“No lawyer?”
“No. You will speak for yourself.”
“I see, so your wife will prosecute me, and then you’ll render judgment. That sounds like justice.” I lowered my eyes. “I understand the charges.”
She ignored my first words. “Good,” said Lara. “Alpha?”
Michaela paced around for another minute. She came to a stop near me. “Alpha, if the defendant will plead guilty to the other charges, I will drop one charge of insubordination. I don’t care which one.”
“Ms. Young?” Lara asked.
I looked up at her. “I didn’t do anything wrong, and I certainly didn’t endanger Monique. That was her own fault. I stopped as quickly as I could. It was entirely her choice to jump in front of my car. I’m not pleading guilty to something that wasn’t my fault.”
“Alpha?” said Lara. “Do you wish to pursue this charge?”
Michaela considered me. “Ms. Young,” she said. “I require you to answer my questions. Failure to do so will result in additional charges. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I said tightly.
“And a bad tone will result in additional charges as well.” She paused. “Did you really think Monique would stand by idly as you drove off?”
“If it were as
friendly
of a visit as everyone insists, yes,” I said. “And if it wasn’t, then I was right to run. In that case, it was self-preservation, and I’m not guilty of a thing.”
“Do you admit that your actions endangered your own life?” she asked. “You could have had an accident in the parking lot. Were you clear-headed enough to even make it out onto the main road while looking both ways and evading the enforcers?”
“If no one had been chasing after me, I would have left far more calmly,” I replied. “I will accept responsibility for my actions. I didn’t have an accident. I didn’t choose to step in front of speeding car.”
“So you admit you were speeding?”
“Oh please. It’s a Prius. I don’t think I drove more than fifteen yards before she jumped in front of me. If I was doing more than twenty, I’d be shocked.”
Michaela studied me then turned to Lara. “If she pleads guilty to the insubordination charges, I’ll drop one of them. We can argue this last issue separately.” Then she turned back to me and leaned closer. “Do not give me a reason to consider additional charges. Watch your tone.”
I nodded. “Yes, Alpha.”
“Ms. Young, do you plead guilty to five charges of insubordination?”
“So you call it insubordination to ignore calls from a friend?” I asked. “That’s your assertion? You were calling as a friend? And the enforcers were there as friends?”
Michaela didn’t answer.
“Call it was it is,
Alpha
.” I stressed her title. “If you were calling as a friend, then why is it insubordination to hide from the call? If the enforcers were there as friends, why is it insubordination to hide from them? And I don’t take orders from a 15-year-old, no matter what her title is.”
Michaela still had no answer.
“If you are charging me with insubordination, then you were calling as the pack alpha, not as a friend,” I stated. “If you are calling it insubordination, then the enforcers were there as enforcers, not friends.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared up at her.
Michaela stepped away, turning her back on me. She paced back and forth for a minute. Finally she turned around, facing me from perhaps fifteen feet away.
“Zoe, the punishment for insubordination is minor. I can’t let you get away with your behavior. Do you really believe your behavior wasn’t insubordination?”
I looked between them. “How much pack service?”
“I would pass sentencing when we’re done,” Lara said.
I turned fully to face her. “Am I agreeing to a thousand hours a charge?”
“Oh. No. Enough to sting.” She paused. “Michaela should have charged you with aggravated insubordination for running. If you were a wolf, the standard punishment is a severe beating. Michaela spent two months under house arrest for it a few years ago.”
I looked at Michaela. “Really?”
She nodded. “Long story.”
I looked back at Lara. “If she was calling as a friend, as she claims, then it was not insubordination,” I said. “It was, at most, rude. It was not insubordination to run from the enforcers; it was panic. And I will talk to Elisabeth however I please if she’s going to threaten to beat me because I panicked. It was certainly not insubordination to refuse orders from a 15-year-old.” I paused. “Nor do I believe it is insubordination to defend myself from false accusations. It is unreasonable to expect me to remain quiet while I am being slandered.”
Then I looked at Michaela. “Tell me. Who prosecuted you for ditching your security a couple of months ago? Wasn’t that insubordination?”
She huffed.
“The issues are not linked,” Lara said.
“Of course not. Because just like in every government, those in power get away with breaking the rules while those of us with no power are trod upon.” I glared back and forth between both of them.
Michaela huffed again then stepped away and paced back and forth a few times before turning back to face me.
“My initial phone calls were made as a friend,” she said. “But I also made calls as the alpha to discuss your September pack service. Perhaps we should discuss dereliction of duty for skipping your September duty, and I believe you intended to skip October and November and every month thereafter. Do you want to escalate this, Zoe?”
I sighed and looked at the floor, quite sullenly. “I’ll take the four charges of insubordination if she drops the other charges. I’m not taking responsibility for Monique’s actions.”
“That is not the offer,” Michaela said. “That one we’re arguing.” But she turned to Lara. “However, if you judge her guilty, I will ask for leniency.”
I sighed. “I’m not pleading guilty to insubordination for refusing Monique’s order. She’s not an enforcer; she’s a student, and she’s only fifteen.”
“I said I would drop one,” Michaela said.
“Fine,” I said after a moment. “Four counts, but not the one about Monique. And I didn’t endanger her. She did that all on her own.”
“All right. Thank you.” Lara paused. “Michaela, she has a point. Present your full argument.”
Michaela paced again. She came to a stop in front of me. “You’re guilty of something, Zoe. Until you started driving, you hadn’t risked anyone. But once you got in the car, you had gone from a minor event to real danger. You risked your life and Monique’s.”
“Monique risked her life,” I said. “She’s the one who stepped in front of my car. If you want to charge someone for that, charge her.”
“What if there had been a child who wandered out from between the other cars?” Michaela asked. “Monique could handle getting hit, but some human kid could not.”
“Make up your mind,” I said. “If she could handle it, then she wasn’t at real risk, and this charge is…” I paused.
“Is what?”
“Unfair,” I said. I had meant to say “bullshit”, but I thought that might be more insubordination. “And there weren’t any kids. You can’t charge me based on what-if. What if I have a heart condition, and I have a heart attack from enforcer-induced fear? What if I landed badly while the wolves are playing with me, and I break a rib, that then pierces my heart? What if…” I faded away, not having other examples.
“I can certainly charge you if your actions create significant risk. You’re playing with the odds, and eventually they’ll catch up to you. Furthermore, it is the responsibility of everyone in the pack to maintain a low profile so as to avoid official interest. Racing out of the parking lot of a pack-owned apartment building is not maintaining a low profile.”
Then she leaned closer. “And I can’t let you get away with this, Zoe.”
“Fine,” I said tightly. “Whatever. She jumped in front of my car, but if I’m the one to get punished for it, what else should I expect?”
Michaela reared back and studied me.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
I stared at her before lowering my eyes. “Nothing.”
“Oh no,” she said. “Answer my question.”
“I don’t believe I am able to do so without additional charges of insubordination. I withdraw the statement.”
Michaela turned to Lara.
“Ms. Young,” Lara said. “Do you fear the additional charges due to the content of what you would say or the tone?”
“Quite likely both.”
“If you can avoid extreme vitriol and strive for some level of respect,” she said, “we will offer temporary amnesty. We require you to answer Michaela’s questions.”
Michaela turned back to me and raised an eyebrow.
“Fine,” I said. “My experience with the pack has not been all roses. You were ready to murder me for accidentally catching your head enforcer on a video. It was her mistake, not mine, but I was the one who was going to pay. I did pay with a week of terrifying incarceration and an even more terrifying trip to the bank. Tell me: did Elisabeth pay for her mistake in being caught on video?”
“That’s none of your concern,” Lara said sternly.
“Fine. I’ll take that as a ‘no’. So again, those in a position of power break the rules, and those without any pay the price. So I paid for her mistake, and I nearly paid with my life. Since then I have tried very hard to fit in, but I failed to do so. This was made apparent the last time I was here when I engaged in the same banter everyone else does, but I got slapped down for it.”
Michaela sighed. “I was protecting you.”
“Everyone else banters with the alpha, but I make one flip remark and am sentenced to 11 days of labor for it. Why would I need protection when no one else does? I presume it’s either because I’m human or because my status in the pack is just as honorary as I assumed when you forced me to join.”
“Forced?” Lara echoed. “You asked for membership.”
“That was before a week of terror. Maybe you’re the big, strong, dominant wolf who never fears anything, but I’m not. And that brings us to today. In attempts to avoid my former lover, I chose to avoid social settings where she was certain to be. And for that crime, you sent four enforcers without warning to my home to bring me here against my will. I was pulled from my car, thrown into another car, subdued, and then carried to this meeting, literally kicking and screaming. Elisabeth threatened to beat me for the crime of being afraid. I haven’t received that beating, but I now am facing multiple charges with unknown punishment — all for the human reaction of being afraid after you send a squad of werewolves to my front door. But that’s not enough. You also want to charge me for things I didn’t do, which is how this entire relationship began. You were going to murder me for Elisabeth’s mistake, you’ve threatened today to murder me, and now you’re going to craft more charges for Monique’s actions. I think you’re looking for an excuse to kill me, and suggesting I tried to hurt Monique sounds like a pretty good one.”
I glared at them. “But I’m only human. I shouldn’t expect to be treated fairly.” I shook my head. “But no, I have no cause to be afraid. None at all. Right. I’ve been treated fairly since the beginning.”
Michaela turned to Lara. “It’s hard to believe this is the same person who was carried in here forty minutes ago.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have calmed her down,” Lara said. I didn’t think it was funny. I didn’t care for the levity at all, actually. I looked away. Nothing I said was going to improve the situation.
Instead, I said, “I believe I have explained my comment.” I stared at the wall.
“So you’re mad about the wager?” Michaela asked.
“It wasn’t a wager, it was punishment,” I said. “It’s a lie to call it anything else. You were slapping me down.”
“I-” she paused.
And so I interrupted. “You told me to try to fit in, so I’ve been trying. Karen said I tried too hard. But what have you done? You went out of your way to highlight just how much I don’t belong. You also made sure during the fledgling part of the relationship that I would see just how much Elisabeth would neglect me. Why did you play matchmaker if you were then going to drive us apart again? You should have just left it alone. I don’t belong here, and everyone in the pack knows it!”
“Zoe,” Michaela said. It was her turn to whine, or almost whine, anyway. “You’re wrong about all of that.”
I turned to face her again. “Oh?”
“I wanted a friend.”
“The entire pack loves you,” I said. “You have dozens of friends.”
“I have dozens of students and former students, all half my age. I have their parents, who see me as Alpha and as their children’s science teacher. I have a small number of enforcers I call friends, but if we go anywhere, they’re all on duty. You saw what that’s like. We have so much in common. And I knew Elisabeth liked you. So…” She paused. “I didn’t think you would mind a few days doing Elisabeth’s bidding. I’m pretty sure she would have made it fun. And I need your help with some of the field trips. I didn’t think you would mind that, either.”
“You could have just asked. Instead, you finished convincing me
I don’t belong here
. And even if that weren’t true, how do you expect me to enjoy helping you when it’s punishment for treating you like the friends you insist you are?” I shook my head. “Whatever,” I added.