Wolf Women (The Madison Wolves Book 10) (30 page)

I'd talked to Portia, of course, and she was on board.

"What's going on, Mom?" Ember asked. "And why do I think I'm the one you haven't talked to yet?"

"Because you are a very smart girl," I replied. "I asked Hadley to check into something for me."

But then I was afraid to say more. What if she wasn't interested? What if she said 'yes' only to please me? What if...

"Just say it, Mom."

"Well, your mothers love you very much." Then I stopped again.

Ember put her hand on her hip. "If you can't tell me, I bet Hadley can."

I muttered about uppity teenagers. "I was sort of wondering if you would let Portia and I adopt you."

She cocked her head and put on a puzzled expression. "I thought you already had."

"As far as the pack is concerned," Lara said, "they have."

Ember looked at her, then at Hadley. "But the state of Wisconsin has other ideas."

"Legally, we are your foster moms and your guardians," I said. "But we're not your adopted moms."

"So it's kind of like getting married," she said. "You two were already mated, but now you're married."

"Right."

"And I'd change my name."

I nodded. "I would want you to, but it would be your decision."

"Ember Louise Fleming," she said slowly. She began to grin. "Do I get a party?"

Portia snorted then said, "Yes."

"And gifts? I'll need a car."

I laughed. "Nice try."

She looked at Hadley. "What do I sign?"

"There's a process," Hadley said. "Alpha, do we have your permission?"

Lara didn't hesitate. "Absolutely. As far as I'm concerned, Zoe and Portia are already Ember's mothers."

She turned to Portia and me. "Do you want me to proceed?"

I looked at Portia. "Yes," she said. "Absolutely."

And then she pulled Ember and me into a tight, tight, three-way hug, kissing each of us.

I cried.

So did Ember.

And I thought I saw tears in Portia's eyes, too, but she denied it.

Sunday was paintball. We didn't go every month, but we went often. Even though I had learned more about what to expect, I wasn't very good, and I never would be. Even toning down their athletic abilities, the wolves were too fast for me to hit on the run, and I was slow enough they could hit me even while I was trying to dodge.

But I didn't care, and everyone had fun. And the only game that really mattered to me was the last one, the corrupt guard game. I typically paid more bribes than I won for myself, but it was fun to see what bribes people wanted. I'd been freed for hugs and received demands -- that I didn't pay -- for hours of labor. Most payments were somewhere in between.

My least favorite games were the instant elimination games, where if you were shot, you were done. In those games, I could either play like a frightened rabbit or I could do my best. If I played the former style, I wasn't any help to my team. If I played the latter, I didn't last long.

But we played a few games where you respawned and one, similar to the corrupt guard game, where you could be taken prisoner when shot.

I thought blob was okay, but even I felt a little cheated that no one won or lost. We always played one or two games of blob to kick things off. It was a good thing I didn't turn competitive with the wolves, or I would have been deeply frustrated. But even I thought that if we were shooting each other with paintball guns, there should be winners and losers. Still, blob was a good way to warm up. You got a lot of experience to remind yourself how to play, and I internally kept score of how many I shot as compared to how many times I was shot.

What happened during paintball helps to illustrate both how I fit in with the pack and an important attribute of the three-way relationship between Portia, Ember and me.

Most of the time, even though Portia was the wolf, it felt like Ember saw me as Mom number one and Portia as Mom number two. Because of our schedules, Ember certainly spent more time with me than she did with Portia. Even when we did physical activities like kayaking, they didn't kayak together, away from me. Chances were, Portia would be on duty, so she would be watching over Michaela. Ember would spend some time with me and some time with her friends. Or, if Portia were free to do so, she tended to stay with me. She and Ember didn't even race, or not very often. Portia was a big, strong enforcer, and Ember was of moderate size and strength for a wolf, and still a teenager besides. Racing would have been very one-sided.

But at paintball, the dynamics were different.

* * * *

When we arrived at the paintball park, Ember was already there, waiting with Monique and Monique's parents, Faith and Brendon. Unlike a human teenager might have, she didn't even try to play it cool. As soon as we were out of the car, she ran to us. Portia and I both received hugs and kisses, and then Ember inserted herself between us, wrapping an arm around each of us.

"Did you have a nice time?"

"Yep," she said. "Aunt Prudence says 'hi'."

I deeply valued Ember's obvious, public love and affection. It was very wolf-like, although Ember was more open with her affection than most of the other teenagers were with their parents. I never asked either her or Portia about it, but I decided this was Ember's way to continually acknowledge her pleasure at being a member of our family.

We received our briefing from Michaela and Lara, and then we went through the check in process. It was forty minutes later that we assembled at our first field. Ember moved away with us, and a moment later, she and Monique stepped into the center of our circle. "Monique and I are organizing the first game. It will be blob, of course."

"We're splitting partners up," Monique said. She looked around. "Zoe, you're on my team. The rest of the partners split off to join Ember or me. If you're not in a steady relationship, fill in on whatever team you like, and then we'll adjust."

I got a hug from Monique, and then more hugs from several other team members as they joined us. Ten minutes later, the game started. We wore red armbands, and Ember's team wore blue.

Monique called for a rush style, which always led to the greatest amount of chaos and had the side effect of leaving me behind, as they moved too quickly for me. I moved more slowly, working my way forward, making quick dashes from one point of protection to another. At first the only activity I saw, once the wolves had moved out ahead of me, were the wolves from the blue team, guns held in the air, running back to our side for the team switch; they had been hit.

I worked my way up the right side, and then ahead of me and to the left, closer towards the center of the field, I saw a couple of my teammates hunkered down, exchanging fire with the opposing team. I couldn't call it Ember's team, as I had no idea if she'd been shot and had switched sides already. So I guess I saw red armbands firing towards what I assumed were blue armbands.

I thought, 'I might actually be able to flank them.' I moved further right, sneaking ahead and trying to avoid notice. I could just catch a glimpse of someone's shoe and was taking aim when I got hit in my backside.

Twice.

I stood up with my gun in the air, "I'm hit!" then turned around to see who had gotten me, as if I didn't know.

Both my girls were grinning at me. "We got you, Mom!" Ember called out.

"You sure did."

"See you soon, Honey," Portia added.

I was sure they would.

With my gun in the air, I ran to the far end of the field and switched armbands, then worked my way back to the front lines, trying to hook up with Portia and Ember. I thought maybe they would fall back to connect with me.

Instead, I arrived at the spot, peeked over a barrel and was shot right between the eyes.

"Got you, Honey," Portia called out.

I ran back to the original base, switched back to red armbands, and made my way to the other side this time. If Portia and Ember were on the right, I'd play to the left side.

I managed to shoot Elisabeth, which pleased me to no end, and I got one of the kids, too; it might have been Dawson. But then Ember got me again.

All in all, I switched sides six times before the game was over, four of them to either Portia or Ember. Afterwards, while the game was being dissected, Ember grinned at me. I was left wondering if they had been letting themselves get shot just so they could remain on the opposite team from me, but when I quietly asked Portia, she offered a hurt expression. I thought it was a put on, but I didn't make any further accusations.

For the immediately eliminated games, things went differently. It was hit or miss what team I was on; sometimes I was partnered with Portia or Ember, sometimes I wasn't. But over the months, I had seen times they intentionally withdrew from a confrontation with me, electing to not shoot me. Portia even let me shoot her once when she easily had the drop on me, although she admitted later it hadn't been as intentional as it seemed.

But in the last game before lunch, we played one of the games where you were captured.

The rules were similar as for the corrupt guard game, but you couldn't bribe your guards. Instead, the rules were closer to those for a traditional game of capture the flag, except there wasn't any flag. Instead, you had to overwhelm the opposing team's base. Anyone shot could be taken prisoner, although the rules were different. If you were shot, you stood up, announcing you were hit, with your gun held over your head. But rather than someone coming to you to take you prisoner, you had to move to the nearest opposing player and turn yourself in. Once you were touching that person, he or she was immune to being shot until you were delivered to jail.

But prisoners, once in jail, could be freed by, of all things, shooting them.

Unsurprising, I found myself on opposite teams from Portia and Ember.

I actually avoided capture for the first ten minutes of the game. I didn't catch anyone myself, but I held a few pinned down, and others on my team were able to flank and capture them. I was pleased by that.

But, of course, I was eventually shot. I think Portia grew frustrated. We'd caught sight of each other, and she had immediately moved towards me, but I retreated to a good, defensive position, and there was enough coverage from my teammates that she couldn't get any closer. But suddenly she roared and popped out of her hiding place, running and weaving towards me, firing quickly in all directions, trying to pin down my teammates. I fired at her repeatedly, missing every time, and I wasn't the only one. She came around my hiding place, popped two paintballs into me from far closer than I liked being shot, then dived down next to me.

I surrendered to her.

"I finally got you," she said, and I could hear the cheer in her voice.

"Why me?" I asked.

"I like it when you're my prisoner. Come along, prisoner. Step lively, prisoner."

She escorted me safely behind the front lines, and we came upon Ember. "Can I have her, Mom?"

"Sure, honey," Portia said, handing me off. And so it was Ember that escorted me to jail.

"You two sure like catching me," I said. "It's not like it's hard."

"Well, it's not like I can catch Portia Mom," Ember replied. Then she made a point of calling me 'prisoner', as well.

After that, she stayed as one of the jail guards. To win the game, my team would have to move into jail with at least five of them ringing the bell for ten seconds without being shot, which really meant shooting everyone else first. We didn't typically guard the jail at the beginning, but as the game progressed, guarding the prisoners became more important.

I spent the rest of the game hunkered down in the jail with Ember hiding behind me. She kept moving me from one place to another, probably just because she enjoyed being able to order me around. A few times, members of my team grew close enough to fire at us, but they were either taken prisoner or driven off. Ember's team had a growing number of prisoners from my team, and then we heard the bell ringing.

"I seem to be bad luck for my team," I said quietly to Ember. "Maybe I shouldn't play most of these games."

"You're teasing, right?"

"Not at all."

She didn't say anything else.

* * * *

A while later, before lunch was quite ready, Portia stepped up to me and tossed an arm over my shoulder. "Walk with me, Love."

I smiled. "I like when you call me that." I snuggled closer to her. "I like your arm around me, too."

"Good," she said.

I was pretty sure what she wanted. I let her pull me away. It was a beautiful, September day, and we walked for a couple of minutes before she leaned me up against a convenient tree. I thought perhaps she was going to engage in a little mouth mauling. Instead, she stepped back.

"Ember was troubled about something. I made her tell me what."

"I wondered," I said. "I shouldn't have said it."

"Were you serious?"

I nodded.

"I want to ask you a few questions. Will you answer honestly?"

"I'll try," I agreed.

"Strictly for yourself, not worrying about how anyone else sees you, does it bother you don't win your share?"

"I have fun, Portia," I said. "All right. I don't like the elimination games. I never last very long, and then I'm stuck on the sidelines. I've never been into any games as spectator sports, although I could make exceptions when the wolves are playing. But I have fun with the other games."

"So most of your frustration is because you don't feel like you contribute?"

"It's not just that I don't feel I contribute. I think I actually drag the team down. It feels like my teams would win more often if I weren't even there. There are fifteen or more of us on a side? How can one poor player be such a drag on the entire team?"

"Well, I believe you have a false impression. The games seem to be pretty even to me."

"Maybe they're even for you, because you play on my team about half the time, so any effect I have on win or loss statistics would even out."

"All right," she said. "That's fair. But I still don't believe you're dragging your teams down the way you believe you are." She paused. "But let's say you're right. That's the worst-case scenario. I don't think it's true, but let's say you are. We change teams for every game, and we play a lot of games. So even if you personally are only on the winning side for, say, a third of the games instead of half, you aren't having a significant effect on anyone else."

"But no one wants me on her team," I said. "Because I drag the team down."

She smiled. "That's not quite right. People want to play against you. It's not the same thing as not wanting you on their team."

"Sure it is."

"No, it's not. It's subtle. They want to play against you so they get to shoot you."

"What?"

"They don't want Michaela either, and Lara is a toss up. They like shooting her, too. But they really, really like shooting you and Michaela. And you know it's not because they hate either of you."

I stared at her.

"If you are detecting people trying to get you to play on the other team, it's not because they don't want to play with you. It's because they enjoy playing against you."