Who Do I Run To? (19 page)

“I can’t believe my ears
. You know what? Fine! You want time, I’ll give you time.” He was so angry he waved for the server and told him to put their dinner in to-go containers. When he brought their food out, K.P. paid and got up from the table. He was so furious and angry with Janiece he decided not to say another word because he might have said something that would have made matters worse. The valet brought his truck around, and they rode out to Janiece’s condo.

He didn’t say one word to her the entire ride home
, and she was afraid to say anything to him. When they pulled on her block, she saw Isaiah’s car parked in her guest stall, and K.P. saw it too. He pulled up to the steps and looked over his shoulder at the Chrysler 300. He had to ask her again since she didn’t answer before.

“Jai
, did you sleep with him?” he asked, and she didn’t answer him. They sat there for a moment, and he repeated, “Did you?” and she nodded her head up and down, giving him a yes. He turned away from her and hit the steering wheel.

She sat there for a moment scared to open the door. She didn’t know what to say. She saw his eyes water a little
, and she wanted to disappear.

“I’m sorry I took so long to come through for you. Call me when you
’ve figured your shit out,” he said, and she knew that was her cue to get the hell out.

“I’m sorry
, K.P.,” she said, and he didn’t even look at her.

“Yeah, I guess we both are.”

She opened the door and climbed down from the seat. She looked at him once more before shutting the door, but he didn’t look her way. She shut the door and walked up the steps. He sat there for a moment until she got in. His eyes were burning with tears as he drove off.

“Damn, Jai
, why did you do that?” he said out loud and drove down 95th Street. He had never been hurt by a woman before, and he hated Janiece at that moment for sleeping with Isaiah. He was so devastated, he said to hell with her too.

He was getting his divorce and his two kids and rolling out to Las Vegas. There was no reason for him to stay. He made it to Marcus
’s loft and took the ring out of his pocket. He put it into one of his bags. He didn’t want to cry, but he couldn’t hold back.

Soon, h
e walked over to the window and thought about how much he loved the city of Chicago, but for his woman he was willing to leave to make her happy. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a set of keys. He hated that Marcus was coming in. He wanted to be alone, but it was Marcus’s loft, and he had no right to demand to be alone in someone else’s place.

“Hey
, dude, what’s up?” Marcus asked when he noticed K.P. was there.

“Hey
, man, what’s going on?” he replied dryly.

“I told
Tracy that you were over and I had to come home and check you out ’cause you going through the divorce and all.”

“Aw
, man, you could have stayed with your woman. I’m good.”

“Naw
, dude, she wearing me out. Shit, I’ll be able to get some good sleep tonight.” They laughed, and Marcus went to pour them both a drink. “So, man, what’s the deal?”

“You know
, same ole same ole. Kimberly’s crazy ass gon’ make me choke the shit outta her, and Janiece fucking another man,” he said and took the drink out of Marcus’s hand.

Chapter Twenty
-One

Janiece walked into her condo feeling worse than she had ever felt. She didn’t know what she had done, but she wished she hadn’t. K.P. was the only man she had ever been in love with, and she never wanted to hurt him. He did love her, but since she was into moving on and making all of her so-called life changes, she really hadn’t stopped to think if she was really ready to give him up.

She walked over to the cordless and dialed his cell number so she could ask him to come back so they could talk, but he didn
’t pick up. She hung up, feeling like a fool because she wished she would have just lied and not told him the truth about sleeping with Isaiah. She loved him too long to just let him slip through her fingers. She knew she was going to have to show him how sorry she was for messing around with another man. She was going to have to tell Isaiah that she could no longer see him.

S
he heard someone knocking and she put the phone down and made a mad dash to the door, I knew he’d come back, she thought to herself as she snatched the door open. To her unpleasant surprise, it was Isaiah, and the disappointed look on her face told him she wasn’t too happy to see him.

“Hey
, did I come at a bad time?”

“No
… no … not at all. Come on in.” She stepped out of the doorway to allow him space to come inside. He was dressed casually nice and looking good. He leaned over and gave her a kiss and that made her feel uncomfortable. He sensed that something was definitely not right.

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine,” she said and closed the door. She walked past him and went into the living room. He followed her with a baffled look on his face. He knew that things weren’t right, and he knew it was because of the married dude.

“So what
’s going on, Janiece?”

“
Nothing and why didn’t you call first?”

“I
’m sorry. I heard you come up the stairs, and I just wanted to say hi,” he said, not thinking anything was wrong with him just stopping over.

“What if I weren
’t alone?” she snapped.

“Hey
, Janiece, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that. I apologize, and it will never happen again.”

“Thank you
!” she said giving him more attitude.

“What
’s bothering you, babe?” he asked moving closer to her.

“
Nothing just had a long day. I’m sorry for snapping on you like that,” she said, trying to avoid eye contact.

“It
’s more than that. You seemed stressed. Did something happen today?”

“No
, Isaiah, I said I was fine,” she spat and walked away. She went into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine to try to calm her nerves. She took a look out of the kitchen window to see if K.P. had come back. She tried not to cry because she didn’t want to have to deal with Isaiah just yet. She just wanted to be alone so she could think.

“Look
, Janiece, it’s obvious something is bothering you. Let’s just talk about it. Maybe I can help you feel better,” he said, coming up and hugging her from behind. He knew it had something to do with K.P. because he saw him drop Janiece off. He was happy when he saw him leave instead of coming up. He thought she may have finally given him the boot, so he rushed over to see if that was the case, and he was disappointed to see that it wasn’t.

“Isaiah, I
’m sorry, but I would like to be alone for a while.”

“Listen to me, Janiece—don’t let him get you upset like this.
You know you don’t want to be his other woman. It’s time for you to move on and do what makes you happy and what makes you feel good.” He turned her to face him and began to kiss her. She allowed his soft lips and wet tongue to pleasure her mouth until she snapped back and realized what she was doing. One of the reasons she was hurting K.P. was standing right in front of her looking, smelling, and tasting so good.

“Isaiah
, please, I know you think I should just tell him it’s over, but it’s not that simple. I don’t know what to do right now. I don’t like being confused. I want to not love him and not allow him to keep me hanging on, but it is so hard for me to do that right now.”

“Janiece, don
’t do this to yourself. Let me help you forget about him. I want to help you forget about all the things he’s put you through, baby. Come on, now, don’t let him just show up and set you back.”

“You can
’t help me just get over him, Isaiah. I know you want to, but it’s not that simple. Things are so complicated, and I don’t want to lead you on or hurt you. So, please, Isaiah just let me figure some things out on my own.”

“So you want me to back off?”

“No, Isaiah, I’m not saying that. I just need some space to sort things out in my head.”

“You know I
’m leaving soon to go back to Texas, so I don’t have a lot of time, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my time here without you, Janiece.” He was so genuine and so sweet. Janiece knew that he really did care for her and that was the main reason she had to pull away from him, because she didn’t want to drag him into her world of disarray and misery.

“Isaiah
, I do know that your time here is limited, but I don’t wanna hurt you. I’m not completely done with K.P.. You are too good of a person, and you deserve better than what I can give you right now.”

“Sounds to me like your mind is already made up.” He stepped back and looked at her with disappointment written all over his face. She didn
’t know if her mind was made up, but she did know she didn’t want to hurt Isaiah. He was one of the good guys and treated her like silk. He possessed all the qualities she wanted in a man, but her heart was stuck on Kerry Paxton. She couldn’t shake him off. Part of her wanted to allow Isaiah the opportunity to be in her life and just let the time needed for her to get over K.P. go by, and one part of her wanted to stay and give K.P. the opportunity to make things right.

“Look
, Isaiah, you can’t possibly understand what I’m going through right now. My heart says stay and continue to love him, but my mind is telling me to choose what’s right in front of me. I’m just not sure, Isaiah, and I’m sorry. I want to look you in the eyes and tell you that I’m done with him and from now on, it’s me and you, but if I do, I would not only be lying to you, but I’d being lying to myself.”

“Listen
, Janiece, I understand more than you know, and I’m not mad, just a little disappointed, but not mad. I want you to do what makes you happy. I may not be what you need, and I’m willing to deal with that if that’s your decision, but I’m not going to just walk out the door without you knowing how much I want you and how bad I want to be with you. You see,” he said moving close to her, “I recognize how special you are and you need a man that’s going to always put you first.” He kissed her again, and before she knew it, he raised her onto the counter.

He was standing between her legs with his erection pressed against her
pleasure point, and she could feel it through her pants. His kisses were so good, she couldn’t resist him. His hands found their way to the buttons on her blouse, and he began to unbutton them one by one. She leaned back a little and let him kiss her down her neck and lick the center of her chest. He raised her bra and began to suck on her erect nipples, and she rubbed the back of his head.

He was so sexy
, and he knew how to wake up all the senses in her body. She moaned as she enjoyed the suction of his mouth over her nipples. Her body responded to the warm breath from his mouth, causing her spot to clench. The throbbing began to activate her juices, and she starting getting wet.

“Oh
, Isaiah, why are you doing this to me?” she asked as he made circles around her right nipple with his seducing tongue.

“Do you want me to stop
?” he whispered, and she didn’t respond. Saying no would only make her feel bad about what she was doing to K.P. and saying yes would make the good feeling stop. He made his way back to her lips and gently grabbed her hair. He sucked on her chin hungrily and licked her down her neck making his way back to her tits. Her head was tilted back slightly, and her eyes were open looking at him.

Why
is he so fine? Why does he have to feel so good? Why do I want him inside of me? Were all the questions that ran across her mind. She was in bad shape, and she didn’t have a clue on how she was going to be able to resist Isaiah’s sweet charm and thoughtful ways.

“What do you wanna do?” he asked when he saw that she was watching him suck on her hard nipples.

“What do you wanna do?” she asked him back, still not wanting to be the one to organize her crime of passion.

“I wanna take you in there,” he said pointing toward her bedroom door
, “and make you feel good.”

“Okay,” she said before she could say no. He helped her down off of the counter and they went into her bedroom
, undressed, and did what made them feel good. Janiece was feeling guilty again, but she tried to put it out of her mind.

They lay together in her bed afterward and her back was facing him so he caressed her skin gently as she fought the tears. She wasn
’t cheating on K.P., but she knew she couldn’t continue to mess around with Isaiah if she wanted to work things out with K.P..

Her phone rang
, which made her jump. She reached for it on the nightstand and looked at the ID. It was K.P.. Her heart started beating fast, and she thought she was busted. Was he outside, on his way or what? She sat up in the bed and held the phone until it stopped ringing. Her hands were starting to tremble, and she was shaking like a leaf.

She grabbed her robe and went into the kitchen to look out of the window for
K.P.’s truck. Finally, she was able to relax a little when she didn’t see it.

“Isaiah
, you have to go,” she said when she walked back into her bedroom. He sat up and looked at her and didn’t say anything; he just grabbed his boxers. He dressed in silence, and she followed him to the kitchen and watched him unlock the door.

“You know how to find me when you
’re ready,” he said and walked out without another word. He was angry and felt that Janiece was shortchanging herself to want to continue to be involved with a married man.

Little did he know how bad she wanted things to be different
from what they were. Truth was, he didn’t know K.P. for the good things; he only heard the bad things. He didn’t know what lengths K.P. would go to make Janiece happy. Hell, Janiece didn’t know either. He was just being a typical-minded person when it came to a woman that he wanted that may have wanted someone else, even if K.P. were a single man; he wanted Janiece and would have had ill feelings for K.P. anyway.

Janiece went back into her room and picked up the condom wrapper from the nightstand and flushed it down the toilet. When she got into the shower
, she shampooed her hair and noticed she had started her period. No wonder she didn’t put up much of a fight, because her hormones would not have allowed her to say no even if she wanted to. She got out of the shower, put on her robe, and blow dried her hair.

When she finished drying her hair, she went into the kitchen to pour another glass of wine. She glanced out the window and could have sworn she saw
K.P.’s truck rolling down the street. She closed the curtain and figured her mind was playing tricks on her because if he had come by, he would have used his key because she hadn’t changed the locks yet. She wrapped her hair and settled on the sofa to watch a little TV.

When s
he finished her wine, she got up to take her glass into the kitchen. She put it into the dishwasher and put the food that was on the stove from Nick’s in the fridge. She had forgotten about her grilled salmon and vegetables. She didn’t touch it at the restaurant because K.P. ordered the waiter to put their food into to-go containers and when she got home, she was too frustrated to eat.

Then Mr. Isaiah took her mind completely off food, so she didn
’t bother eating. She went to her bed and decided to try to call K.P. again, but when she called, it went straight to the voice mail. She didn’t leave him a message, because after sleeping with Isaiah again, she didn’t know what to say to him. She turned in and prayed for guidance and strength. She was madly in love with K.P., but too weak to resist Isaiah.

That was a situation she didn
’t want to venture in any longer. Isaiah going back to Texas was something she wanted to come quickly, because as long as he was around, her situation probably would only get worse.