Who Are You Meant to Be? (36 page)

Tips for Completing This Step:

This activity needs to be performed by the left rational quadrant of your brain (Leader, Intellectual). Depending on your Predominant Style, you will find this exercise easy or you will experience different challenges in your attempts to complete this section.

Here are some tips based on your Predominant Style:

Leader or Intellectual:
You may have a tendency to believe that if you think it is so, then it is so. Think about how frequently you actually do what you claim, not just your idea or concept of you. Take some time to reflect and find examples that illustrate what you think about yourself, and include any experiences that may or may not support your view. For example, you might find that you aren’t using your self-actualizing behaviors as much as you think you do when you actually stop and reflect on it.

Performer or Visionary:
You will have a tendency to see yourself in terms of your potential, rather than as you are. Reflect on your experiences and what you actually do, and then record the facts in order to see yourself as you are. Envisioning it can feel as though it is real and that you are already experiencing the things you see. If you don’t see your self-protective behaviors as clearly as your potential, ask someone to help you out. Don’t forget to make sure you take the time to write down your answers without skipping over the exercises.

Socializer or Artist:
Know that you may resist defining yourself because you tend to value yourself as either “good” or “bad.” You will tend to describe your current reality based on how you are feeling. This means that if you are feeling terrific, you may record all of your self-actualizing behaviors without identifying any self-protective ones. If you are feeling low or discouraged, you may record that you are self-protective in all areas of your life. In either case, you may be unrealistic about the picture you paint, so it’s important to make sure you remind yourself to be objective.

Adventurer or Stabilizer:
You may not see the point to this activity at first, so if you need to, look ahead through all the exercises and see that the steps are in place and lead to a particular outcome. To get started, refer to the chapter on your Predominant Style and the examples of self-protective and self-actualizing behaviors. Take each behavior and see if you can find examples from your experience that match what is being asked for.

My Predominant Style: ____________________;
I Need to Be _____________________________

I get my predominant need met by the following behaviors, circumstances, and/or other means:

[Note all the ways in which your predominant need can get met and consider all aspects of your life. What is happening? What activities are you pursuing? What behaviors are you demonstrating? What actions are you taking? What circumstances are in place? What are your experiences in your relationships, your career, or your other pursuits?]

On the basis of my Predominant Style, when I am living in my Self-Actualizing System, it looks like this:

[Note all the behaviors you demonstrate, the activities you engage in, and/or the circumstances that are present in your life if you are living from your SA System.]

On the basis of my Predominant Style, when I am living in my Self-Protective System, it looks like this:

[Note all the behaviors you demonstrate, the activities you engage in, and/or the circumstances that are present in your life when you are living in your SP System.]

Currently, I am using the following talents and abilities of my Predominant Striving Style and I am demonstrating the following self-actualizing behaviors of my Predominant Striving Style:

Currently, I am NOT using the following talents and abilities of my Predominant Striving Style and I am NOT demonstrating the following self-actualizing behaviors of my Predominant Striving Style: