Without a Doubt (34 page)

“I don't forget anything where you're involved.”

“Oh, now you're just trying to charm me.”

“Always,” he agrees. I roll my eyes. Before I can come up with some retort, his chest rises and falls with a deep breath. “I want to say something to you and I want you to take it. Don't analyze me for hidden or double meanings. Listen and accept it.”

Oh goodness. Is it going to be good or bad? I can't tell. He releases my hand and I shift to look up at him. He looks happy. His grief has been present in his blue eyes, but now, there's a happy glint dominating them. So, something good.

“First, you should know this is something I realized before now, before this past week happened. I've wanted to tell you and the reason I'm telling you now is because I need to say it, I need to tell you, and I need you to know it.”

“Will you tell me already? I feel like I'm getting a surprise or something and you're teasing me.” But this feels so much bigger and my impatience is getting the best of me because of it.

Emerson laughs and gives me the smile I love so much. “I love you.”

I stare at him, waiting for him to say something else when what he said hits me. “What?” I breathe. “Are you sure?” I blurt out.

He grins. “I'm sure, Eva.”

“Oh, okay. Wow.” I'm overwhelmed by the gravity of his words. My heart is about to beat it's way right out of my chest and into his, so it can cuddle with his heart. I want to hug him, squeeze him, and maybe even squeal with excitement, but it's like I'm stuck on the processing part.

“You don't—” he begins, but I interrupt him, knowing what he's going to say.

“I love you, too.” I pull myself up to meet his mouth. Until he said it, I didn't realize how badly I've wanted to hear him say it, to know how he feels, and if it included the massive four-letter word. Elation carries me higher. I've done it. I've fulfilled my fairytale dream of falling in love at the same college as my parents, just like they did.

My dress rides up as I straddle him. Emerson releases a growl-like sound when he grabs the back of my thighs and pulls me closer. That one motion takes our sensual kiss and catapults it into a frenzied, lust-filled kiss as our hands travel over our bodies with a crazed need.

“Emerson,” I breathe, pulling away because... Why am I pulling away? His hands are on my hips for the moment, exposing me since my dress is bunched above his hands.

He leans forward, placing an open-mouthed kiss on my neck that nearly does me in. “Not letting you go,” he murmurs before kissing me again.

“Then, love me,” I tell him. He pulls my dress up over my head, helps me free my arms from the sleeves, and we begin to get lost in one another. This time feels different than before, but in the best way possible.

“Eva!” Catherine shouts, wrapping her arms around me. “I feel like it's been forever since we've hung out. I miss you.” She pulls back. “How was the funeral?”

“Okay.” I explain the bad parts: Emerson's mom and feeling awkward as everyone practically ignored my existence. Then, I tell her the good part: Emerson got his closure.

“So, how has he been acting? Still quiet?”

“Not as much,” I answer as she gets her drink from the vending machine. When she grabs her drink and turns to face me, I add, “He told me he loved me.”

Catherine drops the soda, her jaw landing on the floor with it. “Why didn't you lead with that?” she exclaims.

“Because you asked me a question first.” I pick up the bottle and hand it to her before taking my turn at the machine.

“Well?” she drags out the word. “Don't leave me hanging! What happened?”

I shrug. “I said it back. I should be back at the dorms by Sunday. As far as I know, football Sunday is still happening and I won't be there. Plus, I'm behind on my homework.”

“Are you looking forward to not spending every waking moment with him?”

“I liked staying there, but I am looking forward to having a sense of normalcy and balance again. How are things with Parker? What have I missed?”

“Nothing as big as an I love you. I've been letting him in a little more. I don't know how he does it, but he's making it almost easy for me.” She shakes her head as if she can't believe it.

“It's because you really like him and you want him to know.”

“Maybe.” We walk into the classroom and take our seats. Catherine leans over and whispers, “So, do you want to move in with him now?”

“I haven't thought about it.” Not really anyway. Living with him for one week doesn't really show if I should move in, does it? Although, if it's a possibility, we'll need to decide by the end of next month, so I know what to do next semester. I liked staying with him, but am I ready for that? Do I want to move in now when I could spend the rest of my college time in the dorm with Catherine? Maybe it's time since I only have a year and a half yet. If we're as serious as I think we are, why wait?

I haven't had the key to his apartment a week and now look at me. Already trying to figure out if I should move in. Emerson isn't ready for it. Otherwise, he would have asked me to move in. He didn't. He gave me the key instead. I should listen to that sign.

After classes, I have to go to work. It's a slow night and the time drags by. I clean to help pass the time. It's so slow that I wish I brought my textbooks to sneak in some reading time. I'm mopping the floors when a customer walks in. My stomach tightens. It's that creepy guy. I haven't seen him in a while.

“Just a second,” I tell him as I walk around and wash my hands.

“I don't mind waiting, beautiful.” His hands are shaking. When he catches me noticing them, he stuffs them in his pockets.

“What can I get you?” I ask.

He tells me his order. While I prepare it, I keep glancing at him, feeling as if I need to be on alert. While he flirts, making dumb and gross connections between sex and the various foods he can place on his sub, I watch him. He absentmindedly scratches his arms and keeps pacing. I can't even manage a believable smile or fake laugh at his pick up lines, if you can even call them that. He doesn't notice though. I wonder if he's addicted to drugs. He's acting as if he's fidgeting and needing his next fix. I hurry to check him out, hoping he'll leave.

He doesn't.

Instead, he leans on the counter, putting him a little closer to me. “Do you have a boyfriend, Eva?”

Stupid name tag. “Yes.”

“Would he be up for a threesome?” His eyes are jumping all over the place like he can't focus.

“No,” I answer curtly.

“What time do y'all close?”

“Eight.” Why won't he leave? My nerves worsen the longer he stares at me, assessing me, and searching for something.

He reaches behind him when the bell on the door dings, making him jump. Relief floods me when I see Glen. The guy grabs his cup with one hand and snatches his bag with the other, glaring at me and the smile I gave Glen. He shakes his head, muttering under his breath as he walks out.

“I love you,” I tell Glen the moment the guy is out the door.

He laughs. “What did I do now?”

I lift my chin toward the door. “Got that guy to leave. What are you doing here?”

“Late dinner.” I walk over to fix his usual and he continues, “Emerson seems to be holding up.”

I nod. “Have you talked to him today?” I feel bad I've only been able to text him a few times.

“Yeah. He seems all right. How are you doing?”

Shrugging, I say, “I'm ready for life to be normal, but I'm glad Emerson is handling it as well as can be expected.”

We talk some more and Glen hangs out as I close up. I'm grateful for his company. It's nice to be able to catch up with him because I've been so absorbed in Emerson, I haven't talked much to him either. I hug him tightly before we part ways, telling him we need to all go to Smitty's soon.

Even though it's around nine when I get to Emerson's, I beat him home. I quickly shower before plopping down on the couch to read a chapter in my textbook. Emerson comes home about an hour later. I glance over at him.

“How was your day?” I ask as he walks over to kiss my cheek.

“Good.” I hear him open the fridge when he adds, “Did you know Glen is back together with his ex?”

“What?” I scramble to turn and face him, frowning. “Why? She broke his heart and he's with her again? When did this happen? I just saw him and he never mentioned it!”

“Earlier this week, he ran into her and they started talking. They decided to give it another go. He seems happier.” Emerson shrugs as if that's that, end of discussion.

I drop my chin as I eye him skeptically. “Of course he's happy right now, but what about when she dumps him again? You know as well as I do that he'll be worse than he was before. I don't like this.”

“It's not your decision,” he reminds me. “Maybe they'll be better this time.”

“Ha,” I scoff. “I liked her until she had to go and break my cousin's heart and for what?” Suddenly, it hits me that Glen never would tell me why they broke up. I discard my textbook, sitting up on my knees and folding my arms on the back of the couch. “You know why they broke up, don't you? Tell me right now, Emerson.”

“I need to shower,” he calls over his shoulder as he starts walking down the hallway.

“Emerson!”

He laughs, ignoring me completely.

“I'll remember this the next time you want to have sex,” I call out. He still doesn't turn around to tell me, which makes me all the more curious. What could have happened that Glen wouldn't tell me and wouldn't want Emerson to tell me? Huffing with dissatisfaction, I reluctantly return to my textbook.

EVA HAS BEEN unusually quiet about the Glen ordeal since I refused to tell her what happened with him and his girlfriend, Lori, to make them break up the first time. Today, the guys and I were together to watch football. Tonight is the first night in a week that Eva isn't here. Her comforter isn't even on the bed since I washed my sheets this morning. Hers was the last thing I washed and I forgot to get it from the dryer.

My bed feels empty without the comforter and practically deserted without Eva. It was only seven days together and yet, I'm already missing our routine and having her here. She hasn't even texted me since she left. I didn't realize I would miss her so much after only like twelve hours. I didn't miss her this much before.

I grab my phone and text her.

Me: What have you done to me?

Her reply is quick.

Eva: I've made you awesome. ;) But I don't think that's what you mean, so explain.

Me: I miss you.

Eva: Awwwwwwwww.

Me: The best reply would have been something like: I miss you too, Emerson. Want me to come home instead of staying at the crappy dorms?

This time, I have to wait a few minutes before I get a new text, and as I realize why that may be, Eva confirms it with her response.

Eva: I didn't know I should consider your place home.

Emerson: You have a toothbrush here. You have soap, deodorant, a razor, a comforter, and you've left some clothes here. You practically live with me already.

Eva: Except I don't.