William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition (326 page)

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Authors: William Shakespeare

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HORATIO That is most certain.

HAMLET Up from my cabin,

My sea-gown scarfed about me in the dark,
Groped I to find out them, had my desire,
Fingered their packet, and in fine withdrew
To mine own room again, making so bold,
My fears forgetting manners, to unseal
Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio—
O royal knavery!—an exact command,
Larded with many several sorts of reasons
Importing Denmark’s health, and England’s, too,
With ho! such bugs and goblins in my life,
That on the supervise, no leisure bated,
No, not to stay the grinding of the axe,
My head should be struck off.

HORATIO

Is’t possible?

HAMLET (
giving it to him
)

Here’s the commission. Read it at more leisure.
But wilt thou hear me how I did proceed?

HORATIO I beseech you.

HAMLET

Being thus benetted round with villainies—
Ere I could make a prologue to my brains,
They had begun the play—sat me down,
Devised a new commission, wrote it fair.
I once did hold it, as our statists do,
A baseness to write fair, and laboured much
How to forget that learning; but, sir, now
It did me yeoman’s service. Wilt thou know
Th’effect of what I wrote?

HORATIO

Ay, good my lord.

HAMLET

An earnest conjuration from the King,
As England was his faithful tributary,
As love between them like the palm should flourish,
As peace should still her wheaten garland wear
And stand a comma ‘tween their amities,
And many such like ‘as’es of great charge,
That on the view and know of these contents,
Without debatement further more or less,
He should the bearers put to sudden death,
Not shriving-time allowed.

HORATIO

How was this sealed?

HAMLET

Why, even in that was heaven ordinant.
I had my father’s signet in my purse,
Which was the model of that Danish seal;
Folded the writ up in the form of th‘other,
Subscribed it, gave’t th’impression, placed it safely,
The changeling never known. Now the next day
Was our sea-fight; and what to this was sequent
Thou know’st already.

HORATIO

So Guildenstern and Rosencrantz go to’t.

HAMLET

Why, man, they did make love to this employment.
They are not near my conscience. Their defeat
Doth by their own insinuation grow.
’Tis dangerous when the baser nature comes
Between the pass and fell incensed points
Of mighty opposites.

HORATIO

Why, what a king is this!

HAMLET

Does it not, think‘st thee, stand me now upon—
He that hath killed my king and whored my mother,
Popped in between th’election and my hopes,
Thrown out his angle for my proper life,
And with such coz’nage—is’t not perfect conscience
To quit him with this arm? And is’t not to be damned
To let this canker of our nature come
In further evil?

HORATIO

It must be shortly known to him from England
What is the issue of the business there.

HAMLET

It will be short. The interim’s mine,
And a man’s life’s no more than to say ‘one’.
But I am very sorry, good Horatio,
That to Laertes I forgot myself;
For by the image of my cause I see
The portraiture of his. I’ll court his favours.
But sure, the bravery of his grief did put me
Into a tow’ring passion.

HORATIO

Peace, who comes here?

Enter young Osric, a courtier,
⌈
taking off his hat
⌉

OSRIC

Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark.

HAMLET I humbly thank you, sir. (
To Horatio
) Dost know this water-fly?

HORATIO No, my good lord.

HAMLET Thy state is the more gracious, for ‘tis a vice to know him. He hath much land, and fertile. Let a beast be lord of beasts, and his crib shall stand at the king’s mess. ’Tis a chuff, but, as I say, spacious in the possession of dirt.

OSRIC Sweet lord, if your friendship were at leisure I should impart a thing to you from his majesty.

HAMLET I will receive it, sir, with all diligence of spirit.

Put your bonnet to his right use; ’tis for the head.

OSRIC I thank your lordship, ’tis very hot.

HAMLET No, believe me, ’tis very cold. The wind is northerly.

OSRIC It is indifferent cold, my lord, indeed.

HAMLET Methinks it is very sultry and hot for my complexion.

OSRIC Exceedingly, my lord. It is very sultry, as ’twere—I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that a has laid a great wager on your head. Sir, this is the matter.

HAMLET I beseech you, remember.

OSRIC Nay, good my lord, for mine ease, in good faith. Sir, you are not ignorant of what excellence Laertes is at his weapon.

HAMLET What’s his weapon?

OSRIC Rapier and dagger.

HAMLET That’s two of his weapons. But well.

OSRIC The King, sir, hath wagered with him six Barbary horses, against the which he imponed, as I take it, six French rapiers and poniards, with their assigns as girdle, hanger, or so. Three of the carriages, in faith, are very dear to fancy, very responsive to the hilts, most delicate carriages, and of very liberal conceit.

HAMLET What call you the carriages?

OSRIC The carriages, sir, are the hangers.

HAMLET The phrase would be more germane to the matter if we could carry cannon by our sides. I would it might be hangers till then. But on: six Barbary horses against six French swords, their assigns, and three liberal-conceited carriages—that’s the French bet against the Danish. Why is this ‘imponed’, as you call it?

OSRIC The King, sir, hath laid, sir, that in a dozen passes between you and him he shall not exceed you three hits. He hath on’t twelve for nine, and it would come to immediate trial if your lordship would vouchsafe the answer.

HAMLET How if I answer no?

OSRIC I mean, my lord, the opposition of your person in trial.

HAMLET Sir, I will walk here in the hall. If it please his majesty, ‘tis the breathing time of day with me. Let the foils be brought; the gentleman willing, an the King hold his purpose, I will win for him an I can. If not, I’ll gain nothing but my shame and the odd hits. OSRIC Shall I re-deliver you e’en so?

HAMLET To this effect, sir; after what flourish your nature will.

OSRIC I commend my duty to your lordship.

HAMLET Yours, yours.

Exit Osric

He does well to commend it himself; there are no tongues else for ’s turn.

HORATIO This lapwing runs away with the shell on his head.

HAMLET A did comply with his dug before a sucked it. Thus has he—and many more of the same bevy that I know the drossy age dotes on—only got the tune of the time and outward habit of encounter, a kind of yeasty collection which carries them through and through the most fanned and winnowed opinions; and do but blow them to their trial, the bubbles are out.

HORATIO You will lose this wager, my lord.

HAMLET I do not think so. Since he went into France, I have been in continual practice. I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how all here about my heart—but it is no matter.

HORATIO Nay, good my lord—

HAMLET It is but foolery, but it is such a kind of gain-giving as would perhaps trouble a woman.

HORATIO If your mind dislike anything, obey it. I will
forestall
their repair hither, and say you are not fit.

HAMLET Not a whit. We defy augury. There’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, ’tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come. The readiness is all. Since no man has aught of what he leaves, what is’t to leave betimes?

Enter King Claudius, Queen Gertrude, Laertes, and
lords, with Osric and other attendants with
⌈
trumpets, drums, cushions
⌉
, foils, and gauntlets; a
table, and flagons of wine on it

KING CLAUDIUS

Come, Hamlet, come, and take this hand from me.

HAMLET (to Laertes)

Give me your pardon, sir. I’ve done you wrong;
But pardon’t as you are a gentleman.
This presence knows,
And you must needs have heard, how I am punished
With sore distraction. What I have done
That might your nature, honour, and exception
Roughly awake, I here proclaim was madness.
Was’t Hamlet wronged Laertes? Never Hamlet.
If Hamlet from himself be ta‘en away,
And when he’s not himself does wrong Laertes,
Then Hamlet does it not, Hamlet denies it.
Who does it then? His madness. If’t be so,
Hamlet is of the faction that is wronged.
His madness is poor Hamlet’s enemy.
Sir, in this audience
Let my disclaiming from a purposed evil
Free me so far in your most generous thoughts
That I have shot mine arrow o’er the house
And hurt my brother.

LAERTES

I am satisfied in nature,
Whose motive in this case should stir me most
To my revenge. But in my terms of honour
I stand aloof, and will no reconcilement
Till by some elder masters of known honour
I have a voice and precedent of peace
To keep my name ungored; but till that time
I do receive your offered love like love,
And will not wrong it.

HAMLET

I do embrace it freely,
And will this brothers’ wager frankly play.—
(
To attendants
) Give us the foils. Come on.

LAERTES (
to attendants
)

Come, one for me.

HAMLET

I’ll be your foil, Laertes. In mine ignorance
Your skill shall, like a star i’th’ darkest night,
Stick fiery off indeed.

LAERTES You mock me, sir.

HAMLET No, by this hand.

KING CLAUDIUS

Give them the foils, young Osric. Cousin Hamlet,
You know the wager?

HAMLET

Very well, my lord.
Your grace hath laid the odds o’th’ weaker side.

KING CLAUDIUS

I do not fear it; I have seen you both.
But since he is bettered, we have therefore odds.

LAERTES (
taking a foil
)

This is too heavy; let me see another.

HAMLET (
taking a foil
)

This likes me well. These foils have all a length?

OSRIC Ay, my good lord.

Hamlet and Laertes prepare to play

KING CLAUDIUS (
to attendants
)

Set me the stoups of wine upon that table.
If Hamlet give the first or second hit,
Or quit in answer of the third exchange,
Let all the battlements their ordnance fire.
The King shall drink to Hamlet’s better breath,
And in the cup an union shall he throw
Richer than that which four successive kings
In Denmark’s crown have worn. Give me the cups,
And let the kettle to the trumpet speak,
The trumpet to the cannoneer without,
The cannons to the heavens, the heaven to earth,
‘Now the King drinks to Hamlet’.