Wray (12 page)

"Adana died not long after she presented
Van." Wray told her, thinking about his Empress. Would she have
been heartbroken at Van’s death as Kim seemed to think, or would it
have not mattered to her since her duty was done? Looking at Kim,
he could see
she
was truly upset he had lost offspring. Van
mattered to her even though she had never known him. If Van had
been hers,
she
would have been heartbroken.

"I... “Kim didn't know what to say, didn't
know how she felt. On one hand, she was sorry that Adana had died.
Wray had to have cared about her. On the other, she was relieved
that she wasn't still
in
his life. Tears
of shame filled Kim's eyes at her selfish thoughts. Wray had lost a
female, had lost a child and all she could think about was how it
affected
her
. S
he hadn't changed at
all.

Wray wished he could take back his words and
actions. He hadn't meant to speak to her so harshly, hadn’t meant
to tell her about Van. He didn't talk about him. Not to Grim. Not
even to Tora.

He had been proud when Adana had chosen him
as her male, but he'd also known that it had more to do with him
being Emperor than him being a worthy male. Kim saw him as a worthy
male, but his actions weren't those of one. Would she forgive
him?

"I am sorry
,
Kim."
He said, moving cautiously towards her. "I should not have acted
like that. I should not have spoken like that to you."

"You were afraid I would drown."

"Yes, but that is still no excuse for what I
did."

"What did you do
,
Wray?"

"I touched you in anger. I shook you." Wray
felt his shame grow. "I upset you."

“That’s not why I’m upset
,
Wray.”

“It’s not?”

“No, I’m upset because you lost your
offspring because you lost your female… and because I’m
relieved.”

“What do you mean?” Wray looked at her
shocked.

“I’m sorry you lost your son
,
Wray. I can’t imagine how terrible that must have
been for you. It’s something I never want to experience, but I’m
also crying because I’m relieved that I don’t have to compete with
one of your females… and that shames me. If I truly loved you, I
would want you to be happy even if it wasn't with me.”

Wray didn’t know what to say. Never had a
female expressed herself to him thusly. That she would want him to
be happy… no matter who he was with
. It
was not only shocking, but also unheard of. A female always
expected to be the center of a male’s life, even though she would
not remain in it. She expected him to be gentle with her at all
times. He could never raise his voice to her, especially in anger
or she would become upset and seclude herself but those things had
not upset Kim. What upset
her
was that he might find her
lacking when compared to Adana.

“Kim…” Wray wrapped his arms around her
pulling her close again. “You mean so much more to me than Adana
ever did. Don’t you know that?” Bending his knees so he could look
her in the eye, he continued. “Have I failed you by not making you
understand how important you are to me? How much
you
mean to
me? If I have then the shame is mine, not yours.”

“I know what you’ve told me
,
Wray it’s just…”

“Just what
,
little
one?”

“Your world is so different than mine that I
sometimes find it hard to believe, like a mother abandoning her
child. It’s not that it doesn’t happen on Earth and it’s not like
there aren’t females who are with a male because of what he can
give her, but it’s not the norm and it’s not how I grew up. Even
when I was terrible to my parents, they never deserted me, never
stopped loving me. I always knew they would be there for me that
they would keep me safe… and then they were gone.”

“What happened to them
,
Kim?” Wray asked and felt her tense in his arms.

“They died,” she whispered, “in a car
accident… transport accident.” She corrected. “They’d gone away for
the weekend and on the way back another transport hit them and they
died instantly.”

“I’m sorry
,
Kim.”

“Me too… things had just started to get
better again, I was finally getting over losing Warrior and then
they
were gone.”

“Warrior?” Wray questioned tensing at the
affection he heard in her voice for another male. “You said you had
no male.”

“I don’t. I didn’t.” Kim frowned at him.
“Warrior was my dog
,
Wray.”

“Dog?” he questioned.

“Yes. A pet.” When he still looked at her
confused, she tried again. “An animal that lived with me?”

“A haiwan?” Wray asked and Kim searched her
mind and found that was the Tornian word for pet.

“Yes
,
a haiwan. I
got him for my tenth birthday and named him Warrior because he had
survived so much.”

“I do not understand.” Wray thought of the
haiwans he had known. Most were very small and timid and only
survived when carefully cared for. They weren’t like Warriors.

“The people that had Warrior before me, used
him as a fighting dog.”

“Fight dog…”

“Yes. They would make him fight other dogs,
so they could bet on which one would win. Warrior always won. So
they also used him as a sire, hoping his offspring would do the
same.”

“We have such animals t
o
o, but they would never be used as a haiwan, they are
too large and deadly.”

“That was Warrior. He was massive, strong and
deadly and that’s all anyone ever saw when they looked at him, what
was on the outside. I saw what was on the inside; saw how gentle he
could be, how caring. All he wanted was for someone to love and
accept him for who he was and I did.”

“Your manno allowed such a creature near
you?” Wray couldn’t hide his shock.

“He really didn’t have a choice. I knew
Warrior was mined the minute I saw him and I wasn’t giving him up.”
She gave him a slight smile. “I can be stubborn sometimes.”

“Really?” Wray found himself smiling down at
her. “I hadn’t noticed that.”

“Yeah
,
right, so
anyway Warrior came home with us and life was great…” the smile
left her lips as she continued, “until he died.”

“I am sorry
,
Kim.”

“So am I. He died in my arms… after he saved
my life.” Devastated eyes looked at him as she remembered the day.
“I was crossing the street, almost home when a… transport going
t
o
o fast came down the street. I froze. I
just stood there in the middle of the street watching it bear down
on me and then Warrior was there.” She could see it all happening
again in her mind. “He knocked me out of the way and it hit him
instead of me. The force of the hit knocked him halfway down the
block. I can still hear it. The sound he made when he hit... I
crawled to him on my hands and knees, screaming the entire way.
When I got to him… he just looked up at me, his eyes full of so
much love, even though his body
was
broken
and he licked my face. He licked away my tears as if he couldn’t
bear to see them… then he died.”

Wray gently wiped away the tears that had
flowed down Kim’s cheeks as she told him about her pet and found he
didn’t like them any more than Warrior had. They didn’t belong on
her. She should never be sad, should never experience loss and he
would make it his mission to be sure it never happened again.

“He was truly worthy of the title ‘Warrior.'”
He told her.

“Yes. He was.” She whispered and sunk into
the comfort of Wray’s embrace.

Wray’s knuckles were white as he gripped the
top of the cave’s entrance, staring out at the raging storm. After
they’d returned to the chamber, they’d eaten and Kim had fallen
asleep in his arms, emotionally exhausted. He didn’t like how
easily she tired and hoped to find the storm easing. Instead, it
seemed to be gaining strength. He had told her that storms like
these could rage up to a week, but in truth, he’d never known one
too. He’d told her that before he’d gotten to know her, telling her
what he would have told a Tornian female so she would be
appreciative when the time was shorter. Now he thought he might be
right.

He knew Kim was concerned about what she
would face once they left here, concerns he understood, but he
wanted to get her on the Searcher. He wanted to get her into the
deep repair unit so he could be sure she was truly healed. He
wanted to be able to feed her until she was full. He wanted her to
rest in his bed,
not
in a thin survival blanket, on a hard
cold floor.

He wanted to see her in his home, surrounded
by its beauty and comfort. He wanted to see her wearing his House
color and know she was safe and protected. He wanted to Join with
her... to make her his... forever. He wanted to do all these
things, but could do nothing until the storm ended.

Soft hands slipping around his waist brought
his mind back to the present. They traveled up his chest as warm
kisses were pressed against his back.

“Why aren’t you resting?” He
asked
,
covering one of her hands with
his.

“I missed you.” She murmured against his
back.

Reaching an arm back, he pulled her to his
side. “I haven’t been gone long.” He said, kissing the top of her
head.

“I still missed you.” She looked out into the
storm “What's got you staring out into the storm? Is something
wrong?”

“No. I was just thinking about how beautiful
you are going to look in my home.”

“Your home?” she questioned, looking up at
him.

“Yes
,
on the planet
Tornian.”

“I hadn’t realized…” Kim frowned slightly.
Why hadn’t she realized?

“Where did you think we would live?” He asked
returning her frown.

“I thought we would be living on the
Searcher.” She told him honestly. “I guess I should have realized
you’d have to have a home somewhere since you had Adana and
Van.”

“I do, it is called Torino, House Torino and
I think you will be very happy there. There are rooms filled with
beautiful things for you to enjoy. It has gardens you can walk
in…”

“You mean ‘we.' Gardens
we
can walk
in.”

“If that is what you wish.” Wray smiled,
enjoying the thought of walking in the gardens with her, especially
at night, with the light of Tornian’s moon shining down on her. She
would
be so beautiful in it. “I would
enjoy that very much.” Leaning down, he captured her mouth for a
hard kiss.

“Tell me more about your home.” Kim
encouraged snuggling in closer to his side.

“Our home.” Wray corrected and received a
brilliant smile in return.

“Our home.” She agreed. “I'd like that. I’d
like to have a home again.” Kim's smile dimming slightly as she
thought about home.

“I am sorry that I do not know where your
Earth is
,
Kim.” Wray told her, turning so
he blocked a sudden gust of wind. “Would you,” he found himself
asking as he moved them away from the entrance, “return if you
could?”

“No.” She immediately replied. “There’s no
one left for me there.”

“What about your sister? Jen?”

“She and Todd went missing over six months
ago, that’s why the Ganglians found me.”

“What do you mean?”

Kim sighed heavily as she rubbed her hands
over his chest, taking comfort in his solid presence. She knew she
needed to tell him what had happened. How she had gotten here. They
needed to be honest with each other if they were going to make this
work.

“I’d just turned sixteen when mom and dad
died. On Earth, you’re not considered an adult until you’re
eighteen. I wasn’t allowed to live on my own
,
I had to have a guardian. Mom and dad had already
arranged it that if anything ever happened to them Jen would be my
guardian. Todd wasn’t happy about it.”

“This Todd, he is the one who Joined with
your sister? The one you spoke of before?”

“Yes. He was Jen’s husband.”

“Why would he be unhappy to take
responsibility for you? It is an honor for a male to be asked to
care for a young female. It is a measure of his worth.”

“Maybe on Tornian but not so much on Earth.
Todd and Jen had plans… dreams… Jen had graduated from culinary
school and had spent the last couple of years working for other
people. She and Todd had scrimped and saved so they could travel
the world and experience different cultures and foods. My parents’
death changed that.”

“That was not your fault
,
Kim.”

“No, but my attitude was. You see
,
Todd and I had never really gotten along. I always
thought
he
was
an
arrogant jerk and he thought I was a spoiled brat.” Kim shrugged
her shoulders. “Turns out we were both right.”

“No
,
Kim…” Wray
immediately denied.

“Yes
,
Wray. Todd was
right about me. I was spoiled. I didn’t want to go live with them
and I made sure they knew it. He didn’t want me there and he made
sure
I
knew it. We fought all the time and poor Jen was left
playing the peacemaker between the male she loved and the sister
she felt responsible for.” Kim found herself lost in the past as
she thought about what her sister had put up with.

“Kim…”

Wray’s concern brought her back to the
present. “Sorry. So on my eighteenth birthday, Todd and I got into
it again and Jen tried to calm things down, but this time I didn’t
have to listen. I was eighteen and I knew more than she did and
that’s exactly what I told her, only I wasn’t very nice about it.”
Kim felt the shame of her actions fill her again. “By the time I
was done Jen was crying and I just walked away.”