy, I’ll pick out your costume next year,” I called after him.

“Hey, Mel.” Cole got off the couch.

“Hey.”

There was some serious awkwardness between those two. Normally I’d have said something to help, but I had more important things to do.

“All right, Noah. Let’s get this show on the road.”

Mel decided to drive all of us, so I sat in the back with Noah. It was a different car seat than Emily had, so Mel must have had her own. I knew they were close friends, but that seemed above and beyond. Mel was a lot cooler than I’d given her credit for.

We showed up at my parents’ house, and Mom was already waiting. Some moms get really into Christmas, but my mom was the Halloween type. I think that’s what made me love the holiday so much.

“Now look at that adorable pumpkin!” She scooped Noah up and carried him inside. Noah grinned at her, immediately reaching for one of her dangling witch earrings.

The rest of us followed.

Mom suddenly noticed Mel. “Hi. You’re Melanie, right?”

“Yes. It’s nice to see you, Mrs. Mathews.”

“It’s Mary.” Mom smiled. “It’s nice to see you too. It’s too bad Emily had to work this evening, but it was so nice of you to bring Noah up.” Mom set Noah down in a booster seat with some orange Play-Doh. My mom had been adamant about buying one. She claimed she’d need the seat for Ben’s baby eventually.

I laughed. “We all know she’s really here as Emily’s spy to make sure I don’t give Noah too much candy.”

Mom pulled some pizzas from the oven. “Since you’re the one responsible for putting him to bed tonight, I’d hope you’d be careful about that anyway.”

“Sure. Sure.” I was hoping Emily would magically get out early to help. I knew I could put him down, but I didn’t deal well when he cried.

“Are those pumpkin shaped pizzas?” Mel walked over to Mom.

“Uh huh. We always make them for Halloween.”

“Em would love this. She’s so into making special foods for the holidays.”

Mom smiled. “Emily and I seem to have a lot in common.” I was glad they got along. Mom was willing to bend over backwards to help me out if it was for a girl she approved of.

Once the pizza cooled, we dug in, but not before Mom took off Noah’s costume. That would have been my first screw up of the night. He would have been a pumpkin covered in red sauce.

***

Mom must have told the neighbors to expect Noah. They all oohed and ahhed over him, and some even had special little bags set aside with his name on it. Noah kept trying to eat the candy, but I made him wait. If I didn’t, Mel probably would have killed me.

By the time we finished the block, Noah was exhausted, and I ended up carrying him back to my parents’ house. I let him choose two pieces of candy, and he happily ate a pack of M&Ms and a mini Milky Way. He grabbed for a Snickers, so I went to stop him, but he was really just trying to give it to me. “Thanks, bud.” I ate it, and he grinned.

***

Mel dropped Noah and me off, and I left her standing outside with Cole. The two of them attempted awkward conversation all night, so I figured I’d let them have more of it.

I finally got Noah to bed around 7:45. That was only after reading him five books and getting him water. When I heard his breathing even out, I sighed with relief. Emily would be there soon, and I needed to show her I could handle him alone. I tried not to let Cole get to me, but I couldn’t help but worry that she saw it as the same thing.

I double checked the freezer again to make sure I had the right ice cream. It was the first time Emily was staying the night since Noah came back. I wanted her to feel at home. It probably seemed desperate, but stocking the kitchen with her favorite foods seemed like a good idea.

I’d just settled down in front of the TV when I heard Noah crying. I opened his door and he was sitting up in bed.

I sat down next to him. The nice thing about the bed at my place was that you didn’t need a rail or anything because it was so low to the ground. “You okay, buddy?”

“Dada.” I froze. Had he just called me what I thought he had? Noah really didn’t talk much yet. Maybe it was just the sounds.

He crawled into my lap, and I held him until he fell back to sleep. I tucked him in and closed the door to his room.

I knew that chances were it was just a sound, but what if it wasn’t? What if he was starting to consider me his dad? I’d only known him two months, but maybe that was a long time for a two-year-old.

I was still thinking about it when Emily came in twenty minutes later. I kissed her, loving that she was coming home to me like that.

“Sorry I’m late. I got a last minute admission.” She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. She must have changed at the hospital before leaving. “You said on the phone he had fun. Did he go down easily?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Pretty much? Did he give you a hard time?” She glanced at the closed door to his room.

“He woke up once, but I got him back down.”

“Thank you.” She leaned up and kissed me. “I know I said it didn’t matter, but I’m glad he got to do something fun on Halloween.”

“We had a good time.”

“I’m not surprised. He’s so crazy about you.”

“Does he think of me as his dad?” The words left my mouth without thinking.

She startled. “Why would you ask that?”

“He called me dada.”

“Oh. I’ve always called you Jake to him…”

“I know that. It just surprised me.”

“Surprised you in that it freaked you out?”

“No.” I answered honestly. “It just surprised me.”

“Well, maybe he was just babbling, or maybe he heard someone refer to you in that way.”

“Or maybe he thinks it…”

She searched my face. I could tell that she was trying to figure out where I was going with the conversation. “Maybe.”

She slipped off her shoes and collapsed on the couch.

“Do you think we’re playing house?”

She sat right up. “Umm, where’s this coming from?”

“Just answer me.”

“No. I can’t play house, I have a son. I also have a boyfriend, and I’m trying to balance things and make them work.”

“Okay, good. That’s how I feel.”

She picked at her nail nervously. “I’m trying to figure out if this is the beginning of the end.”

“What?” I sat down next to her.

“Are you freaking out about things moving too fast, and not wanting to deal with us?”

I shook my head. “No. No. Not at all.”

“Then what is it?”

I took her hand. “It’s probably the opposite thing you’re thinking.”

“Meaning?”

“Cole kind of scared me earlier. I mean, what happens if you dump me? Do I lose you both?”

She leaned against me. “Why would I dump you? Didn’t we just have this conversation last week?”

“And I told you I wasn’t going to leave you. You didn’t tell me that.” I hadn’t come to that realization until Noah surprised me with the word.

She picked her head up from my chest and looked me straight in the eye. “I can’t promise you nothing is ever going to change, because this is still new, but I don’t want to leave you. You make me happy in a way no one else ever has. I can promise that if you’re good for Noah, I’d never cut you out of his life.”

“But you might cut me out of yours?”

“No!” She squeezed my hand. “I’m not going to. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I want you guys to move in with me.” I hadn’t planned to say it, but it just kind of came out.

“What?”

“I don’t want to just be part of your life a few days a week. I want to be all in.”

She moved away slightly. “We can’t just move in with you.”

“Why not?”

“Child care. Our sitters and his daycare are in Wilmington.”

“You’re still going to work there. You can take him to the same daycare. And we can find sitters here. I have the space. Yeah, you’d have to drive further to work, but wouldn’t it be worth it?”

She didn’t say anything for a minute. “Isn’t this a little fast?”

“Not for me. Besides, you’re trying to save money. With the money you’d save on rent, you’d be able to pay for school in no time. Or you could just let me—”

“No. Absolutely not. You’re not paying.”

“Fine.” I decided not to bring Austen up. It wouldn’t help.

“I don’t know. It’s a big decision, and I need to think about it.”

“Think about it. There’s no expiration on the offer.”

She smiled. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Maybe for something sweet. It’s Halloween, and I haven’t had anything yet.”

“I’ve got that brownie ice cream you like, and Noah made bank trick or treating tonight.”

“Did he get any Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups?”

“I’m sure he did.” I hopped off the couch and searched through his bag until I found the orange wrapper.

“Perfect.” She took a bite. “What time do you have work tomorrow?”

“Nine. We can sleep in as late as Noah does.”

“Good, I’m exhausted.”

“I bet.” I moved behind her so I could give her a shoulder rub. “You’re so tense.”

“I know.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

She moaned. “That.”

I assumed she meant the back rub and continued.

She moaned again. “I could get used to this.”

“I’ve given you these plenty of times before.”

“Yeah, but not after a long day of work.”

“You know what my reply to that is going to be.”

She laughed. “What, that I can have one every time I come home?”

I let go of her shoulders and pulled her back against me. “Every single time.”

“Do you also cook and clean too? I mean if you’re trying to sell the opportunity.”

“You know I cook. And clean…this is as good as it gets.”

“Are there any other services I should know about?”

“Yeah, and I’d be happy to demonstrate those if you’d just follow me into the bedroom.”