Wrangled (18 page)

“Want to go for a ride?” Jason asked, his
voice a low growl.

God help me, I did. I wanted to ride out
somewhere where it was really dark and have sex with Jason. One corner of my
mind recognized that this wasn’t normal and probably not advisable, but the
rest of me outvoted it. “Yes, I do.”

Jason took me way out on a ranch road that
wound around the hills, then parked with the front of the car pointed up the
hill at the spot where the moon was going to rise any minute. He put his arm
around me, and pulled me close, without saying a word. The ride had sobered me
up, and I no longer wanted to have sex with him, but I recognized I might not
be in a position to object, so I sat stiffly in his embrace and said nothing.

After a while, Jason sighed, and said,
“It’s probably too soon. We haven’t known each other that long. But Annalee,
when you’re around, something in me wants to grab you, throw you over my
shoulder and carry you off to my cave. I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped any
boundaries.”

With my eyes cast down, I said, “No, Jason,
you haven’t. You’ve been a perfect gentleman. But I think I’d better get back
home now.”

Slowly, he moved his arm out from around me
and reached for the ignition key. “You let me know when it’s okay to not be
such a gentleman, okay Annalee?”

“Okay,” I gasped.

By the time we got home, Ciara and all the
kids were asleep, so I didn’t invite him in, but I told him why and he seemed
okay with that. He bent to kiss me chastely goodnight, and then went back to
his car as I closed the door softly behind him.

What a strange night
, I thought. I wondered if I had been drunk on only one glass of
wine, and counted myself lucky that Jason was a gentleman, who wouldn’t take
advantage of me.

I spared that hospital bill only a passing
glance as I made my way to bed. No use spoiling what looked to be a good
night’s sleep by opening it tonight. I’d see to it in the morning.

The next morning, I thought about putting
it off again, but I knew I’d eventually have to open it and face the music. All
I could hope was that they would let me work out a payment schedule. Expecting
it to be somewhere in the neighborhood of $10,000, I pulled out page after page
of itemized bill, looking frantically for a total. I found it on the last page,
and nearly lost my breakfast. Eighty-four thousand dollars, and some change! I
stared at the figure, unable to process it. It was more than three times what I
made in a year. How in God’s name was I going to pay this?

In despair, I laid my head on my arms and
wept. That’s where Ciara and the kids found me a few minutes later.

“Annalee, what’s wrong?” Ciara gasped. Tali
had come to me and was patting my arm like she did Al’s when he cried from his
pain.

“God, Ciara, I’m in so much trouble!”
Thinking nothing of speaking in front of the kids, they were just babies, I
told her. “Al’s hospital bill is over eighty-four thousand! I don’t know how
I’m going to pay it.”

“Oh, my God,” she echoed. “What are you
going to do?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t know. The only
person I know with that kind of money is Russ, and he’s already done so much
for us. This is my fault. I should have applied for insurance as soon as we
moved off the ranch.”

“Wait, the accident happened on the ranch.
Do you think Russ’s insurance will cover it?”

“I’m not going to ask that of him, you hear
me Ciara? Don’t say anything to him!”

“But, Annalee…”

“No, I mean it. This is for me to figure
out. I’ll call them, see what I can work out.” Even with my brave words, I knew
I’d be paying off this bill for the next eight or ten years, if they’d even
work with me. Earning commissions on top of my salary was now critical.

As usual, Jason knew something was wrong
the minute I walked in the door of the office. He knew me so well, could read
me like a book. At the moment, I was glad of a friendly shoulder to cry on,
never thought about how creepy it was for him to know me that well after such a
short acquaintance.

“Annalee, what’s wrong? What happened since
last night?” His deep voice held only concern for me, and I wanted to sink into
his arms for comfort, but this was the office.

“I opened the hospital bill,” I confessed.
Understanding flooded his face.

“What’s the damage?”

“Over eighty-four thousand dollars. Jason,
I can’t pay that!”

“Well, the first thing to do is let them
know your financial situation. It’s a non-profit hospital, and I know they’ve
got some leeway. Don’t panic, let’s see what they can do for you.”

I hadn’t thought of that. With Jason’s
encouragement, I called right away and made an appointment to go talk to the
financial counselor at the hospital. He told me to go ahead and take the time
off with pay, he needed me alert and able to work, not worried about  that
bill.

At the hospital, after a brief explanation,
the woman there gave me a big handful of forms to fill out and bring back.
“Don’t worry,” she said, “we’ll try to work within your means.” She never told
me I could declare bankruptcy and wipe out the whole bill. Guess that wasn’t
her job.

Jason told me though, and asked if I wanted
to talk to a lawyer. I couldn’t decide. It didn’t seem right, somehow. Maybe
I’d see what the hospital could do before I took that step. I took the forms
home that night and filled them all out as best I could. When it came to the
spaces for ‘spouse’ and ‘spouse employment’, all of that about Al’s father, I
did the best I could. Next morning, I dropped them off at the hospital before I
went on in to work.

Jason insisted on taking me to lunch every
day, and that helped with my grocery budget, so I let him do it. He acted like
I shouldn’t have a care in the world, and it was a relief sometimes just to be
with him, laughing and joking, and forget all the troubles that were out there
waiting for me. One day, we went into the diner and found a group of women who
reminded me of me and my sisters before Russ and Charity took us in. They all
had long-sleeved cotton dresses that came down close to their ankles, white
socks with black flats over them, and their hair was done like I remembered. I
didn’t know where to look, because I was embarrassed by them.

To think I used to look like that, I mused,
forgetting that my hair was done in a similar topknot and bun. That must have
been what attracted the attention of the oldest, who approached me at the table
where I sat with Jason.

“Sister, I’m not sure we’ve met,” she said.

“Annalee Nielsen,” I said, automatically.

“Whose wife are you?” she asked, with a
glare at Jason.

I came to my senses then, and spoke more
sharply than I intended. “No one’s.”

Jason raised his eyebrows, clearly
intending to make this woman leave me alone if necessary, but I put my hand on
his arm. “I no longer belong to the Church,” I said coldly. “I’ll thank you to
leave me alone.”

She sniffed and turned away, but soon
herded her younger charges out of the diner without eating.

“What was that all about?” Jason asked.

“Those were women of the RALDS,” I said.
“They must have spotted my hair and decided to discipline me for unseemly
behavior. I told you I needed to cut it.”

Jason looked out the window with interest.
“I knew there was a nest of them around here somewhere,” he said. “Word in town
was Denise White ran off with one of them. Is that who you ran away from?”

“I didn’t run away, I was taken away, after
Russ got my ex-husband in trouble. But to answer your question, yes, another
community, but Charity’s told me they’re the same, and yes, his ex-wife left
him for the community.”

“Can’t figure it,” Jason said, slipping
into the Western drawl that he sometimes used when he wasn’t thinking. “But, if
they’re going to attack you every time they see you because of your hair, then
I guess I can’t stop you from cutting it. I’d just like to see it down just
once.”

Emboldened by standing up to an older woman
of the Church, I told him, “Jason, in my world, only a husband sees a grown
woman’s hair down and free.”

“Well then,” he said, “I guess I’ll have to
marry you.”

I don’t know what my face looked like, but
I could imagine. My mouth dropped open, my eyes were wide and round, and I’m
sure the blood drained from my face before it came rushing back in a blush to
end all blushes.

“What? Oh, you’re joking. Don’t say things
like that, you’ll give me heart failure.”

“Annalee,” he said, taking my hands, “I
wasn’t joking. Maybe I should propose properly, be a little more romantic, but
I do want to marry you. Would you think about it?”

Like a fish out of water, I opened my mouth
several times before I got enough air to speak. “Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack,” he said.

“I need to think about it,” I said.

“I figured you would.”

The rest of that day was a loss. I couldn’t
concentrate even enough to file properly, so I gave up before I scrambled
papers into the wrong files. While Jason fortunately went out on listing
appointments and showings, I sat like a wooden statue, trying to think it
through.

I didn’t love him, that much I knew. If I
was honest with myself, I still loved Cody. But there was no sense going there,
because Cody was gone, and even if he wasn’t, I couldn’t saddle him with a
family to support when he could barely support himself. I tore my thoughts away
from Cody and that dead-end line of thinking, to consider Jason.

He was kind and considerate, okay, that was
in the Pro column. He was successful and had money. Pro. He liked my kids, and
treated me well. Pro. He knew about my financial troubles and wanted to marry
me anyway. Pro. What was there for the Con column again? Oh, I didn’t love him.
One Con. I didn’t know him very well, Con. He’d been upfront with me about his
family, Pro. At the end of the day, I had a column of Pros that was three times
the length of the Con.

With a little twinge of regret for love and
passion, I made the practical decision. I guessed I’d tell him yes.

~~~

It was Wednesday, Celeste
’s day off, so when I went home with my decision made, I sat down at
the kitchen table with her and Ciara and told them my news. You’d have thought
I’d dropped a rotten egg in the soup.

“Annalee, are you sure? You don’t love him,
do you?” Ciara’s cry was anguished, but I had the answer ready.

“No, I don’t. But I didn’t love Jed,
either. Love isn’t required for marriage, but security is required when you’re
a mother. I need to do this for the kids.”

“Oh, honey, don’t you think you deserve
happiness for yourself?” Celeste didn’t think much of the idea either. I
wondered if any of the sisters would support me.

“Who said I wouldn’t be happy? I was happy
when we were all in Bethel City. I can be happy anywhere.” It wasn’t strictly
the truth, but if I was going to do this, I was going to make the best of it.

“Where’s the ring?” Ciara demanded.

“He didn’t give me one,” I started. Before
I could explain, both of them started talking at once, their indignant tones
waking the children from their nap. There would be no more discussion until
bedtime. We got the kids up and took them to a nearby park for a little fresh
air, then brought them back dirty and ready to be fed. After dinner, we’d bathe
them and put them down to sleep, and then we could talk more.

Except, that’s not the way it happened. We
were in the middle of dinner when a knock came at the door. I went to answer
it, and found Jason on the front porch, on one knee, with a big bouquet of
roses in one hand and a velvet box in the other. My hand flew to my throat as I
realized this was the proper proposal he’d promised, and I gave a little squeal
that brought the others out to see what was going on.

With my sisters as witnesses, Jason said,
“Annalee, will you marry me?” I thought it was brave of him, since I hadn’t yet
told him I would. He was risking some pride, here.

“Yes, Jason, I’ll marry you.” There, I’d
said it. Now I’d have to follow through, no matter what my misgivings. Jason
asked me to come out for a ride with him, and my sisters shooed me out the
door, their objections apparently overcome by the romantic proposal.

When he had me in the car, Jason said, “Is
this a good time for me to see your hair down?”

I laughed, understanding that he was asking
for sex.
I might as well
, I thought. It would soon be his right, and at
least if he saw my hair down tonight I could get it cut. Okay, I know it wasn’t
romantic or even sexy, but that’s what I thought. “Sure,” I said.

Jason drove me to his house, which I
realized I didn’t even know where it was before. It was a nice house, far
grander than the rental that Celeste and I shared, but nowhere near as grand as
Russ’s ranch house. As he ushered me inside, I looked around curiously. “Is
this where we’ll live?” I asked.

“If you like it, yes,” he answered. “If you
don’t, we can sell this one and move somewhere else. I want you to be happy. I
know you don’t love me yet, Annalee, but if you’ll give me a chance, I’ll help
you grow to love me.”