Winter Winds (37 page)

T
REV AND
D
ORI DROVE
their separate cars home from church. When first one, then another car sped past Trev going much too fast for the residential streets, he frowned. He slowed to turn into the alley behind his house just as a third car roared around the corner, forcing him to hit the brakes and wait for it to pass. He watched in his rearview mirror as it turned south at the light, tires screeching.

Shaking his head and praying no one was killed by any of those thoughtless drivers, Trev parked his van in the garage. Dori would be parking her car at the curb. Hopefully there were no more wild drivers out there endangering her. He couldn’t stand to lose her again.

As he climbed from his van, Trev looked at the clutter filling the other half of the garage. He was definitely going to have to clean things up as soon as possible, freeing the other side of the garage for its intended purpose. Dori needed to be able to park her car out of the weather.

In fact, he thought as he walked to the back door,
I should give her my slot immediately. I’ll park out at the curb
.

As far as he was concerned, nothing was too good for Dori, especially this evening. She had been so angry at Jonathan, and all because he attacked Trev. She had stood with him on the platform, a unit presented to the
congregation. But most important, she had looked at him with love, not the uncertainty and fear he’d seen in her eyes far too often since she’d come home.

Of course she hadn’t said she loved him aloud yet, but he knew it was coming. He gave the air a discreet punch, though he really felt like turning cartwheels of joy. Just how soon could he get rid of Maureen and get Ryan into bed? He wanted his wife to himself and in their bedroom. No more of this office stuff. Never again would he sleep apart from her. Never again would he let anything come between them.

He was grinning like a loon when he went inside. The first thing that struck him was the silence.

“Jack?”

No black retriever barreled his way to greet Trev. Come to think of it, no little fluffy mutt yapped at his feet either.

“Hey, Dori, where is everybody?” he called as he walked through to the living room.

“I don’t know. I was wondering the same thing.” She turned from hanging her coat in the closet. Her cheeks were red from the cold and her eyes sparkled. With love? For him?

He hung up his coat and pulled her into his arms. “Thank you for being there for me tonight.”

A thud sounded upstairs, and they both turned toward the steps.

“Anyone there?” Trev called. “Ryan? Jack?”

“Trudy?” Dori called. “Maureen?”

Silence was their only answer.

“It’s Jonathan,” Trev whispered dramatically, “come to get his revenge.”

“Oh, Trev, he made me so mad!” Her face clouded at the memory. “He said such terrible things about you! And it was all my fault.” Her lower lip began to wobble.

He brought up a finger and waved it gently in front of her nose. “Don’t go taking on yourself all Jonathan’s bad behavior. Remember I told you he’s done this before. The Lord will hold him accountable for his half-truths and shaded facts, not you.”

“Well, yes,” she agreed. “But it’s our strange marriage that’s made all the trouble.”

“But it’s not strange anymore, is it? We’re committed to each other now, aren’t we? Or did I misunderstand?” Trev held his breath.

‘ “No, you didn’t misunderstand.” She melted against him. “I love you. I always have, and I always will. I was just so hurt and so young that I didn’t handle things well. Forgive me?”

“Done.” He set her back so he could see her face. He knew he should probably quit while he was ahead. After all, she was happy, and their bed was waiting. Still, there were some questions he had to have answered, or they’d fester in his heart and poison their reconciliation as the corruption spread. “What made you decide I was trustworthy after all?”

She smiled and reached a hand to rest it on his cheek. “I watched you. I saw the kind of man you have become, the best of all the old traits melded with the new man in Christ you now are.”

“That’s it? It wasn’t the flowers or the dinners out or the gifts? By the way, the garage is yours from now on. I’ll take the street.”

“Thanks. That’s very nice of you, but I’ll keep the street, at least until you get an electric garage door opener. The alley’s too spooky.”

It was? He’d never thought it so, but that was beside the point. “We’ll shop for an opener tomorrow.”

“See what I mean? The old Trev would have told me to save my pennies. Maybe he would have volunteered to take me to the store—if he wasn’t too busy.”

“The old Trev was busy protecting his heart against this wonderful girl he wasn’t allowed to love. Part of that protection was not doing all he wanted for her.”

“And the new Trev? The now Trev?”

“He’ll do everything he can to be what you want in a husband and to bring you joy.”

“See? That’s what I mean. You have become a truly wonderful man. I won’t ever have to worry about a Rosalee Germaine ever again. I know it as surely as I know my name’s Dori Trevelyan.”

He looked at her, confused. “Who’s Rosalee Germaine?”

The joy in her face vanished. Just that quickly, uncertainty took its place along with what looked like disappointment. She stepped well away from him.

“Please, Trev, don’t play games.” Her voice shook.

What games? All he’d done was ask who Rosalee Germaine was. He shut his eyes and stared into his memory. She had to be someone from their common history. That meant someone from Amhearst or college. He sifted through all his mental files and folders. Nothing. He went through them again because it was obvious his present and future happiness depended on his remembering. Still nothing. He looked at Dori, hands spread in question. “Who is she?”

The disgust he read in her face made his stomach turn. “You don’t even remember her name?” Condemnation rang its shrill chime. “And you cared so little for me that you could be unfaithful with someone you didn’t even know?”

One word hit him between the eyes. “Unfaithful?”

“I’m sure you thought you could get away with it, but my last class was cancelled, and I got home much sooner than expected. I raced up the steps, hoping you were home too. After all, I hadn’t seen you for six hours.” Her tears fell, dripping off her chin onto her ruby sweater. “Well, you were home all right, all tucked up in bed with Rosalee.”

He felt like she’d slugged him. “Never, Dori. I’ll swear on a stack of Bibles if you want me to. I don’t even know who Rosalee Whoever is, and I certainly never slept with her.”

“And I thought you’d changed.” Her scorn bit deeply. “I saw you, Trev. I saw you!”

He shook his head and kept shaking it. No, she hadn’t seen him. He had never been unfaithful. From the moment he said, “I do,” he had never touched another woman.

“Remember how you could see the whole apartment from the front hall?” she asked. He remembered that little fact just fine. The place wasn’t the best or the most beautiful, but he and Phil had found it more than satisfactory, and Pop liked the monthly fee.

“I came in, and there you were, lying on your stomach, sound asleep, and Rosalee was cuddled beside you on her side, her arm thrown across your back. Your bare back.”

For a moment all Trev could do was stare at her, still shaking his head. Then slowly the shock of her accusation began to wear off, and a fierce and terrible anger took its place. He glared at her.

“So that’s why you left me,” he ground out. “You thought you saw me in bed with someone else, and you ran.”

“You killed something in me that day.” Her voice wobbled. She sniffed and looked around for a tissue. He did not offer her his handkerchief. Let her nose drip all over her. She deserved it!

He leaned in close to her and said slowly and coldly, “I did not go to bed with anyone ever after we married. Never. Not once. I don’t know what you thought you saw, but it wasn’t me—as you would have found out had you bothered to stick around long enough to check things out.”

His nose was almost touching hers when he finished, and she drew back. He saw with pleasure that she looked uncertain.

He continued in the same low, cold tone, “I was off getting drunk with the guys, remember? And to think that I thought for years that you left over that drunkenness. But no, you left because you
thought
I was unfaithful.”

“But I saw you,” she whispered.

“Not me, Dori. If you think just a little bit, something you obviously haven’t done for six years, maybe you’ll see an alternative.”

With that he reached over her head and grabbed his red Squall from the closet. He stalked out the front door, slamming it behind him. As he zipped up, he thought what an idiot he had been to buy another jacket just like the ones Pop had given them all that long-ago Christmas. Like he could keep the family intact even as it splintered.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Six years he’d pined after her. Six years! Six years he’d tried to imagine what he had done that would upset her so, and he hadn’t done anything. Not one thing.

His conscience kicked him. Yeah, well, he’d gotten drunk after he promised not to drink anymore, but that was a far cry from what she fancied he’d done. Did she think so little of him that she thought he’d ignore the vows he’d made to her? They might have been made under unusual circumstances in an unexpected place, but that didn’t make the saying of them any less binding.

Even back in those days he’d had a great respect for marriage. He remembered his parents loving each other, laughing together,
making a warm and happy home for him and Phil. Then he’d watched Pop and Honey and seen another marriage that was rock solid. A good thing, too, since it had to survive the invasion of three youngsters. Pop had honored Honey, treated her as if she were the most special woman in the world—which she was to him.

He had planned to treat Dori the same way.

And, by George, he expected the same courtesy and trust to be reciprocated. It was only right. And it was his due.

She had ruined it all by running. She had ruined it by refusing to talk. He had tried to be gracious, gentle, and kind, and she’d been distant, snippy, and accusatory.

The farther he walked and the more he thought, the higher his temperature rose.

God, I’ve tried to do it right, and this is the thanks I get? I do not deserve her accusation, and she does not deserve me
.

If Phil had only kept his hands to himself! But, no, not Phil. He was too busy enjoying the freedom of being big man on campus as he did his graduate work for his DPharm. And girls were his biggest joy.

When he saw Phil again, he was going to strangle him. Maureen could then arrest him, and Jonathan could with great honesty tell the congregation just what a rotter Paul Michael Trevelyan was as he spent the rest of his life behind bars.

Two things struck him at almost the same time. It had begun to snow. Flakes like little needles slapped him in the face and brought him out of his red haze. He looked around in surprise. He had walked miles, and across the street was Phil’s pharmacy, closed and dark for the night, the clock above the front door reading nine-fifty. Close at hand was Harbor Lights where Dori had been working so hard to help Mae and Ryan.

Dori. And the second realization ripped through him. He was furious at her, not for the false accusation, though he certainly didn’t like it. He was livid because she left him, because she caused him such pain, and because she hadn’t returned of her own free will.

He stepped into the recessed doorway of Harbor Lights to get out of the weather. He leaned against the door and with genuine
dismay knew himself as guilty as Dori. She had run, but he had raged and been too blind to even realize it. She hadn’t had the courage to discuss things with him, but he had put on a garment of godliness, not seeing the giant moth holes of pride, false humility, and wrath.

He heard Dr. Quentin saying, “Just be careful of that anger. It could sink your love boat before you’re even out of port.”

For years he’d thought Dr. Quentin was speaking of Dori’s anger, and he’d long planned to be mature and sensitive to her to defuse that anger. Now he realized his mentor had been speaking of Trev’s own anger, anger he had seen simmering, but which Trev hadn’t even realized was there.

Oh, God, forgive me! Here I have been saying the Pharisee’s prayer—Thank God I’m not like her—when in my own way, I’ve been worse. I’ve been a self-righteous prig, proud of my godly attitude, when underneath I was furious at her for deserting me, embarrassing me, and hurting me
.

I have to talk to her
. He stood up straight.
I have to ask her forgiveness
. He started to run.
God, help me! I’ve made such a mess of things. Help me!

J
OANNE FOLLOWED
B
ARNEY
into the Sea Whisper Restaurant located ten minutes south of Seaside. She had worked on her hair in the car, but as she glimpsed herself in a mirror on the wall, she knew it looked terrible, like someone caught in the rain and wind.

She was never wearing one of those cap things again, not even for Barney.

“Don’t worry, baby. You look fine.”

She looked at him skeptically.

He grinned. “In fact, better than fine. I like your hair like that.”

“You can’t be serious.”

He nodded. “It doesn’t look so stuck-up, you know? It looks like I could run my fingers through it, sort of like this.” He slid his hand into the blonde mass until his palm cradled the back of her head. “Now I can hold you still while I kiss you.” And he did.

The throat clearing of the hostess made Joanne gulp and break the kiss. Barney grinned at her, not the least embarrassed.

“Table for two,” he said as he winked at Joanne.

The hostess led them into the dining room where she sat them near the fireplace with its cozy gas flames. As she took the seat Barney held for her, Joanne knew
she was going to keep her hair like it was, loose and flowing, sort of untamed, like he made her feel. It’d sure be easier than all that teasing and curling and spraying and moussing.