Winger (22 page)

“This is what Annie’s told us about you, Ryan Dean,” her mother said. “Tell us if we’re right. She says you are the smartest boy in the school, you’re a great athlete, and you made the varsity rugby team when you were in tenth grade. And she told us you are the best-looking boy at school too.”

Annie coughed.

My ears turned red.

“You’re Annie’s first real boyfriend,” her father said.

“Okay, that’s enough of that,” Annie said. “Ryan Dean and I are just really good friends. That’s all.”

I guess that whole “boyfriend” label did kind of make it sound like salmon spawning, as Seanie might have noticed.

“Tell us about where you live, Ryan Dean,” Doc Mom said, turning sideways to look at me.

“O-Hall,” I said, and then I thought, why am I such a fucking idiot? I wasn’t even listening to her; I was too caught up in thinking about being Annie’s “boyfriend.”

Annie coughed again, no doubt choking on the thought of bringing a delinquent to Bainbridge Island for the weekend.

“I mean . . . I live in Weston,” I corrected. “I don’t get home much.”

“That’s a shame,” Doc Mom said. “Well, you are welcome to visit us anytime you’d like.”

I looked at Annie and smiled, and she mouthed “pervert” to me.

We were paused in a line of cars making their way onto the ferry.

“Well, what brought you two together?” Doc Dad asked me.

“Annie was the first person I met at Pine Mountain,” I said. “I was really lost and out of place when I started.” I slid my hand over so I touched Annie’s fingers, and she pulled her hand away. “But Annie came right up and introduced herself and helped show me around. She’s been
my best friend ever since that day, and I’d do anything for her.”

“You are such a sweet boy!” Doc Mom chirped. “Have you ever been to Seattle before, Ryan Dean?”

“No, ma’am,” I said, laying it on as thick as possible, momentarily fantasizing about that dreamed-of couch in Annie’s bedroom. “But it really is beautiful here.”

“Wait till you see the house,” she said. “We are right on the waterfront, and we look across the sound to the Seattle skyline and Mount Rainier. It’s a perfect spot.”

Yeah, I thought, how could it
not
be? As long as it’s got Annie in it—and you keep her gay dog off my leg—you could live in a fucking plywood lean-to.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Annie said. “Did you bring any swim trunks? We have an indoor pool and Jacuzzi.”

“Wow,” I said. “No. I didn’t.”

I looked down, then shrugged and looked over at Annie and whispered, “I’ll go without.”

Annie rolled her eyes.

“We can pick some up for you on the island, Ryan Dean,” Doc Mom said.

Score.

Even if it rained all weekend, I’d still get to be Annie Altman’s pool boy.

OKAY.

I realized why my dad refuses to shop for anything, even golf clubs and fishing gear, with my mom.

For most women, I think shopping becomes something like a model of the expanding universe, only rather than relating to the Big Bang, Ryan Dean West’s Law of Shopping deals with the expansion of time, and “adorable stuff” to look at. Kind of like a supernova rather than a black hole—the opposite of having your balls stepped on, as similar as the experiences may actually be.

I can only imagine, not that I thought for even a fleeting instant about opening that goddamned package, that my mother had spent all day long asking all kinds of questions before deciding on just the right condoms and “how to have sex the first time” booklet, which she later undoubtedly exchanged for a cute pair of socks with sailboats on them before ultimately leaving the store and going to a different goddamned condom and “how to have sex the first time” emporium.

This is shopping.

And this was the Ryan-Dean-West-swim-trunk-shopping expedition with Annie and Doc Mom.

At first, Annie was messing around and tried to make a case that I
was on the Pine Mountain swim team, so she told Doc Mom to look in the Speedo section.

Her mistake. I completely went along with her. What was she thinking? I actually thought it would be kind of hot to wear Speedos in front of Annie and her mom. But when Annie realized what was happening, she got this terrified, defeated look and said, “I think it’s time for you to move up to big boy board shorts, Ryan Dean.”

“No. Really,” I insisted.

Big boy board shorts. What a bunch of crap.

The only cool part about the whole experience was that every time they’d look at a new pair of trunks, Doc Mom would hold them up to my waist, pinning them with her thumbs to my hips so she and Annie could imagine how I’d look in them.

Yeah, I’ll admit I didn’t get too tired of that routine.

And the shopping went on and on until Doc Dad said he had to pee really bad. So Annie and Doc Mom settled on a pair of plain red lifeguard baggies that were exactly the ones I would have chosen for myself about an hour and a half earlier.

While they were waiting to pay, Doc Dad leaned close to me and whispered, “I don’t really have to pee, Ryan Dean, but I’ve found that the need to pee is about the only force that sufficiently shrinks Rachel’s universe to the point where she’ll cut short a shopping experience.”

Now here was a guy I totally understood.

I bet he could fake-cry, too.

GREEN.

That’s Bainbridge Island.

It’s one of the most intensely green places I’ve ever seen. And I never for a moment imagined the kind of home Annie’s family lived in.

The house was set right up against the shore, facing Puget Sound and, across it, Seattle. We drove up a long driveway through trees to the garage, and then walked a pathway through gardens that had been decorated with strange and beautiful metal and enamel sculptures of fish, animals, and native totems.

“Annie made all of these sculptures herself,” Doc Mom said, “in her studio.”

They were incredible. I looked at Annie. I always knew she was creative and brilliant, but I never realized she could do something as amazing as this.

“You’re incredible,” I said to her.

“Thank you,” she said.

Where the gardens opened up, we stepped out onto a wide grass lawn in front of the house, which was mostly made of stone and had tall windows all along the front, looking out across the water. There was a broad wooden deck on the edge of the lawn, right where the
grass gave way to a slope of black lava rocks that lined the shore. You couldn’t see any other house from there; the property was surrounded by forest.

And just as we got to the front door, the sun hit the perfect angle in the west behind us, and it looked like the entire city of Seattle turned rust hued, and the peak of Mount Rainier seemed to float, salmon colored, in the sky.

“Hey,” I said, “you can see the Space Needle from your front yard.”

Annie rolled her eyes.

“If you get changed out of your strip-search clothes, we can walk on the beach before dinner,” she said.

I will admit that my inside-out sock was bothering me, but all I had besides school clothes were running shorts, sweats, and my new swim trunks.

“Okay,” I said.

Doc Dad led the way into the entry hall and said, “Annie, why don’t you take Ryan Dean to the guest room.”

Damn.

“Oh, he doesn’t want to be that far away, all alone,” she said.

Oh my God. Will it actually happen?

Annie continued, “I’ll put him in the little room across from mine.”

Next thing I knew, I heard the clicking of manicured dog nails on the wood floor, followed by the chirplike shriek of repetitive barking,
and then this smash-faced little dog appeared and immediately came after my leg in a hump ambush.

“Pedro!” Annie scolded.

“Just kick him,” Doc Mom said. “He never quits, otherwise.”

You know, when someone tells you to kick their dog—the same dog who is currently in a breeding frenzy with your nicest pair of dorky school pants—it’s a difficult thing to judge exactly how hard the dog should be kicked. So I decided I’d give Pedro a conservative three out of five Cossack dancers on the Ryan Dean West How-Far-to-Kick-a-Gay-Pug Spectrum.

“That’s mean!” Annie said, but she did kind of laugh as Pedro skittered like a hockey puck toward the sunken living room.

“Good man, Ryan Dean,” Doc Dad said. “I don’t know why we haven’t cut his balls off yet.”

And why is it, I thought, that whenever boys consider such measures—despite their justifiability—we always get a bit scared, morose, and angsty?

Oh, well.

“Come on,” Annie said. Then she grabbed my hand to lead me down the hallway to our right. She stopped suddenly.

Annie must have realized what she was doing (unlike Pedro, she could control the involuntary impulse to conjugate with Ryan Dean West), because she immediately let go like my hand was a red-hot thing that gets . . . red . . . hot.

Or something.

I followed her, lugging my suitcase and the bag from the sporting goods store.

“The door on the right is your room,” she said. “Just across the hall from mine.”

I opened my door and set my bags down on the floor.

It’s amazing how much a guy can appreciate a non-bunk-bed bed and a bathroom that doesn’t have at least two other guys in it at all times. The window was uncovered and looked out at the beach and tall dark pines, and I had my own television and a huge bathroom with an ice-block shower cubicle.

“How do you like it?” Annie said.

“Please adopt me,” I said. Then I added, “No. On second thought, that could get a little weird. Let’s just hop across the border to Canada and get married.”

Annie laughed. I kicked my shoes off and said, “I’ll get changed.”

“Okay. Meet me in the hall in, like, thirty seconds,” she said.

Hmmm . . .
I thought, thirty seconds meant I’d have time to get
out
of my clothes but not into them. Oh, well, wishful thinking. Docs Mom and Dad would probably disapprove of the clothing-optional houseguest, and that dog was out there waiting for me, anyway.

“Okay,” I said, and Annie left me alone.

Whenever I get off an airplane, I feel like I’ve been deep fried, dripping in oil. And I probably smelled like booze from drunk-bald-fat-guy
slobbering on my shoulder. So it felt really good to tear all my clothes off (without a couple security guards pawing through them), and even better to just throw them onto the floor, something I hadn’t been able to do all year.

Now, with all the scattered, discarded articles of boy-clothes, this looked like a real guy’s room.

All I needed to do was mess up the perfectly smoothed bedcovers, which I did with a jump.

I put on the red trunks they bought me, as well as a gray Pine Mountain RFC (which means Rugby Football Club) sweatshirt, some clean, inside-in socks, and my running shoes, and I was out my door and in the hall in under a minute.

Annie opened her door.

No matter what she wore, Annie Altman always looked perfect. She had changed into faded jeans that were just wearing through at the knees and along the bottoms of the pockets, with a pale blue sweater that really made her black hair and blue eyes stand out, even in the dim light of the hallway.

I had never seen her dressed in “home clothes” before, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

And, I am such a loser, I couldn’t even speak when she asked, “Want to see my room?”

Her room was so . . . Annie. The walls were covered with paintings, and sculptures of fish and birds that she’d made. Her windows
looked out into the forest, and she had French doors that opened to a stepping-stone path.

Next to her bed was a Wonder Horse, one of those spring-mounted things kids used to play on, like, a hundred years ago.

“Wow,” I said, but my voice cracked like a kid who suddenly realized he was alone inside the bedroom of the girl he loved, which made sense, considering the oppressive reality of my surrounding conditions. “Do you still ride?”

Annie laughed. “Come on.”

She opened the paned doors and led me onto the path outside her room.

WE WALKED ALONG THE ROCKY
beach in the sunset.

The water in the sound was so black and rolling, jagged and alive. Everything smelled like the sea and trees. Between the cracks in the rocks, I could see the claws of wedged-in crabs, spitting bubbles, sometimes moving slightly like they wanted to keep an eye on us, like they were spying on us.

“Tomorrow morning we can go run out past that point.” Annie’s hand indicated a distant and darkening stand of trees.

“This is so nice,” I said. My shoes were wet from walking too close to the water. “Thanks so much for asking me, Annie.”

“I knew you’d like it.”

“I never knew you were such an artist,” I said.

“Just like you,” she said.

“Crud. You are so much more. I draw stick figures. You make stuff that’s
real
.”

“I can tell my mom and dad really like you.”

I pulled out the leg of my trunks. “I got the trunks on.”

“They look good.”

We stopped and turned back toward the house. It was beginning to get dark.

I was convinced she was playing the same game with me that I was playing with her, but I wasn’t going to fall for it. Not for a second. There was still that sensible and pathetic part of my mind that kept telling me Annie Altman only thought I was a little kid and nothing else.

But we did stand there for a minute, and I could smell her, and feel the warmth like a static charge coming from her. And she looked at my face, and we were so close when she said, “Your stitches look like they’re getting better.”

I leaned closer to her. Damn, she looked so nice, and I was so impressed by how she lived and the beautiful things she’d created there with her own hands, and I wanted to . . .