Wicked Flower (26 page)

“You refer to things most would
be ashamed of.
Like getting knocked up by someone who doesn’t
even love me.”

“Some people would be ashamed of
that. But—”

Dani cut him off, unbelieving.

“If I wanted to be judged, I’d go
to confession, Stefan.”

 
“What about the last week, the truck stop, my
mom … makes you think you can say that to me and have
me
take you seriously? You should consider letting me finish what I’m saying
sometimes,” he finally let out.

Cracks surfaced in their mutual
promise.

Every time she thought he’d close
his eyes to blink or shut down, he didn’t. With solid, eyes wide open, he
seemed to want to challenge her. “Go to sleep.” He maintained his stare.

Dani let out a breath and patted
her part of the quilt over her stomach again.

“Sorry,” he said. “I’m just tired.
I’d never judge you.
Thought you would know that by now.”

“It’s been a long day for us
both. And I do know that. I’m tired too,” she said and shimmied down into the
cushion of the soft ground.

“A second ago, something
happened. What was it? A kick?” he asked.

Dani hesitated but this was the
man she wanted to be sharing these moments with. It shattered her heart into a
million pieces to allow
herself
to think that thought.
“A tumble.
It was more like a tumble,” she said low.

“May I?” Stefan moved his hand
toward her hip.

“Why?”

“You must really think I’m some
sort of leper.”

She hated that she’d made him
feel that way.

No, they both knew she didn’t
think that of him. Neither of them should remind the other of how they knew.
That didn’t stop the images. The gold, ember-like flecks she’d seen as he
kissed her barreled in first. The peak of his tongue before she’d felt it in
her mouth.
This tender version of him asking to touch her
stomach.

The baby rolled again. She
gasped. Stefan’s hand hovered over hers.

She took it and pressed it down
over her skin.

“That’s something special, Dani.”
He took his hand away then did like she had before and looked up at the sky.
She felt like she had missed something and wondered if somewhere deep inside,
Stefan might be thinking about the baby he’d made and lost so sadly.

“Anything you need to get off
your chest?” she asked.

He looked at her and a half grin
gave him that naughty air she’d missed the last few days.

She wanted him to share something
serious.
If for nothing else than to even them up.

“No, I prefer taking things off
your chest, sweetheart.” He was terrible. “Your Thom is a lucky man. You’re
going to make an excellent mom for his baby.” And despicably tender again.
She’d never win with Stefan.

“Thanks.” There were too many
details and the simple answer told him everything he needed to know of her
gratitude.

“Goodnight.”

Should she ask out loud the
question that popped into her mind just then? For all she knew, he’d been the
guy in a situation like hers. How could he not with all those lovers over the
years?

“Stefan, aside from your Amanda,
would I be naïve to think you’ve never had another woman tell you she was
pregnant?”

He blinked.

Her eyes grew wide.

He just nodded.

“Tell me please.”

She felt his fingers roll over
the top of her hand and then he gave it a gentle squeeze.

“What’s your real question,
sweetheart?
Hmm?”
He yawned and she felt one coming on
too.

In as unjudging a voice as she
could manage, she asked him. “As an adult man, has anyone ever told you that
you got them pregnant, Stefan?”

He rolled onto his side so that
he faced her but Dani stayed on her back, taking deep breaths of the nighttime
air but trying to keep it unnoticeable. It was so stupid, but she wished her
baby was his. He’d never believe her but she thought he’d make a very good
daddy.

****

Looking at Dani now, he couldn’t
lie to her. He had to tell the truth. It was all they had for the next few days
until he left.

“Sure, there have been a few.”

“Oh.”

“But it’s not possible. I try not
to be a dick about it. I offer to be tested, just as a formality.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I haven’t slept with a woman
without protection since I was sixteen. Not one single time.”

Dani’s face nearly went white.
She probably didn’t believe him, but it was true. He’d learned his lesson and
it had cost him too much.

“But condoms don’t stop all
pregnancies.”

“That’s a wives’ tale, Dani. They
work just fine when you’re not trying to get pregnant. Otherwise…”

“Otherwise you’d have kids
running all over the place?”

Shit. Yes, but he should have put
that out there with some tact.

“I am genuinely sorry if that
offends you. I’ve been very active sexually for a long time. You should know
that. But I always used protection.”

“And your more recent activity?”
she asked. He’d give her credit for hanging in there with him, dead tired as
they both were. Not to mention he didn’t know a female on the planet who wanted
to hear her man had until very recently slept with hundreds of women. Fuck. Her
man, he thought.
Huge ass slip for him to make.
Stefan
drew in a deep breath to douse the pain that slip had just caused him and
prayed he didn’t get slapped.

“Not as active,” he said.

She looked like her brain was
playing a mean game of table tennis and he knew he’d have to elaborate.

“It’s been a month since I was
with someone.” He felt the need to clarify that it had been just sex. Nothing
close to all this confusing ass shit Dani was doing to his insides. But what
she said next did him in for good where she was concerned.

“I guess that’s not so bad. Hell,
I slept with someone four months ago and I got myself knocked up. Sometimes sex
is just sex.
Until a baby comes along.”

Oh, his heart was so screwed.
Hell yeah he wanted to be her man. But he’d already sworn allegiance to the
devil that he wouldn’t put her in a bind. He knew her well enough that seeing
Thom face to face was important. No way could she up and relocate to Nashville
with him now.

Leaving her in a few days was
going to suck.

Right now that he had Dani where he
wanted her, he was calling it a night. She was stuck with him for the next few
comatose hours.

“This doesn’t mean what you think
it means,” he whispered across the foot of space separating them. And then that
distance melted away as he rested his thigh over the tops of her legs, careful
he hadn’t landed it near her belly. He pulled the blanket up so it covered them
both and took her hand in his. “If it did, you’d know it. Now, I
will
be good. Let’s get some sleep.”
Crickets sounded nearby. He gave Dani the rocking chair pillow and let the
grass be his.

****

They had to both be out of their
minds balancing this line with absolutely no respect for how razor thin it was.
Before she had time to wriggle out from his heavy thigh, he cleared his throat,
low and subtly so she’d barely heard it. And then he began to hum, singing a
word now and then.

His singing voice was the most gorgeous
sound she’d ever heard. Dani closed her eyes tight to try and memorize it,
taking the sound into her heart and holding it there.

The baby pushed. He must like it
too.

Stefan moved his hand ever so
lower and he rubbed at the kicking spot. His humming took on the distinct form
of a lullaby.

Dani’s heart lodged in her
throat.

He was being terribly cruel and
wonderful again.

She’d been prepared to wipe away
his tears, listen to his fears about his mom, but he’d held the pain of it in,
leaving her with nothing to do but lay in
want
, under
his heavy thigh. Her dark Superman had returned and she knew that if there were
any way possible, she’d give in to him. Dani started to feel like he’d never
ask, but after today, seeing his true heart, she’d follow him to hell and back.
But, he hadn’t asked and she was still too gun-shy to invite herself for fear
of being told no thanks.

Chapter Nineteen

Stefan woke up in the middle of
the night with Dani snuggled close to his chest. Petting her arm and back gave
him a calm he couldn’t remember ever waking up with.

“I want to make love to you,
Dani,” he whispered near her ear. They still had a couple hours until they had
to be awake. He wouldn’t make things worse for her by getting feelings
involved, but he’d share his body with her. They both deserved that much at
this point.

She stirred and her eyes opened.
Shit.

“I thought you were asleep.” He
kissed the top of her hair.

She turned her head until she
faced him. They kissed the most natural, lovers’ kiss. His heart pounded so
loud he could hear it in his ears. Her lips were so soft. She moved her neck
like it was stiff from how he’d had her tucked into him all night.
 

“Here, let me help you with
that.”

Stefan rubbed her neck and she
wrapped her right arm around his back and began to massage him there and down
his side, letting her hand rest on his hip before holding him in a hug again.
He swallowed deeply. Fuck, why hadn’t he come to her while she was out of her
mind asleep before? God, he hoped she knew what she was doing. That this
easiness between them wasn’t just sleep induced on her part.

“Is that better?” he asked,
finishing the neck rub, wanting like never before with anyone, to be tender
with her.

“Yes, thank you.” She snuggled
into him and the softer her body felt against his, the harder his shot to life.
“I want to make love with you too.” She let her lips rest against his for a few
seconds. “But, I can’t. We can’t. I’m sorry, Stefan.”

What she’d just said.

It forced him to take a breath.

She’d gotten so far under his
skin, hearing things like this built him up and tore him down like he was made
of nothing because she was just too much.

“Aside from the other issues,
will you be honest with me? Are you worried I’d hurt the baby?” He felt his
brow crinkle with his question, fearing she’d say yes.

“Being completely honest? After
all that’s happened, the other issues don’t seem as important. But that one, I
don’t think you’d hurt us on purpose, but yes,” she said, shifting like she’d
become uncomfortable. He didn’t want to let her twist away from him but she’d
hurt him with that.

“I promise I would be gentle,
with both of you. I am capable of that.” He hadn’t been soft with a lover since
he was sixteen, but with Dani, he would be again. He knew he would treat her
with the utmost sensitivity, just like he’d done with Amanda all those years
ago. Tenderness had become a foreign concept to him but there was no doubt,
he’d do it for her.

“I know you would, Stefan.”

She softened the blow.

They kissed and petted each other
some more. His body stayed on constant alert. The second he sensed she’d let
him, he would give it all to her. He didn’t want to waste this miracle of them
simply lying in bed, no games being played.
Just the two of
them, connecting.
Her not pulling away and saying they couldn’t. He
couldn’t leave her and not have at least this experience with her.

Steadily he petted her hands, her
arms and back and her face and hair. He would show her he could be gentle. She
might have just said otherwise, but he also believed she still felt very
strongly about the other issues they’d had and he didn’t want that stuff getting
in the way of what they could share tonight.

“I want you to know that my
personal feelings for you have nothing to do with the professional and greatly
appreciated service you provide for my mom. Those two things are completely
separate for me, Dani. I promise I would never let one affect the other.
No matter what.
You know staying away from you because of
that has been killing me.”

He realized just then that he’d
admitted out loud he had feelings for Dani. She seemed at a loss for words to
respond and so he just held her and rubbed her back some more, waiting.

“Stefan, I don’t think I ever
explained this properly to you. The other day when I told you I couldn’t have
an orgasm wasn’t because I doubted your ability. It’s because I’d had one
recently…” His look must have changed because she amended her words, slowly. “I
mean that I gave myself one a few weeks ago, and I didn’t just feel the usual
parts
spasming
. I felt my womb squeeze. It scared me
then and it scared me again when it happened with you the other night. That’s
why I thought maybe I’d done something to my baby.”