Why We Left Islam (15 page)

I became a Muslim in November of 1991 and soon things began to fall apart in my life. I was so convinced that I had found the proper path that I became belligerent to my co-workers and was soon fired. I began to look for another job and was told by the
imam
that I had to return to my parents’ home since Islam forbids single women from living alone. I moved home in January of 1992. Understandably, my parents did not like the idea of
me wearing the traditional Muslim garb and they tried to forbid me from wearing it every chance they got. This only made me more adamant about wearing it. Soon my family and former friends were all reluctant to be around me and I spent more and more time exclusively with Muslims.

In February of 1992, I was introduced to my future husband. I was simply led into a room and told that he was the man that I was supposed to marry, Muhammad. I had no choice in the matter. We married in May. I soon entered hell. I was not to leave the apartment without his permission and was not to turn the air conditioner on under any circumstances. This was during one hundred-degree weather in the summer. I sweltered my way through the rest of the summer with heat rash and an eventual case of heat exhaustion. Muhammad forced me to relinquish control of my car to my parents in September, so I was truly stuck at home. What I did not understand about my new husband was that he would spend inordinate amounts of time away from home and never ask me to go with him. I soon learned (painfully) that Islam forbids listening to music. That was the first time that he hit me.

After our first year of marriage, he was preparing to return to Morocco (without me) to visit his family. Shortly before he left, we had been on a day trip to Dallas where he had not allowed me to have any food except a small bag of chips. As we did not have anything in the house to eat, I called one of his friends who knew that Muhammad often left me without anything to eat.

I waited for him to bring me just a small sandwich for dinner when Muhammad came home unexpectedly. He had heard of the call and was furious. He told me to get my stuff together and leave the next day. He began to beat me and scream at me, rupturing one of my eardrums. I ran to a friend’s house to gain help. Muhammad tearfully apologized and we stayed together.

After he returned from Morocco, I was able to get a job and was able to pay some of my bills and have enough to eat (he let me have my car back). However, I began to understand that this was no marriage. We were simply roommates and one was terrorizing the other.

I began to question some of the things about Islam: the hypocrisy and infighting as well as the treatment of women. I was abruptly informed that I was not to question and all that I had to do was to read and I would understand. I began to look longingly at women who did not have to wear the heavy, oppressive clothing and endure the rude looks from others. I was accused of causing a miscarriage with the evil eye since I was trying desperately to become pregnant. I would cry and ask God why he would not let me achieve the supreme Muslim woman’s duty of bearing children. I became more and more depressed and even prayed for God to take me out of this world. Little did I know that he would answer my prayer in a way that I had not dreamed of.

At the end of the third year of our marriage, Muhammad decided that he needed to go to Morocco again. He told me that he did not care where I went or what I did; he was going home. Well, I got my own apartment and when I did not hear from him in a month, I filed for divorce. My faith was destroyed and my health and finances were also destroyed. After many tears, I wandered back into a church. It has taken many months, but I finally feel at home.

C
HAPTER
E
LEVEN
THE LIE: A TRUE STORY OF SAUDI WOMEN

“It is the Islamic laws in Saudi Arabia which have rendered our women chattels of men, forced them into their servitude, and have completely robbed their dignity, honor, and respect they deserve as women. To say the least, Islam has shaken and shamed the very basic foundation of womanhood.”

O
NE OF THE MOST disconcerting aspects of Islam is its treatment of women. Nowhere is this more rampant than in Islamic countries. In order to understand Walid’s story it is important to comprehend what life is like for women in Saudi Arabia. Indeed, while the lashings of women as punishment has sparked international outrage, it is still very difficult for many to fully comprehend what further suppression women endure in the Kingdom. In fact, nowhere is this more evident than by the Kingdom’s laws and views towards women. For it is sadly true that even driving a car is forbidden for women in Saudi Arabia; although in January 2008, a new rule enabling women to stay alone in a hotel room was brought into effect. However, by and large women have no rights whatsoever and to best understand this it is important to understand the Kingdom itself. Why do so many Western nations remain allied with Saudi Arabia and why is the Saudi king entertained in Buckingham Palace and at Camp David?

Women have few if any rights in Saudi Arabia. At McDonald’s, women order from one side of a divided counter and disappear with their value meals into the walled-off “family section.” Men order on the other side of the counter and sit in plain view of everyone.

Indeed, because Saudi Arabia is a conservative Islamic country with no movie theaters, bars, or discos, Saudis tend to spend a lot of time hanging out at the mall. Yet for all their Western-style glitz, it seems that Riyadh’s malls also reflect Saudi culture, which mandates that women be covered—even on CDs—and that the sexes remain largely segregated.

Even trying on clothes is difficult for Saudi women who have to put down a deposit and take garments to the women’s rest rooms. Yet, while reforms to change segregation are underway, Saudi Arabia still remains one of the most conservative, some say repressive, societies in the world.

Why should this be of concern to us in the West? Aside from the issue of the violation of human rights, the way current trends are moving, soon this may be happening not far away! In truth, as Muslim populations grow within Western countries, so too will the cry for Islamic laws to be instated.

Life is far from easy for Saudi women, who for the most part remain the property of men and have to abide by strict Saudi rules. Women are frequently confined to their homes or the homes of their female friends. Often, the only connection these women have to the outside world is via the Internet. For unless they are with a relative or spouse, women in Saudi Arabia cannot visit a man’s home and certainly cannot be seen with him in public. In essence, women in Saudi Arabia are segregated to second-class citizenship. When they marry they may have to do so to someone who has been chosen for them. If they don’t marry, they can be frowned upon. It is in light of these injustices that continue in Saudi Arabia that Whalid offers testimony about the struggles challenging his own sisters within the Kingdom.

Next, you will read Whalid’s chilling account of how Islam can turn a father against his own daughters. Islam allows this—even encourages it. And that’s all the more reason why we must stand firm against the oppressive Islamic way of life imposing itself on Western culture.

Whalid’s Testimony

Many people have said that Islam respects women and values them. But, from my own experience, I have found this to be just a fat lie. As a native of Saudi Arabia, I have personally witnessed how despicably women are treated in our Islamic society. In this testimony I shall narrate my experience of such oppressive and horrific treatment of our women,
a la
Islam. Every word that I am going to write is absolutely true—nothing has been fabricated or exaggerated. No one coerced me to write this story, because I am born a Saudi and I live right here in Saudi Arabia.

I have three sisters. They were highly motivated to be educated, and by their own effort, pursued modern education. But because of many absurd, outdated, and unfair impediments imposed on women’s education in our society, they could not finish their chosen fields of learning. Despite my sincere intention, I could simply do nothing to help them get proper education. My hands were tied; our society frowns upon women who are highly educated in a modern way.

One of my sisters finished secondary school, and then she stopped studying because she was keen on beauty training. But in a pure Islamic society like ours, it is not that easy for her to pursue her ambition to be a beauty therapist.

My other two sisters wanted to be schoolteachers. So they continued with their studies and finished their Higher Secondary Level.

I clearly remember that when they were in the college, their identification cards were in their own names, but the photographs on the cards were that of my father! This meant my sisters had no physical existence—they existed in name only—on a piece of paper. Readers, please do not be shocked at such an appalling treatment of our women—they are just like domestic animals—always owned by someone. They could not subsist on their own as human beings. The law in Saudi Arabia, vis-à-vis women, stipulates that no girl/woman in a college could insert her own photograph in her identity card; instead, only the photograph of her father, brother, husband, or her
mahram
(guardian) must be attached.

Anyway, after finishing their teachers’ training, these two sisters of mine had to wait for jobs which must be in the vicinity of their dwelling. They cannot go away from my father’s control. If they dared to do so, they would never get jobs.

As a conscientious brother, I firmly believe that my sisters are wise and responsible—more than many men in my area, even more than me. I am certain that given the chance to live and manage their lives by themselves, they would succeed without any problems. In fact, they are capable of accomplishing far more difficult tasks than many of us could.

But alas! These three educated, wise, responsible, and ambitious girls are held prisoners at home by their illiterate father. He does not know anything about the world outside of home. He sees no need at all for any progress or development of civilization. And he has forced my sisters to live his periphery of life.

This illiterate father banned them (my sisters) from getting married. It was because of his strict demand for non-smoking, strictly Islamic bridegrooms from the same tribe which he belongs to. It looks like such dim-witted demands might keep my sisters spinsters for the foreseeable future.

In our society of strict Islamic adherence, all men who are smokers and/or do not pray regularly in mosques are considered unfit for marriage. As a binding rule, a man who is considering getting married must produce at least two witnesses who would vouch that the prospective bridegroom regularly prays in a mosque. This condition is so important in Saudi society that failure to produce such witnesses might result in the breakup of the proposed marriage. More importantly, a Saudi woman from one tribe must not marry a man from another tribe or from another nationality, even though the man is a Muslim. Forget about a Saudi woman marrying a non-Muslim—this is
haram
.

In our tribe the girls outnumber the boys two or three times. This means that many of our girls will never get married, as marrying outside of our tribe is absolutely unthinkable. In our society men prefer to marry girls less than twenty years old. They have a special penchant for girls who are around sixteen years or less. The conclusion from this absurd desire for very young girls is
that the marriage prospect of girls more than twenty years old is almost zero. Or, they might get married, but to older men.

Thus, because of these ridiculous Islamic rules, the lives of these grown-up girls mean nothing in our puritanical society.

Let us now return to my father’s mentality and find the real reason why he does not want his daughters to be married to strangers (I mean, men from another tribe or another nationality).

Saudi men strongly believe that women have no hopes, desires, and aspirations of their own. Thus, when it comes to marriage, a Saudi woman’s opinion is irrelevant. She is totally dependent on her owner about her fate. Saudi men also consider it shameful to give someone’s daughter to be married to a stranger—outside one’s own tribal boundary. It is difficult for a Saudi man to accept that outsiders could look at the sacred “honor” of their daughters. It is inconceivable for a Saudi father to envisage that a stranger could have sex with his daughter—even in marriage, and even when the bridegroom is a Muslim. So, this is the real reason why my father would not allow my sisters to marry “foreigners.” He is simply paranoid that “foreigners” would have sexual intercourse with his daughters.

For the reasons stated above, many Saudi fathers ask for double marriages—that is: give me your daughter and I will give you my daughter or sister. . . and so on. In this way, they feel comfortable: We will protect his honor if he protects ours. This is how people in our society use women for their own benefit—when they need money, or when they need new wives. There are some Saudi women who earn wages, but the money they get goes to the pockets of their fathers or husbands. For fear that their daughters’ salaries might be appropriated by their husbands, many Saudi fathers do not want their daughters married. To me, this might be another reason why my father has literally put a ban on the marriage of my sisters.

So how do my sisters live in this society?

As Saudi women, my sisters go through extraordinary suffering. They have no right whatsoever to manage their lives by themselves. They are totally dependent on my father, on me, and on their other brothers. They cannot go anywhere alone. Whenever
any one of them ventures outside, some man (brother or father) must accompany her as her protector and minder. They cannot even go out for such events like an accident, hospital emergency,
etc.
Believe me, when they need to go to a hospital, they have to call my brother to take them there. He has to come from another city, three hundred kilometers away. Because they cannot drive (women in Saudi Arabia are banned from driving cars and are not allowed to go with non-
mahram
) and my father cannot drive, my sisters have no choice but to undergo such unspeakable ordeals of agony. No matter how urgent their case, they must wait for their
mahram
(in this case, their brother) to take them to the hospital.