William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return (14 page)

[
aside:
]    —Or this shall be

The shortest onslaught we will e’er attempt.

All groups assume attack coordinates,

And craft prepare to jump to hyperspace

When I have giv’n the sign to make it hap’.

[The ships jump to hyperspace.

Now we approach the Death Star, Admiral.

The moment hath arriv’d for us to strike

And win the day in grand Rebellion’s name.

All wings, I prithee, make report.

—’Tis I,

Red Leader, standing by.

—Gray Leader doth

Stand by.

—’Tis I, Green Leader standing by.

Now lock thine S-foils in attacking mode.

And may the Force be with us in this scrap.

[
aside:
] Like thee, dear friends, I have observer been

Of all this great Rebellion for a time.

Yet I have also been participant,

And fortunate enough to keep my life

E’en when full many others have expir’d.

The first grave Death Star battle I did see,

All ships but Luke’s and mine were cruelly wreck’d.

I dwelt within the rebels’ base on Hoth,

Where I fac’d AT-ATs in the snowy fight.

The second Death Star shall I here confront,

But know not whether I shall live or die.

Still, my life is but little consequence,

For though it ever in grave danger be,

I know I play a mere supporting part

Unto the greater cause of this Rebellion.

I am an actor in a drama vast—

A witness to the tragedy and hope,

The pain, the joy, the sadness, and the fear

That ever follow bold Rebellion’s name.

Like thee, I wonder how the tale will end,

And who shall live to see the glorious day

When falls the curtain on the Empire’s might.

Until that day I shall be on the scene,

To play my part as pilot: faithful, true,

Committed to the play that doth play out,

Determin’d to help write our final act—

To lift our noble cause e’en by a Wedge.

[
to Lando:
] Lamou-be-o-tee?

—But what dost thou mean?

We must be able to detect the shield,

Whether ’tis up or down.

—Na mateeou.

How could the Empire jam our scan, unless

They knew that we were coming—O, alas!

What awful understanding hath just now

Broke in upon mine unsuspecting mind!

I see now we are caught—break off th’attack!

The shield is up.

—I get no reading, Sir.

Canst thou be sure?

—Pull up, good men, pull up!

[The rebels begin to change course and retreat from the Death Star.

Prepare to take evasive action! Heed

My words, ye pilots all. Green Team, hear now:

Stay close to sector MV-7 on

The map.

—Good admiral, approaching ships!

It is the enemy.

—O knavery

Most vile, O trick of Empire’s basest wit.

A snare, a ruse, a ploy: and we the fools.

What great deception hath been plied today—

O rebels, do you hear? Fie, ’tis a trap!

The fighters come upon us!

—Woe is me,

There are too many! O, what shall we do?

Accelerate to full attacking speed.

Be sure thou draw their fire far from the cruisers.

I copy and obey, Gold Leader.

—Come,

My boy, and see what doth befall thy friends.

From here thou shalt bear witness to the end—

The final, whole destruction of the weak

Alliance, and Rebellion’s ruin, too.

How stir thy feelings now, apprentice mine?

[
aside:
] What torment fills my soul! Shall I take up

My lightsaber and so destroy this man?

Be still, else by my thoughts I am betray’d.

This lightsaber that resteth by my side—

Thou dost desire it hotly, dost thou not?

The hate doth swell within thee even now—

It hath an aura palpable. Take up

Thy Jedi weapon, use it. I—as thou

Canst see—am quite unarm’d. So strike me down

With all thy hatred, let thine anger stir.

Each moment thou dost more become my slave.

Nay, thou shalt not condemn me to the dark.

My father’s tragic fate shall not be mine.

’Tis unavoidable. ’Tis destiny.

No person ever dodg’d their final fate,

Or kept the sands of time from flowing free.

Thou shalt not ’scape the bounds of providence,

Or trick the whims of fortune’s fickle wheel.

So hear these words and well believe them, boy:

Thou now art mine, just as thy father is.

Together we are powerful, we three—

When thou art turn’d, we’ll rule the galaxy.

[Exeunt.

[
to Han:
] Thou rebel dog, move quickly, lest thou die.

Forsooth, ’twould give me pleasure to destroy

Thee, and would bring a great reward, as well.

[
to Leia:
] This mission, it would seem, hath fail’d, ’less there

Is yet some unknown force to rescue us.

We must have confidence—all is not lost.

E’en in the darkest hour we may have hope—

Experience hath taught me thus, for once

I did lose thee, which was far worse than this.

What, ho! I say, ye stormtroopers, were you

A’searching for me and my mate?

—The droid,

What is his game? I hope the silly fool

Knows what he does.

—Auugh!

—Bring those two to me!

I’ll not be mock’d by droids whilst I have breath.

[The stormtroopers rush toward the droids.

They speed to us anon. I say, R2,

Art thou assur’d this is a good idea?

Beep, whistle, meep! [
Aside:
] Thou soon shalt see, my friend,

How well I have consider’d this idea.

For though the furry creatures harmless seem,

And though I am a simple, squeaking droid,

Together we’ve a cunning strategy.

Now freeze, ye wayward droids! And do not move!

Most heartily I grant thee my surrender.

[The stormtroopers reach the droids. As they begin to take the droids to the other rebels, Ewoks enter from every corner of the stage to fight the Imperial troops. The Ewoks blow horned instruments to signal the attack.

What sound is this? The call of horns and fife!

The battle hath begun in earnest with

A fairer balance of the rival sides.

Those noble little creatures have arriv’d

To bear the standard of our worthy cause.

What loud commotion hath their coming made—

Now arrows fly from their well-aimèd bows,

And hit the mark—the troops fall left and right.

O sit thee back no more, Han, take thy stand!

Let courage stir within my smuggler’s blood!

[Han begins fighting the Imperial troops around him.

O bravely met, good friends, fight on! Now Han,

We must unto the bunker and renew

Our effort to make entrance and destroy

The shield that still about the Death Star lies.

We represent Rebellion’s greatest hope!

[Han and Leia make their way to the bunker. Exit Chewbacca, fighting. R2-D2 watches the battle from the other side of the stage.

[
aside:
] See how the creatures fight! What skill and wit

They use to struggle ’gainst their foes. There is

One flying through the sky on wings of bark,

Who drops upon the walker his small load.

The AT-ST doth not feel the hit,

But O, what daring hath the creature shown!

A group doth hold a rope across the path

To trip a walker up, yet it but pulls

Them all along. Yet some have triumph’d, too,

For they have crush’d a walker’s cockpit with

Two trunks of trees sent swinging from the vines.

Another gang employs large catapults

To send vast boulders hurtling through the sky.

Still others choose small stones to slay the troops,

And bash their helmets in with utmost glee.

There’s one who takes a rock upon a string,

And tries to fling it t’ward a trooper’s head,

But hath instead his own small visage hit.

What gallantry of spirit have these beasts.

E’en if their efforts sometimes are in vain,

They do what I, encas’d in steel, may not:

They put their bodies fully in the fight.