Why We Left Islam (16 page)

There is no way out for them. Since my father does not know how to use an ATM, when any of my sisters wants to withdraw money from an ATM, she must hand over her card to a stranger (a man) to withdraw money for her. When my sisters want to do regular shopping, they must hand over the money to a stranger and he will charge whatever price he wishes. These are just a few examples of the plights Saudi women go through in their daily lives.

Sometimes I do think to leave my job, just to stay with them.

So, you might say: Why not take them out of Saudi Arabia? This is utterly impossible. In Saudi Arabia, to secure a passport, a woman must have the written permission from her
mahram
(father, brother, or husband). Obtaining a passport is not enough for a Saudi woman to travel alone. Her father (in case she is unmarried) must sign special papers to permit her to go on a voyage on her own. Being illiterate, my father will never allow his daughters to leave Saudi Arabia; I am absolutely certain of this.

Sometimes, I really wonder why such an unbearable torment has been imposed on our women. My sisters cannot do anything without the permission and assistance of my father or brother. They are at home, all the time, watching television. There is no sport for them to play, no work to attend to, no hope, and nothing to live for. They are incarcerated in the biggest prison in the world—Saudi Arabia, the land of pure, unadulterated Islam.

One might legitimately ask: Why do all these things happen to Saudi women? Who is to be blamed for this loathsome ordeal
perpetrated on our women? It is quite easy to blame the silly, inane Saudi laws, the widespread illiteracy prevalent among the Saudi people, and the archaic traditions for the hopeless condition of our women. But think again. All these factors are firmly rooted in Islam. It is Islam which is clearly the culprit. It is the Islamic laws in Saudi Arabia which have rendered our women chattels of men, forced them into their servitude, and have completely robbed their dignity, honor, and respect they deserve as women. To say the least, Islam has shaken and shamed the very basic foundation of womanhood.

Islam provides complete authority to a father to control his daughters. He has full control to give them in marriage, to ban them from social life, or even to kill them. You might be shocked to learn that a Saudi father can kill his daughter with complete impunity. Please know that even when he kills his daughter, the government will not kill the father because she is his probity. According to
Sharia
, the government is not allowed to kill a father if he kills his daughter or son for any reason.

In Islam, a daughter cannot marry without her father’s permission—it is
haram
. In a nutshell, in Islam, a father is a holy man, a commander, and a petulant dictator. Even when he is illiterate, obdurate, unjust, and insensible, his children, especially the daughters, can do nothing against him.

So, in my case, what can I do?

The straightforward answer to this question would be: nothing. I can do virtually next to nothing to change the situation. If I file a case against my father, the religious judge will ask him, “Why don’t you let your daughters get married?” My father’s vague answer will be, “These girls are my responsibility (that is, under my safe custody), and Allah will punish me if I don’t choose good husbands for them.” As a proof of his sincere effort he might even produce evidence that all the men he had sought were smokers and also will bring witnesses that they were also non-praying (in mosque) Muslims. This will completely persuade the Islamic judge. He will find no ground to chastise my father; instead, he might impose punishment on me for not respecting my father and his decisions.

With such anguish and frustration in my heart, I am patiently waiting for the death of my father. Once he dies, the control of my sisters will automatically transfer to me. Their ownership will officially be in my hands.

I shall be their new possessor—just like cars, houses, goats, camels,
etc.
Then I shall be completely free to do with them whatever I wish—Islam gives me all the authority. I could take them to hell or to heaven—wherever I desire.

Readers, please do not feel sorry or pity for my sisters. Compared to many other Saudi women, they are quite lucky—they can visit shopping centers once or twice a year. They can use makeup and they can even listen to music. The best freedom they have is that they can choose television channels they like to watch. For many Saudi women, this is a great privilege, if you did not know.

C
HAPTER
T
WELVE
MY AWAKENING

“Islam was created by a Prophet who was indeed vile and a pedophile. . . If Allah is most gracious, most merciful, he wouldn’t have chosen such an ill minded Prophet.”

L
IKE SO MANY OTHERS, Andrea converted to Islam, and while not everyone who converts has the same experience, Andrea truly believes that many do. She shares her story to warn anyone contemplating conversion of the horrors that she personally endured and she certainly feels an obligation to do so. For it seems that to fall in love with a strict Muslim means having to fully embrace every aspect of Islam, too!

They say that love is blind. In this case, Andrea’s love for her husband blinded her to the harsh realities of his Islamic beliefs. Can a Westerner happily marry a Muslim? Andrea thought so. Then her dream marriage turned into a nightmare.

Andrea’s Testimony

My story is like the stories of thousands of other converts. I grew up somewhat rebellious, spiritually anyway, and I hated going to church each Sunday. I was the type of person who loved learning about other people, other cultures, and other religions. When I started studying Islam, I was utterly fascinated. The books that were created for those interested in the religion showed the perfection of the religion. “To kill one man is the same as killing all of humanity.” I really loved that one. (Now that I think about it, I can see the stupidity of this statement.)

I got deeply involved in studying; the sites I studied from had been delicately created by those knowing exactly what a convert hopes to find. A convert is looking for a religion that does not
dispute science generally, a religion that is peaceful, and a religion based on the idea of one God. The creators of these sites know this, and they foster influence on those on a spiritual search and with a naive mind. I was indeed one on a spiritual search; I wanted to feel connected to something larger than myself, and I wanted to be surrounded by moral people, with strong convictions against immoral things. Islam was all of this for me. I became very involved in the religion, and whenever I happened to stumble upon “radical,” or as I refer to them today “Islamically correct,” sites, I simply said, “Those are the ones with messed up views, every religion has them, and they’re ashamed of them.” I found many Muslims on chat rooms, and we all united in the cause that Israel stole Palestine’s land, the West was corrupt and evil, and Jews were behind all evil acts. Funny, how easily you can get convinced with eloquent words!

Then, one day I met Mohammad (no, not the pedophile who started the whole cult). This was Mohammad from Morocco, and he had come to the U.S. and was living very close to me. We discussed Islam a lot, and we were both pretty liberal; we listened to music, agreed that a woman shouldn’t be forced to wear
hijab
, that if a woman wants a job it’s fine, and that polygamy is outdated. I really liked that about him, so we talked every night, on voice chat, and used the webcam (major sin in Islam by the way, to talk with non-Muslims, especially while viewing the face).

We were only friends, and he actually had a fiancée back in Morocco, but he talked to me about how all she wanted to do was lay around on the beach in her bikini; we both agreed she had been corrupted by Western values, and women shouldn’t show their bodies off for men to see. So eventually he broke things off with her. Yes, we decided that we were a perfect couple to get married. So he made a visit to me, and we affirmed that belief even more. I was moving to another state soon, and he also decided that he would move to be with me, and once he got himself financially secure, we would get married. Here is what was so perfect to me: He had always wanted to go back to his country and live there after finishing his education, but now, because he knew me, he was willing to give up everything that he had
planned to do. How romantic, right? How could anyone ever say that Muslim guys are controlling over women?

Things continued to get better with Mo, as I called him; we began to plan our whole future. I would work in the political field, while he worked in the computer field. We would live in Connecticut (suburbs of course). I was so in love. Then one night, I said something off the topic of our future plans. I said, “I just can’t get over these men who want more than one wife; I mean that’s just really stupid, and demeaning towards women.”

I was not just speaking of Muslims but Mormons and other primitive people who agreed with this idea. Suddenly his face changed from its usual happiness into a scornful look. He said: “How could you argue with Allah’s words?” I said, “Well, in the days of Mohammad, culture was different and so he didn’t see anything wrong with having more than one wife, and wars left a lot of women as widows, and they needed caregivers.” I was rehashing the prefabricated Islamic response to this question, mindlessly. He asked me if I thought Islam was outdated. I replied, “Well, even you agree that cutting off people’s heads is barbaric, and that women working can be a necessity in this society.” He said, “Yes, but I do not argue that it is Allah’s will. You say Allah is wrong by saying polygamy is wrong. . . . and those who don’t fully believe in all of Allah’s words are
kafirs
, and
kafirs
go to hell.” Wow, what a change! I immediately said my good night, and that I didn’t want to talk to someone irrational like that. The next day I received a kind email, filled with regrets. That worked! Naively, I accepted his apologies and we continued on as before. I must add, I worried a lot about how I was going to finance certain aspects in my very expensive education.

I really don’t know where the turning point came, but I started to become a little suspicious of some Islamic ideas as I researched more. Not befriending
kafirs
,
MURDERING
, lying,
WOMEN’S STATUS
. Wow, what had I missed here? So I talked to Mo about it, and apparently, this was his boiling point. Here is the email I received from him. My words are in bold in the following paragraph.

What the hell is your problem? I am willing to give up everything for you, my country, my life, my pride. . . and whenever I ask you to make one sacrifice, you get scared of it, scared of Allah’s will
(Note—The sacrifice he is mentioning is my disapproval of being a housewife)
. How can you dispute what Allah has laid out so clearly? You care only about money. . . Care? No that’s not the word... You are obsessed with money just as badly as the Jews. Your dreams are not of how to worship your God, and submit to his will, but how you can make more money, and get power. When I dream, I dream of coming home to you, after a hard day of work, and I see you cooking for me, a clean house, and after that, we have our time in bed. When you dream, you dream of how you get more money, how you can get your husband to buy you what you want. That is the mind of a sick woman.
(I’m the sick one?)
Listen here, Allah says the man is more powerful than the woman, and his job is to watch over her, yet you reject all of it. Here are my demands and you will follow them not because I demand them, but because Allah demands them. And Allah demands submission to the husband.

You will wear
hijab
at all times.

You will not befriend Muslim girls without
hijab
, and you will absolutely not befriend
kafirs
.

When a male friend or colleague of mine enters the house, you will go to a separate room, and stay there until he leaves, unless you serve him food or drink.

You will not work, even if I am not able to financially support you, you will be around
kafirs
at work, and they will look at you lustfully and tempt you to do wrong. Women are weak, you are weak, and you will probably end up harrased by a
kafir
.

If you leave, even with friends, tell me where you are at all times, and whatever you buy you must show me once you return home.

I am allowed to beat you softly, but only under extreme circumstances, such as denying.

My Response:

Dear Mo,

I feel so stupid in my ignorance, in my
naiveté
, to not see the truth. You have laid out everything so perfectly for me. I guess seeing that I am a woman it is somewhat difficult to
come to terms with what Islam expects from me. Islam wants me to be a housewife, Islam wants me to submit to all of your requests, Islam wants me to be completely veiled, except my face and hands. How did I miss this? I really want to thank you for bringing the truth to me, for in your email you have clearly laid out what had previously been hidden to me.

You showed me that Islam believes that women are merely sex objects and property, Islam was created by a Prophet who was indeed vile and a pedophile, Islam allows you to beat me. It allows you to be a polygamist. What does it allow me? It allows me to stay in the house, because I am nothing but an object of sin. If Allah is most gracious, most merciful, he wouldn’t have chosen such an ill minded Prophet. If Allah is who we worship, and whose aid we seek, count me out! I don’t seek the aid of a vengeful God, who thinks beheading people is okay, who thinks beating women is okay, who thinks pedophilia is okay in this life, and homosexual pedophilia is okay in the next.