WLUV Box Set: Ignited, Consumed, Burned (24 page)

Mac waited
in the lobby for hours while the medics checked Karen. He’d made several
attempts to call Shelby once he’d calmed down from the initial shock that
carried him all the way to CNTV headquarters, but getting through was a bitch.
He’d clicked off his sporadically operational cell phone with disgust and
hadn’t had phone service since hopping on a military flight for the trek to
Germany. Now there was another problem conspiring against his efforts to get to
Shelby:  The fact that he’d run out of the office – and out of the states –
without thinking meant that he didn’t bring a charger with him. Stupid, stupid.

When Mac
finally found a charger and a compatible plug he saw about two dozen missed
calls on his phone. What the hell?

“Mr.
Macmillan? You can see her now” He put the phone in his pocket and followed the
doctor down the hallway.

Karen was
in a hospital gown, looking a little thinner than before, but there were no
signs of injuries, or anything broken. The doctors confirmed she was a bit
dehydrated but otherwise okay.

“Mac, it’s
so good to see you!”

Mac gave
her a gentle hug. “You too, Karen. God, you know I haven’t been able to forgive
myself. I thought you were dead, thought it was my fault— how they grabbed
you... I fought as hard as I could until some asshole clubbed me over the
head.” The words tumbled out. “I’m so sorry, Karen.”

“There’s
nothing to forgive. I knew we were in trouble, and I did what I wanted. I still
do.” Karen smiled. Mac was amazed she could, under the circumstances. 

 “Did
they…ugh. Were you…?” Mac couldn’t say the words, but he needed to ask, even if
hated to think of the answer.

“Raped?
No. Bitten. Yes. Smacked? Yes. But that only lasted a few seconds before I was
saved.” Karen described the scene coldly. She seemed to blink away anything
that was unpleasant. Mac wondered if she was telling the truth or if she was
still somewhat in denial.

“A couple
of the assholes ripped my clothes, and some worse shit was about to happen, I
have no doubt, but somehow I was moved among the hoard. They passed me around
really, kicking and screaming the whole time. And then the most miraculous
thing happened when we ended up near a group of women. They scolded the men
that had me. They shooed them away, hit them – no kidding, with broom handles –
and then there was an explosion nearby and it scattered the mob. The women
shrouded me and took me to their village.”

“And
that’s where you’ve been?” Mac wondered how she’d survived.

“Mac, this
has been the best few months of my life. I have got it now.” Karen’s eyes were
shining with that ambition and drive he remembered. There was a hungry look
just under the surface of her every word.

“The women
found me a camera. They got me a notebook. They let me live among them. I’ve
been reporting this revolution every step of the way from the female
perspective. I know how these women live now, Mac. I have the story of my
career here. I’ve got video, still photographs, a book deal for sure, and a
two-hour special. It’s all right in front of me.” Karen went on.

The tunnel
vision that was Karen Keith sat up in the hospital bed, her selfishness on full
display. Finally, Mac put his hand in the air to get her to stop for just one
second. “Why didn’t you tell anyone you were okay? We thought you were
dead
.
Do you even know what the last few months have been like for me, for all of us,
wondering what had happened to you? I can’t fucking believe you never let
people know.”

It was
like she hadn’t even heard him “I want you to have a piece of this, too. I need
more video, I need interviews…we can team up for all of the things that are
going to
make
my career. It will make your career, too.”

“Do you
hear yourself?” All the guilt he’d carried around had finally lifted from his
shoulders but now, listening to her, his head was pounding.

“Listen,
Mac, don’t be mad. I mean we worked together, but you’re acting like it was
more than that. You’re not my husband, for Chrissake. And it’s not like I
planned to get hauled off.”

“That’s
true. I know. I just…I blamed myself,” Mac tried to explain, but he didn’t
think Karen thought much about the emotions of other people. Only her story,
her experience, her career mattered. Pouring his heart out to her about his
guilt or fear or whatever was in there was like pouring water into a colander;
it would go right through her and down the drain.

“I’ve seen
some of cable coverage, looks like they’re showing as quite the pair of love
birds. Maybe we could work that, too, you know— play it up for better deals and
coverage. Look.” Karen pointed to the television screen in the corner. The news
commentators narrated in German and Mac had no idea what they were saying, but
the image was clear. Karen was running into his arms and it looked like a love
story for sure. The story had spiraled out of control and was something other
than the truth. It wasn’t even him. It was something the commentators had
created to fit their narrative.

His heart
caught in his chest when he realized, too late, what this would look like to
Shelby. His Shelby. She would be at home, seeing him embrace Karen, watching
the carefully-constructed image of the lovers’ heart-wrenching reunion. But it
wasn’t that at all. The enormity of his screw-up was unraveled as he watched
the screen. Shelby’s heart, not his, was what mattered to him now. And he was
an ocean away.

“This
could really work, Mac, us playing it up a little. What do you say?”

Mac
stepped forward and kissed Karen on the forehead. He was so glad she was alive,
so furious that she never told a soul, and now remembered completely why she
bugged the crap out of him and just about everyone else she’d ever worked with.
He also had no doubt she had the story of her career. She’d be anchoring the
nightly news by the time it was over.

“Listen
KK, I’m not working network anymore, even though I agreed to shoot the
interview with you for them. I’m heading back to my real job right after. You
don’t need me for your big moment.”

“Okay. So,
for my interview just make sure you show how thin I am, and not that I have makeup
to use, but it is good I don’t wear any for this. I want this stripped down,
Mac, looking raw, you know what I mean?”

“Yep.”

Karen went
on and on and Mac’s exit from the room went unnoticed.

He
returned to the phone and now he had an idea of just what he would find on it.

Mac
listened to message after message. One by one, they told the story of what he’d
put Shelby through. Her voice stabbed at his heart.

“Hi,
babe. I know you had to rush. I totally understand. Just safe travels and call
me when you can.”

“Just
checking in. It’s really amazing, what’s happening. The story is all over the
networks.”

“Hey,
dumbass, you really ought to call Shelby. Maybe explain yourself. She’s not
doing too great. You’re blowing it, man.”
Mac winced at that nugget from Macy.

“I
expect you touched down by now. If you get this message, I love you.”
Shelby again.

“I
watched your reunion. It was beautiful. I see now. Even I’m rooting for you
two. Okay, maybe I’m not. I suppose that makes me an awful person.” 
This time,
Shelby’s confident voice was small
and hoarse. Mac was so angry at himself for being the cause of her pain. Then a
final message…

“Hi. Me
again. I left your stuff from around here at the office. Macy has it. I kind of
don’t even want to know when you come back to get your stuff if you even do.
The news is all saying you’re planning to get engaged to Karen. That’s great,
you guys deserve to have happiness. So do I but that’s not looking too
promising right now. Rambling, I’m rambling. Anyway, just know your stuff is
there or she can send it to you, so call her if you need to. Or whatever. And
uh, I…. goodbye.”

Mac had
effectively ruined the best thing in his life by thinking only of his own
guilt. In his overwhelming need for Karen’s forgiveness, for something everyone
said wasn’t even his fault, he’d done the truly horrible thing—but not to
Karen. To Shelby. And now he feared that she would never forgive him.

He called
her, finally when he could get through. It went straight to voicemail. He tried
again.

The third
time, a message said her phone was out of service.

In the few
days since Mac had left the office, everything had shifted for Shelby,
radically. Her life and, more importantly, her perspective, would never be the
same. And everything felt raw. She’d eaten nothing, barely slept, couldn’t
focus, and cried at the drop of a hat. So this was heartbroken? This is what
the songs were about?

Shelby
regretted calling him. She saw his number on her phone and hastily blocked it.
She didn’t want to be needy or to chase him. But when she was at work she kept
looking at the box of stuff she’d put in Macy’s office. It was Mac’s stuff and
it was still there. Would he come back for it? She wanted to see him so badly,
to have him hold her and tell her it was all a mistake. But she also knew what
she saw. The papers, the magazines, and the cable news channels continued to
chronicle the love story of the century.

Mac was
clearly working for the network again as the photographer shooting Karen Keith;
his camera work was evident in her first official interview since her return.
He photographed her luminous face and lit her so that the hollows of her cheeks
were beautifully defined. It made her look like a 1930s movie star.

Karen
answered questions about her escape, her time in hiding, and then came the
questions about Mac. Shelby didn’t listen, it was too much. She turned off the
news. The last thing she needed was details of Karen and Mac’s happy ending.
She felt small and bitter. She had the heartbreak. He had the love of his life,
back from the dead. How could she even compete with that? 

After
another sleepless night, she went to work on her evening shift. She’d been
assigned a story about the mayoral race. She hated political coverage, but it
was the night of a big fundraiser for both candidates.

“We need
you to cover Brick and Mayor Fassbender,” Macy instructed her. “It’s important
that you’re as balanced as you can possibly be, so no one mistakes your dance
the other night for more than it was.”

Shelby
nodded and turned to leave, but Macy touched her elbow, “Also, you need to eat
dinner tonight. You’ve lost weight. Can you promise me you’ll eat dinner?”

Macy’s
concern was sweet, but Shelby had no appetite at all. “Yes. I’ll eat.” Shelby
lied.

“Good. And
Mac’s back in today, he’ll be here to head out after your six o’clock preview.”

“No.”
Shelby blurted before she could stop herself. “I can one-man band this, I’d
rather—” 

“Shelby,
shut the door, please.”

Shelby did
as she was told.

 Macy’s
eyes were soft. “I know you are in love with Mac. This is not a secret to me.
No one else knows— well, Wes does, but what I’m getting at is you don’t have to
avoid him.”

Shelby
just wanted to move forward with her life, and sympathy made that harder. She
was trying not to get burned again. And that was why, under no circumstances,
would she face Mac. Not today.

“Okay,
yes, it’s – it
was
true. But he’s with Karen now, and he should be.
She’s an amazing hero and well, I admire her.” Shelby stammered her way through
the handful of lies.           

Macy
raised an eyebrow, “Karen’s been through a lot, but she’d be the first to tell
you she’s an opportunist, not a hero.”

It was a
harsh assessment of Karen. Maybe Mac’s heart would be crushed by Karen. Shelby
found a sick pleasure in the thought and then suppressed it. What an ugly way
to think. She straightened herself. She wanted to be on the level with Macy, “I
really should not have fallen so hard. Yeah, I got hurt; I’m not going to lie.
But if he stays on here, then I’m going to have to leave. Which isn’t really
fair or whatever, but life isn’t fair, right? I just can’t work with him.
There’s no way. Okay?”

“Okay,
fine. You know I’m here if you want to talk. And I really mean that” Macy
offered a non-boss squeeze of Shelby’s hand.

“Thank
you. Really, I just want to work. To stop all this other drama in my life, you
know?”

“Yes. More
than you realize.” Macy gave Shelby a searching look before dismissing her, “Go
check out your gear. Mac’s on his way so you better get moving if you’re trying
to avoid him, though you won’t be able to forever, Shelby. I’ll have Fawn do
the political preview story in the early shows so you can scram and get to both
rallies.”

“Thank
you.” And Shelby bolted. She’d get out of the station before Mac got there and
she died of humiliation.

**

As Shelby
pulled out of the parking lot of WLUV Mac pulled in, they’d missed each other.
He was feeling desperate.

Macy was
standing in front of her many monitors when he stalked into her office, and she
cast a quick glance in his direction. “Hello.”

“Where is
she?” Mac asked.

“Fawn? On
the anchor desk, it’s six o’clock. Where else would she be?”

 
“Green!” he barked.
Why was she
fucking with him?

Macy
wheeled on him. “Listen Mac, Shelby doesn’t want to see you. She’s stung and
she has every right to be.”

Mac
realized, a little too late, that he should have taken a little more care when
he addressed his old friend. He realized, yet again, that he should have taken
more care with this entire situation. He sagged against the office wall,
defeated. “I know. I fucked up completely. I was just so focused on my other
fuck up, Karen, that I didn’t even think about what I was doing.”

Seeing him
this way seemed to soften Macy “She’s on her story. Let her work. That’s the
best thing. Work on fixing your bullshit after her shift is over. She deserves
some respect here. Don’t go barreling into the rally—” she’d said too much, and
she knew it. “Shit.”

“Thanks.
Is she one-man banding?”

“She
insisted.”

Mac had
bested her and she’d revealed Shelby’s location. It was a rare occurrence to
beat Macy at the information game, but he knew he’d need more luck than that. 
The stakes were as high as they could get.

“I’ll be
her photographer.” He was going to be at Shelby’s side whether she liked it or
not.

Mac made
it to the first stop of Shelby’s assignment. Dan Fassbender, the current mayor,
was Brick Cooper’s challenger. His rally was being held in the swanky banquet
room of the same hotel Mac where was staying. After wading through the crowd,
even shooting a little B-roll, Mac discovered Shelby had come and gone. It was
after nine by then so she had to be at Brick’s fundraiser. He got out of there
and headed to the union hall.

Brick
Cooper was going for a “man of the people” sort of campaign. His rally was at
the police patrolman union hall. Since Cooper had been a beat cop, a detective,
and then a police chief, Mac had to admit it was smart. The guy had looked like
every bit the silver spoon in the tux at the charity benefit the other day but
today when Mac saw him working the crowd, Cooper had his sleeves rolled up, and
he was “regular people.”

He was
after Shelby, Mac knew it. He knew it when he saw that dance. And now today,
there it was again. In the corner of the room, he spied Shelby and Brick, both
sitting on folding chairs with Shelby’s camera on a tripod behind her. She was
trying to shoot her interview herself. Mac felt pride in her, in the way she
did her job, going it alone if she needed to. Then he watched as Brick slid
forward in his chair, towards Shelby, and their knees touched.

That was
it.
Time to break up this little party, dammit.

“So the
question is, do you think you’re going to be able to compete with the Mayor’s
huge lead when it comes to campaign contributions?” Shelby was asking.

“Oh, uh,
looks like you have company.” Cooper looked up toward Mac as he adjusted
Shelby’s camera.  A quick look in the viewfinder showed that the video would,
in fact, be blue. Some things were beyond Shelby, apparently.

“Hi, I’m
Ray Macmillan, Shelby’s photographer,” Mac stepped between the two of them to
shake Cooper’s hand, “Sorry I’m late.” he said to Shelby.

“I have
this under control, actually. Thanks, Mac, but really, you can go.” Shelby’s
terse response was not what he’d been used to from her. Even when they’d first
met she was open, her buoyant personality a huge part of her charm. He knew she
was upset with him, probably all kinds of things with him, but he’d never seen
this side of her.

“Macy’s
orders,” Mac lied. “Go ahead. You were asking how Chief Cooper here was going
to avoid losing. No money or something?” Mac shot a look at Brick Cooper that
the man understood, one hundred percent. It said back off of Shelby or I’ll rip
your head off. Cooper returned the look with his own sarcastic snarl.

“Okay, uh,
fine.” Shelby was only partially aware of the silent conversation taking place
between the two men, but she wasn’t one to make a scene especially when it came
to doing her job, even if she hated Mac hovering behind her throughout the
entire interview.

When
they’d finished, she stood up to shake Cooper’s hand. Cooper pulled her in and
whispered something in her ear. She smiled and nodded and Mac balled his hands
into fists.

Part of
him knew he had no right to do anything after cutting out on Shelby like he
had, but he really wanted to punch this son of a bitch. Mac watched Cooper
slither into the crowd and start pressing the flesh at the rally.

“That guy
is trying to get you into bed. He can’t be trusted.” Mac said.

“You’ve
got to be kidding me.
That’s
the first thing you say to me?” Shelby was
as angry as he’d ever seen her. As angry as he’d ever seen anyone, actually.

“Shelby,
if you want me to get on my knees and beg you to forgive me, I will. I just
assumed you were trying to be professional, because you are very professional,
and the chairs were a little close…for professional. Just a bit of advice from
a seasoned veteran.” As apologies went, this was going down as a really bad
one.

“It is
not
your concern. I’m happy for you and Karen but please don’t interfere in my job
anymore.” Shelby grabbed her things and head out to the live truck in the
parking lot.

Mac
followed close behind her, even though she was practically running. He grabbed
her arm.

“Just stay
away from me, Mac! Okay?” Her voice was a mix of desperation and fury.

“What are
you talking about? I am not with Karen. What I am is an asshole. I rushed out
there because I had to see if it was true. I had to make sure she was alive
because the guilt was killing me. I blamed myself for her being taken in the
first place. But I’m not with her, Shelby, I never have been.”

“I don’t
want to talk about this now.” Shelby opened the door to the station van.

The live
truck engineer was half asleep in the front seat. He blinked at first, then
snapped to attention. “Hi, guys. Ready to edit? I’ll fire her up.”

Shelby put
out her hand to Mac. “Give me the disk.”

The
presence of the engineer in the truck with them effectively stopped their personal
conversation, which seemed to be exactly what Shelby wanted. Mac handed her the
interview.

“This will
take me about thirty minutes and then you can edit it and feed it back. Why
don’t you take a break?” Shelby was cold, professional, and determined to not
be alone with him so he could properly apologize, explain.

Mac
realized he’d lost her, totally lost her, and he didn’t have a clue how to fix
it. He closed the van door and let her work, then stood alone in the parking
lot, not quite sure what to do with himself. He was unbelievably sorry.

His phone
buzzed. He’d missed a text from Macy, “Not sure if you’ve seen the coverage.
This is what you’re up against.”  A picture of Karen wrapped in his arms stared
back at him. It was the cover of
TIME
Magazine.

Macy was
trying to help, but Mac was starting to think that his was a lost cause when it
came to Shelby.

**

Why did
she have to feel all the damn feelings when Mac showed up? Who let him come to
her story? She was livid and confused and the only way to move forward was
work. She wrote her piece, recorded her voice, and then called Mac back in.

He’d been
standing in the cold outside the truck the entire time. “We’re the lead at
eleven so you better hurry.” Mac would have to hustle to edit and feed and then
shoot her live shot. She’d cut it close on purpose so she wouldn’t have to deal
with him. Damn him for even being there.

Since
she’d given him no choice but to finish the story she popped out when he
started working. She’d lose herself in the union hall so Mac couldn’t find her.
It was too hard to even be near him.

What was
he even doing here? His network friends had surely welcomed him back and Karen
was in New York by now probably. He should have just asked Macy to UPS his
stuff. This was just torture. He liked bossing her around, maybe. That was the
deal. Maybe he just wanted to get the last few orders in, thought it was funny
if the young girl made a fool of herself…