Wrangled (17 page)

I’d forgotten that I would receive the test
results tomorrow. He seemed confident that they’d be good. I couldn’t see any
harm in going to dinner with him, so I said yes.

I didn
’t know where
I’d gone wrong, but from the way Annalee acted when I come back from my first
rodeo, it was plain as day that somethin’ was wrong. I asked her to wait in the
house for me so she wouldn’t have to hear Uncle Hank tellin’ me I’d better give
up on the rodeo, no better’n I’d done. Then Bill came runnin’ up with the news
about Abo, and I plumb forgot Annalee was waitin’ for me. After that, seemed
like she was gone before I knew it.

As the weeks went on, I sorta got used to
not seein’ Annalee, though I’d still get horny right often. I got to thinkin’
maybe I didn’t deserve her, maybe it was just a physical thing after all. Made
me kinda miserable, to tell the truth. I wasn’t at the ranch when her little
boy got bit. Damn, that was a hard thing to come home to. I thought about goin’
to the hospital, but Hank convinced me she didn’t want to see me no more.

That come home to roost when she come to
visit Tali. You’d have thought she was a porkypine, way she acted, all prickly
and ‘don’t touch me’. Made me hot under the collar, and when I kissed her
anyway, that got me hot all over. I didn’t know which way was up. There was
only one thing to do, and that was gather my courage and go talk to Miss
Charity about it.

Next day after dinner, I asked if she’d
speak to me, and she took me into the library.

“Miss Charity, I’m powerful confused about
Annalee. Way she took care of me, I thought she cared about me. But the way
she’s actin’ now, it’s like she don’t even know me. Do you know what’s goin’
on?”

“Cody, I don’t know how she feels about
you, and I don’t think she does, either. She was hurt when you seemed to forget
about her while you were out on the circuit. And you weren’t here when she
needed someone, when Al got hurt. But she cared very much for you before. Maybe
you can rekindle that, I don’t know.” Miss Charity wasn’t gonna give me
anything I could hold onto, looked like.

“It wasn’t my fault I wasn’t here,” I
complained.

“No one said it was. But, it was your
decision to leave the ranch, and by extension, leave Annalee and the kids
alone. I think she’s worried it’ll always be that way.”

“Don’t look like it,” I said glumly. “If I
cain’t place higher in the money, I ain’t got a prayer of makin’ a livin’ off
rodeoin’.”

“I’m sorry, Cody,” she said quietly. “I know
you had big dreams.”

“Still do. Just got to find a different way
of makin’ ‘em come true. My biggest dream is to marry Annalee and adopt her
kids as mine.”

Miss Charity’s eyes was all shiny when she
answered me. “Then I hope you find a way to make that come true. Annalee
deserves to be loved and to have a chance at a happy life.”

“Yes’m,” was all I had to say to that.

I thought about what to do all week, but
couldn’t get away to make the trip into town ‘cause I was fixin’ to enter a new
event. That weekend there was another rodeo to get to. I made up my mind that
if I didn’t make some over what I’d need for the next fee, I’d think about
stoppin’. No use beatin’ my head up-agin the wall, if Mr. Russ was right all
along. Maybe I just started too darn late to do any good.

Hank didn’t want me to enter a bulldoggin’
event, because it was too dangerous and might make my leg worse. But, I wasn’t
doin’ much good in calf-ropin’, so I thought maybe havin’ a second event would
be a good thing. Hank refused to have anything to do with the trainin’, even
come right out and said that I’d probly ruin Abo for calf-ropin’ by trying to
train him for another event. But bull-ridin’ and bronc-ridin’ was even more
dangerous, so I dug my heels in and asked the boss if I could wrassle some of
his steers.

“Cody, do you really think that’s wise?”
Russ asked.

“I don’t see no way of gettin’ ahead
otherwise,” I told him. “I wouldn’t ask, but it’s the only way I’d be able to
enter that event and not make a big fool of myself.”

“Well, don’t count on not making a big fool
of yourself anyhow, but tell Hank I said you could use a few to practice.”

“Uh, Boss, I don’t think Hank’s keen to
talk to me right now. He don’t want me to do this.”

“You should probably listen to him, then.
But, okay, talk to Frank Russell, then. He’s the top cowhand under Hank. And
Cody?”

“Yessir?”

“Try not to break your other leg,” he
grinned.

That evenin’, instead of practicin’ my
ropin’, I rounded up some of the guys to help me get a handle on this
steer-wrasslin’. I needed a hazer, and I needed to set up a chute and a barrier
rope and all. Probly wouldn’t be much time to get to practice until the next
night, but it all had to be set up anyway. The last time I seen Uncle Hank as
mad at me as he was that night was when I stood up to him about Annalee. I
guess he just couldn’t see I was a grown man that could make my own decisions.
I hated bein’ crosswise with him, though.

Sure enough, all we could do that night was
set up the corral like an arena, and the breakaway rope had to be pretty short,
‘cause that steer wouldn’t have far to run before he run into the fence. I did
practice kneein’ Abo into a fast start, but that wasn’t much different from
calf-ropin’. How he was gonna take it when I jumped off him headfirst, I’d find
out later.

The next evenin’ we was all set. After
dinner, a bunch of the hands was crowded round the fence. I think most of ‘em
was hopin’ I’d miss the steer and land on my head or somethin’ else they could
joke about, but I did even better’n I expected. The first steer come out and
Abo started just right when the rope broke away, we caught up to the steer
before he hit the fence, and I jumped and got him around the neck. Then I had
to hang on for my life while he went nuts. I didn’t want to drop off, ‘cause I
was afraid he’d trample me, but I didn’t have hold of the horns, so I couldn’t
twist his neck and make him flop over.

It musta been pretty comical, ‘cause all of
the hands around the fence was laughin’ and slappin’ their knees. Miguel, who
was actin’ as the hazer, had to come to my rescue by ropin’ that steer and
stoppin’ him from runnin’. I dropped off him, then stood up and dusted myself
off. I knew I’d make it worse if I let ‘em know I took offense, so I just said,
“Okay, that weren’t so bad. Let’s see if I can catch the horns this time.” That
made ‘em quiet down, so I got back up on Abo and went back to the startin’
gate.

Abo looked around at me as if to say, ‘What
the hell are you up to?’ But, he didn’t argue with me when I asked him to chase
down another steer. I’d jumped off four or five times before I got the timin’
right and finally caught that steer by the horns. Now I know what that phrase
means. When you got a steer, or a bull, by the horns, by God you need to show
‘im who’s boss in a hurry, or he’ll drag your ass all over the ring. This was
gonna take more practice than I counted on.

Two weeks after Annalee had pretty much
told me to get lost, I loaded up Abo to get to the Evanston rodeo. I wanted to
talk to Annalee in the worst way, but it would have to wait until I got back
tomorrow. At least this one wouldn’t take my whole weekend, and I had some hope
of comin’ back with some money. Maybe I could take Annalee out to dinner, sort
things out some.

~~~

Comin
’ home that
Sunday mornin’, I was lower’n a snake’s belly. Not only had I failed to place
in the money in the bulldoggin’, but I didn’t do as good in the calf-ropin’,
either. Abo didn’t remember to stop quick, so the calf didn’t get jerked off its
feet. Looked like Uncle Hank was right about not usin’ the same horse. At least
not usin’ Abo. He was still prone to argue.

After I unloaded Abo at the ranch and
unhitched the trailer, I cleaned up and then went to ask the boss if I could
borrow the truck to ride into town to speak to Annalee. He give me an errand to
do while I was at it, and that was fine. He was always good to let me borrow
the rig for the rodeos, and the least I could do was an errand now and then. By
the time I had the load of stuff he’d ordered from the ranch supply store, it
was gettin’ kinda late for dinner, but I hoped Annalee would go out for a coke
or somethin’ anyway.

I rode around lookin’ for the address the
boss had give me, and finally found it around seven o’clock. The sun would be
goin’ down in just an hour or so, and I was unhappy that it took me so long to
find her house. But, then again, maybe she’d come out and set with me on the
porch and we could use the darkness to catch up on some kissin’. I was feelin’
pretty frisky when I knocked on the door.

First thing went wrong was, it was Celeste
who opened the door. “What are you doing here?” she asked. Not even so much as
a howdy.

“I come to see Annalee, if I could,” I said,
my Stetson in my hands. “Is she home?”

“Wait there.”

Okay, I guessed I could wait outside,
though it woulda been more polite if she’d asked me to step in. I was coolin’
my heels there for quite some time before Annalee come to the door, kinda out
of breath it seemed like.

“Oh, hi, Cody. Would you like to come in?”

Well, at least she was gonna treat me
civil, it looked like. Celeste was over by the hallway, glarin’ at me like I’d
done something to her.

“Thanks for seein’ me, Annalee. How’s it
goin’?” I asked.

“It’s going,” she said. “I brought Tali
home last week, and Al came home day before yesterday. I got my real estate
license.”

“Well, good, good,” I said. Then I got
kinda tongue-tied. There was a lot I wanted to say, like I was glad Al was
gonna be okay, and I was proud of Annalee for gettin’ her real estate license.
But it just wouldn’t come out.

“Where are the kids, anyway?” I finally
managed.

“They’re playin’ in their room. I mean,
Tali and Daniel are playin’, and Al’s watchin’ ‘em. He’s still not completely
recovered,” she answered.

“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. What does the
doctor say?”

“That it could take up to six months, but
that he’ll make a full recovery. He just has to stay quiet more than he wants
to. He’s climbing the walls,” she said, smilin’ a little for the first time.

“I can understand that,” I said, seein’ an
openin’. “I like to have clumb the walls myself when I was laid up. Would have,
if it hadn’t been for you takin’ care of me. And all,” I added.

Her eyes dropped. “I was glad to do it,
Cody,” she said. I couldn’t tell whether she meant glad to take care of me, or
the other. That was what I’d come to find out. I couldn’t walk away now without
knowin’.

“Can you come outside with me for a minute,
Annalee?” I asked. “Please?” I could smell her hair, that strawberry scent that
always give me a boner since I met her, and if Celeste hadn’t been still
hangin’ around, I would have grabbed her and kissed her silly right then. But,
I wanted some privacy.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,
Cody,” she said, givin’ Celeste a glance. There it was, the answer to my
question, but it wasn’t the right answer. If I couldn’t get her outside, in
private, I couldn’t tell her what I needed to, that I loved her. That I’d give
up rodeoin’ if she wanted me to. That I wished I could see the kids, ‘cause I
missed ‘em almost as much as I missed her.

“Please,” I said, borin’ my eyes into hers
so she’d see everything I couldn’t say with Celeste standin’ there. But she
just hung her head down and shook it.

“Cody, I’m sorry, but I think you should
go,” she said.

There weren’t nothing more to say to that,
so I stood up and said ‘bye to Celeste, then walked to the door. “Not even a
goodbye kiss for old time’s sake?” I said to Annalee.

I thought I saw a pain pass over her face
when she stood up on tiptoe to kiss my cheek, but she wouldn’t let me catch her
for a real kiss.

“Bye, Cody. Call next time,” she said. I
wasn’t all that sure there’d be a next time. A man can only get his heart
stomped on just so often, before he’s not willing to put it out there anymore.
I wasn’t sure I hadn’t reached my limit.

Cody showed up unannounced the Sunday a
week after Al came home. I couldn
’t believe it when
Celeste came to tell me he was at the door, speaking in a low voice so that
Alma and Naphtali wouldn’t hear. I’d told her I didn’t think I could let them
see him anymore, because they were already attached to him. After hearing how
he’d behaved when I went to visit Tali two weeks ago, she agreed I was doing
the right thing by avoiding him. Thank goodness the kids were making enough
noise that they didn’t hear his voice.

I just couldn’t be so rude as to leave him
standing outside, but I didn’t want to be alone with him, either. Celeste was
an angel to stay with us, though Cody kept looking daggers at her. I guess he
hoped she’d go away, but she didn’t. Sisters have to stick together, we always
said.

Thank goodness he didn’t ask to see the kids,
either. I wasn’t up for a fight, I’d had too exhausting a week. After all that
happened before, the dinner with Jason to celebrate my license being approved
was nice, but tiring. I didn’t know what to say to him when he gave me a
compliment, and I wasn’t at all sure about this dating business. I felt quite
uncomfortable, in fact, when Jason held my hand, or put his arm around me. But,
he was the perfect gentleman, never going further than that, and never doing
even that in the office, after that first day. He was just what I needed right
now, steady, kind, considerate and a little boring. Boring was fine; I’d had
enough excitement for a while.

I had to admit, though, I missed being in
Cody’s arms, missed the heart-pounding ecstasy he brought me when we made love.
Even though Jason hadn’t suggested anything like that, I wondered if he could
give me the same passion. Somehow, I doubted it. So I had to weigh what was
most important, and I was rapidly coming down on the side of steady. My
children needed a father figure who wouldn’t run off to a rodeo every weekend,
someone who could provide for them, the important things like a roof over their
head, food in their bellies, clothes on their backs, and insurance in case they
had terrible accidents. I hadn’t received the hospital bill yet, but I was sure
it would give me even more to worry about.

Shutting the door behind Cody after he
left, I leaned on it for a minute, regretting the sensual kisses I’d no doubt
missed. But, it was for the best. I went to get the kids bathed and ready for
bed, wishing Cody were more like Jason, or Jason more like Cody. Together,
they’d be the perfect man. Instead I had to choose, and I was afraid that
tonight’s encounter had been that choice. Cody was gone. He probably wouldn’t come
back.

Monday I was back to work with as light a
heart as I could manage after the previous night’s upset. Jason waved at me as
I walked in, while soothing an upset seller whose open house hadn’t attracted
enough attention. I started my day as usual by putting any files in order that
Jason had used over the weekend. By the time he had finished returning calls
from Sunday, I was done with the files and asked him if I could get him some
coffee. Jason got up immediately and said he’d get me some. He was so good at
that, making me feel special and valued with the smallest gesture. It wouldn’t
have bothered me to bring him coffee, but instead he insisted on getting it for
me. What other assistant had it so good?

I smiled and recited my order. Jason winked
and said, “Same as usual.” He had it memorized already, after only a couple of
weeks. When he came back, he had a huge muffin to split with me, too.

“You’re going to make me fat,” I chided.

“Not gonna happen. You’re too thin. Are you
eating?”

“Maybe not as well as I should have, until
Al came home. But I’ll get there. I like food too much to starve myself, just
didn’t have the time to eat right while he was in the hospital. What about you?
Who does your cooking?” I asked. It had suddenly occurred to me that one thing
I could do to pay back his kindness was offer him a home-cooked meal, if he
didn’t get that all the time.

“Oh, Marie Callender does most of it,” he
joked.

“Don’t tell me you eat her TV dinners all
the time,” I said, horrified that he might say yes.

“No, not all the time. Sometimes I have
DiGiorno’s, or I go out. I see your sister at the truck stop for breakfast,
sometimes.”

“You don’t even fix your own breakfast?
That must get expensive.” Not to mention fattening and boring.

“I don’t notice, I’ve been doing it so
long. Ever since my mother passed,” he said, matter-of-factly. His face
betrayed no emotion as he said it, but my heart clutched.

“Oh, Jason, I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” I
said, thinking sadly of my own mother, who was somewhere in Mexico with my dad,
I didn’t know where.

“No reason why you should. I should tell
you about myself, though, since you shared your story with me. My mom and dad
started this brokerage, so I grew up knowing I’d be a real estate broker when I
was done with school. Never even went to college. I took my real estate classes
right after high school was out and got my license a week or so after my
eighteenth birthday. Went to work for my dad in the same position you’re
filling, until I got my own clientele. I thought I’d still be working with him
and mom until they retired, but a log truck had a different idea.” His delivery
of this bombshell was completely flat, as if it hadn’t affected him at all.

I gasped, and covered my mouth with my hand
as it fell open full of muffin crumbs. I swallowed quickly and took a sip of
coffee to wash the muffin down. “Jason, that’s awful!”

“I know,” he said. “It was just so unreal.
One minute, I’m an eighteen-year-old licensed assistant, and six months later,
I own the business. I had to hire a broker to work under until I could qualify
for the advanced license. The only thing good about it was that it was quick.
They probably never saw it coming, and they were both killed instantly. No
lingering, no pain, no living without the other. That was a mercy.” Jason
continued to recite his story as if he’d practiced it, only at the end of his
narration showing what I interpreted as regret. He either felt nothing for his
parents or his grief had burned through any display of emotion. It was
unsettling, but I took it at face value at the time.

“I’m sorry,” I said again.

“Don’t be. It was more than ten years ago.
Water under the bridge,” he said, taking my now empty cup and throwing it with
his into the nearest wastebasket.

It was so surreal to hear him saying ‘water
under the bridge’ about the death of his parents. I knew there had to be more
to the story, but I was unsettled enough now that I didn’t want to dig into it.
Instead, I laid my hand on his arm and thanked him for sharing his story. Then
I went back to my desk and began making cold calls to home owners, to see if
they wanted us to represent them in the sale of their home.

It was mind-numbing work. Eight out of ten
had no interest in selling their homes, a fact that some of them conveyed by
hanging up on me without a word. Of the other two, one might already be listed
or the owner had a favorite real estate agent. One out of ten would make an
appointment to talk with me, and of those, one or two of every ten would keep
the appointment. But, it was the way to gain a clientele, or so Jason said.

I was determined to become a successful
agent. It was the only way I could see to ever pay off the looming hospital
bill, which I had decided must be over ten thousand dollars. I could support my
kids and myself on my salary, but that bill would take the rest of my life to
pay off if I didn’t make extra money.

One day Jason took me to the Board of
Realtors meeting with him and explained the difference between a Realtor and a
real estate agent on the way. When we got there, he introduced me to several
members. When I saw how nicely dressed the other women were, I felt dowdy and
underdressed. In my navy slacks and white button-down shirt, with black flats
on my otherwise bare feet and my hair put up in its usual topknot and bun, I
looked like an assistant, not a licensed agent. The other women wore flattering
business suits or dresses, pumps and chunky jewelry to set it all off. I wore
no makeup other than a little lipstick; they were done up to the nines, with smoky
eye shadow, long mascara’d lashes, foundation, blush and maybe powder. They had
bleached hair in short, spiky styles that proclaimed them modern, competent and
business-like. Mine still looked like I’d worn it back in Bethel City. It
didn’t escape me that if I wanted to succeed, I needed to look more like these
women than my dowdy self.

On the way back to the office, I said to
Jason, “I need to find a beauty salon.”

He retorted, “You’re as beautiful as you
need to be. Why do you need one of those?”

“Because I don’t know how to put on makeup,
and I need to cut my hair, and maybe someone there can teach me how to dress.”
My cheeks were hot, so I knew I was blushing, but I rushed on with my litany
anyway. “Jason, I need to look like those women, or I’m not going to get any
clients.”

“Whoa, honey, take it a step at a time. For
one thing, you can’t cut that spectacular hair until I’ve seen it down. Then
we’ll see.”

I was shocked speechless. It was a
surprisingly intimate statement. Jason had seen me in the office, at home and
in public, so he knew I never wore my hair down. The only exception was the
bedroom. For him to say that was practically a proposition.

~~~

I forgot about all thoughts of beauty
salons and hair cutting when I got home from work that afternoon. The mail had
the dreaded hospital bill in it. I sat down, afraid to open it. Fortunately, a
distraction caused me to set it aside for the moment. Jason was on the phone,
asking if I’d be able to go to dinner. Quickly checking with Ciara, who was on
helper duty this week, I agreed, and he said he’d pick me up at seven. That
left two hours to play with my kids and get ready, so I took the coward’s way
out and set the envelope aside.

The bruises around Al’s bites were fading,
finally, but he still had random flashes of pain that made him cry out. Tali
had cried every time he did it at first, but when we told her it was because
his boo-boos hurt him, she turned into a little nurse. It was so cute to see
her put her chubby little hand on his shoulder and say, “It. Be. Okay. Al.”
Sweetheart that he was, he’d smile at her and say, “I know, Tali. Thank you.”
My kids were the most precious things in the world to me. I shuddered to think
that there could come a time when I wouldn’t be able to support them, and that
forces beyond my control might try to take them from me.

After playing with them for an hour, I took
a shower and changed into a light summer dress, perfect for the long hot
evening ahead. From last year’s experience, summer monsoon rains were about two
weeks away, and then fall chill would soon follow. Wyoming didn’t have the
normal four seasons. What we had was bitter cold, muddy cold, dry heat, and
then a few mild, beautiful days before bitter cold again. But, with my sisters
and Russ and Charity all within fifteen miles of me, it never would have
occurred to me to leave.

Jason picked me up on the dot at seven.
When I opened the door and invited him in, his face broke out in a big grin to
see that I was wearing my hair different. In honor of the special occasion, I
had divided it down a center part and French-braided it into two plaits that
flowed over my shoulders and down to my waist.

“Well, it’s not all the way down, but I
like the progress,” Jason said, winking at me.

I know I blushed. Didn’t have much choice,
with my fair skin. Unless I missed my guess, that remark was meant to be racy,
though it was innocent on the surface. “Thank you,” I said, unable to express
anything else.

Jason took me to the nicest restaurant in
Rawlins that night, ushering me in the door with his hand at the small of my
back as if he owned me. He ordered for me, a big steak that I knew I couldn’t
eat, baked potato and a glass of wine. “Jason,” I hissed, “I’m not twenty-one
yet.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t, honey,” he said
casually. I didn’t know what to think, and I didn’t like the wine much, but I
drank it just to be polite. Jason asked me questions about all my sisters at
the ranch, Charity and Russ. Seemed like he kept me talking all the time, and
didn’t give up much himself. After half the glass of wine, I was a little
dizzy, flushed and warm, and everything he said was funny. I was having a good
time, though I didn’t know why.

“Annalee, do you have room for dessert?”
Jason asked when the remains of the meal had been cleared.

“Noooooo, I can’t have dessert. I didn’t
clean my plate,” I giggled.

He laughed with me, then teased, “What if
you broke the rules just this once? If I ordered a brownie with ice cream and
Kahlua sauce, would you help me eat it?”

“Sure,” I declared. “I like brownies.” I
had no idea what Kahlua was, but how bad could it be? The dessert came a few
minutes later, with whipped cream and a cherry on top and two long-handled
spoons so we could share. I got whipped cream on my lip, and next thing I knew,
Jason was leaning toward me, I thought for a kiss. When he licked the whipped
cream off my lip, my stomach lurched. Warmth flooded me, and along with it, a
flicker of desire.