Works of Ivan Turgenev (Illustrated) (469 page)

Oh. ... Is that you? . . . that — that . . . how is it that you . . .?

Masha [hesitatingly]: It is I. What’s the matter with you?

Moshkin [quickly]: Nothing, nothing. Just so. ... I didn’t expect you. I was told that you were asleep.

Masha: Yes, I have been asleep the whole time. I got up just now.

Moshkin: And how do you feel?

Masha: Pretty well. My head aches a little.

Moshkin: That’s isn’t surprising after such a night as you passed. [Masha sits down.] So you are feeling better? Well, thank God for that. Fine day, to - day. We may take a sleigh - ride later. What do you think?

Masha: Just as you say.

Moshkin: Oh, no. Just as you like. Have I ever forced you to do anything? Whatever pleases you, will be done.

Masha: You are so kind, Mikhail Ivanych!

Moshkin [sitting down near her]: What else will you say? Well, I am anything but — however, it doesn’t make any difference. Just look at me! [She looks at him.] Oh, Masha, Masha, you have been crying again! [Masha turns her head away.] I understand, Masha, I understand. You are . . . Surely, you are doing it all to no purpose. Truly, he may yet . . . you know. [He makes uncertain mover - ments with his hand.] You’ll see. . . .

Masha: I am all right, Mikhail Ivanych.

Moshkin: What do you mean by all right? You are not all right. You are not all right. You are crying! And why? What’s the reason? Surely, I don’t deny it. . . . Yet. . . . That is, it’s understood. . . . However, we’ll see. [He wipes his face with his handkerchief.] Why did that fool Stratilat make the house so hot?

Masha: You are troubling yourself without cause, Mikhail Ivanych, truly, without cause.

Moshkin: Who told you. . . .

Masha: At least, as far as I am concerned. Believe me — [bitterly] — I am completely resigned to my fate.

Moshkin: To what do you mean you have resigned yourself?

Masha: I don’t expect anything, any more, Mikhail Ivanych. I am not wishing for anything. I don’t want to deceive myself any longer. I know that everything is over, and very likely, for the best.

Moshkin: But no. Why? . . .

Masha: Look at me now.

Moshkin: Is there? . . . [Wants to look at her but can’t.’]

Masha: Oh, Mikhail Ivanych! What’s the use of pretending? What good can it do? Whom will we deceive?

Moshkin [after a moment’s silence]: Well, yes. . . . I’m satisfied . . . that all is over. Surely, I couldn’t have expected such behavior. . . .

Masha [suddenly, with much agitation]: What do you mean to say by that?

Moshkin [confused]: I — I — that is . . . I . . .

Masha: Have you seen him to - day?

Moshkin: I — yes ... I ... I have been there.

Masha [quickly]: Well?

Moshkin: I didn’t find him home.

Masha: Then why did you say that you couldn’t — that you didn’t expect him?

Moshkin: He — surely . . . However, you yourself . . . He ... he wrote a letter to me.

Masha [quickly]: A letter?

Moshkin [forcing a smile]: Yes, a letter. Well . . . you know . . . Well, it’s not possible to say that . . .

Masha: Where is it?

Moshkin: I have it.

Masha: For Heaven’s sake, give me the letter. Mikhail Ivanych! For Heaven’s sake, give me the letter.

Moshkin: Really, I don’t know, Masha ... By right, I shouldn’t have said anything about it. I — I forgot myself a little.

Masha: Give it to me! Give it to me! Give it to me!

Moshkin [looking in his pocket]: Really, I don’t know where I put it. Really, Masha, it is in vain that . . . You are so upset now.

Masha: I am very calm. But the letter . . .

Moshkin [in despair]: But I can’t . . . Oh, Lord, Oh, Lord! I must prepare you first. I, — that is, I intended . . . Otherwise, you might imagine . . . And, . . . Oh, why did I do that, without any preparation whatever
     

Masha: You are only tormenting me . . .

Moshkin: Promise me, at least . . .

Masha: I’ll promise you anything you want, only, for Heaven’s sake . . .

Moshkin: Masha! Please don’t think ... it isn’t anything. You know, it was written on the spur of the moment. It isn’t anything yet. It can be easily mended, very easily mended. That is, — it won’t take any effort at all.

Masha: But for Heaven’s sake, give it to me.

Moshkin [taking the letter slowly from his side pocket]: Only please . . . [Masha takes the letter away from him and begins to read it eagerly. Moshkin gets up, goes a little to one side and turns away. Masha finishes reading, remains immovable for a minute; then begins to sob slowly and covers her face with her hands. Moshkin runs up to her.] Masha, Masha! For Heaven’s sake! I told you that it wasn’t anything. Masha! Masha! For the Lord’s sake, Masha! [To himself.’] Oh, you brainless, old fool! And you talked to yourself about being careful and using diplomacy! You ignoramus! Where do you come in on diplomacy? You took the letter out and gave it to her. [Turning to Masha again.] My dear! Calm yourself. Don’t cry. I promise you that I’ll bring everything in order again. Masha! You love me, and I can’t bear to see you crying. [She reaches her hand to him.] Please, don’t cry.

Masha [tearfully]: Pardon me, Mikhail Ivanych. It will soon pass. It is only the first minute . . . [Wipes her eyes with her handkerchief.]

Moshkin [sits down near her again and takes the letter away from her]: It’s nothing, Masha. That doesn’t amount to anything.

Masiia: If I hadn’t expected it — but you know, I was ready for anything. Surely, this letter, after all the promises . . . But, I didn’t deceive myself before ... I wish him all good luck. . . . [She cries.]

Moshkin: I’ll have a talk with him, Masha. Masha: On no consideration, Mikhail Ivanych. He doesn’t want me, and so, may the Lord be with him. I don’t want to force myself upon him, Mikhail Ivanych. I beg you, do you hear me? Not one word to Petr Ilich about me. I am an orphan; I have no protection. He has insulted me, and, — well, I forgive him. But I don’t want to force myself upon him. Now listen, Mikhail Ivanych: not a word, not a single word, if you love me. . . .

Moshkin: You have no protection, Masha? Where am I? Don’t I love you as though you were my own daughter?

What do you think is killing me? What’s killing me, is the thought, so to say, that I am, really, the true cause. I worked up the whole thing. He has hurt me, — there is no denying that. He has bluffed me. But, what of that? Are we, on account of it, to drop this matter? Bow to him, and let him go? No, that’s impossible. Moreover, he may come to his senses, himself. I brought him here the other time.

Masha: And it was quite useless. What good came of it? You see for yourself.

Moshkin: But — well, Masha, what else could I do? I let you judge. Put yourself in my place. It wasn’t so very long ago, that everything looked promising. If you hadn’t been willing to postpone the wedding, you would have been a married woman by this time. How do you expect me then, to break everything off, and all at once? This seems more like a dream, a fog. Look! Suddenly, you and I will wake up and find everything as it was. Why should he withdraw? Why? Why? Aren’t you attractive?

Masha [languidly]: You are very kind, Mikhail Ivanych. You love me, and that is why you like everything about me. But he — No, I am not what he wants. At first, it is true, I interested him. And afterwards ... I noticed it long ago, Mikhail Ivanych, but I did not tell you, because, I was afraid it would vex you. Look at his friends. How can we compare ourselves with them? We are too simple for them, Mikhail Ivanych. We are too low. He despises us, that’s all.

Moshkin: Despises us? He didn’t despise the money he has taken from me. Because he has a German friend, he has forgotten himself. That isn’t anything. No, my boy, you haven’t struck the right fellow. . . .

Masha: What’s the use of talking like this, Mikhail Ivanych? What good will it do? We can’t bring back the past.

Moshkin: But, my dear girl, think, what they will say? Masha, what will they say? . . .

Masha: Well, what can we do, Mikhail Ivanych?

Moshkin: What we can do is just what I am worrying about.

Masha [after a moment’s silence]: We can do nothing. Only ... I can’t remain here any longer.

Moshkin: W - h - a - t?

Masha: I must — leave you, Mikhail Ivanych.

Moshkin: Why so? What does that mean? Has your aunt put something into your head?

Masha: Auntie did say something about it. However, I thought of it myself, too. Believe me, Mikhail Ivanych, my heart is bleeding at the very thought of parting from you.

Moshkin: You had better tell me to jump out of the window and die. Masha! Are you in your right senses? Where will you go? Please, tell me, where will you go? Oh, that old witch! I can see plainly enough, that she wants to kill me. But why do you, Masha, want to kill me? What is the matter with you?

Masha: Mikhail Ivanych! Listen to me, impartially, and you will agree with me.

Moshkin: I shall never agree with you, never agree with you, my dear.

Masha: Listen: you took me into your house right after mother died. You alone cared for me. Finally, you introduced me to Petr Ilich. Then, all this happened: He proposed to me and now he has withdrawn. Think of my condition now, Mikhail Ivanych. What will people think of me?

Moshkin: What will people think?

Masha [hurriedly]: I am, after all, a stranger to you, Mikhail Ivanych. They will say: “He jilted her. Well, what does she care? She is a charge, and is eating her bread for nothing.” They’ll say, that I was engaged, and now, that he has thrown me over, it is nothing; I ought to be thankful for that much attention; that it serves me right, because no one is responsible for me; that had I lived with my relatives, it would never have happened. But a stranger’s bread tastes better. They may also say that I am lazy and don’t want to work. Now try to understand my position, Mikhail Ivanych. I love you more than any one in this world, but what can I do? Until now, I could live here, but now ... I cannot remain here. I simply cannot. Why should I stand that contempt? Judge for yourself. I will be able to earn my living.

Moshkin: I can’t understand a word; positively, I can’t understand you. What about leaving? What about contempt? Who will dare? . . . The Lord be with you, Masha. Who is responsible for you? I am responsible for you. I wouldn’t let anyone get the best of me. I’ll show that to the whole world, and I’ll show it to that molly - coddle, too.