Wilted (6 page)

“Er… Yes, sir. I think I just ate something that didn’t agree with me.”

“Perhaps you should go home and lie down. You look awfully pale.”

Gee, thanks, dude. I guess that’s a polite way of saying, “You look like complete shit, Ms. Reynolds.”

“I think you’re right. I’m sure I’ll be better if I can sleep whatever this is off.”

Another round of nausea hits and sends me turning back into the ladies’ room. Karen from down the hall comes in just as I’m splashing water on my face.

“Oh, honey. You look awful!”

Finally! An honest fucking opinion. Bravo for Karen from accounting for keeping it real. Propping my hands on the side of the counter, I brace myself up. Right now, I don’t know that I won’t have to puke again in just a second. Karen reaches over, grabs a towel, and soaks it in the sink.

“Thanks.” I place the cool cloth on my head.

“You know, it’s none of my business, but I know that look all too well.”

“What look?” I reply, confused by her statement.

“Pregnant.”

Pregnant?
The word echoes in my ears. Oh dear God! I can’t be. No, that’s ridiculous. I’m just tired and overly emotional here lately. A little nausea doesn’t prove anything.

“Oh no, I’m not pregnant. I’m on the pill.”

We won’t talk about how many of those pills I’ve missed these past few months from staying over at Nik’s house.

“Yeah, well, I’ve got three kids, honey. All three times, I got knocked up while on the pill. Don’t hold too much faith in those statistics. There are those percentages for effectiveness for a reason you know.”

“No, I’m sure it’s just something I ate. I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so.” Patting me on the back, she retreats into the bathroom stall.

The longer I stand there looking at myself in the mirror, the more fear runs over me. I can’t be pregnant. I just can’t be.

After work, I’d stopped by the corner pharmacy and purchased an EPT test. Holding in my pee, I took the damn thing when I got home, but ended up passing out on the couch for the rest of the afternoon. In a panic, I woke up about twenty minutes ago. I know I don’t have much time before Nik will be knocking on my door. I rush into the bathroom to see what the test results are.

I stare down at the plastic stick on my bathroom counter in disbelief. Digging the instructions out of the trash, I frantically begin searching for my answer. My answer came in two dark pink lines on a stick.

No! Pregnant.

This fucking can’t be happening right now. He’s going to be here any minute. What am I going to do? The doorbell ringing sends me in a near panic attack. With one frantic rake of my hand, I shove all the contents into the top drawer and make my way to the front door. There’s no way I can go over to his place tonight.

Answering the door, he wastes no time pulling me to him. Before I know what’s going on, my back slams against my metal loft door. Taking my hands in his, he raises them above my head before trailing kisses down my neck.

“I’ve missed you so goddamn much.”

I work to find my voice. “I can tell.”

Nik reaches for my hand and places it on his hard cock.

“See what you’ve done? You’ve left me hard all damn afternoon. And I plan on making you pay for that. All. Night. Long.” His hot kisses trail down my neck, soaking my panties in the process.

My heart sinks. There’s nothing I’d rather do than forget about that damn test, but I can’t. I can’t go over to his house. I’ve got to get out of this. Right now, I need time to myself to think. Being around him is nothing but a distraction… a very good distraction, mind you. In order to get my head straight, I need to be away from him. It’s the only way I will be able to be strong enough to talk to him about this.

“Hey. Did I say something wrong?” He must notice the way I’ve disconnected from him.

“No, of course not. I’m just, well, I’m not feeling so good. Evan sent me home because I got sick at work.”

“How kind of him.” He snarls. Nik is no fan of my boss. He thinks Evan’s just looking for a way into my bed, but Nik is way too over the top with jealousy sometimes. Sure, I would be lying if I said Evan was not very hot, but I’ve never been attracted to him.

“Stop it, Nik. He just was concerned, is all.”

“Why didn’t you call me? I’d have come picked you up.”

“I didn’t call you because I didn’t want to bother you. Besides that, I’m l just fine. Despite what you think, I don’t need people to take care of me, Nik!”

Anger fills his face. I know I’m about to get that infamous temper of his. I brace for it, but then the unexpected happens. Faster and faster, the room begins to spin. And, as if on cue, my knees pick the perfect time to buckle. Oh, shit! Like my knight in shining armor, Nik’s there catching me as I drop.

“That’s it. You’re coming home with me. No arguing.” After leading me to the couch, he disappears into the coat closet and returns with one of my bags.

“You’re going to stay with me this weekend and I’m going to take such good care of you that you’re not going to want to come home.” His voice trails off as he disappears through the door to my bedroom.

“Nik, I’m not going over to your house. As a matter of fact, you need to leave. I could be contagious.” I hate myself for the lie that has just come out of my mouth, but I can’t help it. I’m desperate for him to go so I can make better sense of this situation.

“I told you, you’re coming with me. No arguments,” he says, as he drops my bag on the floor and crosses the hall towards the bathroom.

I hear him rattling through my cosmetics on the counter. Leaning back against the sofa, I breathe a sigh of relief that I hid that damn test.

“What else do you need?” he asks, sticking his head out the door to look at me.

I know how determined he is and there’s no way he’s letting me off. I’ll just stay the night and come back home in the morning.

“Don’t worry about my stuff, Nik. I have everything there at your house, remember?”

I wait, but there’s no answer.

“Nik?”

Silence.

And then, as I stand on my wobbly feet, I look up and meet his hard stare from the doorway. His hand tightly clenches the test strip while his jaw tenses.

“What’s this?” The anger in his voice sends chills through me.

“Nik, please. I don’t want to do this right now.”

“Now? Well, when the fuck had you planned on doing this? How long have you been hiding this, anyways?”

“Shut the fuck up, Nik! I haven’t been hiding anything! I just took the damn thing today, all right?”

“You told me you were on the goddamn pill, Kylie! Or was that a lie?”

“I know… I am. That’s the truth, I swear.”

“Then how is this thing positive?”

“I don’t know, Nik. I… I might have missed a few pills this month.”

“Might? You
might
have missed some pills. Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“Nik, please. We don’t even know if that’s a real positive or not. Sometimes they’re wrong. I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow and have them run a test there. There’s no need to get upset until we know for sure.”

“I can’t believe you! Of course, I’m upset. I don’t want kids. You know that! This is all your perfect little scheme to trap me into marrying you and getting my money. Isn’t it? I should have fucking known not to trust you!”

His vicious words completely level me. My stomach feels like it’s been kicked. He hates me. I know that look all too well. He has the same look when he talks about his parents.

“Nik, I… I would never do that to you. You have to believe me! Whatever this is, we’ll work it out together. I… I love you.” My words come out before I can stop them. Of course, I love him. I’ve loved him since the day he’d walked into my life. I’d finally admitted it to myself months ago, but I knew he’d never say the words back, so I kept them to myself. So many times when we’d lay entangled in one another, I’d feel the words at the tip of my tongue. But every single time, I’d swallowed them down. He can never handle hearing them. Perhaps, I can’t handle knowing that he couldn’t.

“Love me? This isn’t love, Kylie. Is that what you think… that this is love? Rest assured I don’t love you. And I certainly don’t want a baby with you or anyone else for that matter.”

“Nik… please. I’m so sorry.”

Furious, he throws down the test and rushes to the door. “I’ll have your shit delivered to your office tomorrow.”

Petrified, I hug my upper body and drop to my knees.
No. Please don’t leave me. God, please, don’t let him leave me. I won’t survive this again.
He grabs the handle of the loft door and hesitates before exiting. He turns around to face me, fury etched in every line of his body. I’ve seen him mad, but never like this before. The darkness in his eyes makes me shake with fear..

“Oh, and Kylie?” His voice makes me shiver again. “For your sake and mine, get rid of it.”

And with that, he walks out of my apartment door and out of my life.

NIKOLAS

The minute I walk out the door, I regret it. Hell, who am I kidding? The minute I opened my mouth to say those cruel things to her, I regretted it. She tells me she loves me, and what do I do? I crush what’s left of her soul by saying that I don’t love her, that I could never love her. All my life I’ve waited to hear those words from someone. Someone who really meant them. Someone I love too. Yet the moment I hear them, I panic and shove the person away.

What the hell is wrong with me?

My mind goes back to the test.
A baby?
Am I seriously going to be a dad? I haven’t ever given much thought to having kids. I mean I like them all right and all, but the idea of changing diapers and shit, well, that’s an entirely different story. It’s not that I don’t want to be a dad. It’s that I don’t know how to be one. Heaven knows my father didn’t set an example of how to be a good one. Mine is biological, that’s all. He doesn’t give a damn about me. He’s even gone so far as to tell me that very thing numerous times in my life. That, along with how he’d wish I had never been born. Speaking of which. Fuck! I’m such an asshole! I can’t believe I’d told her to get rid of it. I’d take the responsibility of supporting it, but I’d have to walk away. Truth is, this kid will be better off without me. He or she doesn’t need me as the messed up, fuck of a father I’d be to them.