White Teeth (42 page)

It was going well enough until Samad spotted the ring of folded arms and green bow ties.

“What are
they
doing here? Who let in the infidels?”

“Well,
you're
here, aren't you?” sniped Alsana, looking at the three empty cans of Guinness Samad had already got through, the hotdog juice dribbling down his chin. “Who's casting the first stone at a barbecue?”

Samad glared and lurched away with Archie to admire their shared handiwork on the reconstructed shed. Clara took the opportunity to pull Alsana aside and ask her a question.

Alsana stamped a foot in her own coriander. “No! No way at all. What should I thank her for? If he did well, it was because of his own brains.
Iqbal
brains. Not once, not
once
has that long-toothed Chaffinch even condescended to telephone me. Wild horses will have to drag my dead body, lady.”

“But . . . I just think it would be a nice idea to go and thank her for all the time she's spent with the children . . . I think maybe we misjudged her—”

“By all means, go, Lady Jones, go if you like,” said Alsana scornfully. “But as for me, wild horses, wild horses could not do it.”

“And that's Dr. Solomon Chalfen, Marcus's grandfather. He was one of the few men who would listen to Freud when everybody in Vienna thought they had a sexual deviant on their hands. An incredible face he has, don't you think? There's so much wisdom in it. The first time Marcus showed me that picture, I knew I wanted to marry him. I thought: if my Marcus looks like that at eighty I'll be a very lucky girl!”

Clara smiled and admired the daguerreotype. She had so far admired eight along the mantelpiece, with Irie trailing sullenly behind her, and there were at least as many left to go.

“It's a grand old family, and if you don't find it too presumptuous, Clara—is ‘Clara' all right?”

“Clara's fine, Mrs. Chalfen.”

Irie waited for Joyce to ask Clara to call her Joyce.

“Well, as I was saying, it's a grand old family and if you don't find it too presumptuous I like to think of Irie as a kind of addition to it, in a way. She's just
such
a remarkable girl. We've
so
enjoyed having her around.”

“She's enjoyed being around, I think. And she really owes you a lot. We all do.”

“Oh no, no, no. I believe in the Responsibility of Intellectuals . . . besides which, it's been a
joy.
Really. I hope we'll still see her, even though the exams are over. There's still A-levels, if nothing else!”

“Oh, I'm sure she'd come anyway. She talks about you all the time. The Chalfens this, the Chalfens that . . .”

Joyce clasped Clara's hands in her own. “Oh, Clara, I
am
pleased. And I'm pleased we've finally met as well. Oh now, I hadn't finished. Where were we—oh yes, well here are Charles and Anna—great-uncles and aunts—long buried, sadly. He was a psychiatrist—yes,
another
one—and she was a plant biologist—woman after my own heart.”

Joyce stood back for a minute, like an art critic in a gallery, and put her hands on her hips. “I mean, after a while, you've got to suspect it's in the genes, haven't you? All these brains. I mean, nurture just won't explain it. I mean, will it?”

“Er, no,” agreed Clara. “I guess not.”

“Now, out of interest—I mean, I really am curious—which side do you think Irie gets it from, the Jamaican or the English?”

Clara looked up and down the line of dead white men in starched collars, some monocled, some uniformed, some sitting in the bosom of their family, each member manacled into position so the camera could do its slow business. They all reminded her a little of someone. Of her own grandfather, the dashing Captain Charlie Durham, in his one extant photograph: pinched and pale, looking defiantly at the camera, not so much having his picture taken as forcing his image upon the plate. What they used to call a Muscular Christian. The Bowden family called him Whitey. Djam fool bwoy taut he owned everyting he touched.

“My side,” said Clara tentatively. “I guess the English in my side. My grandfather was an Englishman, quite la-di-da, I've been told. His child, my mother, was born during the Kingston earthquake, 1907. I used to think maybe the rumble knocked the Bowden brain cells into place 'cos we been doing pretty well since then!”

Joyce saw that Clara was expecting a laugh and quickly supplied one.

“But seriously, it was probably Captain Charlie Durham. He taught my grandmother all she knew. A good English education. Lord knows, I can't think who else it could be.”

“Well, how fascinating! It's what I say to Marcus—it
is
the genes, whatever he says. He says I'm a simplifier, but he's just too theoretical. I'm proven right
all the time
!”

As the front door closed behind her, Clara bit her own lip once more, this time in frustration and anger. Why had she said Captain Charlie Durham? That was a downright lie. False as her own white teeth. Clara was smarter than Captain Charlie Durham. Hortense was smarter than Captain Charlie Durham. Probably even Grandma Ambrosia was smarter than Captain Charlie Durham. Captain Charlie Durham wasn't smart. He had thought he was, but he wasn't. He sacrificed a thousand people because he wanted to save one woman he never really knew. Captain Charlie Durham was a no-good djam fool bwoy.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The Root Canals of Hortense Bowden

A little English education can be a dangerous thing. Alsana's favorite example of this was the old tale of Lord Ellenborough, who, upon taking the Sind province from India, sent a telegram of only one word to Delhi:
peccavi,
a conjugated Latin verb, meaning
I have sinned.
“The English are the only people,” she would say with distaste, “who want to teach you and steal from you at the same time.” Alsana's mistrust of the Chalfens was no more or less than that.

Clara agreed, but for reasons that were closer to home: a family memory; an unforgotten trace of bad blood in the Bowdens. Her own mother, when inside
her
mother (for if this story is to be told, we will have to put them all back inside each other like Russian dolls, Irie back in Clara, Clara back in Hortense, Hortense back in Ambrosia), was silent witness to what happens when all of a sudden an Englishman decides you need an education. For it had not been enough for Captain Charlie Durham—recently posted to Jamaica—to impregnate his landlady's adolescent daughter one drunken evening in the Bowden larder, May 1906. He was not satisfied with simply taking her maidenhood. He had to
teach
her something as well.

“Me? He wan' teach
me
?” Ambrosia Bowden had placed her hand over the tiny bump that was Hortense and tried to look as innocent as possible. “Why he wan' teach me?”

“Tree times a week,” replied her mother. “An' don' arks me why. But Lord knows, you could do wid some improvin'. Be tankful for gen'russ-ity. Dere is not required whys and wherefores when a hansum, upright English gentleman like Mr. Durham wan' be gen'russ.”

Even Ambrosia Bowden, a capricious, long-legged, maga village-child who had not seen a schoolroom in all of her fourteen years, knew this advice was mistaken. When an Englishman wants to be generous, the
first
thing you ask is why, because there is always a reason.

“You still here, pickney? 'Im wan' see you. Don' let me spit pon de floor and make you get up dere before it dry!”

So Ambrosia Bowden, with Hortense inside her, had dashed up to the captain's room and returned there three times a week thereafter for instruction. Letters, numbers, the Bible, English history, trigonometry—and when that was finished, when Ambrosia's mother was safely out of the house, anatomy, which was a longer lesson, given on top of the student as she lay on her back, giggling. Captain Durham told her not to worry about the baby, he would do no damage to it. Captain Durham told her that their secret child would be the cleverest Negro boy in Jamaica.

As the months flicked by, Ambrosia learned a lot of wonderful things from the handsome captain. He taught her how to read the trials of Job and study the warnings of Revelation, to swing a cricket bat, to sing “Jerusalem.” How to add up a column of numbers. How to decline a Latin noun. How to kiss a man's ear until he wept like a child. But mostly he taught her that she was no longer a maidservant, that her education had elevated her, that in her heart she was a lady, though her daily chores remained unchanged.
In here, in here,
he liked to say, pointing to somewhere beneath her breastbone, the exact spot, in fact, where she routinely rested her broom.
A maid no more, Ambrosia, a maid no more,
he liked to say, enjoying the pun.

And then one afternoon, when Hortense was five months unborn, Ambrosia sprinted up the stairs in a very loose, disingenuous gingham dress, rapped on the door with one hand, and hid a bunch of English marigolds behind her back with the other. She wanted to surprise her lover with flowers she knew would remind him of home. She banged and banged and called and called. But he was gone.

“Don' arks me why,” said Ambrosia's mother, eyeing her daughter's stomach with suspicion. “'Im jus' get up and go, on de sudden. But 'im leave a message dat he wan' you to be looked after still. He wan' you to go over to de estate quick time and present yourself to Mr. Glenard, a good Christian gentleman. Lord knows, you could do wid some improvin'. You still here, pickney? Don' let me spit pon de floor and . . .”

But Ambrosia was out the door before the words hit the ground.

It seemed Durham had gone to control the situation in a printing company in Kingston, where a young man called Garvey was staging a printers' strike for higher wages. And then he intended to be away for three further months to train His Majesty's Trinidadian Soldiers, show them what's what. The English are experts at relinquishing one responsibility and taking up another. But they also like to think of themselves as men of good conscience, so in the interim Durham entrusted the continued education of Ambrosia Bowden to his good friend Sir Edmund Flecker Glenard, who was, like Durham, of the opinion that the natives required instruction, Christian faith, and moral guidance. Glenard was charmed to have her—who wouldn't be?—a pretty, obedient girl, willing and able round the house. But two weeks into her stay, and the pregnancy became obvious. People began to talk. It simply wouldn't do.

“Don' arks
me
why,” said Ambrosia's mother, grabbing Glenard's letter of regret from her weeping daughter, “maybe you kyan be improved! Maybe 'im don' wan' sin around de house. You back here now! Dere's nuttin' to be done now!” But in the letter, so it turned out, there was a consolatory suggestion. “It say here 'im wan' you to go and see a Christian lady call Mrs. Brenton. 'Im say you kyan stay wid her.”

Now, Durham had left instructions that Ambrosia be introduced to the English Anglican Church, and Glenard had suggested the Jamaican Methodist Church, but Mrs. Brenton, a fiery Scottish spinster who specialized in lost souls, had her own ideas. “We are going to
the Truth,
” she said decisively when Sunday came, because she did not care for the word “church.” “You and I and the wee innocent,” she said, tapping Ambrosia's belly just inches from Hortense's head, “are going to hear the words of Jehovah.”

(For it was Mrs. Brenton who introduced the Bowdens to the Witnesses, the Russellites, the
Watchtower,
the Bible Tract Society—in those days they went under many names. Mrs. Brenton had met Charles Taze Russell himself in Pittsburgh as the last century turned, and was struck by the knowledge of the man, his dedication, his mighty beard. It was his influence that made her a convert from Protestantism, and, like any convert, Mrs. Brenton took great pleasure in the conversion of others. She found two easy, willing subjects in Ambrosia and the child in her belly, for they had nothing to convert
from.
)

The Truth entered the Bowdens that winter of 1906 and flowed through the bloodstream directly from Ambrosia to Hortense. It was Hortense's belief that at the moment her mother recognized Jehovah, Hortense herself became conscious, though still inside the womb. In later years she would swear on any Bible you put in front of her that even in her mother's stomach each word of Mr. Russell's
Millennial Dawn,
as it was read to Ambrosia night after night, passed as if by osmosis into Hortense's soul. Only this would explain why it felt like a “remembrance” to read the six volumes years later in adult life; why she could cover pages with her hand and quote them from memory, though she had never read them before. It is for this reason that any root canal of Hortense must go right to the very beginning, because she was there; she remembers; the events of January 14, 1907, the day of the terrible Jamaican earthquake, are not hidden from her, but bright and clear as a bell.

“Early will I seek thee . . . My soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is . . .”

So sang Ambrosia as her pregnancy reached full term, and she bounced with her huge bulge down King Street, praying for the return of Christ or the return of Charlie Durham—the two men who could save her—so alike in her mind she had the habit of mixing them up. She was halfway through the third verse, or so Hortense told it, when that rambunctious old rumpot Sir Edmund Flecker Glenard, flushed from one snifter too many at the Jamaica Club, stepped into their path.
Captain Durham's maid!
Hortense recalled him saying, by way of a greeting, and receiving nothing from Ambrosia but a glare,
Fine day for it, eh?
Ambrosia had tried to sidestep him, but he moved his bulk in front of her once more.

So are you a good girl these days, my dear? Gossip informs me Mrs. Brenton has introduced you to her church. Very interesting, these Witness people. But are they prepared, I wonder, for this new mulatto member of their flock?

Hortense remembered well the feel of that fat hand landing hot against her mother; she remembered kicking out at it with all her might.

Oh, it's all right, child. The captain told me your little secret. But naturally secrets have a price, Ambrosia. Just as yams and pimento and my tobacco cost something. Now, have you seen the old Spanish church, Santa Antonia? Have you been inside? It's just here. It's quite a marvel inside, from the aesthetic rather than religious point of view. It will only take a moment, my dear. One should never pass up the opportunity of a little education, after all.

Every moment happens twice: inside and outside, and they are two different histories. Outside of Ambrosia there was much white stone, no people, an altar peeling gold, little light, smoking candles, Spanish names engraved in the floor, and a large marble madonna, her head bowed, standing high upon a plinth. All was preternaturally calm as Glenard began to touch her. But inside, there was a galloping heartbeat, the crush of a million muscles that wanted desperately to repel Glenard's attempts at an education, the clammy fingers that even now were at her breast, slipping between thin cotton and squeezing nipples already heavy with milk, milk never intended for such a rough mouth. Inside she was already running down King Street. But outside Ambrosia was frozen. Rooted to the spot, as feminine a stone as any madonna.

And then the world began to shake. Inside Ambrosia, waters broke. Outside Ambrosia, the floor cracked. The far wall crumbled, the stained-glass exploded, and the madonna fell from a great height like a swooning angel. Ambrosia stumbled from the scene, making it only as far as the confessionals before the ground split once more—a mighty crack!—and she fell down, in sight of Glenard himself, who lay crushed underneath his angel, his teeth scattered on the floor, trousers round his ankles. And the ground continued to vibrate. A second crack came. And a third. The pillars fell, half the roof disappeared. Any other afternoon in Jamaica, the screams of Ambrosia, the screams that followed each contraction of her womb as Hortense pushed out, would have caught somebody's attention, brought somebody to her aid. But the world was ending that afternoon in Kingston. Everybody was screaming.

If this were a fairy tale, it would now be time for Captain Durham to play hero. He does not seem to lack the necessary credentials. It is not that he isn't handsome, or tall, or strong, or that he doesn't want to help her, or that he doesn't love her (oh, he
loves
her; just as the English loved India and Africa and Ireland; it is the love that is the problem, people treat their lovers badly)—all those things are true. But maybe it is just the scenery that is wrong. Maybe nothing that happens upon stolen ground can expect a happy ending.

For when Durham returns, the day after the initial tremors, he finds an island destroyed, two thousand already dead, fire in the hills, parts of Kingston fallen into the sea, starvation, terror, whole streets swallowed up by the earth—and none of this horrifies him as much as the realization that he might never see her again. Now he understands what love means. He stands in the parade ground, lonely and distraught, surrounded by a thousand black faces he does not recognize; the only other white figure is the statue of Victoria, five aftershocks having turned her round by degrees until she appears to have her back to the people. This is not far from the truth. It is the Americans, not the British, who have the resources to pledge serious aid, three warships full of provisions presently snaking down the coast from Cuba. It is an American publicity coup that the British government does not relish, and like his fellow Englishmen Durham cannot help but feel a certain wounded pride. He still thinks of the land as his, his to help or his to hurt, even now when it has proved itself to have a mind all of its own. He still retains enough of his English education to feel slighted when he spots two American soldiers who have docked without permission (all landings must go through Durham or his superiors) standing outside their consulate building, insolently chewing their tobacco. It is a strange feeling, this powerlessness; to discover there is another country more equipped to save this little island than the English. It is a strange feeling, looking out on to an ocean of ebony skins, unable to find the one he loves, the one he thinks he owns. For Durham has orders to stand here and call out the names of the handful of servants, butlers and maids, the chosen few the English will be taking with them to Cuba until the fires die down. If he knew her last name, God knows he would call it out. But in all that teaching, he never learned it. He never asked.

Yet it was not for this oversight that Captain Durham, the great educator, was remembered as a
fool bwoy
in the annals of the Bowden clan. He found out soon enough where she was; he found little cousin Marlene among the throng, and sent her off with a note to the church hall where she had seen Ambrosia last, singing with the Witnesses, offering thanks for the Judgment Day. While Marlene ran as fast as her ashen legs would carry her, Durham walked calmly, thinking the last act was done, to King's House, the residence of Sir James Swettenham, governor of Jamaica. There he asked him to make an exception for Ambrosia ———, an “educated Negress” he wished to marry. She was not like the others. She must have a place with him on the next outgoing ship.