Winning Back Ryan (4 page)

             
I had to keep from laughing at the end of that statement. Ignited our passion? Who spoke like that?  Ben must have been thinking the same, because I heard him covering up his laughs with coughs. The woman glared furiously between George and me.  I didn’t feel bad about what I was doing, because I felt as though I was doing her a favor. Even if she couldn’t see it at the time, George would never be boyfriend material until he wanted to be, which wasn’t happening any time soon. There were still
way
too many women left in New York City that he hadn’t slept with yet. Every moment she wasted pining over a man who could never be what she wanted was a minute she lost looking for Mr. Right.

             
“Congratulations.” She spat each syllable at us before she turned and stormed away.

As soon as she was gone, I let go of my friend and heard Ben’s unapologetically loud laughter. When I glanced over, a tear rolled down his cheek. George knew what was
so funny as he had the tiniest amount of pink in his cheeks.

             
“Every time someone uses the phrase ‘ignite our passions’ tonight appropriately, you have to buy the group a round of shots,” Ben said to George.

             
“What? No way!” George shouted in protest.

             
“This is the drinking game we’re playing tonight, man. If you’re not game, I could just put the video of this up on Youtube.” Ben shook the cell phone in his hand back and forth.

             
George glanced between the phone and Ben’s face, deciding if he wanted to call his bluff. It was a bad choice I knew, because Ben never bluffed. He never said or committed to anything that he couldn’t follow through on. I had no doubt that he took video. George sighed in acceptance and nodded. Ben slapped him hard on the back as he slid his other arm around my neck. “Let’s go tell the others.”

             
We returned to Brian and Max as Ben explained what just happened with the girl and the drinking game of the night. They all laughed, embarrassing George even more, as Brian handed me the Long Island Iced Tea I asked him to order for me. I took out a five dollar bill, handing it to Brian. He shook his head.

             
“Take it,” I insisted. He shook his head again. “Take it, Brian. You don’t need to buy me drinks.” He continued ignoring me, sipping his Jack and Coke, until finally I tired from having my hand out and slid my money into my jeans pocket. I glared at him to let him know I was annoyed, and his lips curled into a smile.  “Thank you,” I leaned over, whispering into his ear. “But, you don’t need to buy me drinks. You work hard for your money too. Keep it. “

             
“Annie, I bought you one drink, not a house. Relax.” He smirked at me, and as much as I tried I couldn’t stay annoyed. Seeing him smile just made me smile.

             
“Alright. Next one’s on me.”

We drank, talked, listened to bands play, and I just enjoyed the company of my friends. When my drink was empty, it seemed everyone else’s was too. Ben flagged down the bartender and ordered us another round. I held a five dollar bill out to Ben.

              “For the drink.”

             
Ben shook his head. “I told you on the phone that I’d get you drunk. Your money is no good tonight.”

             
I raised my brow in insistence, holding the money out firmly for him to take. He slipped the bill out of my fingers, and leaned into my ear. His voice grew husky. “I said…” He paused as though collecting his thoughts, and I waited for the rest of his sentence, my heart picking up the pace in curiosity of what he would say. “that I’m paying tonight.” He leaned back, resting himself against the edge of the bar, taking a sip of his beer. “Now take your money back.” My brows scrunched in confusion. His eyes glanced down quickly at my breasts, so I followed his eyes down and turned beet red when I saw the money nestled in my cleavage, tucked beneath my bra. I never even felt his hand near me. Ben took another sip of his beer. “Try and give me that money again, and you’ll find it somewhere far more private next time. I assure you.”

He smirked at me before he held his long necked beer up and finished it off.  I refused to act embarrassed.

              “You could have just handed me back the money,” I snapped.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Where’s the fun in that?”

              I could feel my cheeks turning brighter, so I added, “The only reason I offered is because I thought you could use the five dollars to buy yourself a pack of disposable razors. Something obviously happened to yours.”

             
His brow rose, a smirk playing on his lips. “Will I be kissing someone tonight?”

I glared murderously and shook my head curtly. “No.”

              His smirk turned to a full smile. “Then in that case…” He tossed the beer bottle onto the bar counter, grabbing my face in his hands. He turned my head sideways before rubbing his scruffy face against my cheek. I shrieked from the feeling-like harsh sandpaper grating across my skin.
“Let me go, you maniac!” The words came out garbled from my lips squished together.

             
He released my face, stepping back, holding his arm up to signal he wanted more drinks. The bartender walked over while I tried to figure out what just happened. “Another beer. And six shots of vodka.”

             
I rubbed my cheek from the sting. As he pulled money out of his wallet, he glanced back at me and asked, “Was it as good for you as it was for me?”

             
Ignoring him, I turned towards Max, whose arms were crossed, frowning in disapproval. “You’re right. He’s looking for trouble tonight.”

             
“You have no idea,” Max muttered darkly.

I glanced at George who was chuckling, thoroughly amused by the scene. A quick glance at Brian confused me as he looked furious.

              I sighed returning to Ben’s still expectant gaze. “Take it easy on me, Ben. I’ve been semi-single for about four hours now.”

“Semi-single?”
All four men said in unison.

             
I bit my lower lip, rubbing my forehead, trying not to meet their gazes. “We’re going through a rough patch now, but we’ll get it fixed.”

             
“Fixed?” Brian asked, his voice harsh.

             
“I…think the relationship is worth salvaging,” I replied meekly.

             
“Have you lost your fucking mind?” George shouted, “He cheated on you! What’s there to fix?”

             
“I know what he did!” I shouted back, “I’m going to have the image of that bitch’s perfect body riding him while I read her tramp stamp burned into my brain for the rest of my life!” I sighed realizing there was no reason to yell. “But, I’m not blameless either. Afterwards, he…” I bit back the tears. “told me all of these things that I wasn’t doing in the relationship. I had no idea he was miserable.”

             
Ben walked over handing me a shot glass. I swallowed the contents immediately. “Do you know what you sound like? Like the woman who got raped and then blamed herself because she was wearing a sexy outfit. Or the woman whose boyfriend hit her and she said that it was her fault because she was being bitchy to him.”

Oh, God. I wasn’t that bad. Was I?
No, not at all. Yes, Ryan cheated, but he was a good person. Ben was blowing this way out of proportion.

             
Ben handed me another shot. I let the contents slide down my throat, burning its way down as he commented, “So what if he was unhappy. He never talked to you about all of these problems before he fucked the chick. If he told you what he wanted fixed, and you didn’t do it, we’d be having a different conversation right now. But, I know that’s not the case. You fucking lived for that douchebag.”

             
I frowned, not liking the way that sounded. I bit my lip, glancing around at the faces of my friends. “I don’t know how to let him go. I was supposed to marry him. He’s the one. I picked him as the one.”

             
“This I gotta hear,” George muttered as he crossed his arms.

             
“Ryan and I were dating for seven months before we… He was my first. I didn’t sleep with him until I realized I wanted to marry him.” My friends stood there speechless. I shook my head. “It’s just different where I come from. You guys wouldn’t understand.” The thought of facing my parents if they ever knew that I slept with Ryan let alone lived with him terrified me- the look of disappointment on my father’s face could crush me with one blow.

             
“Well, I think there’s nothing wrong with where you come from, Annie,” Brian said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, “And your parents are wonderful.” He squeezed his arm around my shoulder tighter. “Besides, doesn’t your father always say that the most important part of faith is mercy, compassion, and forgiveness?” I leaned my head onto his. He always knew what to say. “Don’t beat yourself up over this. Ryan’s just not the one.”

             
Ben and George both shook their heads. “Learn from your lessons and move on. You can’t stay with him,” Ben said.

             
“I actually agree with Ben on this, Annie. It’ll never be the same between you and Ryan again. He’s burned that bridge. You’ll never be able to be with him again and not picture her. His betrayal will just loom over you two like a dark cloud,” Max said.

As soon as he said the words, the image rose in my mind: sculpted back thrusting onto him, hearing his moans of pleasure as she worked his body.

My lip quivered as tears rolled down my cheek. I wiped them away quickly, hoping that in the strange lighting of the club, they wouldn’t see me crying.

             
I couldn’t let them all see me falling apart, so I quipped, “Max, did you just say that you agreed with Ben?”

             
Max harrumphed. “Ladies and gentleman, hell has just frozen over.”

             
“Ha!” Ben slapped Max hard on the back sending him flying forward. “Always knew I could pull you to the dark side. Have a drink, man.”

Max unruffled his shirt, glaring at our friend while taking the shot glass from him.

              Ben held his hand up for the bartender. “Five more shots!”

Brian’s arm was still around me as I leaned into his body, his hand rubbing up and down my arm in a soothing gesture.

              “So, what do you guys look for in a girl?” I asked, realizing that perhaps it was time to tap into my male resource pool for information.

             
“You know I don’t look at anything past the packaging,” George said.

             
“I don’t do relationships either,” Ben answered, “Strictly friends with benefits. None have lasted longer than four months.”

             
I sighed. “Ryan gave me a list of complaints.”

             
“And?”  George asked. Brian was still rubbing my arm.

“And…”I bit my lower lip. “Maybe there’s something to his complaints.”

              “Then hit us with the list. We’ll give you our honest opinion,” Ben said before taking another shot and slamming the empty shot glass back down onto the bar.

             
I sighed, knowing that I had to eat my pride. “Ryan says that I don’t care about my looks. He wished I worked out with him, says I’m too much of a couch potato.”

             
“And do you think there’s truth to his words?” Max asked.

The band on stage must have used a smoke machine, because suddenly the club was foggy and everyone was clapping along to the beat of the song. My friends and I all took a step closer to one another making our circle tighter.

              I nodded my head at Max. “As far as being a couch potato,” I shrugged. “I don’t know. I come home from work, and if I don’t have more work that I need to do, dinner needs to be cooked, the house needs to be cleaned, laundry needs to be done…I don’t know. I’m just exhausted. All I want to do is veg out, relax, and unwind with Ryan.”

             
“That’s not strange. During the week, I always come home and relax after work,” Max stated, crossing his arms.

             
Ben snorted. “Yeah, ‘cause you act like you’re fifty. Annie’s in her early twenties, not in her thirties strapped down by whining kids and an asshole husband.” Ben turned his attention from Max to me. “You’re exhausted, mentally and physically, because your boyfriend is a piece of shit who doesn’t help with anything. You’re as tired as your burned out relationship. Toss him out, and the problem will fix itself.” Ben then drank another shot.

             
I glanced up at Brian to hear his opinion. “Nothing wrong with relaxing…if you’re with the right person.

I needed another drink desperately.

             
“So, is that all of Ryan’s grievances?” Max asked.  I shook my head.

             
George grunted. “Let’s hear what else he had to say.”

             
I blushed slightly before saying, “Ryan hates that I never wear lingerie, and he says I’m not adventurous in bed. He also said that I’m not secure with myself, and I’m uncomfortable being naked around him or undressing.” I rubbed my neck nervously.

They all glanced at each other first before speaking. Ben braved me first.

              “And you agree or disagree?”

             
I closed my eyes nodding in defeat. “He’s totally right that I never wear lingerie, and I’m not very creative in bed.” My cheeks burned brighter as I rubbed my forehead in embarrassment. “But, honestly, it’s just because I’m nervous, and if I wore lingerie, he’d want to look at my body more…”

             
“And you’re apparently uncomfortable with that,” George finished for me. I nodded.

             
“Why on earth do you feel self-conscious with your body? You’re beautiful,” Brian added.

I shook my head.

              “No, you don’t agree, or no, you don’t want to answer the question?” Ben asked, now leaning his arm against the bar.

             
“No to both,” I answered tersely. They all raised their brows at me in question. “There isn’t enough alcohol in this whole bar for
that
story.”

             
“Annie is refusing to tell us a story?” Ben bellowed. “No fucking way!” I shook my head again.

             
“What’s up, Annie, why won’t you tell us?” George looked genuinely hurt that I didn’t want to share.

             
I sighed. “It’s mortifying, unpleasant, and a rather painful memory for me.”

             
“Concerning…?” Max tried to pull the answer out of me. It was an exceptionally rare event when Max pushed someone to speak about anything.

             
“My first time,” I replied quietly.

             
Ben handed me a shot glass, which I drank without argument. “So, he fucked that up, didn’t he?”

             
I handed the glass back as the alcohol burned down my throat. “Something like that.”

             
“Ugh!” George groaned, his hands to his temples. “You can’t tell me these things! I don’t need any more reasons to knock his teeth in!”

             
I blinked, confused by his statement. “I don’t understand. Ryan is your friend too. Why are you guys all on my side?”

             
They all laughed at the same time and replied, “Ryan isn’t our friend.”

             
Ben answered first, “Annie we put up with that asshole because he was your boyfriend. We knew that if we gave you shit about him, you’d be forced to choose between us and him. We didn’t want to put you in that position so we dealt with him in order not to lose you.”

             
“He doesn’t like us either,” Brian added, “He came out with you occasionally to prove a point that even though you were our friend, he was your boyfriend. That’s why he was always touchy feely with you around us. He was reminding us whom you slept with at night.”

             
“Like a dog pissing on a fire hydrant to mark its territory,” Ben added.

             
I glanced around at the faces of my friends who were all frowning. “You really put up with him just to stay friends with me?” They all nodded.  A tear trickled down my eye. “You guys are the best. Gimme hugs!”  Brian hugged me tighter, and Ben came over squeezing me tightly.  Max wasn’t a hugger, so his arm on my shoulder was the same thing.

             
I glanced at George who shook his head. “Later. Chicks can’t keep seeing me hug you, or I won’t score tonight.”

             
I pouted. “But, I was hoping that it might ignite our passion.” Everyone broke into laughter as George shook his head in defeat.

             
“Annie just scored us the next round!” Brian exclaimed.

             
As George ordered the shots begrudgingly, Ben asked, “So, is there anything left from Mr. Wonderful’s list?”

             
I bit my lower lip, glancing around at my friends. “He doesn’t like that I’m friends with so many guys.”

             
They all froze in place, then turned towards me, four pairs of eyes staring at me. “You told him to go fuck himself, right?” I bit my lower lip. “Right?” George exclaimed louder.

I sighed, realizing the biggest problem that I would ever have in my dating life. I couldn’t believe I had been so naïve.

              “I’m going to have this problem with every guy that I date, aren’t I? No guy is ever going to accept that my four closest friends are all males, are they?” The guys all glanced at each other as they refused to look me in the eyes. “So, if I ever want to actually settle down and be serious, I have to end our friendships, don’t I?”

             
“Whoa! Let’s not get crazy here!” George shouted, throwing his hands up in the air.

             
“You just got out of a relationship. Why do you need to go looking for another one right now? Give yourself a solid six months of freedom before you chain yourself down again,” Ben added while he ran his hand through his hair.

             
“I think you’ll need to wean them off of you. If you cut them off cold turkey, it won’t be pretty,” Max commented. I stared at him quizzically, so he clarified, “You’re the only woman that they speak to without staring at her breasts. You’ve always been a whole new world to them, showing them that women and men can be in a room together and not have sex. It’s a big step for them down the road of maturity.” I rolled my eyes at Max who shrugged.

             
“You could solve the problem by dating someone you already know from your past. They’d understand your friendships. You wouldn’t have to lose anyone,” Brian said.

I felt defeated all over again. How had I been so blind?

              “Was our relationship always doomed then…from the beginning?”

             
It was Ben who glanced at me, his face haunted. “No, but it was doomed since the first time he cheated on you. Seven months into your relationship.”

             
Frozen in place, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. “You’re a liar.”

             
He shook his head. “I’m not.”

             
I charged towards him like a bull in Pamplona. “You’re a filthy, dirty liar.”

             
He shook his head. “I have proof. Pictures and recordings of him making out with other girls at home.”

             
“You are such a liar!”  I poked him in the chest.

He stared into my eyes for what felt like years as I heard my heart hammer in my chest, tears threatening to spill.

              “He’d been sleeping with Kelly for the last five months. All that overtime he was supposedly doing?” Ben shook his head. “He’s just been doing her.”

I yanked my hand back ready to smack him, but he never took his eyes away from mine.  Strong arms held my hand before I was able to swing. I glanced back and found Brian holding my arm.

              “You don’t want to do this,” he said sympathetically. “You’ll regret it in the morning. This isn’t you.”

             
I glared back at Ben. “I want to see this so called proof.”

             
“You know you’re welcomed by my apartment any time,” he replied coolly, his eyes never leaving mine.

             
“Then let’s go tonight,” I replied. At this point, I was out for blood.

             
Ben shook his head. “No can do, sweetie. See that girl over there?” I followed his pointed finger to a blonde wearing half a top and skirt along with knee high ‘fuck me’ boots. “That’s where I’ll be tonight.”

             
I glared back at him as he smirked. “It had to be a blonde, didn’t it?” I sneered.

             
He seemed taken off guard. “Would you rather me fuck a brunette tonight?” He frowned, his head tilting sideways. “You’re raw tonight. What’s up?”

             
“Oh, I don’t know. I caught Ryan screwing some girl tonight in our bed, and he’s supposedly sleeping with another one. My pride is wounded, my heart is broken, and I feel completely lost. My friend has video tape of this, but he’s too busy conquering all the sluts in New York tonight to show it to me.” I pointed my finger into his chest repeatedly. “And while you’re busy screwing Miss I’ve-got-daddy-issues tonight, you better think up a damn good reason why after two years I’ll just be seeing these pictures and videos now.”

             
“I don’t need to think about it, I already know why,” he replied, completely unaffected by my temper, his gaze never faltering. “And if you wanted me to think about
you
while fucking other girls, you could have just said so.” He smirked, enjoying his impending victory.

             
I blinked while what he said registered, “Wait. No, I didn’t mean-” I groaned in exasperation as I blushed.

             
“Alright,” I conceded, “You won that round.” I was too flustered to say anything else.

             
He smiled widely as he patted me on the back. “Better luck next time.”

             
“Come on,” Brian’s hand rubbed my shoulder. “Let’s go dance.”

             
“You know I can’t dance. I’ll just step on your toes repeatedly.”

             
“That’s alright. Dance with me anyway.” He flashed his winning smile, and all the anger left me. I walked away with Brian into the middle of the club, feeling my friends’ eyes still on me, no doubt to make fun of me later on.

             
We danced a few songs, and I couldn’t help but enjoy myself. Brian was graceful, if that could be said about a man. Watching him run, it was like poetry in motion. He had been born to do it. I didn’t know if it was because of his height or because of his natural build, but everything physical always appeared effortless for him. While I was busy tripping over my own two feet, he looked like a gazelle, every movement fluid and beautiful.

             
After torturing Brian’s feet thoroughly, I danced with George, Ben, and Max. Of the guys, Max was the best dancer. He was incredibly quick on his feet; I could barely keep up with him as he spun me dizzy. Brian and Max both figured out ways to incorporate ‘ignite our passion’ into conversation, and George was forced to buy two more rounds. We listened to the band that Ben purposefully came to hear, The Screaming Hammerheads. Despite the stupid name, they were incredible. I could easily see them becoming the next ‘big thing’. The choruses were catchy, the lyrics were soulful, and the front man walked around shirtless with an eight pack on his stomach.  I stared at him stupidly for a while, unable to form coherent thoughts.  His jeans hung low on his hips and for a while when he jumped around, I waited with bated breath to see if his pants fell down.

             
“You alright there, Annie?” Ben asked. I could hear the smirk in his voice. “Do you need me to get you a pan to catch the slobber?”

             
Without my eyes ever leaving Mr. Tall, Tan, and Tempting, I replied, “I don’t know what that area on a man is called- that V on his lower abs, but it never fails to render me speechless.”

I heard a loud, bellowing laugh next to me, but I refused to take my eyes off of the gorgeous singer. He jumped up and down while strumming his guitar, and I prayed silently that his pants met the stage floor. Was he a boxers or briefs guy? I couldn’t tell.

              “You don’t want him. I’ve talked to the guy a few times. He’s a total dick to girls,” Ben said.

             
“Who said anything about dating him? I just want to make eye love to him for a while longer,” I replied.  I followed him as he moved back by the drummer. I craned my neck to see. Where was he going? I sighed in relief as he walked back towards the microphone.

             
“You are shameless!” Ben shouted, laughing.

             
“Shh! I’m busy right now. Why don’t you plan out what bullshit you’re going to tell Miss I’m-wearing-half-a-skirt?”

             
“What are you talking about? She’s wearing a full skirt.”

             
I was about to protest when Brian, on my other side, leaned over and asked, “They’re really good, right?”

             
I nodded in agreement before my eyes went back to following the singer across the stage. The drummer played a solo, the crowd screamed as the band shouted, “We’re The Screaming Hammerheads! Thank you for coming out tonight! Our tour schedule can be found at the back of the club along with merchandise for purchase. Thanks for the support!” Ooh, I needed to get my hands on one of those tour schedules immediately. I clapped before putting my fingers in my mouth and whistling loudly. The sound rose above all other cheers and the singer bowed in my direction.