Authors: Sara Craven
was too late.
In its way, his kiss was as merciless a punishment as the beating
she had suffered at his hands. She moaned feebly under the
insistent harshness of his mouth, as he forced her lips apart. His
hand in the small of her back ground her body against his, giving
her intimate and indisputable proof of his physical arousal. His
other hand was lifting the edge of her sweater, and sliding beneath
it, his fingers spreading across her rib-cage and upwards to find the
tiny clip that fastened her bra in the cleft between her breasts and
release it.
Morgana gasped helplessly. She couldn't breathe. She could barely
think. And somewhere deep inside her a small hot flicker of wild,
degrading excitement was beginning to build to a flame.
Lyall's hand cupped her bared breast, his fingers stroking the rosy
peak until she thought she would faint with pleasure. The arm that
held her pinned against him was no longer a prison but a delight.
She wanted to be closer yet. For the first time in her life she
wanted to be naked in a man's arms, for every inch of her to be
bared and offered for his caresses. She wanted the secret
knowledge of his own flesh under her hands.
And all the time the bruising kiss went on, drinking her dry,
draining her will to resist. In the stalls behind her the horses
moved, stamping their feet, and whickering softly. Above their
heads a small bird flew crazily around the rafters, uttering cries of
alarm. And in the distance there were voices.
Lyall heard them. He lifted himself away from her with a faint
groan, pushing a hand through his dishevelled hair. His eyes were
fever-bright as he looked at her, but his voice was cool as he said,
'They're coming. You'd better tidy yourself.'
The blood rushed into her face. She didn't want to have to see
anyone. She could imagine only too well the sort of appearance
she presented, mouth swollen, eyes blurred with unfamiliar
passion, but she felt incapable of movement. Her body was weak,
as if she had been battered in a strong sea, swimming against a
current which was too fierce, too masterful. She was still gasping
for breath, and even the rhythm of her body, the sure beat of her
pulses seemed to have altered in some strange and fundamental
way.
She said in a voice she barely recognised, 'I—must go home.'
'I'll drive you.'
'No!' Her voice rose and cracked. 'No, I'll walk.'
She needed to walk. She needed to move, to make her sawdust
limbs obey her, to breathe deep lungfuls of moorland air, to regain
in some small measure her equilibrium.
And, more important, she didn't want to be alone with Lyall,
especially in the confined passenger space of a car. His touch
could break her, she knew that now. His kisses could turn her
blood to fire. There must be no more of them.
She looked down at the cobbled floor, and felt sick with self-
disgust. He would have known, of course. He was far too
experienced not to realise the effect that he'd had on her. And the
fact that he had been similarly aroused made no difference at all to
her sense of shame. After all, he had never made a secret of the
fact that he wanted her. It was she who had flung her denial, her
rejection in his face. And now he knew she was his for the taking.
Lyall said abruptly, 'If you don't want to face them, I'll head them
off. Will you be all right?'
'Wonderful.' Morgana invested the word with all the bitter irony of
which she was capable.
He said, 'I didn't intend this.'
'Which? The—assault, or the interruption?' Her voice shook. 'On
second thoughts, I'd rather not know. Now, may I go, please?' She
still wasn't looking at him. She never lifted her eyes, so she could
only sense that he had turned and gone, and that she was alone.
The next few days were some of the
most
difficult in her life.
She had thought she had reached her lowest ebb after her father's
death when they learned what was to happen to Polzion, but she
had been wrong. And the worst of it was that she had no one with
whom to share her unhappiness.
She had to play a part—to act that her feeling towards Lyall were
Unchanged, that he still aroused cool dislike and distrust in her.
And, she supposed, it was true that she did not trust him, but then
she no longer trusted herself. That was the shattering blow he had
dealt her—or rather, the first of them, and the only one she could
face.
It was hard having to carry out her duties in the hotel, when all she
wanted was to hide in her room and never have to see anyone
again. The only way she could survive was to turn herself into a
kind of automaton, who worked and spoke, and even occasionally
smiled as if she was programmed by some inner computer.
She was thankful that her mother's preoccupation with the plans
for Polzion prevented her from noticing that all was far from well
with her daughter's emotional life. She would have been
concerned, and might have asked questions for which Morgana
would have been unable to find answers—or at least answers the
implications of which she would be able to bear.
She could not fool Elsa, of course. She had been answering her at
random, one morning, too immersed in her painful inner world to
pay much attention to the reality around her, when the older
woman had snapped at her, and Morgana had burst into tears. It
hadn't been that much of a shock. Elsa had been at Polzion for a
great many years, and tended to spare no one the rough side of her
tongue when roused, so she should have known what to expect.
But she was unprepared for what happened next. Elsa gathered the
shaking girl into her arms and began to soothe and pet her as if she
were a small child again.
'There, my lovely, there, my handsome, don't take on so. 'Tes pain
and woe, like I told you, and change and turmoil, but there it is,
and 'it won't last for ever.'
No, Morgana thought, nothing lasted for ever. Not agony, not
hatred, not even love. Even the mention of the word was enough to
make her flinch.
She did her best to keep out of Lyall's way, but every glimpse of
him, even the sound of his voice in an adjoining room was enough
to send her pulse pounding.
It wasn't love, she assured herself desperately and with
monotonous regularity. It was physical attraction, and totally
transient. He had turned her world upside down in every possible
way, so there was every reason for her to be aware of him.
She hadn't been sure what his reaction would be when he saw her
again, and it had taken every scrap of courage she possessed to
walk into the dining room that evening, and serve him his meal as
if nothing had happened. And yet it seemed he was content with
that. His manner was casual, verging on the aloof. There was
nothing to indicate that this was the man whose passion had
carried her to the brink of surrender only a few hours before.
But if that was the way he wanted it, then it was fine with her, she
told herself defensively. In fact, it was ideal, considering that they
had to work together.
Lyall had told her to her face that he hadn't intended that little
scene in the stables, and she believed him. If he was honest, he
was probably bitterly regretting it, especially when they could so
easily have been discovered by Elaine. She might not have been
prepared to believe that he was making love to another girl simply
because she had made him very angry. But there was no other
explanation, and Morgana ruefully had to acknowledge that she
had probably asked for it. She had behaved badly, and she had
been punished for it, as if she had been a naughty child.
As the days passed, she was forced to the realisation that Lyall was
spending a lot of his time at Home Farm. He never said where he
was going, or at least he never told her, although her mother
seemed
au fait
with his movements.
It was Rob who confirmed her suspicions of where Lyall passed
his days.
'It's quite amusing,' he said over a drink at the Polzion Arms one
evening, although he didn't sound particularly amused. 'Mother
and Father were considering making an offer for Polzion, and now
it looks as if your cousin is about to take us over instead.'
Morgana sipped her shandy. 'What makes you think so?'
'Well, he's never away from the place,' he said rather irritably.
'That pleases Elaine,, of course, but I can't say I'm particularly
thrilled. He wants to know a little too much about the running of
the stables for my liking.'
Morgana shrugged. 'Well, it isn't as if you've got anything to hide.'
'No,' Rob admitted. 'But let's just say that smooth operators like
your cousin aren't my favourite sort of people.'
'I wish you'd stop calling him my cousin!' snapped Morgana with
sudden fierceness. 'The relationship between us is so remote it
barely exists. My God, he doesn't even use the family name,
except when it suits him,'
'I think he uses everyone, and everything when it suits him,' Rob
said dourly.
He was a better judge of character than she had ever given him
credit for, Morgana thought drily. Because that was what Lyall had
been doing, of course. It must have annoyed him to have
encountered her dislike, so he had decided to amuse himself at her
expense, until it bored him. Or until he met Elaine and realised that
she would make a more entertaining companion, she thought, with
an inward grimace of pain. Elaine spoke his language. She was
used to his world, or at least the fringe of it. Even if he used and
left her, she would survive. She was a great survivor.
Whereas I, Morgana thought, could well bleed to death for the rest
of my life.
Rob asked with a touch of irritation, 'What's the matter, love? You
spend most of your time in a trance these days. I don't seem to be
getting through to you.'
'I'm sorry,' she apologised, flushing. 'What were you saying?'
He looked faintly mollified. 'I was asking if you were going to
come to this party of Lucy Templeton's with me. It's a Hallowe'en
do, and she wants us all to dress up. It should be quite amusing.'
'Oh, I don't think it's my sort of thing,' she said quickly. 'Besides,
Elaine will be going, won't she? I hardly think she'd be very
pleased to see me there after what happened the other day—after
the things she said to me.'
'Oh, come off it, love.' Rob looked a little uncomfortable. 'You
mustn't take that much notice of what Elaine says. Her bark is
always worse than her bite, as the saying is, and I'm sure she's
forgotten all about that by now.'
'Do you?' Morgana was sceptical.
'Why, yes. In fact, she asked me if I was going to bring you to the
party. That day at the paddock—she spoke in the heat of the
moment. You should have heard what she said to me when she got
me alone later!' He gave a rueful sigh.
Morgana put a hand on his arm. 'I'm sorry if I got you into trouble.
It was a mad thing to do, and I should never have started it.'
'Well, it all turned out all right in the end.' He paused. 'Lyall really
could be a first-class rider, you know, if he had more time to give
to it. And he knows a hell of a lot about horses—more than I do, to
tell the truth. If anything goes wrong these days, Elaine asks him
his advice first.' There was a slightly sullen note in his voice,
Morgana was quick to notice.
She said gently, 'I'm sure that Elaine does value your advice, Rob.
It's just that Lyall is—a novelty.'
'I think she plans to make him a permanent fixture,' Rob said
grimly. 'I don't know whether I could stomach him as a brother-in-
law. But of course he may have his own ideas about that too.'
'More than likely,' she managed, past the sudden dryness of her
throat. 'I—I didn't realise it was getting that serious.'
Rob shrugged. 'It all depends how serious is serious. I would
reckon he's a man who likes to have a woman interested in him
most of the time. Certainly he's not one of nature's celibates. But
Elaine knows what she's doing, or I've always reckoned so. But I'm
wondering whether she mightn't have bitten off more than she
could chew.'
'What about your parents? What do they think?' Morgana ventured.