Wild Embrace (14 page)

The planting area
was quite a way down from the SnowDancer den, but Felix had decided to run home today, his wolf needing to stretch. Stripping in the garden shed, he set his clothes aside and shifted. Agony and ecstasy, piercing pleasure spliced with pain, his wolf skin forming out of the millions of particles of light that had once been his human form. Then he was shaking that skin into place, the white-streaked light brown of his fur settling.

His packmates teased him that his fur was as pretty in wolf form as his hair was in his human form. A few of them had even threatened to comb and braid him. He knew the teases, had grown up with them, and he ragged his friends as wickedly in turn. Drew, one of the worst, had cheerfully taken Felix's teasing during the time when the other man had been flamboyantly and—at first—unsuccessfully courting Indigo.

As Felix stepped out into the cool night air, he considered what Drew would've done if Desiree had approached him while he'd been single. Not talked about plants, that was for sure. Felix's wolf growled, and the human part of him winced at the harsh reminder. Just because he wasn't dominant didn't mean he didn't have value.
Every
member of SnowDancer had value. That was why it was such a strong, stable pack.

He couldn't allow his unwilling response to a leopard soldier to mess him up again after he'd spent years putting himself back together after the last time he'd played with a dominant. Sinking deep into the wolf's mind, he let the animal take over and they padded carefully out of the planted area . . . to pick up a trail scented with lemon spice that held a wilder undertone.

Desiree had passed this way during her watch and he was tempted, just for a second, to follow, to discover if she found him as intriguing in this form as she did while he was human. Then he came to his senses and headed homeward, the little bonsai she'd given him safely ensconced in the garden shed for the night. He'd take it home in the truck tomorrow.

Tonight, he ran under a darkening sky still swirled with faint glimmers of vivid orange and red. The colors faded during his run and the stars were starting to appear by the time he neared the den. Slowing to take a seat on the edge of a waterfall, he looked up and watched the stars glitter to life like frozen diamonds, and when the wildness of his nature wanted to sing to those stars, he lifted his head in a howl that was answered from other parts of the territory.

Their ensuing song was pure, primal music.

Home. Family. Friends.

Wolf content and the man in a better place, Felix turned and covered the final distance to the den. He padded to his quarters in wolf form, would've gone in using the special pressure switch built low into the door, but his sixteen-year-old sister was in the corridor and came running over to kneel beside him. “Felix!” Throwing her arms around him, she rubbed her face against his fur as if she hadn't seen him for years.

He returned the affection, Madison a beloved member of their small family pack that existed within the larger SnowDancer pack. At so many years younger than him, Maddy had always been a pup
in Felix's mind, a pup of whom he was deeply protective. But even as she drew back, her bright eyes the same color as his, and started to tell him all about a new project, he saw the strength in her, felt the dominance of her.

His slender baby sister was growing into a soldier, but he knew without question that she'd never attempt to use her dominance against him. That would break the bonds of trust and of family. Those bonds had taken a lifetime to form . . . and such trust wasn't a gift easily handed to a stranger.

“I
hate
history homework.” Maddy rolled her eyes, then leaned close to whisper, “Can I hide out in your quarters so Dad doesn't make me do it?”

Felix gently nipped the tip of her nose in answer, their familial hierarchy set in stone. She'd be his baby sister always. And he was her big brother. Making a face at him, she rubbed her nose, her lower lip quivering. He growled, used to her tricks.

She stuck out her tongue at him. “Okay, okay. I'm going home to read about history so ancient it should be in cobwebs.” Another wildly affectionate hug before she rose to her feet. “If I go missing, it's probably because I turned into a skeleton myself. I'll tell Mom and Dad you said hi and that you turfed me out without a thought to my wounded heart.”

Wolf huffing in laughter at her dramatics, he watched her make her way down the corridor, a graceful brunette girl in a short skirt, well-worn boots, and a slouchy sweater, a girl who hadn't yet reached her full adult height—that pink denim skirt hadn't been so short on her when she'd asked for it for her birthday. The same genes that had given him his six feet, three inches of height would, he was betting, take Maddy to at least five foot nine.

Smiling at the thought of how annoyed she'd be at once
again
growing out of her favorite clothes, he pressed his paw against the
pressure switch to open his door. Once inside, he nudged the door closed and shifted back into his human form in a fracture of light and painful ecstasy. He stretched as he walked to the bathroom, more than ready for a shower.

As he washed off the sweat and grit from his body, he started thinking about scents. He wondered what he smelled like to a cat—probably of dirt and plants. Not sexy, but he was who he was . . . and Desiree seemed to see him, at least. The bonsai had been a thoughtful gift. Not only had she gone to the trouble of finding out that he loved—

“Stop it,” he told himself in the mirror after he'd dried off. “You are
not
getting into anything with her.” Dark-eyed Carisma had been a smart, sexy dominant, too, had courted him with gifts and affection.

The gauche eighteen-year-old he'd been had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.

“Fool me once,” he muttered under his breath and, scowling, dressed in fresh jeans and a white T-shirt before heading to one of the common rooms to grab dinner.

“Felix! Felix!”

A deep smile creasing his face, he grabbed the little boy running toward him. Ben didn't hesitate to hitch a companionable arm around Felix's shoulders as Felix settled him on his hip and continued to walk. “You smell like soap,” the boy announced. “Did your mom make you take a bath?” It was a commiserating question.

Felix's shoulders shook. “I was dirty from planting trees,” he said through the wolf's laughter.

“I got dirty from falling in a mud pool two days ago!” Ben announced gleefully, his silky dark brown hair shining under the den lights that had segued automatically from simulated sunlight to a softer glow that told those within that night had fallen.

“Yeah?” he said in response to Ben's story. “I bet you had to have a bath.”

“No! Hawke threw me in the pond to clean me off!” Ben's excitement was infectious. “That was much better than a bath.”

Felix kissed the top of Ben's head, his wolf already conscious the boy would grow up to be strong, fiercely so. It was easy to know with some of the little ones, even before they knew it themselves. Right now, however, Ben was still a very small boy, and like all the children in the den, he trusted Felix without question. Submissives had that effect on the most vulnerable members of their pack, the reason why they were tasked with evacuating the pups should it ever become necessary.

“Do your mom and dad know you're out here playing?” he asked, aware Ben had a curious streak a mile wide.

“Uh-huh. Mama's with Lara over there.” He waved in the direction of the common room where Felix was headed. “She made cake! And I got to eat the first piece. It was really big and it even spoiled my dinner, but Mama said it was okay this one time.”

Having reached the doorway, Felix saw that the cake was in the process of being demolished by those in the room. “Hey,” he said when Drew went for a second slice, having wolfed down one while Felix watched.

The other male looked at him with narrowed blue eyes, the brighter light in this room picking up fine glints of copper in the thick brown of his hair. “I'll fight you for it.” He held out a fisted hand for a game of rock, paper, scissors.

Snorting, Lara swept away the last slice and handed it to Felix, the soft black of her corkscrew curls bouncing around her fine-boned face, her eyes a clear tawny brown and her skin a natural dark tan. “Eat it before he decides to pounce.”

“Please.” Drew tugged at one of her curls, the golden skin of his arm marked by thin scratches that meant he'd probably been playing rough-and-tumble games with the pups. “I have manners.”

“Of a leopard,” another soldier said with a sly grin, the crumbs on his T-shirt telling Felix he'd successfully navigated the cake free-for-all.

“Leopards are nice!” Ben said loyally, having two very good—and equally mischievous—friends in DarkRiver.

Sighing, Drew shook his head. “So young and already corrupted.”

“I'm going to mention you said that to Mercy,” Felix threatened and took a seat at the table with Ben in his lap.

“Mercy doesn't count. She's an honorary wolf.” Drew sprawled in the chair across from him, smiling his thanks when Ben's mom, Ava, brought them some coffee, having gone across to top up her own and Lara's cups.

“Spence have baby duty?” Felix asked the maternal female, whose dark eyes and hair were identical to that of her son.

Ava's smile held love, affection, and pride in equal measures. “He's showing her off to a couple of his photographer friends who're visiting from the other side of the territory.”

“Mercy's not a wolf!” Ben said suddenly, his frown deep and his small face scrunched up in thought. “She's a leopard. I saw her. She's all golden with spots.”

Felix suddenly wondered what Desiree looked like in her leopard form. She was so sleek and dangerously sensual in her human form that she'd no doubt be gorgeous as a cat. “Here,” he whispered to Ben, sneaking him a bite of cake.

Giggling, the little boy totally gave himself away to his mom, but Ava just smiled and reached over to pluck him into her lap. “What are you doing, my little cake fiend?” A snuggle, a kiss, Ben's laughter filling the air.

Felix grinned, his wolf watching through his eyes. This was what he wanted. A mate, cubs to protect and love, a woman who'd see value in him, not simply a body she wanted to fuck. Losing his taste
for cake at that harsh reminder, he nudged the remainder of the slice over to Drew. The other man gave him a frowning look but didn't say anything. Not then.

It was twenty minutes later, the two of them now alone in the common room, that Drew leaned forward. “What's up?”

Felix chewed the bite of lasagna he'd taken. It was divine, deserved his full concentration. Pity then that his taste buds had gone into rebellion and everything suddenly tasted like dust. “I'm an idiot.”

“About anything in particular?”

It was hard to remember that Drew was a dominant at times like this—not only a dominant, but the pack's tracker, tasked with hunting down and executing rogue SnowDancers. It was one of the most dangerous positions in the pack.

“Women,” Felix muttered, hoping that'd be the end of it.

Drew's smile was smug. “Ah.”

“Oh, shut up.” The other male was so happily mated that Felix wanted to throw something at him at times.

Grinning, his eyes wolf, Drew jerked up his head. “Desiree, huh?”

Felix's mouth fell open. “How did you . . . ?”

“Oh, please, Felix. It's a pack; we're nosy.”

Obviously, one of the SnowDancer soldiers on security patrol had seen Desiree approach him last night. “She's a dominant.”

“So?”

Yeah, Drew would say that. He'd gone hell-for-leather for a lieutenant older and more dominant than him. There was one critical difference, however. Drew wasn't, and never would be, a submissive. When Indigo snarled at him, he snarled back. In the same situation, Felix's wolf instincts would urge him to bare his neck, submit to the lethal predator in the room.

His hand tightened on the fork and he took another big bite to shut himself up before he said something stupid. Drew didn't take the
hint. “Look,” he said, “if you're worried she's with someone, she's not. Far as I know, Dezi hasn't been dating anyone for the past few months.”

Dezi.

For some reason, it irritated Felix that Drew knew her nickname when he hadn't. “I'm not looking for a short-term lover, Drew,” he said bluntly. “I'm ready for more.” He'd been ready most of his adult life, his drive toward building a home and a family a powerful one.

Eyes meeting his for a long minute, longer than Felix's wolf was usually comfortable with when it came to a dominant, the other male nodded. “I get that. Dezi won't push where she isn't wanted—you tell her no?”

Felix ducked his head, ate another bite of lasagna . . . then admitted his muck-up. “I accepted her friendship.”

Drew groaned, leaning his elbows on the table to drop his head into his hands. “Damn it, Felix, you know better. She's interested in you—and you
know
how she'll take that.”

Yes, he knew. Dominants didn't really understand subtle when they were sexually interested in someone. Blunt was always the best response. “I'll tell her tomorrow. I just . . . didn't want to hurt her feelings.” His hand fisted under the table at the lie; the cold, hard truth was that he'd wanted to talk to her again, wanted to hear that husky voice rasp over his skin as she asked him questions about his work that seemed to hold a genuine interest.

He reminded himself that Carisma, too, had asked him questions like that at the start. Humoring him, he'd realized afterward. He'd poured out his dreams into her hands, and all she'd given him in return was a pat on the cheek and a kiss good-bye before she'd gone on to mate with a fellow soldier. Yeah, no way in hell was he ever going through that again.