William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return (8 page)

But who hath said that they did not inquire?

Yet I am not of madness made. And thou,

Remember well, art fashion’d of respect.

I prithee, gather ’round, ye rebels all,

And mark ye well the message I relay.

The Emperor hath made a critical

Mistake, and our time for attack is nigh.

The data brought to us by Bothan spies

Details th’exact location of the vast

New battle station that the Emperor

Hath underta’en to build. We also know

This battle station’s weapon systems are

Not fully operational as yet.

Th’Imperi’l fleet is spread both far and wide

Throughout the galaxy, with hopes—quite vain—

That they shall soon engage us in a fight.

And while the fleet’s away, the station hath

But minimal protection. This, my friends,

Would be good news enough, but there is more:

Reliable report hath come to us

That e’en the dreaded Emp’ror Palpatine

Himself doth oversee construction of

The Death Star, and is presently on board.

This news doth cheer us, friends, but pray recall

That many Bothans died to bring it here.

I call on Adm’ral Ackbar to unfold

Our plan so you may know your roles in this,

The final chapter of rebellion’s tale.

[Admiral Ackbar turns on a visual model of the Death Star and the forest moon of Endor.

You may within this model see the Death

Star orbiting around the forest moon

Of Endor. Though the weapons systems on

The Death Star are not operational

As yet, the Death Star hath a strong defense:

It is secur’d by shield of energy

A’generated on the forest moon.

Deactivated must this shield be ere

We can attack. Then, when the shield hath been

Disarm’d, our cruisers shall take wing and fly

Within the superstructure to destroy

The main reactor. This attack shall be

Made by a squadron of our wingèd ships

Led by our General Calrissian,

Who is a worthy and a noble chap.

Good luck be thine, my friend. Thou shalt need it.

Thus endeth my report. Now General

Madine, thine efforts for our mission wilt

Thou presently recap?

—We’ve stolen an

Imperi’l shuttle, which, disguisèd as

A cargo ship, shall use a secret code

To land upon the moon. Thereon a team

Shall fearlessly deactivate the shield.

A dangerous experience, no doubt.

[
to Han:
] And who, I wonder, has agreed to it?

For such a mission may quite futile prove.

Nay, be thou not afraid. A man of wit,

Of clever mind and fine exterior

They must have chosen, whom thou shalt approve.

Good Gen’ral Solo, is thy team prepar’d?

[
aside:
] A man of wit! He ne’er doth cease t’amaze.

My team is ready, yet I do not have

A crew who shall the shuttle’s flight command.

Auugh!

—It shall not be easy, friend, thus I

Had not yet volunteer’d thy worthy name.

Egh!

—Well! Now have I one!

—And count me two.

Good General, I gladly follow thee.

Wherever thou dost go, then so shall I,

Wherever thou remain, thus I shall too,

Thy people shall my people be as well,

And all thy battles shall my battles be.

Why have but two when three is company?

I shall go with thee also, noble friend.

[
Aside:
] My sister! Ah! To see her fills my heart!

[Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia embrace.

What is’t?

—Ask yet again, another time.

Ho, Luke!

—Good Han, and Chewie!

—Beep, meep, squeak!

“Exciting” would not be my word of choice,

’Tis more like “harrowing,” if I were ask’d.

[Exeunt all but Han Solo and Lando of Calrissian.

Now preparation’s made, good Lando, yet

A word with thee ere thou depart, my friend:

With heart sincere I proffer this to thee:

Take thou my ship, the brave
Millenn’um Falcon
.

Thou shalt be greatly aided in thy task

If thou wilt take the fastest ship that e’er

Did fly within our galaxy. Thou dost

Have more experience with this swift ship

Than any but Chewbacca and myself.

Thou art a skill’d and worthy pilot, and

I trust that thou shalt keep her safe.

—’Tis well,

I am persuaded, and shall take the ship

And leave with thee both gratitude and my

Assurance that I know how deeply thy

Heart stirs for her. Thus do I pledge: I shall

Take care of her as though she were my own,

And shall deliver her sans e’en a scratch.

[
aside:
] This Lando doth protest too much, methinks.

I was not nervous till he made his pledge.

[
To Lando:
] No scratch, indeed. I take with me thy word.

We part, thou pirate true. And Han, good luck.

To thee as well, good friend.

[Exit Lando of Calrissian as Han Solo boards the Imperial shuttle
Tydirium.

—Auugh.

—Nay, I think

The Empire had not Wookiees on their minds

When they design’d her, Chewie. Are we set?

I see the good
Millenn’um Falcon
yon,

And wonder how the die for her is cast.

Art thou awake, or dost thou slumber on?

A feeling tells me this look is my last.

Auugh.

—General, let us depart.

—Aye, true—

Now let’s see what this heap of junk can do!

[Exeunt, flying off in the shuttle
Tydirium.

The strangest feelings have been mine of late.

To know my son exists confounds my wits

As I did ne’er imagine. What is this

Confusion that doth obfuscate my mind?

For evil I am made, for punishment

Of foes, for conquering of peoples, and

To do the perfect will of my great lord

And Emperor. Of these I certain am,

For this hath been my role full many years.

Yet where within this surety is room

For offspring? For a son? What can a life

Liv’d on the dark side of the Force have still

To do with heirs, with flesh and bone that sprang

From me and that sweet life that once I led?

How can this Sith, this man of pain and death,

Be father to the fruit of far-gone love?

It seems well nigh impossible when one

Considers what I’ve been. For, verily,

I may not hide the man I truly am:

A warrior devoted to the cause

Of Emperor and Empire both. ’Tis who

I am: I must be mad when I have cause

And smile at no one’s jests. No humor doth

Give pleasure to my mouth or stir my heart,

Nor would I dare to ever love again,

If e’en this mess of tangl’d wires could love.

I am a Sith, most surely to be fear’d.

Yet that perplexing thing remains: a son.

What is thy bidding, master?

—Send the fleet

Unto the farthest side of Endor. There

Let it remain, until ’tis callèd for.

What of the recent news that rebels are

Amassing near to Sullust? Is it so?

It is of little consequence, for soon

This vile Rebellion shall be crushèd and

Young Skywalker shall know the dark side’s pow’r.

Thy work upon the Death Star is complete.

Thou shalt go hence to the command ship, and

Await my orders there.

—My master: aye.

[Exit Darth Vader.

Now all the players and the scenes are set

To bring about our greatest triumph yet.

[Exeunt.

Now if the Empire is not by our ruse

Deceiv’d, we must fly quickly, Chewie.

—Auugh.

We have you on our screens; identify

Yourselves.

—The shuttle of
Tydirium

Requests deactivation of the shield

Of energy.

—
Tydirium
, transmit

Your clearance code for passage through the shield.

Transmission doth commence.

—Now shall we learn

If all these codes were worth the price we paid

For them—the loss of friends, the loss of life.

Aye, it shall work, ’twas sacrifice well made.

Egh!

—Vader is aboard that giant ship.

Be not afear’d, good Luke, let not thy nerves

Thy better judgment mar. Full many ships

There are that do command the Empire’s fleet.

Keep thou thy distance, though, Chewbacca, but

Do not appear as though thou keepest it.

Auugh?