Wolfsong (44 page)

I didn’t stand. I felt heavy, weighted.

He made his way to the office door. His hand was on a doorknob when he stopped. “You know,” he said without turning around. “There was something about him. When he said your name. There was this… light. In his eyes. I thought maybe he was all rage and anger, lost to his wolf. An Alpha Omega, maybe. Violet and red mixing together. But he said your name and… I don’t know. There was something different about him, then. It felt… green? I don’t know if that makes sense. Thought you should know.”

Then he was gone.

STAND DOWN.
false alarm. just some kids. broke a window.

The pack responded immediately with messages of relief.

are you sure?
Elizabeth asked.

yes

She didn’t respond.

I stayed in the office long into the night.

Not yet
, I thought.

Not yet.

I DIDN’T
tell them about David King.

It seemed easier that way.

ROBBIE KISSED
me toward the end of the third year.

I wish that I said I could have seen it coming.

I didn’t, though. That one was on me.

One moment we were walking through the woods, just him and me as I tried to do with each of my Betas, laughing and talking about nothing in particular, and the next his lips were on mine—clumsy things—his hands against my chest, his breath on my face. He was warm and sweet, and I hated myself that I didn’t push him away. I could say that I was startled. I could say that I didn’t expect it. But the fact remains I didn’t push him away, not at first.

I didn’t kiss him back.

I just stood there, laughter dying in my throat.

Hands at my sides. Eyes wide.

He didn’t move much, just a press that held for one and two and three and
four
and then he stepped away, heart jackrabbiting around in his chest, lips slick. His tongue darted out quickly, like he was chasing the taste of me.

We stared at each other.

I didn’t know what to do.

He said, “Ox, I—”

I held up my hand.

I thought on it. I really did.

Because it’d be so easy.

To take. Right here. Right now.

I hadn’t been with anyone since before Joe.

I hadn’t planned on it, either.

But I wasn’t sure where I fit with Joe’s plans anymore.

And it would be so easy.

And I liked him. Robbie. I really did. He was nice. And kind. And handsome. Anyone would be lucky to have that.

And I could.

But I could never give him what he wanted. What he deserved. Because Robbie deserved someone who could give their whole heart.

And I’d given mine away a long time ago to a blue-eyed boy who’d stood on a dirt road and waited for me.

“Robbie,” I sighed.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he mumbled, looking down and scuffing a boot in the dirt.

“Maybe,” I said. “But it’s not a bad thing.”

“It’s not?” A faint glimmer of hope.

“Because it can’t be a thing at all.”

He sighed, shoulders slumping. “Because of Joe?”

“Because of Joe.”

“He’s not here.”

“No. He’s not.”

“Ox.”

“He’s not here. But that doesn’t matter to me. Maybe one day, it will. But not now.”

“I just—I just wanted—”

I said, “Hey. It’s nothing to worry about. It’s okay. It happens.”

He was getting frustrated. “You’re my friend,” he said. “And my Alpha. I just… I want to
be
something. For you. I know you had Jessie… before. And I thought… maybe I could be after. If there could be an after.”

“You already are something to me.” I reached out and hooked my fingers under his chin to tilt his head up. “You’re more than I could have hoped for.”

He gave me a pained smile. “But not enough.”

“It’s not about being enough,” I said. “It’s about what’s right. I’m not right for you because I’m right for someone else. You’ll feel the same one day. When you meet them.”

He gave a short bark of laughter. “Maybe. But….” He shook his head. “No one has believed in me like you have. I don’t know if I want to feel any different.”

“You’re my friend,” I told him quietly. “And that is good enough for me. I hope it can be good enough for you.”

He nodded, and I dropped my hand.

We continued walking through the trees.

After a while, he said, “You must really love him. To do what you’ve done.”

“He’d do the same for me,” I said, knowing it was true. No matter how else I felt, I believed that with everything I had.

And we walked on.

THAT NIGHT,
I dreamt of him.

He was waiting for me on the dirt road, the sun filtering through the leaves, little splashes of light on the ground like puddles of rippling water. He smiled so brightly as I reached my hand for his, our fingers curling together like they always had.

We walked slowly toward the house at the end of the lane.

We didn’t speak.

We didn’t have to.

It was enough just to
be
.

ROBBIE WAS
awkward around me for a few weeks after that. He stammered and blushed and avoided me when he could.

Elizabeth smiled and said it happened every now and then.

“He’d be very lucky,” she said to me as we sat on the porch watching the sunset. “Both of you would.”

“I belong to someone else,” I said.

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“I’m glad for that.”

And she never brought it up again.

MORE OMEGAS
came.

We were stronger then.

Better. Faster.

More complete.

They prowled the edges of the wards, teeth snapping. There had to be at least fifteen of them. Maybe twenty.

“Human,” one spat at me.

I said, “I’ll only tell you once.”

Violet eyes flared.

“Leave. While you still can.”

They snarled at me.

I tapped my crowbar against my shoulder. “If that’s the way it’s going to be.”

My pack roared behind me, humans and wolves alike.

The Omegas took a step back, suddenly unsure.

But that was as far as they got.

THREE YEARS.

One month.

Twenty-six days.

home

IT WAS
a Wednesday.

We were at the garage when I felt the wards change. Like they were shifting. Like they were breaking.

I was in the office, and it felt like I’d been struck by lightning.

“The fuck was that?” I heard Tanner say out in the shop as he dropped something metal to the floor.

“Jesus Christ,” Rico muttered.

“Ox?” Chris called out. “You—”

The door to the waiting area slammed open, Robbie skittering through the garage as he ran toward the office. “Did you feel that?” he demanded as he came through the door. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I said through gritted teeth, even though it felt like my skin was electrified. “It was the wards. Something happened to them.”

Robbie paled. “More Omegas?”

I shook my head. “Something different. Something else.” The others crowded in the doorway, Chris’s phone already to his ear even as mine rang. I heard Chris say something to Jessie as soon as she picked up. “Elizabeth,” I breathed as I put my own phone to my ear.

“You felt it,” she said.

“Yes. What is it?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Something is coming.”

“Were the wards broken?”

“No. I don’t think—it’s like they changed. Somehow.”

“Robert?”

“I don’t know. Ox. I think it’s coming this way.”

“You stay there,” I growled. “With Mark. We’re coming.”

“Be careful.”

I hung up the phone.

“You hear that?” Chris said to Jessie. “Get to the house.”

“Keep her on the phone,” I told Chris. “I don’t want her there before us.” Chris nodded as I stood. “Robbie, Tanner, with me. Rico, go with Chris. You follow behind us. We get to Jessie, she leaves her car there and gets in with you. Understood?”

They nodded, eyes narrowed, teeth bared.

WE REACHED
the dirt road without seeing anyone, though the electric feeling intensified the closer we got. I gripped the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. My teeth were clenched and I was
angry
.

Jessie was already waiting for us and she didn’t hesitate, moving from her vehicle in with Chris and Rico, hair pulled back, staff clutched in her hands. I watched in the rearview mirror until she shut the door, then took off down the road, dust kicking up in plumes behind us.

We passed the old house first. It stood as it always did.

The house at the end of the lane was the same. Elizabeth and Mark were waiting for us on the porch, half-shifted, eyes bright even in the sunlight.

“Anything?” I demanded as I threw open the door to the truck.

“No,” Mark said. “No one has approached the house.”

“They will,” Elizabeth said, looking off into the trees.

I walked backward toward the porch, scanning the tree line. Everything looked the same. The trees swayed, the birds sang. The territory felt like
mine
, like
ours
. But there was something else there, sliding along on top of it, not quite fitting, but close. I didn’t know if this was Richard and Robert, trying to trick us. Because even though my skin was crawling, it felt like something I should recognize, but it was making me anxious. Snappish. I wanted to prowl in front of the house, warning any intruders away.

The others gathered behind us on the porch, spread out in the formation we had trained with so many times. They didn’t need to be told. They just knew. The wolves were spread out amongst the humans, claws out and ready. I could feel their strength at my back, all of them, and I hoped whoever was stupid enough to come at us felt it too before we made sure they wouldn’t do it again.

The electricity intensified.

“It’s coming from the north,” Mark muttered. “From the clearing.”

It was also moving.

“What is it?” Rico asked, sounding nervous.

“I don’t know,” Mark said. “It’s almost like—”

The wolves all tensed, hearing something that we couldn’t.

“Four of them,” Robbie growled. “Moving fast.”

“Stand together,” I said. “Whatever it is, we stand together—”

I heard it now. In the forest. The footsteps, the running strides. A flash of color in the thick trees, something red and something orange and it—

“Oh my god,” Elizabeth said, because she understood first.

ONCE, WHEN
it was just the two of us at the house, she’d decided it was time to play Dinah Shore again. Joe and the others had been gone for almost two years.

She put the old record on, and while the singer crooned about being lonely, she looked at me and asked me to dance.

“I don’t know how,” I said, trying not to blush.

“Nonsense,” she said. “Everyone can if they can count.”

She took my hand.

She moved slowly with me as she counted out the steps, my hand dwarfing hers. She moved us in a circle, the song repeating over and over again.

When she no longer needed to count, when I felt the song seep into my bones, she said, “We stayed behind because we had to.”

I stuttered in my step, but caught myself before it got out of control. She smiled quietly at me as I counted under my breath.

Then, “Did we?”

We moved and swayed.

She said, “We did. They didn’t want to leave us, Ox. None of them. Joe. Gordo. Carter and Kelly. Thomas. Your mother. None of them wanted to leave.”

“They did, though. All of them.”

“Sometimes,” she said as we spun lazily, “the choices are taken out of our hands. Sometimes, we don’t want to leave, even though we feel we must.”

“He didn’t
have
—”

“You think him selfish,” she said. “And you may be right. But never forget that everything he does, he also does for you. And there will come a time when you will see him again. It’ll be up to you what happens next.”

“I’m angry,” I admitted. “So angry.”

“I know,” she said, squeezing my hands. “It’s why we’re dancing. I find it hard to be angry when I’m dancing. There’s just something about it that doesn’t foster rage.”

“Do you think…?”

“What, Ox?”

“Do you think he’ll come back?”

She said, “Yes, I do. He’ll always come back for you.”

And we danced.

And danced.

And danced
.

“OH MY
god,” Elizabeth Bennett said.

“What is it?” Rico asked, voice higher than normal. “Is it the bad guys? Is it
the bad wolves
—”

“No,” Mark said. “It’s not. It’s an Alpha. It’s—”

Robbie’s hand dropped onto my shoulder, claws piercing through my work shirt and dimpling my skin. It grounded me, made me realize I wasn’t dreaming, that I was awake, since I couldn’t feel pain in a dream. There was pain. Sharp pain that was mostly bearable.

“Ox,” Tanner said in a low voice. “What do we do? What do we—”

They didn’t need to do anything.

Four men walked from among the trees. All of them had their heads shaved. The one in the front, the Alpha, had a beard, dirty blond and full. He was the same size as the other two wolves, large and intimidating, moving with a grace he hadn’t had before. The fourth man moved with them, smaller than the others, but his tattoos were as bright as they’d ever been, the raven fluttering on his arm.

They all looked similar to each other. They wore dusty black jeans, scuffed boots. Worn jackets. The man with the tattoos had his sleeves pushed up, exposing the bright colors on his arms.

The other two wolves moved like they were orbiting their Alpha, never more than a foot or two away.

They approached slowly but surely, only stopping once their feet touched dirt. They took a formation much like our own, moving in sync with each other, the witch next to the Alpha, the two Betas on either side of them. It was practiced. They’d done it before. Many, many times.