Without a Doubt (20 page)

Emerson and I have spent the day shopping for my mother's birthday present. Mom loves bracelets and has more than she'll ever wear probably. It only makes sense I add to that by getting her yet another one. I kept waiting for Emerson to complain about how long it was taking, but he never did. I was pleasantly surprised when he pointed out a bracelet, which ended up being the one I bought.

Having him there with me and helping me made me fall for him a little harder. When we got back to his apartment, I thought he deserved a little treat. We haven't left his bed since.

“I'm hungry,” I breathe. Time for dinner has long since passed. “Actually, I'm starving. Let's order a pizza, so we don't have to waste any energy.” I turn my head as Emerson laughs.

“I just gave you the best orgasm of your life and your first thought afterward is pizza?”

It was highlight reel worthy, but my stomach is demanding food. “Yes,” I answer simply.

He leans over the edge of the bed and grabs his jeans off the floor. “What do you want on it?” he asks as he fishes his cell phone out of one of the pockets.

“Bacon and pineapple.” Emerson raises a brow as he lies on his back, propped up against two pillows. “It's delicious, I promise.”

“Bacon and pineapple it is.”

“And get some of those cinnamon stick things and those little bread bite things with the Parmesan cheese.”

“You read my mind,” he grins.

While he calls to place our order, I disappear into the bathroom to clean up, grabbing my underwear and his t-shirt on the way since it'll cover me up more than mine would. When I return, he leaves to do the same.

“Are you nervous about meeting my entire family?” I ask, snuggling against him once he's laid down again.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I'm nervous enough to want to back out, but I like you and do want to meet them, so I'm sucking it up.”

“At least you got a heads up,” I point out. “You didn't tell me until we were already on the way that I would be meeting your parents. And I didn't get a heads up at all when it came to your uncle.”

“Yeah, but you're amazing and we were still new.”

“You don't need to worry, Emerson. My family is great and so are you. You're two for two already between Glen and me. You'll be a hit,” I reassure.

“You're probably right.”

I laugh. “I was starting to miss those words. It's been a while since you've told me I was right.”

“You're always right, Eva.”

When I lift my head, he's smirking. Before I can respond, there's a loud knock coming from the door. Emerson hops out of bed, thankfully already wearing his sweatpants. I can hear him talking and then a few minutes later, he walks in with his arms loaded down with pizza boxes and two cans of Pepsi stacked on top.

“Dinner is served,” Emerson says, placing the food on the bed.

“I feel so honored to eat pizza in bed.”

“You should.”

He takes a seat next to me, both of us sitting with our legs crisscrossed. He sets the cans on the nightstand, which is on his side of the bed. He hands me the boxes of cinnamon sticks and bread. Then, he opens the pizza box and places them in the top half, opening those.

“Dig in, Miss Starving.”

I smile and pick up my first slice. It was just what I wanted, a little slice of delicious heaven to fill me up. We eat quietly with Emerson passing me my drink every so often. Today has been perfect, simply perfect in every way, from the shopping to the sex to the pizza. I'm hoping our perfectness carries over to tomorrow.

“Are the guys bummed about not being able to come over tomorrow?” I ask, finally finding energy again.

“Not really. It happens every now and then anyway. How do you think the trip will be with Glen?”

“Worse than if it was only you and me. Have you ever ridden with him before?” I don't wait for him to answer. “He's a control freak. He controls the AC, the radio, and I'm surprised he doesn't try to control the conversation. He's a good driver though.”

Emerson laughs. “Are you sure he just doesn't like when someone else gets in his vehicle and starts messing with stuff?” He gives me a pointed look and I roll my eyes.

“Like I said, he's a control freak.” I glance down at our food. There are two slices of pizza left with half of the sides gone. “We're pigs,” I comment.

“We earned the right.” He looks thoughtful for a moment, but then he says, “Seeing you chow down on half a pizza all by yourself is a turn on.”

My jaw drops. “I didn't eat half the pizza!” Right? I've been so busy stuffing myself, I'm not sure, so maybe I did. Then I realize what else he said. “Me eating is turning you on?” I ask, tilting my head and raising a brow. Surely not.

“You're always turning me on,” he shrugs, closing up the boxes. “We should get ready for bed since it'll take me forever to wake you up in the morning.”

Just like that, he walks away. Huffing, I go to his bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Emerson joins me after a minute or so.

“Since you're not going to fulfill the standard fantasy of wearing a sports jersey, I'm glad you're doing the wearing my t-shirt one.”

“You're welcome,” I say with a smile as I brush past him on my way. While it's been a good day, it's also been a long day. I'm nearly asleep before Emerson makes it to bed when his phone rings on the nightstand. I keep my eyes closed and hear him walk into the room.

My stomach drops when he answers quietly, “Hey, Kelly,” and proceeds to leave the room to talk to her. She's calling again? God, I don't like this at all, but I also know I'm not going to tell Emerson that. I want her to give him closure and let him go already. Hopefully, I can stay quiet until that happens.

THE MIXTURE OF guilt and happiness I feel when I see that number on my cell phone is overwhelming. At least the ringing didn't wake Eva up. She fell asleep quickly tonight. I kick back on the couch with the phone pressed to my ear.

“How are you?”

“Fine. How are you? You sound tired,” I say.

“It's been quite a day is all.” There's an undercurrent of defeat in her tone.

“Everything okay?” I ask.

“Yes, of course.” She pauses before adding, “Are you surprised to hear from me?”

“Yeah. Every call is a surprise. I never thought it would be this way with you,” I confess. All the memories of our time together surge forward with a touch of longing. What we had was spectacular and she wanted to put it on hold or let it go, whatever her true intentions were. I can't help but ask, “Why did you want the break, Kelly?”

“I already told you,” she says softly.

Before she can repeat what she told me over a year ago, I interrupt her. “Are you sure that's why?”

“Yes.”

I sigh. She isn't giving me anything. “Do you regret it?”

Kelly is quiet for so long, I double check to make sure I didn't lose the call. “No, I don't,” she says with conviction. “Even though it may not always feel like it, I know I made the best decision for us.” Before I can comment, she speaks again. “Besides, aren't you happy with your girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” I answer automatically. “But—”

“Then that's all that matters.”

“No, it isn't!” Anger floods me as my hands turn into fists and I clench my jaw. “How can I move on when I feel like we're not over? We're unfinished and unresolved because you wanted a two-year break. And now, halfway through, you start calling me. What am I supposed to do with that, Kelly? I don't know what you want from me and I don't know how to stop feeling like I'm in the middle of two women when there's only one. You can't tell me you want a break with some shitty excuses and that you want me to see other people. Because then I don't know what to do when I meet someone like—” I stop short before I can say her name.

“I don't know what I'm supposed to do,” I continue, calming myself and ejecting the fury from my tone. “I've known you since I was five and you've always been in my life. You were my best friend, Kelly. I can't let you go without an explanation.”

Her voice is soft with resignation. “I wanted you to know it's possible to be happy without me.”

“Why?” That doesn't make sense.

“Emerson, you were going away to college and I didn't want you to feel tied down to what you were leaving behind.”

“But I wasn't leaving you behind,” I adamantly tell her. “You didn't have to make these decisions for
me
. I loved you. I didn't feel tied down. I was ready to take on the world with you, Kelly, and then you asked for a fucking break.” I wince a little as the anger returns. We argued here and there, but I've never felt this furious with her.

Silence answers me until she says, “I'm tired, Emerson. I'm going to go.”

“Okay, bye,” I sigh.

She ends the call and I take a deep breath, wanting to clear my head before going to bed. I used to understand Kelly. There were never any doubts, never any misunderstandings, and now, she confuses the hell out of me all the time. The conversation has left me exhausted, so I stand and head to bed. A smile lifts my lips when I see Eva, wrapped up in her comforter like a caterpillar in a cocoon.

I climb in beside her, kiss her temple, and settle in, feeling more relaxed by being near her.

Eva's been quiet all morning, but I think it's just her usual morning grouchiness. She tossed and turned all night, so I don't think she slept well. When we meet Glen outside, she goes for the backseat, so I take the front passenger.

“Eva says you're terrible to ride with, Glen,” I tell him.

He chuckles. “Only because I don't let her control everything. What did you get Aunt Beth for her birthday?” he asks her.

“A bracelet,” she answers.

Glen laughs. “Me too.”

Eva's hometown is only an hour away. Glen and I talk for forty-five minutes of it before he asks the same question I'm thinking.

“You okay, Eva? You're quiet and that's rare.”

“I'm fine,” she says simply.

Glen glances at me with suspicion in his narrowed eyes, but I shrug. I don't know what may be bothering her. I haven't told her Kelly called yet, so it can't be that. Nothing else has happened that I know of. Eva doesn't perk up until we're pulling up in front of what I'm assuming is her parent's house. Beautiful flowers occupy flower beds in front of the porch, making the house a bit more eye-catching.

Eva is the first out of the car as the screen door opens. A woman opened it, but Eva is focused on the golden retriever who comes barreling toward her. Finally, she smiles. Glen and I get out as well. He makes his way to the house, calling out to his aunt, Eva's mom. I wait for Eva, who currently has her face buried in the neck of the dog.

“I missed you so much, Lady,” she says, pulling away and standing. The dog notices me and sits at my feet, waiting to be petted. I rub her head before Eva says, “Let's go meet my parents.” The dog dutifully follows Eva up the porch where she hugs her mom. “Happy birthday, Mom!”

“Thanks.” She pulls away and looks at me. “You must be Emerson. It's nice to meet you.” She holds out her hand, which I firmly shake.

“Nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Harvey. Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.”

Mrs. Harvey leads the way into the house. The first room is the living room and Glen and an older gentleman are already in there. The man stands, enveloping Eva in a hug as soon as she's close enough.