Wrapped In Shadows (26 page)

She gripped both shoulders and her brown gaze met mine. “No, Kay. You’re not that gullible. Josh is that ruthless and manipulative. You have the kindest heart of anyone I know. Josh exploited that kindness. He turned your greatest strength into your biggest weakness. He took advantage of you and he’s still trying to.”

“But how could I not have seen through his lies? He’s been sleeping with Carol the whole time. How could I have ever loved him?”

Michelle swore under her breath. “Look, I know this will cause you to question yourself and your judgment. It’s normal to do that given the circumstances, but take a step back.” She pursed her lips. “Think about what you really felt for him.”

My brows drew together as I considered my friend’s words. I tried to quell the noise in my head, tried to analyze my feelings and find a singular truth. “I was committed to spending the rest of my life with him. I loved him.”

“Did you, Kay? When you talk about Josh, you talk about his problems and all his issues. You were always trying to fix them, trying to help him. Maybe it wasn’t love, Kay?” Michelle shrugged. “Maybe it was this…desire you have to save the world. I think that’s why you stayed with him for so long. Not necessarily out of love, but because you saw a man who was damaged and needed help. You wanted to help him.” She shook her head sadly. “But Josh’s kind of damage
you
can’t fix. He’ll just destroy you. He needs professional help.”

I shot my friend a weepy smile. “How did you get to be so wise?”

Michelle donned a cheeky smile. “I’m not just a pretty face and a sexy body. Besides, that’s what best friends are for.” Her expression turned teasing. “Honestly, I’ve seen you smile more in the last few days than in the last three years. Pumpernickel agrees with you.”

I felt my face flush. I wiped my eyes and looked down, running the links of the keychain through my fingers. “Luke is wonderful. He makes me laugh. I know it sound hokey, but when I’m in his arms I feel…grounded, secure, like I belong there.” I looked up sheepishly through my wet lashes. “And the sex is
ridiculously
good.”

Michelle grinned. “Once you go pumpernickel…”

We shared a chuckle, then Michelle tilted her head and regarded me. “You okay dating a guy with a kid?”

I thought for a minute then nodded. It was a first for me, but I really liked Livy. “Doesn’t bother me. She’s a sweet girl.”

“Dealing with these murder charges must be tough on him.”

I nodded and ran a palm over my wet face, blowing out a deep breath. I was glad I’d confided in my friend, but could still feel the heavy anxiety like a crushing squeeze. This was additional strain Luke didn’t need right now. He was already going through enough. He didn’t need to be dealing with my problems.

“I don’t want him to know about Josh.”

Michelle’s lips thinned. “You should tell him.”

“Promise me you won’t say anything.” I branded Michelle with a hard stare.

“Fine, but you should tell him yourself,” Michelle eventually relented with a deep sigh.

“I’ll think about it.”

Something else nagged me. Some of Josh’s words had started to stain my thoughts. I continued to stare into Michelle’s eyes.

“How much do you know about Luke’s marriage and his wife’s murder?”
Michelle’s lips pulled down. She shook her head, confused. “Not much. Just what I told you.”

“Did you ever hear rumors they were having marital problems…that she’d left him? That she was on drugs?”

“Who told you that? Josh?”

I nodded and Michelle cursed. “Don’t listen to him, Kay. He’s trying to poison your mind against Luke.”

“I know. I know Luke wouldn’t hurt anyone. I’m just…wondering about his marriage, that’s all.”

“I’m sure you can just ask him.”

I nodded, but my thoughts kept boomeranging to Josh and my current dilemma.

“What are you going to do?” Michelle asked, her voice soaked with worry. She took my hand and pushed back my coat sleeve, issuing a snort of disgust at the sight of the extensive bruising.

“I don’t know. I don’t see I have much choice, but I’ll try to think of something.”

“Whatever you do, Kay.
Please
be careful. Josh is dangerous.”

I stood and hugged my friend. “I have to go.”

“Why don’t you stay and we can talk more? You’re still shaking.”

I could feel the fine tremors running through my hands and sprinting down my legs. I took a deep breath and started toward the door. “I—I have to go home. I need some time alone to think. Thank you.” I hugged her again before I left.

I stepped out of Michelle’s building into the cold evening air. It was dark out, but the streets were bustling with people. A strong gust of wind battered my face and I welcomed the assault, hoping the sting would clear my head and calm my muddled thoughts. I needed a cab, but decided to walk for a while. The exercise would do me good. What was I going to do? Should I pay Josh off? Would that really stop him from carrying out his threat? And what was to stop him from demanding more and more, from becoming a demon I had to constantly feed? Or what if I paid him off and he
still
went to my parents? I couldn’t trust such a monster to keep his word.

Pulling the collar snugly around my neck, I breathed frost through my lips. Luke had known what kind of man Josh was. I remembered now that he hadn’t seemed surprised when I’d confessed I thought he was cheating. Josh was also high on the list of his suspects for committing the murders. Like a fool, I’d defended him. But the man who had come to my office today had been more than capable of murder, those hard blue eyes had seethed with intense hatred and malevolence. Josh was ruining the life and livelihood of an innocent man, and now resorting to flagrant blackmail. There was no way I could let him get away with what he’d done—what he was trying to do.

Perhaps there was a way I could stop him, maybe save Luke—maybe save myself…

It wasn’t so much the cold air that caused goosebumps to march up and down my skin. I was already trembling from the emotion storming through me. But there was a subtle shift in the air followed by a sharpening intuition that something was wrong, that someone was watching me.

I stopped and turned around, now noticing the quiet. The sounds of the city had been absorbed by the night and the rambling people had thinned. How far had I walked? I did a quick sweep of the streets and didn’t recognize this intersection. Shadows ducked in and out of buildings, playing tricks on my eyes. There was a small restaurant across the street and I made my way there, my boots clicking faster on the cement curb. My line of work often put me in questionable neighborhoods, and I considered myself pretty street savvy.

Perhaps I was still spooked from my encounter with Josh, but I wasn’t taking any chances. I sprinted the last few steps and slipped into the restaurant, not even sure what I was running from. Inside there were a few tables occupied with patrons and a friendly waitress greeted me. Expelling a sigh of relief, I let my gaze peer out the window. I’d call a cab and have a drink while I waited. There was nothing outside that seemed an obvious cause for alarm, but even as I stared through the glass I couldn’t help the feeling that someone’s gaze was fixed directly on me.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Luke

The good news came late Friday afternoon. Jack Mason called and informed me the charges had been dropped. The DA didn’t think he had enough evidence to get a grand jury indictment. Plus with the alibi statement and the inconclusive surveillance footage, their case was circumstantial at best. I called my parents to let them know. I knew the news would quickly spread along the Davenport chain. Tonight I had dinner plans with three of my brothers, and with this new turn of events, our outing would no doubt turn into a raucous celebration. I couldn’t stay out too late, though, as I had Livy’s ballet recital tomorrow and had to be fully alert. Knowing my precocious daughter, she’d quiz me on every aspect of the performance.

I smiled to myself as I dialed Katie’s number, thinking about the ribbing I’d received from Bruce. My friend was right. Katie made him happy. She filled me up with joy, with hope.

“Hey, beautiful,” I said when she answered.

“He—hello, Luke, how are you?” she replied.

My forehead wrinkled. There was something subtle in her tone, like a musical note played at the wrong pitch. I’d heard the same edginess when I’d spoken to her on Christmas day, but thought maybe she was just tired.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Her voice perked up. “What’s up?”

“I heard from Mason. The charges were dropped.”

She squealed happily on the other end and I had to pull the phone back a bit. I could picture her wide, lovely grin, and her exuberance sparked a fire in my chest.

“
Oh my God!
That’s awesome! Luke, I’m so happy for you!”

So happy for us…
I thought. Things would be a lot smoother without this threat hanging over my head. Although, there was still the matter of finding the true murderer.

“We’ll celebrate tomorrow,” I said. Pausing, I scratched my chin. Maybe things were moving a bit too fast for her. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s good,” she responded cheerfully, but I was still concerned.

It had been Livy who’d asked her to come tomorrow, but I didn’t want her to feel pressured. “Listen, if you have things you need to do tomorrow, Livy will understand. We can just do a quiet dinner later.”

“No! No! I can't wait to see the recital. I’ve watched her practice for the last week, are you kidding me? I know it so well that if there’s a no-show, I could probably stand in.” She laughed.

“I’d love to see that.” I smiled, loving the sound of her laugh.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m thrilled with the news, Luke.”

Steven poked his head through my office door, a big grin on his face. I motioned him in.

“Me too. Thanks again for what you did.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, beautiful.”

I signed off and turned to Steven, almost toppling as the big man advanced and threw his arms around me in a bear hug.

“I just heard the news! Is it true?”

“Yes.” I smiled, stepping back.

“That’s fucking awesome! We’ll have to go out and celebrate.” Steven grinned cheekily. “I know this great brothel on the other side of town.”

I shook my head and chuckled dryly. “Don’t even joke about that. That was a once in a lifetime event. The next time you guys decide to cheer me up, take me to a wake or something.”

Steven grinned. He’d been with us that night at
Sensations
. I wasn’t as close to him as I was to Bruce, but I considered him a good friend.

“Well, we’ll have to do drinks sometime. I have a meeting with our Sloan account on Monday. They’re having cold feet, but I think I can convince them to stay with us. This news makes things easier.”

I nodded and rounded my desk. I needed to spread the word about the dropped charges as quickly as possible. I needed to start turning this shit around.

“Let’s get our reporter friends on the horn.”

I eased quietly between a row of seats and advanced down the aisle of the darkened auditorium. The elementary school where Livy was performing was packed with family and friends who’d come to watch the performance. Grateful for my height, I stopped halfway down the aisle, raising the video camera higher to get a better view of the stage. I didn’t dare approach the throng of mothers who’d positioned themselves strategically in front of the stage to get the best footage. As a single dad who regularly attended these events, I’d learned early on that it was suicide to mess with them. I’d witnessed warfare that would rival any battlefield. Anything from stealthy elbow jabs, to vicious hip bumps, to deadly stiletto maneuvers. It all left me shuddering. I was amazed at what damage could be done with a tube of lipstick and a pencil of eyeliner. Occasionally a wandering eye would catch me. It would either be devouring me in a way that made my balls shrivel, or sizing me up as a potential threat. So I always made a point to keep my distance.

Livy was stage right and in the front line, so I was able to see my daughter clearly. She’d stumbled and almost fallen a little earlier when she and another little girl collided, and my heart had nearly leaped out of my chest. But Livy never lost her smile, and she’d kept dancing. It was wonderful to see the excited five year olds, awkward on stage and for the most part adorably uncoordinated, but each danced their little heart out.

I let my gaze travel back to the row of seats where Katie sat leaning forward. The stage lights illuminated her beautiful face with an almost ethereal glow. She tracked Livy’s every move, a wide smile on her emotive face. I was glad she’d come. It meant a lot to Livy—to me. She seemed a little quiet today, but I knew she’d been working hard on the autism fundraiser and was also concerned about her employee. I looked forward to our quiet dinner tonight and couldn’t wait to have her in my arms.

Since Thursday when she’d shown up at my office, I’d been battling an almost constant hard-on, and jerking off seemed to only heighten my desire for her and underscore what I was missing. My physical attraction to her was intense, but it wasn’t just about the sex. I was also drawn to the kindness and purity of her spirit. She brought out a side of me I’d thought died with Roslyn. When I laughed with her, I felt it in my heart, when I kissed her, I felt it in my soul, and the absolute rightness of it was simply stunning.

The fact that she’d shown up at my office to see me was encouraging. After that night in my apartment when she’d made excuses for Josh, a part of me had been worried that she still might take him back, that she was still in love with him. I knew Katie was a smart woman, but even smart women stayed with abusive men. It was good to see she felt our strong attraction too. I was glad that she wanted to be with me as much as I did her. After going through a rocky marriage and dealing with perpetual lies and deceit, I knew my heart was hesitant to trust, hesitant to believe in the power and possibility I felt in my connection with Katie. Over the past few years, I never let myself get close to anyone. I just didn’t have time to deal with bullshit.

*************************

Katie

Late that evening, we returned to Luke’s apartment after a leisurely dinner. I listened as Mrs. Rogers explained to Luke how Livy had fallen asleep mid-sentence. Livy had been determined to wait up for us, and while fervently proclaiming that, had fallen asleep. I wasn’t surprised, the little girl had had a long day packed with excitement and must have been exhausted.

Luke closed the door behind his nanny and crossed the room to me.

“Give me a minute, I’m just gonna check on Livy,” he said, pulling me into his arms.

I nodded quietly, tilting my lips to accept his kiss.

“Make yourself comfortable.” He pulled away and I watched his tall form retreat down the hall and enter Livy’s room.

I had enjoyed watching Livy perform on stage, and had barely been able to contain the emotion in my throat at the pride in Luke’s eyes. It forced me to reflect on my own childhood and unfortunately revealed many empty spaces. But when you don’t know what you don’t have, you don’t miss it. All you have is a nagging sense of longing for something you can’t quite explain. The irony with me is that to an observer, it seemed I had so much, and I knew I did financially, but I’d always felt destitute in the things that really mattered. It was only when I met Michelle in college and the women at the shelter, that I felt I’d formed genuine relationships with people who actually cared how I did on a day to day basis.

Watching father and daughter today left me a bit emotional, but in actuality, I’d been deeply distraught and raw with anxiety, feeling like an internal dam was about to burst at any moment. Josh’s visit left me dangling from a cliff’s edge and struggling with indecision. So many times during dinner I’d opened my mouth to confess everything to Luke, but then I’d think of the consequences to him if he were to go after Josh, and I’d lasso the escaping words. His business couldn’t tolerate any more scandal. Josh would surely press charges this time. Earlier that morning I’d picked up the phone to call my banker to inquire how long it would take to liquidate that much money. Shaking with worry, I’d hung up at the last minute. I wrapped my arms around my torso and sank to the couch.

What was I going to do? I had to think of something! And, more importantly, what was I going to do about Luke—right now?

I’d almost begged off dinner plans with the excuse of a headache, but knowing it was a special day for him, and that we were celebrating the charges being dropped, I didn’t have the heart to back out. Besides, I’d really wanted to spend time with him. But this was exactly what I’d feared: ending up at his apartment. I’d worn a sweater with the longest sleeves I could find. And if I didn’t think I’d be conspicuous, I would have worn a paper bag over my head to hide the shame of deceiving him I was sure was written all over my face. I was never good at shielding my emotions. During dinner I’d been a nervous wreck, barely following our conversation.

I’d tried to convince myself that maybe I could seduce him in the dark, or insist that the lights remain off during sex. But who was I kidding? That wasn’t Luke’s style. He was a visual lover. He enjoyed watching us have sex. He seemed to delight in paying homage to every inch of my body in the most conspicuous fashion. He loved watching my reaction to the things he did to me and knowing he was the one who caused it. Under normal circumstances, I’d be ripping his clothes off right about now. Hell, before Josh’s visit, I’d been eagerly anticipating tonight, but now my stomach teemed with a swarm of angry bees and my palms were cold and sweaty.

I couldn’t help thinking about my employees. This was a terrible economy. What would happen to them if they lost their jobs? They needed me, and I had to admit that I also needed them. They were my friends.

I took a deep breath when Luke returned to the living room. I had my head thrown back against the frame of the couch, trying to effect a measure of calm. He lowered his body next to me, and circling my legs, hooked them over his lap. His palm massaged my thigh, infusing heat into my skin.

“Hey,” he whispered, leaning over to kiss the tip of my nose, “are you okay?”

I nodded and snuggled against him, rubbing my forehead into the prickly skin of his neck. He pulled back and shifted his torso to face me, then hooking his finger under my chin, he let his lips drift down my nose to whisper across my lips. Unable to resist, I parted my lips as he deepened the kiss, letting my tongue slide over his.
Oh, God! He tasted so good!
I really missed him. Apart from a few chaste kisses he’d stolen at the restaurant, I hadn’t been intimate with him all day.

Luke groaned against my mouth and his fingers skimmed beneath the hem of my sweater, tantalizing my skin and sending weak flutters up to my breasts. My nipples beaded instantly. I started to tremble, the needs of my body warring with the belligerent factions in my brain. Cool air pimpled the skin of my belly as he eased up my sweater, about to draw it over my head.

Shit! Shit! I couldn’t let this happen!

With my heart in my throat, I pushed back from him, my palms flat against his muscled chest. I saw an expression cross his face I couldn’t quite interpret, and my heart twisted painfully. My body still shivered with need, and I dug my nails into the flesh of my palms. I hoped the pain would obliterate my burgeoning desire. Maybe I could detour us onto another subject and keep things less physical.

“Umm…so, have you heard from Carlos?”

Luke gave me a long stare, studying me, but thankfully said nothing. The green of his eyes was very deep. The atmosphere between us swelled with gravid tension and I wanted to burst into tears.
This was so fucked up!

He tweaked my nose playfully and shot me a half smile as he leaned back against the couch, but I could sense confusion threading between his thoughts.

“Not since last week. He’s interviewed a few people from the club, and he’s looking into some other things for me, but so far nothing.”

I thought I knew the answer to the next question, but asked anyway.

“Now that the charges are dropped and you’re clear, are you going to continue with the private investigator?”

He nodded. “I know the police will continue to investigate the murders, but it doesn't change the fact that someone tried to frame me for them. I’ll see what Carlos can find. I have him following up on some theories.”

My heart started grinding faster. I knew what he wasn’t saying. I knew who was on top of his list and I hoped they nailed the fucker.

“You mean investigate Josh?” It was more of a statement than a question, but I watched his lips thin as his gaze flitted over my face.

He looked into my eyes. “Yes, Josh.” He sighed deeply, his gaze never leaving my face. “Have you seen him, Kay?”

Oh, God…
My heart buckled in my chest as I shook my head. I couldn’t find my voice, couldn’t breathe. I looked away, afraid he’d see right through me. I reminded myself of all the reasons I couldn’t tell him the truth. After a minute, he continued.