White Girl Problems (14 page)

Aiden gave me a sweet smile. “I am an idiot. I thought you were innocent, and I didn’t want to take advantage.”

I scowled. “Of what?”

“You.”

I rolled my eyes. “How can you take advantage when I’m freely offering?”

His face froze. I winced. “I don’t mean it like that. I’m not offering. Not anymore, anyway.” I groaned and turned to walk down the hall, slamming my locker shut.

He grabbed my arm. “I am an idiot. Give me a chance to make it up to you.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “I’m seriously not offering you anything, so if that’s why you’re wanting a second chance, it’s not happening.”

He lowered his face and brushed his lips against my cheek. “I’m not asking for anything but a chance to finish the movie.”

I smiled and leaned into the kiss. “Okay.” I nodded. “I have to go though.” He smiled. “We have Lit together right now. I made sure I have all the same classes as you.”

I sighed. “How did you do it? Maybe you are a stalker. Do you have a cage somewhere with my name on it?”

He nodded. “I do. It’s a hole in the ground. Cozy, though.”

I linked my arm in his and walked to Lit. When I got there, I caught my first glimpse of her face. My stomach rumbled with the savage anger inside of me. Her blue eyes were pleading with mine to not make a scene. I watched as they drifted from my face to his. Her eyebrows lifted and her cheeks flushed.

I looked up at him. He was looking at me. It made my cheeks flush too. I took a seat next to Jess and Aiden sat next to me. People were whispering and staring at us—all four of us. I tried not to notice, but it was intense. Our teacher entered the room and instantly started in on Hamlet.

Aiden sat perfectly still, listening attentively. The teacher kept looking at him when she spoke. I spaced out, but I could feel the burning Linna’s eyes on the back of my head. I turned around to see her nodding her head for the hall. It was code for let’s leave this lame-ass class. I got up and grabbed the hall pass for the bathroom. My heart was pounding and my chest was tightening. The whole Linna thing was driving me insane, so if she wanted to talk, I was for sure into it. I leaned against a locker as she came out a moment later. Her eyes were already welling. She shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Fin.”

I couldn’t feel sorry for her and her tears. I was devastated and that was my moment to finally be free of it. “How could you do that to me?”

Her glossy lip quivered. “I was an idiot. I thought the only way to get Aaron to notice me was to make it so you were gone. Sheila knew I liked him. She knew he liked you. She told me you would spend the summer abroad, in Europe. She said your dad would ship you off to travel with Cheryl all summer.”

That actually made sense, but I was still mad. “But he didn’t. He sent me to Canada. It could have been worse. Sheila was trying to get me put in rehab, like a crackhead.” My eyes started to water too. “You were my best friend.”

She swallowed. “I still am.”

I shook my head. “You’re not. You’re nobody to me now. I hate what you did to me. I got hurt because you drugged me. Look at my scar. You lied and said I cut myself?”

She shook her head. “I never did. I told her you fell in the rose bush—she made that up. I never spoke to your dad. I only called Sheila. I was just supposed to give you the bottle and get you to drink it. She was going to drug test you with your dad. The plan had been a go for a week. You shoplifting like an idiot was what made it worse.” Her words had grown venomous. “Sheila ruined me as much as she did you!”

“HOW COULD YOU FALL FOR HER SHIT?” I jumped at her. I didn’t even know what I was doing. I leapt at her and shoved her to the locker. She pushed me back and we fell, gripping each other. I slapped my hands like I was fighting with Suzzy, but when she hit me in the eye in her flailing, I smashed her face into a locker. It was chaos.

The next thing I knew, we were being pulled apart. I was still kicking at her and we were both crying and screaming.

The last thing I saw was Aiden’s back as he threw me over his shoulder and walked out of the school.

There are four things in the world a white girl cannot live without:

Lip-gloss, Leggings, iPhone, and Katy Perry.

I know I should say self-worth, but the song “Roar” is like almost having self-worth!

Chapter Ten

Prince NOT SO Charming

“JESUS CHRIST, FIN!” He paced and watched the video again. I didn’t understand why he was so worked up. So the video had gone viral? It wasn’t as if you could even see my face in it.

His face was beet red and he looked like a psycho. “How can I explain this to my mother and brother now?” Aiden had never yelled at me before.

Tears started to leak out of my eyes. He dropped to his knees in front of me. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

I sat frozen, not sure I understood what was happening. “It’s my fault?”

He nodded. “I know. I know you’re sorry, but this might be irreparable.”

I closed my eyes for a second. “I’m not sorry. I was asking you if you think this is my fault?”

He nodded. “I do. You acted like a child. You always act like a child. You just can’t seem to be an adult no matter the cost.”

I shoved him hard. “WHAT COST?”

His eyes flared, “ME! I am the cost! I can’t be with you. Don’t you see that?”

I jumped up off the bench and walked away, shouting back at him. “NO! I DON’T SEE THAT!”

He ran after me, spinning me around to face him. “I am fucking royalty.”

I laughed sarcastically. “You’re fucking royalty?”

He moaned, covering his face with his hands. He looked psycho, like ‘I should probably run away’ psycho. “You are the most irritating girl I have ever met in my life. You’re infuriating. I feel like I’m having a stroke.” He turned and paced, rubbing his chest with his fist. “I am a prince. I am the second in line to the throne of Andorra.”

I paused. “What does that even mean? Is this like fantasy camp? ‘Cause this isn’t funny. You were scary there for a second.” I didn’t know where Andorra was, but I had a bad feeling he might say Middle Earth, and Jess had already made me watch those movies. There was no way I was dating a guy who loved them.

“I. AM. A. PRINCE.”

“Like the musician? I mean, what does prince mean to you?”

He gaped. “What does that mean? Can you not understand English? It means I am a member of a royal family. I am a prince, as in my cousin is Prince William. It also means I cannot date a girl who is bent on her own destruction. It means that if you have a drug problem or cut yourself or drink too much or make sex videos or have multiple partners or make a bloody fool of yourself, I CANNOT DATE YOU!”

My body was numb and my heart was racing. Prince William? He was a prince like Prince William? Suddenly, a few things started to make sense. “That’s why Jack said he liked Canada, no paparazzi. That’s why everyone was so nice to me—they thought we were dating… and you being a prince… Oh my God.”

“Just take a breath. It’ll be okay. It doesn't mean anything. I’m still me. It just adds rules, and only in social settings.” He sighed and looked like he was about to say something, but his phone rang. He held a hand out. “Just wait.” He answered it. “Yes?”

I backed away from him slowly, muttering to him, but mostly myself, like a nut. “Oh my God.” My mouth was dry and my heart was rapid. “That’s why it was so funny you were an employee at Lakeside. Of course. Oh my God.” I wiped the instant sweat from my brow and walked farther away. He was not good for me. No… I was not good enough for him. My hands gripped my hips, desperate to hold something. I was short of breath. I couldn’t even see straight. “Oh my God.” I covered my face with my hands and walked, not sure if I was going to recover from that. His manners and his stiff upper lip and his friggin’ attitude. His demanding ways and controlling… “SHIT!”

I looked back. He was still on the phone. Standing under a huge tree in his school coat and shaking his head, he looked like a prince. It made sense. It made everything make sense.

His confliction over having sex with me was clear. Imagine getting me pregnant and being stuck with me. I gagged a little. I wasn’t good enough. “Oh God.” My stomach twisted. I needed Linna. It was an unexplainable need. We had been friends forever and her betrayal had broken my heart, but in that moment, I just needed my friend, the friend I had always imagined she had been. I pulled my phone out and sent her a text.

The place we hide, fifteen minutes! We need to talk!

She sent back an instant, KK!

I took one last look of him. He was like a portrait. I snapped a photo of him standing there with one hand, holding the phone to his ear and the other running through his dark hair. He looked torn. I looked at the photo. In my head, I called it “The Conflicted Man,” and it made me smile before I turned away and ran from him as fast as I could.

I stopped at Starbucks and grabbed two pumpkin spiced lattes and walked to the spot. It was the library. We didn’t study or read, but we liked to sit under the books and whisper. It was quiet and the last place anyone would think to look for me. When I rounded the corner, she was sitting in our spot, holding two Starbucks coffees. I smiled bitterly and she rolled her eyes. “We are so predicable.”

I slumped down next to her and started to drink my coffee.

“How’s your eye?”

I shrugged. “Fine. Sore.”

“My head is sore too.” She looked weird. She picked at the lid and I noticed her nails were chipped and her lips were chapped under the gloss. Her roots had grown out and she had bags under her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She started to cry again.

I nodded. “Me too.”

“Not as sorry as I am.”

I looked up at her. “My heart is broken and I need my best friend.” I didn’t completely want to forgive her, but I needed her. I missed being with her. Only a girl like her understood a girl like me.

Her lip quivered. “My heart is broken too. I wish I had just done so many things differently.” She covered her face and sobbed. “I’m so ashamed.”

I didn’t tell her about him. I sat and listened to her talk when she stopped heaving and sobbing.

“My parents sent me to my grandma’s for the last couple weeks of summer. My mom told me she was ashamed of me and she didn’t want to see me for a while. She couldn’t stand to look at me. My dad still hasn’t spoken to me. Aaron came over and broke up with me. He said he needed to hear it from me—why I’d done it. When I told him it was for him, he lost it. He was so mad. He said he never wanted to see me again. I didn’t sleep or eat. My grandma knew what had happened; she saw the link on my Facebook page. She said she was disappointed I had turned out so bad. They closed my Facebook and took my phone and iPad.” She looked at me and I could see the desperate sadness for the first time. It was real. She nodded. “I know it may not seem like it, but I am sorry. I don’t even know what I was thinking. I don’t have an excuse.”

I reached over and took her hand in mine. “I’m sorry too. I haven’t been a good friend. I shouldn’t have flirted with Aaron. He shouldn’t have even considered me an option. I knew you liked him. Deep down, I knew it. I’ve been a shit and you’ve been a shit and now we’re both shit.”

She ran her finger down the scar. “I called Sheila’s cell phone when you fell. There was so much blood. She told me to call an ambulance, but she got to Carter’s before they did. She told me to go ‘cause I was drunk and she would take care of it. I was so scared. You were hurt and I’d drugged you. I played along to protect myself, and I should have stood up to her and defended you.”

I shook my head. “You saved me. You just didn’t know it. I was spiraling hard. I’d been so drunk and stupid I didn’t even see where it was going. I could have lost my V in Carter’s yard or pool and not even noticed.”

She smiled. “Well, now you can lose it to that hot guy.”

I covered my face with my hands and cried. “I can’t. I’m not good enough for him.”

She wrapped herself around me. “You are. You’re awesome. Fin, don’t cry.”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t ever see him again.”

She whispered in my ear. “That’s a pity ‘cause he’s standing right there.”

I looked up to see Aiden watching us from the end of the aisle. He opened his mouth, but I backed away and looked at Linna. “I gotta go.”

She looked at him. “What did you do?”

He scowled at her. “What did I do? What did you do?”

I scrambled to my feet and ran from the aisle. I assumed he wouldn’t run in a library so I bolted for the main floor. I got to the front doors when I heard him call me. The librarian shushed him, but he shouted my name again. I ran through the door and behind the library. I pressed my back against the grey brick wall and took deep breaths. I didn’t know what to do about him. I looked down at the ring on my finger.

“Don’t run! Just let me explain.” Aiden came around the corner, also out of breath.

I shook my head. “You lied to me about being from Britain.”

He stopped walking and put out his hands, like I had a knife or something. “I never lied. My mother’s family is British. It’s a very long story.”

I looked around. “Well, does it look like I have anywhere I can go?”

He sighed. “My father’s family is from Andorra. My mother’s family is French royalty. My mother was married to him as a peace treaty to the people of Andorra who wanted their own royal family. They claimed to be worried about the state of affairs in Europe, specifically the Union. We’ve been run by the French President and the Bishop of Urgell, in Spain, for a very long time. But my people have demanded the treaties be redrafted and they be allowed to have their own monarchy. This fight has been going on for some time. My father’s family managed to stay out of it until they decided upon his bloodline as the most viable option for a king. My mother is a French Princess, according to bloodlines, so she was France’s option for a suitable marriage for the Andorran king they had approved.”

I was very lost. I shook my head. “What is Andorra?”

“A country.”

“A country? In Europe?”

He nodded. “The country that is a tax haven for many foreigners, but only one third of the population has the right to vote or own majority in any companies. The possibility of growth is there, but the older generation is stubborn and tries to hang on to the old ways. In the old way, only the few have the rights to voting and ownership. It was breeding corruption. Having a king on the throne changes that, especially since the king and queen are aligned with the French and the British. My mother’s family is also related to the English royals. My mother’s maiden name is Windsor. Charles is her second cousin. Her family, Jack and Millie, are English on one side and French on the other. Now all Andorrans are equal under the law of the king. It’s not an absolute monarchy, but it is a voice for the citizens who are not full-blooded Andorran. My brother is next in line. He is already married and settled into becoming king.”