Wishes on the Wind (41 page)

    "Meg, please… please let me love you."

    The rasping break in his voice was more than Meg could withstand. Dear David… proud David was pleading with her.

    Raising her lips to his with a low sob, Meg felt the tremor that shook David as he took her mouth. The last remnant of restraint slipped away as she clutched him close. Harsh reality fled as David's kisses drew her deeper, as his loving ministrations became more intense, as he schooled her in the fine tenets of desire with each touch of his hand. Surrendering herself to him, she bathed in the beauty, the rapturous colors that inundated her senses. The hard ground against her back was welcome, because it allowed the sweet weight of David's body against hers. The damp odor of the deserted bower became sweeter than perfume because it mingled with the stirring, musky scent of David's skin. Her bared flesh did not feel the chill of the storm with David's love to keep her warm.

    David's lips moved against her breasts and Meg gasped with the depth of sensation he aroused. She felt his joyous reaction to the sound, and it was suddenly as clear to her as it was to him that she had been created for this moment. David's passion feeding her     own, she reveled in the muscled contours of his body as it moved against hers. She ran her palms against his back, clutching him close, fingers splayed to encompass their full measure of his sinewy flesh. Her soft protest was instinctive as he drew back unexpectedly, his hands sliding past her ribcage and stomach to tangle in the dark, moist curls below. He caressed her intimately, raising a low moan from her lips as he suckled the swollen, roseate crests of her breasts.

    David's passion seared her as he raised his head to whisper raggedly, "You see now, don't you, Meg? You know now what I've been trying to tell you. This is only the beginning, darling. There's so much more… so much…"

    The hard shaft of David's passion probed her, and fear edged Meg's hungry anticipation. Torn between equally strong desires to thrust David from her and to draw him closer still, she began shuddering violently.

    "Meg, don't be afraid." David's voice throbbed with tenderness. "Just let me inside you."

    Long moments of anxious probing and delirious apprehension climaxed with sudden penetration. Joy laced with pain as David came to rest inside her, and Meg closed her eyes, suddenly motionless. Tears slipped from beneath her thick fringe of black lashes in the moment before Meg looked up again. Poised above her, David was unable to tear his eyes from her face. His cheeks were as wet as hers as he whispered in a breaking voice, "I love you, Meg. I'll always love you."

    Moving gently, David gradually increased the tempo of his lovemaking, finally shuddering his love into her body as he gasped her name. Loving him, Meghan accepted his body's homage with a swell of emotion that touched her soul.

    David's flesh was warm against hers, the perspiration of their mutual passion uniting them. His breath was sweet against her cheek, his strong arms holding her possessively close, as reality slowly returned.

    Myriad emotions assailed David as he looked down into Meghan's face. Meg had made the world suddenly beautiful by loving him. The ancient arbor under which they lay, the damp ground from which Meg was shielded only by discarded clothes, even the raindrops seeping through the heavy foliage above them took on a rosy hue in the afterglow of their love.

    But Meg was most beautiful of all, more beautiful then he had ever dreamed. Her slender, white body had not yet reached the full bloom of womanhood, but it was flawless to his eye and sweeter than he had imagined it could be. He quelled the guilt that assailed him at the thought of her youth with the knowledge that no matter their age, their time was at hand.

    Lowering his head, David pressed a kiss against Meghan's lips. Meg's eyes were closed and she did not respond, but he knew she was as overwhelmed as he by the tumultuous loving they had shared. Filled with the joy of their intimacy, David smoothed sweat-dampened curls from Meg's face, indulging himself as he traced the fine arch of her brow with his fingertip, the thick lashes that shielded her incredible eyes, the line of her cheek. He traced the fullness of her lips, clenching his teeth against the desire to indulge himself more deeply.

    "I love you, Meg." A world of feeling emerged with those simple words, and David suffered the thought of how close he had come to losing her. Swallowing tightly, he cupped her cheek with his hand.

    Meg looked up at him, her lips working, but no sound emerged. She glanced away, and the first nudge of uncertainty touched his mind. Raising her chin with his finger, David forced her to meet his gaze.

    "Did I hurt you, Meg?" She did not answer, and David briefly closed his eyes, his heart pounding with regret. "I'm sorry, Meg. I couldn't hold back any more. But it'll be better next time. We'll"

    "You didn't hurt me, David."

    Meg moved uncomfortably under him, and David rolled to his side. He stiffened as she attempted to get up, restraining her with an arm across her breast. "Not yet, Meg."

    "I have to get back home."

    Meg's unexpected behavior confused him. "What's wrong, Meg?" And then when there was no response, "I thought it was as perfect for you as it was for me." Still no response, and David whispered desperately, "It
will
be better next time, I promise. We'll have our own place in Philadelphia. It'll be warm and clean, and we'll"

    Meg met his gaze unblinkingly. "I'm not going to Philadelphia with you, David."

    "You're not go" David's voice trailed off into incredulity. "What do you mean?"

    "I'm telling you that nothing has changed."

        ''Nothing has changed?" David's incredulity turned to fury. "Are you trying to tell me that everything that just happened between us meant nothing to you? I know better than that, and even if it wasn't as good for you as it was for me, you can't be foolish enough to think"

    Suddenly thrusting his arm aside, Meg stood up and reached for her clothes. On his feet beside her, he turned her forcefully to meet his eyes.

    "Meg, tell me what's wrong!"

    "Nothing is wrong." Meg's eyes were filled with pain. "Everything's right the way it should be. We made love, David, and it was right that we should say goodbye that way."

    "Goodbye!"

    "Aye, goodbye. We haven't changed what we are with the physical act of loving, as beautiful as it was. And it
was
beautiful, David. I'll always remember it."

    "Remember it! Don't be a damned fool, Meg! There's nothing standing between us that a little courage can't overcome."

    "Perhaps."

    "Perhaps?" Grasping her shoulders, David gave her a hard shake. "Perhaps?"

    "Let me go."

    "I won't let you go. That's the what I've been trying to make you understand."

    "And I've been trying to make you understand that the choice isn't yours. I love you, David. I suppose that love will always be a part of me, but the truth is that I don't love you
enough
."

    Meg paused to take a deep breath, her eyes brimming. "Go to school, David. Go to England, get your degree, and have a great, glorious future. Forget me, because as surely as I lay in your arms a few minutes ago, and as surely as the loving we shared was more beautiful than I could have dreamed, I tell you now that I
will
forget
you
. I've made myself that promise."

    Meg's gaze caressed his face. It moved him as did everything Meg did or felt. She touched him in so many ways that he suddenly realized the part of him that came to life with knowing her would shrivel up and die without her. And he knew that where he had lived contentedly without the joy of Meg before she came into his life, he could not lose her without forever mourning the loss.

    "Please, Meg." Drained of anger, David whispered, "Please don't leave me now."

    Silence stretched between them before Meg turned and reached for her clothes. Running a hand through her tangled curls, she looked up at him at last, her expression sober.

    "Forget me, David. We were born to the pattern of our lives. There's no changing it now."

    "Meg…"

    "Goodbye, David."

    Too quick for his startled mind to react, Meg slipped her shawl over her head and dashed out into the rain. David watched her sure-footed steps between the rain-soaked grave markers. He was still staring long minutes after she disappeared from sight.

    Breathless from her mad race through the rain-slick streets, Meg rounded the corner of the house and slipped through the kitchen doorway. Gasping, she pulled her shawl from her head as Aunt Fiona turned toward her. Concern deepened the lines on the older woman's face as Meg darted a glance at the clock.

    "Is Sean upstairs, Aunt?"

    Aunt Fiona swept her with an assessing gaze, and Meg raised her chin against the older woman's appraisal. She was no longer a child. She was now a woman who during the last hour had taken several difficult steps that would change her life forever. She knew the change those steps had effected within her were as visible as the dirt stains on her clothing. She also knew that she appeared disheveled and upset, and that her eyes betrayed far more than she desired. But although she had done what she must and regretted none of it, she needed time. She could not allow Sean even a suspicion of what had passed between David and her, or the result would be catastrophic.

    Aunt Fiona did not speak, and Meg prompted again urgently, "Is he upstairs, Aunt?"

    Aunt Fiona shook her head, then looked away. "Yer brother was home and left again with the word that he wanted to speak to you after supper."

    Suffering her aunt's gaze, Meg walked out of the room without another word. Closing her bedroom door behind her a few moments later, Meg allowed the sanctuary, however temporary, to quell the anxieties besetting her mind. She fought welling tears. There was no time to think of the intimate beauty she had experienced in David's arms, or of the love she had sacrificed forever. There was no time to think of the emptiness inside her and the long years she would spend with David's memory eating at her heart. She had done what she had to do, and it would all be for naught if Sean discovered what had happened under that quiet, protective arbor of vines.

    Suddenly snapping into movement, Meg locked the door behind her and pulled off her stained clothing. Pouring water into the wash basin, she scrubbed herself fastidiously from head to toe. Fully dressed a few minutes later, she rolled her soiled garments into a ball and tucked them under her arm.

    Halting briefly to look at her reflection in the mirror, she saw that the old Meghan O'Connor had returned a slender girl with damp, curly hair, light blue eyes, and a mouth that smiled easily.

    But Meg knew that, inside, she would never be the same girl again.

    Dropping her stained clothing into the kitchen washtub a few minutes later, Meg turned to find her aunt looking at her. She did not smile, for in truth, the new Meg could not find a smile within her.

Chapter 16

    David did little to ease the uneasy silence that reigned over the Lang dinner table. He could feel the weight of Uncle Martin's accusing gaze and Aunt Letty's torn sympathies, but he did not look up. Neither did he need to look up to know that Grace, unnaturally silent as well, looked at each of them in turn, waiting for the first to speak.

    The unnatural state of affairs between himself and the other members of the family had existed for the past week, since Uncle Martin's ultimatum and his final meeting with Meg under the rain swept arbor. He had exchanged nothing but necessary conversation with his uncle and the other members of his family in the time since, but the tension that knotted his stomach, destroying his appetite for even the most tempting of Cook's dishes, had little to do with his feelings toward them.

    Disbelief still filled his mind. Meg had deserted him. He had spent every day since their last meeting alone in the hills, going over his conversation with her word for word in an effort to sort out his thoughts. Tortured by the beauty of the intimacy they had shared, he had been able to think of little else but her.

    Through the agonized confusion of his thoughts, one truth had emerged. Meg loved him, but she didn't love him enough to turn her back on everyone and everything for him. The result was the same as if she did not love him at all.

    Realizing the futility of attempting to eat, David lowered his fork to the table.

    "What's wrong, David? Isn't the roast to your taste?"

    David looked up at his aunt. Her brows were knit in a frown and lines of concern marked her cheeks. It occurred to him that she looked pale. Her eyes filled unexpectedly, and guilt touched his mind.

    "No, the roast is fine." David attempted a smile. "I'm not hungry, that's all."

    "You haven't finished a single meal this week, dear."

    "Leave him alone, Letty," Uncle Martin interrupted, turning to David with his expression tight. "If David isn't hungry, he doesn't have to eat. He isn't a child."

    "I know, dear, but"

    "Leave him alone, Letty!"