Winter Interlude (57 page)

Was that too much to ask
?
Of course not.

Didn’t
Kate
want the same
?
He had huge doubts
.

He
ran blindly, pushing himself hard
for more than an hour
.
Eventually, his tranquility returned, mainly after coming to several conclusions
.
The thought of not having
Kate
in his life seemed unbearable, but he’d survive
.
On the other hand
, having a one-sided relationship with her, like the one he’d shared with Judith, was something he’d never be able to survive
.
He also realized he had no control over
Kate
’s actions, so he did the only thing one could think of
—
let go of her
.

With the determination he was known for, he put her out of his mind and out of his life, stopping short of locking the door
.
Only time would allow him to do that
.

~

K
ate
tried to concentrate on the man across from her
.
She offered Mike a polite smile after he’d made some comment about his job
.
He was a sales representative for a major manufacturing firm based in
s
outh
San Francisco and traveled a lot
.

She felt horrible about Paul
.
She’d hurt him deeply
.
His angry departure was proof.

“Are you okay
?”
Mike eyed her thoughtfully
.
“You seem to be a million miles from here.”

“I’m sorry
,” she said, shoving her thoughts away
.
Going for a bit of levity, she added, “I think the sugar from all this dessert is wreaking havoc on my mind.”

He grinned, clearly taking her excuse in stride
.
“You sure can put it away
.
I can’t believe you stay so slim with all you’ve eaten tonight.”

“I guess I have good genes
.”
She shrugged, not adding that tonight, eating had been a form of comfort.

“Yeah,
you
do
.
I know my sister would love to be that lucky
.
All she does is moan about how easy it is to gain weight.”

“I didn’t know you had a sister
.
Does she
live
here?” she asked, working at keeping the conversation going
.
“What about your parents
?
Are you from the
B
ay
A
rea?”

He spent the next quarter of an hour talking about his family
, before turning the conversation to where in the city he lived.

“The neighborhood’s a little on the funky side,” he said, of his apartment in an area above
t
he
Haight
,
a district the hippies made famous in the late sixties
.
“And it’s hilly
.
Gives my clutch a good workout.”

She should have stayed home, she realized too late
.
Her
slight
smile, as big as she could muster considering her glum mood, urged him to drone on about his work
.

Mike had sensed her distraction too many times during the meal, so
Kate
tried to reciprocate with mention of her shop and some of her business trips
.
But her heart wasn’t in it and the conversation eventually died
.

“How about more coffee,” the waitress asked, interrupting the uncomfortable silence
.

Mike nodded,
beginning to mirror
her mood
.
As he drank his coffee, he became as silent and uncommunicative as she.

The waitress cleared the table, leaving behind the check
.
Mike picked it up and finally spoke. “Why did you come out with me tonight?”

His question brought
Kate
out of her thoughts and she looked up, unable to keep the guilt out of her expression.

When she remained
silent
, Mike added, “It’s obvious you have other things on your mind and don’t want to be here
.”
He shrugged
.
“I’m curious as to why you came
.
”

Her guilt spread to the heat rising up her cheeks
.
Unable to look him in the eyes, she drew figure eights on the table with her finger
.
“I’m sorry
.
I know I’ve been lousy company tonight.”

Mike smiled
.
“You want to talk about it
?
”

Shaking her head, she scrunched up her nose
.
“I don’t think that’d be smart.”

“Ah
!”
His expression turned from knowing to cynical
.
“How nice
.
Another guy
.
”

Kate
’s eyebrows shot up
.
“How can you be so sure it’s another guy?”

“I have eyes and ears,” he countered with a self-deprecating laugh
.
“I’m right, aren’t I?”

She took a deep breath, giving up all pretenses
.
“Yes, I’m sorry
.
A lot happened after you asked me out, but I didn’t feel comfortable canceling.”

“Don’t you think that would have been better than putting us both through this torture?”

Smiling sheepishly, she said, “I guess I wasn’t thinking.”

“Okay
—
I can accept that, but promise me something?”

“I’ll try,” she said honestly.

“If this guy doesn’t work out, call me and give me another chance.” Mike stood and reached for the check
.
“You’re worth another try.”

His sincere words lightened her mood
.
“I would be stupid not to call you
.”
She smiled and nodded at the check
.
“And because I was such a boring date, I should pay for dinner
.”

“Don’t worry about it
.”
When she was about to disagree, he shot back, “You can pay next time
.”

They walked back to her apartment in amicable silence
.

“I think I’ll leave you here,” he said, when they got to the outside door of her building
.
His car was parked a block away
.
“Will you be all right?”

Nodding, she offered a warm smile. “I am sorry about tonight,” she murmured, relieved she wouldn’t have to offer any more excuses or explanations
.
She stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek
.
“For what it’s worth, I really like you.”

Mike’s laugh was quick
.
“Yeah, I know
…
bad timing
.
Well, I’ll see you around,
Kate
,” he said, before he turned toward his car.

Kate
watched him walk away before letting herself into the building
.
Oh, how she hated the dating scene
.

She’d never wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings
.
But today, in the course of several hours, she’d hurt two people who didn’t deserve it by doing the one thing she shouldn’t have done
—
go out with Mike
.
Her shoulders slumped at the realization.

As she trudged up the stairs to the second floor, one thought stood out above all others
.
Paul wouldn’t be back
.
Not without her calling him
.
Plus, she couldn’t discount Judith
.
But even if Judith gave her blessing, she didn’t know if she had the courage to call him, which totally confused her
.

What she needed was time to think
.
Think about what she wanted and where she was going
.
With these thoughts and more roaming through her head, she pushed her way through the door and walked unhurriedly to her apartment
.

K
ate
’s cell phone rang, waking her from a fitful sleep
.
She reached across the bed to her nightstand and
fumbled for
it
.
“Hello
.”

“Hey,
Kate
, it’s me, Judith
.
You want to grab some breakfast?”

A twinge of guilt tightened in her midsection
, as
Judith’s question
registered
.
Almost a week had passed since her date with Mike
.
S
he’d been screening her calls
, avoiding everyone, especially
Judith
.
But it was time to
face her demons
.
“Yeah, sounds great
.
Where do you want to
meet
?”