WLUV Box Set: Ignited, Consumed, Burned (36 page)

Fawn

Fawn threw
together a tray of cheese and crackers. She couldn’t cook per se, but she could
put crackers on a plate, dammit. No matter, tonight she just wanted to take in
the exotic locale and her own exotic behavior. As a journalist, she was trained
to watch her own actions to some degree, and so she had a keen appreciation for
the turn her storyline had taken; she was venturing down a new path.

 Though
she was trying to keep track and remember each moment, at the same time Fawn
continually reminded herself that this was a divergent track, one she would
shift off of when they went home. Did knowing this was a brief moment in her
life make it sweeter? She reasoned that yes, probably so.

Brick
arrived at her cabin and appeared impressed with her domestic skills in the wilderness.
“You’re quite the Martha Stewart, aren’t you? Bed made, tray of food, luckily I
thought to bring us a few Belikins. They’re not super cold but they’ll do.”

They sat
on the couch together, downing the beers and devouring the snacks she’d made.
Fawn enjoyed the easy companionship they seemed to have, even out of the sack.
It was a bit of a surprise to find that they were compatible not just
combustible. On an adventure in a South American rainforest, at least, they
were in sync. Hardly a test of a relationship but Fawn quickly reminded herself
that it wasn’t a relationship, it was a lark.

Before
long their attraction flared up, and the snack tray pushed aside to make room
for entwined, arms, legs, and tongues. They shed their clothes at a fevered pace
and flung about the small room. Fawn was surprised again how much she wanted
Brick. She seemed unable to sate herself for more than a few minutes before
wanting to have his hands on her, her mouth on his.  But she knew it was
dangerous and a little spike of worry began to develop as she sank into his
kisses. Maybe ditching him was going to be harder than she bargained for.

They moved
from the couch to the small bed in the corner, making love again and again.
Each time they did it was a little different; each time one discovered
something new about the other.

They slept
for a few hours at a time in the little tropical love nest they’d made, but
before long Fawn would feel his hand slide from her hip bone to her abdomen, or
a kiss on the small of her back. She responded each time, to her amazement. Was
she always this sexual? Probably not. No other man had ever whipped her up into
this level of need. Saying “No, I’ll pass,” was never difficult with the men
she’d dated, but saying no to Brick was impossible.

They got
up before dawn, both a little reluctant to leave the bed. Brick returned to his
cabin to shower—as sexy as a mutual shower sounded, they both agreed that it
was just too tiny of a space. When he returned he was ready to go, bottle of
bug repellent spray in his hand.

“I’ll do
you first. Sound good?” he shook the spray bottle. Men had the advantage when
it came to getting ready fast. Fawn was still in her towel. 

“Okay, I
assume you’d like me to return the favor so you don’t get eaten alive?” She walked
towards him.

“No, I’m
all set.” Fawn dropped her towel and stood there boldly, allowing him to get a
good look. He did, his eyes traveling up, down, and back up again.

“Wow.”
Brick came in close and sprayed the cold substance on her skin and laughed when
she instinctively jumped back. “Sorry. I should have warned you, it’s cold,” he
entertained himself making sure the only one that would bite her was him. And
he did, repeatedly, before they tore themselves apart and drove to the main
sanctuary to meet their guide for the hike up Victoria’s Peak.

The memory
of each time they’d made love replayed in Fawn’s mind, but soon even those
delicious thoughts were pushed out by the scenery that bloomed and unfolded
before their eyes. John Carlo was an experienced guide and the three of them,
Chud, Brick, and Fawn were all physically fit. He led them at their pace, but
it was still tough going as they made their way up to the peak. The trip up and
back would take most of the day.

They saw
lizards, exotic birds, and even snakes. Fawn wasn’t a fan of the snakes but
she’d be damned if she was going to be the one to squeal.

“Almost to
the top now!” John Carlo beckoned to them, after a three hour hike they’d
finally made the summit. Brick held out a hand to Fawn and helped her up to the
best vantage point on Victoria Peak.

Chud
followed behind. He had a smaller camera, called the GoPro, to document the
beauty of the trail. At the top they were able to see for miles. Green trees
swayed lazily, and a silver mist hugged the peaks of the mountain range that
etched against the blue sky. It was so beautiful that Fawn felt a tear on her
face, then another. She’d denied herself beauty in life, and here it was,
overwhelming her with its full riotous color.

Fawn
forgot herself for a moment and reached out a hand to Brick.  She didn’t check
to see if John Carlo or Chud were watching. It was involuntary. They both
seemed to be just as overwhelmed, though. Even if he’d seen it before, John
Carlo surveyed the scene with silent wonder, and Chud was training his camera
on the spectacular images in front of them. First on the big picture, then on
the vista they were gazing at, and then on a small leaf or tropical flower.

Brick and
Fawn stood for a moment, holding hands, taking it in, and Fawn felt a part of
her heart open to Brick, to a life filled with more— more than just mother’s
extended care, or paying off debts, or work.

With the
loosening of the lock on her heart came fear. This was not her life. It was a
mirage, an anomaly. Her mother waited; her job waited. This was like a really
great episode of
The Love Boat
. The ship would dock and she’d get off.

But for
the first time she wished it could be real. That she could be with Brick
wherever they were – Belize, Grand City, Kalamazoo, Saskatchewan – wherever.

Brick

Brick
couldn’t remember a more amazing day, culminating in Fawn’s reaching out to him
and grasping his hand as they stood on top of Victoria’s Peak. He knew this was
a big step for her but didn’t know if it was an accident or a deliberate
acknowledgement that he was getting closer. Either way it was a good sign.

They
walked slowly down back down the trail, an easier proposition, with their guide
in the lead, Chud following behind shooting anything and everything they
encountered. Fawn and Brick brought up the rear, where he pushed the envelope
each chance he got, grabbing her hand when no one was looking, touching her on
the shoulder to draw her attention to a bird on a branch. It was these little
liberties that she allowed that kept a smile on his face the entire trek.

As they
came near a waterfall emptying into a small pond, John Carlo indicated that
they all stop. “The odds of us seeing the jaguar are small but if we do, it
will be here.”

Chud set
up with a small tripod and the rest of them crouched down in the brush, being
as quiet and still as they could.

They sat
that way for about thirty minutes. Brick was getting a big restless, the idea
that the only jaguar they’d see would be one of the two they’d brought from the
Grand City Zoo was okay with him. On any scorecard he could imagine, this trip
had already been one win after another.

He was
about to pull the plug on waiting in the bush for a phantom jaguar to arrive
when John Carlo’s head slowly turned towards them. He didn’t lift his hand or
move any other part of his body, but he directed them where to look with the
careful track of his eyes.

Across the
water there was movement in the foliage, the leaves rustled and the branches
cracked. Something out there was bigger than the birds they’d watched
fluttering in the trees. Still, it was difficult to see what caused the motion.

But it got
closer. Incredibly, what they’d been waiting for appeared from the cover of the
trees.

It was a
jaguar. Smaller than Brick had imagined, it was made of tight muscle, and its
spots were unmistakable. Moving no differently than any other cat in the world,
it leaned over the water’s edge and drank.

Brick held
his breath. He didn’t want to be the one to alert the animal that they were
there. No one else moved or breathed, either.

The animal
looked up and its yellow eyes caught his. He swore they stared at each other
for a second. And then it made a low almost purring noise that seemed to rumble
the ground near them. Brick had no idea what it meant.

A movement
on their side of the water disrupted the trance. Chud, ever the photographer,
stood up to get a better angle. The jaguar hissed. For the first time Brick
worried about their safety. The big cat’s claws and teeth were made for
climbing trees and devouring prey, and the four of them were most certainly
prey in this scenario.

Brick put
his arm out and slowly pushed Fawn behind him. If the cat decided to leap
across the small pond to them, at least he’d be the main course and not her.

The cat
screeched, a more menacing sound than the hiss, and Brick could feel Fawn’s
hand on his back. They’d stand no chance if they ran. So they waited a second
more, trembling.

And then,
abruptly, the cat turned and leapt back into the bush. Brick saw a glimpse of its
tail swallowed into the dense jungle. The moment was over and they all exhaled
for the first time in several moments.

“Whoa!”
Brick laughed and turned to Fawn.

“Right?
Amazing!”

He was
experiencing a certain amount of exhilaration at that point—relief that the cat
had run off, and of course the thrill of even seeing one on the trails of the
preserve. Wrapped in the moment, he hugged Fawn.

“You got
some good pictures that time, right?” John Carlo asked Chud. The camera was on
the tripod pointing at them, but Chud wasn’t.

“Mr.
Photographer?” John Carlo asked into the spot where Chud had been standing.

Chud was
nowhere to be found.

Brick and
Fawn quickly moved to where they’d last seen him.

“Ah, here
he is.” John Carlo stared at the ground. Chud was lying there motionless,
camera still in his hand.

“Chud?” Fawn
bent down and shook his shoulder.

Brick felt
for a pulse, he easily found it. The photographer’s eyes fluttered open.

“Is it
gone?” he asked, his voice decidedly weaker than usual.

“Yep, it’s
gone.” Brick answered.

“I think I
fainted.” Fawn and Brick helped him up.

“I think
you did too.” Fawn replied.

“That was
scary as shit.”

“Yes, did
you get any pictures?” Fawn was a bit annoyed, Brick could tell.

“Yes, up
until the moment it hissed at us. Then I went for your reactions and lights
out.”

“It was
deciding whether to eat us or not.” John Carlo explained as they resumed their
hike back to the sanctuary.

“Really?”
Brick asked.

“Yes. But
don’t worry, we wouldn’t have had to run very fast. He’d eat the sleeping one,
not you two love birds.”

At that
Chud seemed to get light-headed again. “Love birds? I must have missed that.
What color are they?”

Yeah, you
completely missed the
clue,
thought Brick.

“It’s a
rare species but they’re gone now. Looks like a career at National Geographic
is not going to be happening for you, buddy.” Fawn had a firm grip on the
photographer’s elbow.

 “I’m just
glad I didn’t throw up on the camera. Love birds and the jaguar. Don’t tell
Macy—oh man, please don’t tell Mac.” The poor kid’s tough guy points were
taking a hit after his less-than-brave animal encounters.

Chud took
a few unassisted steps forward and John Carlo helped the young man as he gained
his footing.

Brick
didn’t miss the fact that Fawn distracted her co-worker rather deftly away from
the lovebirds comment. They may have come a long way but not far enough. Fawn
kept her distance as their incredible day in the jungle together came to a
close.

Fawn

It was
their last night in Belize. Fawn had filed several reports for the station,
some on the preserve itself, and several about the process of acclimating the
zoo’s animals to their new wilder environment. The Grand City jaguars were
spending longer and longer periods away from the more protected areas and they
were getting their own food. As the animals became more comfortable in the
wild, visits to Terry and his team became scarcer. Brandman was thrilled about
it but also a little sad. It wasn’t easy to say goodbye to something that he’d
cared so much for. 

“I’m
attached to them, no question. Even if it’s better for them that they be free.
It’s selfish to keep them but I will miss them. Such strong creatures, but they
shouldn’t be caged, and hopefully they’ll help fortify this beautiful species.”
It was the sound bite that closed out the end of Fawn’s package with video of
the animals walking away.

All of the
stories they sent back to WLUV were gorgeous and Fawn had to hand it to Chud,
when he wasn’t chasing tail, he was shooting it pretty damn well. She decided
to keep his fainting spell quiet too lest he reexamine the love bird comment
John Carlo had dropped in.

It was a
good wake-up call. She’d let herself get too close to Brick during their trip,
especially around other people. From that moment on she put her guard back up
and kept her distance.

When they
had their final meal with Terry’s team she’d sat across the table, nowhere near
Mayor Brick Cooper. She reminded herself he was the mayor, and she a local
anchor assigned to cover him. The days and nights they shared were quickly
becoming the past. She couldn’t afford to have her career ruined again.

The last
night Fawn packed up her gear, and made sure she’d cleaned out the supplies
from the cabin’s small kitchen. She would leave the place exactly as she found
it, and hoped to leave Belize the same way, undisturbed, with no signs – no
outward signs anyway – of what she’d done with Brick. They’d made no plans to
be together the last night but he was there anyway. After the sun had set the
door opened and it was him.

“I
realized I should have called and warned you. But I do like to catch you off
guard.” Brick said and before Fawn could put up her walls he was right in her
space, arms around her, lips on hers.

“You
always do,” Fawn answered between kisses.

“So do I
even want to know if you’ve changed your mind?” Brick kissed her ear, her neck.

“I think
you know the answer to that. In fact, maybe you want to spend the night in your
own cabin, to make this less difficult tomorrow.” Fawn pulled out of Brick’s
arms and took a step back.

“Is that
what you want, Miss Clawson?” Brick looked hurt, but he was also challenging
her.

Fawn stood
for a moment. It would be smarter to just send him out of here, be a total
bitch, start a fight, do something to definitively end it right now. But she
didn’t want to. She wanted one more night, one more memory to have with him.
Something she could lock away and take out when she was alone, when he’d moved
on to whatever office or challenge came next. She decided she wanted to make it
just as difficult for Brick when he was away from her. She’d give him a night
he would not forget, ever.

Instead of
answering him, Fawn slowly unbuttoned the buttons of her linen blouse and
dropped it to the floor. Brick stepped back a bit to get a look at her. She
shimmied out of her shorts and stood in front of him with just her bra and
panties. And then, in an echo of her move from that first night, fifteen years
ago, she turned around and made a slow show of removing the rest. She wanted to
make sure he didn’t forget a second.

She bent
over as she removed her panties, giving him a complete view of her backside
before sliding off her cotton bra. Brick took it in, he hadn’t rushed her but
appreciated her, she thought. He was memorizing every little move she made,
just as she intended. But as she dropped her last stitch of clothing to the
floor a strangled sound escaped Brick’s throat and she found herself in his
arms again.

“Alright,
fine. You can tell yourself this is over after tonight but it never will be.
Never.” With that he carried her to the bed. For now, she’d let him think what
he wanted, and so she didn’t argue. Fawn’s only thought about the next day, was
that she’d sleep on the plane. She wasn’t going to squander one moment of their
last night together on shut-eye.

Brick

Brick
still had hope. Sure, Fawn was all business as they traveled back, going so far
as to sit with Terry Brandmen on the plane. Was she attracted to the Aussie?
Maybe, but Brick knew she’d changed. He just had to convince her she belonged
with him in the real world.

Finding
out just how he’d blown it fifteen years ago was critical. Now he understood
that he needed to show her that while he may be a politician, he could be
trusted. He still kicked himself for allowing Deets, all those years ago, to
pressure him into being a total dick. But there was nothing he could do about
that now. Surely she’d seen something good on the trip.

They
landed in a Grand City that was just starting to thaw out from winter. The
spring would be lovely, but it hadn’t quite started to pop. Media from the
other stations greeted them and even Fawn was back in anchor mode when they all
emerged from the plane.

Reporters
from the other stations shouted questions at him as he made his way through the
terminal. “Mayor Cooper, was the trip a success? Is it true we’re looking at
upwards of 200 new jobs?” It was Secor Comstock from WPBN.

“Yes, and
that’s just to start. We’ve got a signed contract and now we just need city
council to dot the i’s, cross the t’s, and ratify.” Brick would put the
pressure on city council to be fast, which wasn’t their normal mode. That’s
where positive news coverage and public support for him as mayor would come in.

“But
Representative Ludmeyer says you’ve given away the tax base with the abatements
you’ve offered.” Comstock wanted to see him angry.

“The
eventual 500 permanent jobs and the contributions to the Grand City Public
Schools will more than offset those abatements.”

“Contribution?”
Comstock was thrown off guard. Brick figured Fawn would like her competition to
be behind on the details of this story.

“I’ll do a
news conference tomorrow after we present to city council. You can ask me
anything then. For now, I need to get back to The Residence, looks like maybe
we can finally cut the grass after all this dang snow.” The gaggle of reporters
laughed and somewhere in the melee he’d lost sight of Fawn and Chud.

No matter,
he’d be over at her house later, whether she liked it or not.

**

“Great
stuff, Fawn!” Macy and Wes were pleased. That was good. Fawn headed straight to
the station after Secor and the rest of them had cornered Brick. It was the
perfect distraction. She had all she needed for the story and he’d be too
occupied to nag her about changing her mind. Thank you, Secor Comstock.

“We came
out on top every night we aired one of your exclusive pieces. The economic
stories did better on the air than the animals, of course.” Wes said.

“Yeah, but
those jaguars were Internet gold. I’m telling you the Internet loves cats—
jaguars, grumpy, doesn’t matter. The WLUV site had over a million visitors
during the peak of our coverage.” Macy explained.

“Fantastic!”
Fawn was pleased, her bosses were pleased; it was all good. Somehow, though,
she couldn’t shake the gloom that had landed on her when they landed in Grand
City. She was feeling sad, lonely, even a little panicked at the thought of
life without Brick Cooper.

Chud had
also come back to the station and was feeding in additional stories and raw
video they’d shot for the half-hour special. They had a few days to get all of
it together. She noticed Gordon hovering near the editing suite behind Chud,
which was good. Perhaps his curiosity was outweighing his jealousy. 

Fawn paid
her mother a visit before going home. It was good to see her and smiled as she
made the familiar introduction.  “Hi Betty. My name is Fawn.”

It looked
like she’d gotten a little smaller in the week Fawn had been away. “Oh hello,
Fawn! Are you here to make me eat some more? I don’t want the pork dinner I
want the mac and cheese, but they won’t listen to me about that.”

Her mother
grabbed the button that controlled the television with WLUV’s evening news on
in the background. “I like that new girl they had this week.”

Fawn
looked up and saw young Shelby Virtue, who was filling in for her one more
night so she get home, unpack, and recover.

“She
smiles more than that other one. I’m sick of that one who doesn’t smile.” Fawn
knew her mother was describing her. “So, are you going to get me mac and
cheese?”

“Sure,
mom,” Fawn replied. She cringed. In her fatigue, she’d made a mistake.

“
Mom
?
Why would you call me that? I’m not your mother. My daughter is twelve years
old, for Pete’s sake. Call the nurse.” Fawn’s mother had started to ring for
the nurse. “NURSE! There’s a crazy woman in here.”

Shit. This
had happened once before when Fawn had tried to explain who she really was. She
hadn’t done it since, because this was the reaction. It was painful to watch
the confusion, panic, frustration, to really see what her mother had lost to
Alzheimer’s.

The only
way to calm her down was to let the nurse take over. Fawn backed out of the
room when the nurse entered, but made sure the woman heard her instructions
over the yelling Betty. “Can you just be sure she gets mac and cheese? She
looks a little thin and I know she likes it.”

“Sure Miss
Clawson, sure, I’ll take care of it. Now let me go calm her down.”

“Thank
you.” The kind nurse stepped in to undo the damage Fawn had done. Dammit, she
hadn’t made that mistake in so long. It was clearly jet lag kicking in. She
leaned on the hallway wall outside the room and listened as her mother
recounted her horrible encounter with the stranger who claimed to be her
daughter.

The nurse
reassured her that the woman was gone, and of course, not her daughter. Fawn
wanted to cry for a moment. How lovely it would have been to tell her mother
about the trip, even about Brick? A hot tear rolled down her cheek. Before she
could sniffle it away, a tissue was there to catch it. She jumped. It was
Brick, there, at the home.

He put his
arm around her. “Come on, let me take you home.”

“How did
you know I was here?” Fawn asked.

“I’ve
still got friends in the department, and I did a little Fawn tracking. Well, I
tracked your car anyway.”

Fawn
wiped her face. “I told you to
scram.”  

“How about
I scram after I get you home, safe and sound?”

“Whatever.
What is it about politicians who don’t take no for an answer?”

Brick
couldn’t help but smile. Back home at Fawn’s that night, she let him in on the
reality of life with her mother. They ordered pizza and he stayed out of view
while Fawn paid. She was not ready for anyone to know about them, but at least
she was admitting there was a “them,” even if it was reluctantly.

There was
one secret she still needed him to know. If they were going to move forward, it
was time. He needed to hear about her miscarriage, about his baby that she’d
lost. So Fawn recounted the awful moment that she’d lost her job and then she
told Brick about waking up in the hospital, with Bernie at her side. She wasn’t
dramatic or hysterical. It was a long-ago loss, a part that was closed, but
mostly a wound that had healed.

“No wonder
that guy hates me so much. I would too.” Brick had been relatively silent
throughout her story.

“He’s been
like a big brother to me. Bernie, his wife and his three boys are the only
family I have—the only ones that recognize me, anyway.”

Brick
looked like he was in pain. “I wish you would have given me the chance to help
you.”

“We were
different then. I thought you were the love ‘em and leave ‘em type, and that
I’d already been left. What good would it be to call you and tell you, ‘oh, by
the way, I was pregnant, emphasis on was.’?” 

“And now?
What do you think now?” Brick asked her.

“I think
you’re pretty great. I wish I would have given you a chance to explain. It
might have worked out.”

Brick
hugged her and gave her a kiss on the head. For the first time since she could
remember, he seemed sad.

“I better
go. I don’t think it’s a great idea to be creeping into the mayoral estate at
all hours of the night.” He stood and made his way to the front door. This time
Fawn seemed to be the one pulling him back, not wanting him to leave. It was an
instant role reversal. Up until that point, she’d always been the one fleeing.

“I am
sorry that I never reached out to you back then. I am. It’s just you aren’t who
I thought you were, I—or actually, you are…I had a fifteen year misperception.”
Fawn wasn’t making sense and she was nervous, suddenly. Something was different
about Brick.