Without You I Have Nothing (12 page)

_{“What?  Leave me all
alone, on a Saturday night?”  She seemed disappointed. “If dust worries you the
shower’s through there.”}

_{She pointed through
the bedroom door. “I’ll bring a dressing gown and some slippers for you.”}

_{She positively
glowed, and clearly, she didn’t intend giving up easily.}

_{What a difference. Jennifer
objected to Peter’s attentions and to his kisses - offended by his feelings. Tonight,
Susie was handing him a flagrant invitation, and should he leave and not grab
the fragrant package offered, Susie would be most disappointed.}

_{“You're all muscle
and sinew,” was Susie’s comment as she came into Peter’s arms, demanding a
kiss.}

_{Peter’s hand stole
into her blouse, gently cupping a breast and his touch met, not a hostile
gesture of rejection, but a soft gasp - a sucking of breath.}

_{“Oh, Peter, you're so
gentle.”  She drew back a little to study Peter’s face, then, throwing both
arms around his neck, plunged her tongue deep into his mouth in surrender.}

_{Slowly as he kissed
her, trying to force his mind into believing this was Jennifer, he began
unbuttoning her blouse.}

_{Susie made no
objection.}

_{Convinced he was what
she needed; Peter carried her like a baby to her bedroom.}

_{She wanted to undress
him but he grasped her wrists not allowing her hands to wander across his back
as he kissed the blouse from her shoulders then her skirt from her hips. He
knew he should be aroused as he slid her lacy panties down her legs using his
teeth.}

_{With her naked body
face down on her bed, Peter knelt between her legs as she begged him to take her.
His hands lightly traced erotic patterns on her back and her buttocks before he
began to kiss her skin relentlessly. He drew on all the training of Yin and
Yang from his youth to please her as he slowly drew forth her moans and
whimpers.}

_{As if he were some
primeval beast, he unsheathed his claws dragging his fingernails lightly across
her shoulder blades, the small of her back and her buttocks. As Susie shrieked
her agony, the soothing, silken smoothness of his kisses replaced the fire of
the nails biting into her flesh as again he kissed her from her neck to the
backs of her knees.}

_{Moving to the floor
he knelt, terrified that should Susie feel his back she would be repulsed.}

_{Susie rolled over and
stared at him with passion-filled eyes as his fingers danced a light tattoo
across her breasts and her belly, studiously avoiding her nipples and her sex.}

_{Peter massaged her
feet, her legs, her belly, her breasts and her arms. It was a long, slow
process as he studied the feminine form in front of him, wishing all the while
that it were Jennifer.}

_{Breathing her in, he
worshipped her with his hands, his eyes and lips. Peter advanced slowly towards
her inner thighs and pelvis.}

_{He could only look
down on her passion-contorted features as she begged, “Oh, please ... please
... please ... Oh, God.”}

_{This was not the
woman he wanted to love. She was nothing to Peter but a soft pliable warm body
on which to play a merry tune. He felt no desire and his body showed no arousal.
He explored her breasts and worshipped her sex – her yoni - as her eyes rolled.}

_{Begging for release
Susie panted, thrusting her moist treasure towards his lips.}

_{Ignoring her desire,
he allowed his mind to travel back to the long days and nights of his special
education in Malaysia as he brought more of those lessons into play.}

_{Susie would remember
this night with fondness - Peter was a thoroughly well-trained man. She was
discovering the difference as Peter played with her body, demanding she reach
even greater heights of pleasure.}

_{Ignoring her cries to
stop, Peter continued until she lost consciousness.}

_{Then, crying softly
that this was not Jennifer, he admitted to himself that he had no interest in
her, and no wish to penetrate that soft, warm, fragrant offering. Disgusted at
his own behavior he left.}

_{Slowly Peter started
the car as he stared through the windscreen wondering what was to become of
him.}

_{However as soon as he
re-entered the workshop, his mind was too full of the job in hand to even think
about women until, as if waking from a nightmare, he noticed the workshop was
flooded with sunlight.}

_{Sunday had dawned,
his body was aching, his mind was black with self-disgust. Yet, Bob and Ted
expected him to go surfing with them.}

_{Barely had Peter
arrived home when the lift arrived at his door. “God, you look terrible. Out on
the tiles all night, eh?”  Bob thrust his cheery face into Peter’s somber
countenance. “All right, where is she?”}

_{Pushing past Peter,
he walked straight into the first bedroom. He checked each room in turn.}

_{“The beds are all
made and you're still wearing the same clothes as last night. Oh, ho?  So, she
took you to her place. You're sure a quiet one.”}

_{He shouted back
towards Peter as the lift doors closed behind him. “Hurry, shave and change. We’ll
wait. It’s a beautiful day.”}

_{Towel over his
shoulder, wearing a T-shirt and a Malay sarong with swimmers underneath, Peter
walked slowly into the street realizing he had not slept.}

_{“You don’t look too
happy this morning. Get out of the wrong side of the bed, eh?”  Ted waved from
his car. “Look who’s with us.”}

_{Peter didn’t know
whom to hate most - Jennifer or himself.}

_{If it hadn’t been for
Jennifer’s date with that man, dancing with such pleasure in his arms, he would
not have been in the workshop and wouldn’t have made a fool of himself with
Susie who must now think of him as an immature idiot.}

_{Peter felt wretched,
unable to be pleasant.}

_{“This car’s full.” 
Peter knew that was the truth. Karen, Bob, Ruth and Ted were a load for any
car, particularly as Bob was trying to wrestle Karen on the back seat.}

_{“Take Jennifer in
your car and follow us.”  Ted was doing his best to be helpful.}

_{Bob stopped mauling
Karen long enough to add, “Jennifer, off you go and calm the bear if you can. He
looks like a walking thunder cloud.”}

_{Jennifer placed her
cool hand on Peter’s and he winced, drawing away as if burnt. “Whatever’s the
matter?”}

_{“Nothing!  Just a bad
night!”  The snarl showed Peter could barely be civil.}

_{“Was it a bad night
because of me?”}

_{Peter could only
shake his head. “Oh for Christ’s sake, why would anything you do affect me? 
No, of course not. Whatever could be the matter with me?”  Unchecked, his anger
rose unbidden to the surface.}

_{He knew he was being
objectionable but he couldn’t help himself. Although his two fathers' words
about being a control freak echoed in his mind, he had lost his self-restraint.}

_{“Is it something I’ve
done?”  Jennifer persevered.}

_{“How could anything
you do affect me?”  Peter had to stop the car, as he felt faint.}

_{His caustic sneer
aired before he could control it. “You're a free agent, you do as you like. Nothing
you do affects me.”}

_{As he drove he lamely
concluded, “No, it was a bad night because of the pressure of work.”}

_{Jennifer sat huddled
against the door, her forehead dropped, unwilling to look at him.}

_{How Peter ached to
hold her, smooth her worried frown and brush her hair from her face. If only he
could wipe the memory of last night from his mind.}

_{“I’ve enjoyed the
rehearsals but,” she noticed the squaring of Peter’s shoulders yet continued in
a soft whisper, “then I became frightened and had to ring you and spoil it.” 
She began to weep quietly against the window.}

_{‘Oh, no, you don’t,’
Peter’s mind replied. ‘You're a block of ice - an Ice Maiden doesn’t cry,’ his
thoughts froze his heart.}

_{“What rubbish.”  He
was still bitter. “You did nothing.”  She would get neither sympathy nor
confession from him.}

_{If the others noticed
Peter’s exhaustion as he lay on the sand with the usual T-shirt covering his
back, they said nothing, preferring to drag Jennifer off to gambol in the surf
rather than break through the wall Peter had built around himself.}

_{Lunchtime arrived and
cold water drenching him rudely awakened Peter. With a roar he hurled himself
onto the grinning Bob perfectly prepared to wreak his vengeance on him but Ted
and the girls attacked him from all sides until he was pinned on his back with
a grinning Jennifer lying across his chest her smiling face just inches from
his.}

_{“For heaven’s sake,
Peter behave. Pull yourself together.”  Quietly Ted whispered in Peter’s ear,
trying to bring him back to sanity, as he lay there captured.}

_{“What happened last
night?  Jennifer arrived, aiming to dance with you,” Peter believed he was
about to faint, “and after you were tossed out I had to drive her home.”}

_{Looking at Jennifer
for confirmation Ted continued with his growl, “You’ve spoilt everyone’s
morning and now you’ve tried to kill Bob. Listen, you great bear, behave!  What
happened last night?”}

_{“I suddenly
remembered a car had to be finished by Monday and we’d been held up for parts. These
only arrived on Friday so I spent all last night working on it.”}

_{“And Jennifer was
left alone to accept the offer of a dance with that young fellow you wanted to
tear apart. He sure disappeared quickly.}

_{They were not getting
the satisfaction of the truth from him. What else was he to say?  No, he could
not admit he was so jealous that he wanted to smash that grinning face dancing
with Jennifer.}

_{“I’d only just driven
home when you arrived. I was beaten but at least the customer will be pleased. His
car’s ready for the final touches and will be finished late Monday.”}

_{“You’ll kill yourself.
That’s twice recently you’ve worked all night. Remember all work and no play
makes Peter a dull boy.”  Ted smiled. With a roar, he grabbed Peter’s legs. “Come
on. Let’s throw him in.”}

_{Peter did not
struggle. They were his friends and, besides, two soft, cool, feminine hands held
his head.}

_{The water shocked him
into the awareness of what a cantankerous bastard he had been all morning.}

_{As soon as he
surfaced, he threw himself towards Jennifer, who, screaming, attempted to dive
for safety. Slippery and struggling though she was, Peter lifted her high and
she wrapped those long legs around his waist to stop Peter throwing her back
into the surf.}

_{Grinning, Peter
slowly slid her down his body until he almost seated her on his arousal.}

_{Shocked, she opened
her mouth to admonish him, wondering what mayhem he was about to cause. Her
eyes were bottomless pools of cool green in which Peter wanted to drown.}

_{His head drew closer
and she didn’t turn way. Her struggling stopped, and motionless, she stared
until their lips touched.}

_{Peter reeled. The
light touch of their lips scalded him but he was careful not to frighten her as
her arms about his neck tightened.}

_{Breathless, she
allowed her legs to unlock and, on tiptoes, she stood facing Peter.}

_{“You're a big
bully.”  The cool pits of green twinkled and sparkled in merriment. “Fancy
taking advantage of an innocent young girl where she couldn’t struggle or she’d
drown.”}

_{Peter didn’t point
out the water was only knee deep.}

_{Jennifer pushed him
away but he just moved closer to her. The ache to hold her was urgent and he
had no intention of struggling against it.}

_{There in the surf,
repeatedly he kissed her, oblivious of everything, until her body sagged
against his. Only then did he release her.}

_{Holding her hand, he
led her back to the others.}

_{“You’ll get sun burnt.
Lie down on my towel.”  Peter enjoyed ordering Jennifer about as though she
were his and he began rubbing sunscreen into her shoulders and back. She lay
still until he used the tips of his fingers to beat a butterfly’s dance up her
legs and then onto her inner thighs.}

_{He knew that he was
being offensive as her muscles tightened but still he leant closer to whisper
in her ear. “Roll over and I’ll do the front.”}