Wool (62 page)

She read folded notes for days and cried. Lukas sat by her side, collecting the ones that spilled to the floor like paper planes tossed from landings. He apologized over and over, blubbering like he was the one who’d done it. Juliette read all of them a dozen times, trying to keep straight who was gone and who was still signing their name. She couldn’t believe the terrible news about Knox. Some things seemed immutable, like the great stairway. She wept for him and for Marck, wanted desperately to see Shirly, was told that she couldn’t.

Ghosts visited her when the lights were out. Juliette would wake up, eyes crusted over, pillow wet, Lukas rubbing her forehead and telling her it would be okay.

Peter came often. Juliette thanked him over and over. It was all Peter, all Peter. He had made the choice. Lukas told her of the stairway, his march to cleaning, hearing her voice on Peter’s radio, the implications of her being alive.

Peter had taken the risk, had listened. That had led to him and Lukas talking. Lukas had said forbidden things, was in no danger of being sent anyplace worse, said something that confused her about being a bad virus, a catching cold. The radio barked with reports from Mechanical of people surrendering. Bernard sentenced them to death anyway.

And Peter had a decision to make. Was he the final law, or did he owe something to those who put him in place? Did he do what was right or what was expected of him? It was so easy to do the latter, but Peter Billings was a good man.

Lukas told him so on that stairwell. He told him that this was where they’d been put by fate, but what they did going forward defined them. That was who they were.

He told Peter that Bernard had killed a man. That he had proof. Lukas had done nothing to deserve this.

Peter pointed out that every ounce of IT security was a hundred levels away. There was only one gun up top. Only one law.

His.

The three of them sat around the conference table, Juliette adjusting the gauze bandage on her hand to cover the raised lace of scar tissue peeking out. The overalls they’d given her were loose to minimize the pain, but the undershirt itched everywhere it touched. She sat in one of the plush chairs and rolled back and forth with the push of her toes, impatient, ready to get out of there. But Lukas and Peter had things to discuss. They had escorted her this close to the exit, this close to the great stairwell, only to sit her down in that room. To get some
privacy,
they had said. The looks on their faces made her nervous.

Nobody said anything for a while. Peter used the excuse of sending a tech for some water, but when the pitcher came and the glasses were filled, nobody reached for a drink. Lukas and Peter exchanged nervous glances. Juliette grew tired of waiting.

“What is it?” she asked. “Can I go? I feel like you’ve been delaying this for days.” She glanced at her watch, wiggled her arm so it would fall from the bandage on her wrist and she could see the tiny face. She stared across the table at Lukas and had to laugh at the worry on his face. “Are you trying to keep me here forever? Because I told everyone in the deep that I’d be seeing them tonight.”

Lukas turned to Peter.

“C’mon, guys. Spit it out. What’s troubling you? The doc said I was fine for the trip down and I told you I’d check in with Marsh and Hank if I had any problems. I’m gonna be late enough as it is if I don’t get a move on.”

“Okay,” Lukas said, letting out a sigh. It was as though he’d given up on Peter being the one. “It’s been a few weeks—”

“And you two’ve made it feel like months.” She twisted the dial on the side of her watch, an ancient tic returning like it had never left.

“It’s just that”—Lukas coughed into his fist, clearing his throat—“we couldn’t give you
all
the notes that were sent to you.” He frowned at her, looked guilty.

Juliette’s heart dropped. She sagged forward, waiting for it. More names would be coming to move from one sad list to another—

Lukas held up his palms. “Nothing like that,” he said quickly, recognizing the worry on her face. “God, sorry, nothing like that—”

“
Good
news,” Peter said. “Congratulatory notes.”

Lukas shot him a look that told Juliette she might think otherwise.

“Well … it is
news
.” He looked across the table at her. His hands were folded in front of him, resting on the marred wood, just like hers. It felt as though they might both move them several inches until they met, until fingers interlocked. It would be so natural after weeks of practice. But that was something worried friends did in hospitals, right? Juliette pondered this while Lukas and Peter went on about elections.

“Wait. What?” She blinked and looked up from his hands, the last part coming back to her.

“It was the
timing,
” Lukas explained.

“You were all anyone was talking about,” Peter said.

“Go back,” she said. “
What
did you say?”

Lukas took a deep breath. “Bernard was running unopposed. When we sent him out to cleaning, the election was called off. But then news got around about your miraculous return, and people showed up to vote anyway—”

“A
lot
of people,” Peter added.

Lukas nodded. “It was quite a turnout. More than half the silo.”

“Yeah, but …
mayor
?” She laughed and looked around the scratched conference table, bare except for the untouched glasses of water. “Isn’t there something I need to sign? Some official way to turn this nonsense down?”

The two men exchanged glances.

“That’s sorta the thing,” Peter said.

Lukas shook his head. “I
told
you—”

“We were hoping you’d accept.”

“Me?
Mayor?
” Juliette crossed her arms and sat back, painfully, against the chair. She laughed. “You’ve gotta be kidding. I wouldn’t know the first thing about—”

“You wouldn’t have to,” Peter said, leaning forward. “You have an office, you shake some hands, sign some things, make people feel better—”

Lukas tapped him on the arm and shook his head. Juliette felt a flush of heat across her skin, which just made her scars and wounds itch more.

“Here’s the thing,” Lukas said as Peter sat back in his chair. “We
need
you. There’s a power vacuum at the top. Peter’s been in his post longer than anyone, and you know how long that’s been.”

She was listening.

“Remember our conversations all those nights? Remember you telling me what that other silo was like? Do you understand how close to that we got?”

She chewed her lip, reached for one of the glasses, and took a long drink of water. Peering over the lip of the glass, she waited for him to continue.

“We have a chance, Jules. To hold this place together. To put it
back
to—”

She set the glass down and lifted her palm for him to stop.

“If we were to do this,” she told them coolly, looking from one of their expectant faces to the other. “
If
we do it, we do it my way.”

Peter frowned.

“No more lying,” she said. “We give truth a chance.”

Lukas laughed nervously. Peter shook his head.

“Now, listen to me,” she said. “This isn’t crazy. It’s not the first time I’ve thought this through. Hell, I’ve had weeks of nothing
but
thinking.”

“The truth?” Peter asked.

She nodded. “I know what you two are thinking. You think we need lies, fear—”

Peter nodded.

“But what could we invent that’s scarier than what’s
really out there
?” She pointed toward the roof and waited for that to sink in. “When these places were built, the idea was that we were all in this together. Together but separate, ignorant of one another, so we didn’t infect the others if one of us got sick. But I don’t
want
to play for that team. I don’t agree with their cause. I refuse.”

Lukas tilted his head. “Yeah, but—”

“So it’s us against them. And not the people in the silos, not the people working day-to-day who don’t know, but those at the top who
do
. Silo eighteen will be different. Full of knowledge, of
purpose
. Think about it. Instead of manipulating people, why not
empower
them? Let them know what we’re up against. And have
that
drive our collective will.”

Lukas raised his eyebrows. Peter ran his hands up through his hair.

“You guys should think about it.” She pushed herself away from the table. “Take your time. I’m going to go see my family and friends. But either I’m in, or I’ll be working against you. I’ll be spreading the truth one way or the other.”

She smiled at Lukas. It was a dare, but he would know she wasn’t joking.

Peter stood and showed her his palms. “Can we at least agree not to do anything rash until we meet again?”

Juliette crossed her arms. She dipped her chin.

“Good,” Peter said, letting out his breath and dropping his arms.

She turned to Lukas. He was studying her, his lips pursed, and she could tell he knew. There was only one way this was going forward, and it scared the hell out of him.

Peter turned and opened the door. He looked back at Lukas.

“Can you give us a second?” Lukas asked, standing up and walking toward the door.

Peter nodded. He turned and shook Juliette’s hand as she thanked him for the millionth time. He checked his star, which hung askew on his chest, and then left the conference room.

Lukas crossed out of sight of the window, grabbed Juliette’s hand, and pulled her toward the door.

“Are you kidding me?” she asked. “Did you really think I would just accept that job and—?”

Lukas pressed his palm against the door and forced it shut. Juliette faced him, confused, then felt his arms slide gently around her waist, mindful of her wounds.

“You were right,” he whispered. He leaned close, put his head by her shoulder. “I’m stalling. I don’t want you to go.”

His breath was warm against her neck. Juliette relaxed. She forgot what she was about to say. She wrapped an arm around his back, held his neck with her other hand. “It’s okay,” she said, relieved to hear him say it, to finally admit it. And she could feel him trembling, could hear his broken and stuttered exhalations.

“It’s okay,” she whispered again, pressing her cheek against his, trying to comfort him. “I’m not going anywhere for good—”

Lukas pulled away to look at her. She felt him searching her face, tears welling up in his eyes. His body had started shaking. She could feel it in his arms, his back.

And then she realized, as he pulled her close and pressed his lips against hers, that it wasn’t fear or panic she was sensing in him. It was
nerves
.

She whimpered into their kiss, the rush to her head better than the doctor’s drugs. It washed away any pain caused by his hands clutching her back. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt lips move against her own. She kissed him back, and it was over too soon. He stepped away and held her hands, glanced nervously at the window.

“It’s a … uh …”

“That was nice,” she told him, squeezing his hands.

“We should probably …” He jerked his chin toward the door.

Juliette smiled. “Yeah. Probably so.”

He walked her through the entrance hall of IT and to the landing. A tech was waiting with her shoulder bag. Juliette saw that Lukas had padded the strap with rags, worried about her wounds.

“And you’re sure you don’t need an escort?”

“I’ll be fine,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ears. She shrugged the bag higher up her neck. “I’ll see you in a week or so.”

“You can radio me,” he told her.

Juliette laughed. “I know.”

She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, then turned to the great stairwell. Someone in the passing crowd nodded at her. She was sure she didn’t know him but nodded back. Other chins were turning to follow her. She walked past them and grabbed that great curved bar of steel that wound its way through the heart of things, that held those pouting and worn treads together as life after life was ground away on them. And Juliette lifted her boot to that first step on a journey far too long in coming—

“Hey!”

Lukas called after her. He ran across the landing, his brows lowered in confusion. “I thought you were heading
down,
going to see your friends.”

Juliette smiled at him. A porter passed by, loaded down with his burdens. Juliette thought of how many of her own had recently slipped away.

“Family first,” she told Lukas. She glanced up that great shaft in the center of the humming silo and lifted her boot to the next tread. “I’ve got to go see my father first.”

Q
: Is this really the end?!

A
: To quote every one of my favorite kung-fu movies:
Every end is a new beginning
. There are many more stories to tell. Not just the rest of silo 18’s story, but the future of silo 17, which is about to change. And then there are all the
other
silos crowding in around them. You won’t
believe
what’s going on in silo 40!

Q
: Why are these books so cheap?

A
: Because I’m a big fat nobody, that’s why! Until you have a name for yourself, you are forced to strum your guitar in subway stations and scribble your poetry on bathroom stalls. Later, people will pay for that stuff instead of drawing penises on it. I agonized over charging even this much for the series, but I figure it’s still cheaper than buying the books individually. And for those who keep telling me I’m insulting them by taking so little of their money, I take donations at my website!

Q
: Can I tell you how awesome I think these books are?

A
: Why yes you can! Even better if you tell others or write a review. I read every single review on Amazon, I promise. This is how books are discovered, so if you want other readers to find the books you’re enjoying, take a few minutes and craft a review. Do it for all the books you enjoy. As writers, our souls subsist on your feedback. It means a lot to us!