Whispers from the Past (36 page)

After about five minutes, she was done and the water was cooling. With a tense smile, she rose and reached for one of the cotton sheets. “Here is a cloth you can use for a towel. Once you have dried and gotten into bed, I shall wash your shirt and hang it by the hearth to dry.” She walked to the window and faced into the yard.

It didn’t take me long to towel off with that lame piece of cloth and then slip under the cool, rough covers of the bed.

With the creaking of the bed frame, Susanna shot into action. She scooped my dirty shirt from the floor and bent over the tub. With quick movements of her arms, she scrubbed the shirt, rubbed it with some type of dried flower, wrung it out, and then spread it before the hearth.

“Mark?” She kept her back to me.

“Yeah?”

“I shall have a sponge bath and then join you.”

“Okay.” My voice sounded strangled. Really? I was supposed to lie beside her all night?

She crossed to the bathtub. I closed my eyes, unwilling to watch. How was I going to get through this night?

Water sloshed.

Curiosity got the better of me. I peeked.

Her hair was down, lying about her shoulders like a dark curtain. She wore a thin, silky, sleeveless dress. It left nothing to the imagination.

My body shook with need. I turned away. “Maybe we shouldn’t share this bed.”

“We shall.” Her feet padded closer. The bed shifted under her weight.

I groaned. “Please, Susanna. I can’t take this.”

“Mark. I am…protected.”

I looked at her, breathing so hard that I panted. “Do you mean birth control?”

“Yes, the kind that lasts for many months.” She swallowed. “You once said you would not deepen our relationship unless I did the asking. Do you remember?”

“I remember.”

“I am asking.”

In a flash, I sat upright, the sheet sliding to my waist.

“Here? Now?” My whole body tightened as hard as steel.

She stood, undid one small button at her neck, and shrugged. The gown slipped from her shoulders to pool at her feet.

Holy shit, she was beautiful. Every bare inch. Every sweet curve.

She lifted the sheet and slid beneath it. Her fingers wove into my hair and drew me down, our mouths fusing in a hot, wet kiss.

Her taste was like a drug. I wanted to lose myself in it, but I couldn’t. We had to…think. Talk. Something.

I pulled away. “Susanna, wait.”

“Yes?” Her hand trailed from my neck to my chest.

“I didn’t bring a condom.”

“It is not a concern.” Her eyes widened and her hand stilled. “Unless…” She looked away.

“No, babe. I’ve waited. Since the day we met, there has only been you.”

She met my gaze, her lips curved in the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen. “Love me.”

Sometimes, it frightened me how much I did love her. She was perfect. “Are you sure?”
Please be sure
. I trembled with the effort to not crush her in my arms.

“Indeed, I am. In this place, we are one. Let us make it so.”

C
HAPTER
F
ORTY
-T
HREE

F
ACING
F
ORWARD

I had returned to the past believing there was no way I could love Mark any more than I did, but this night in his arms proved me wrong.

Filled with a profound sense of joy, I awakened before dawn and watched him in repose, enjoying the warmth of him beside me.

I pondered what it would be like when we returned to the twenty-first century. How would his family react if we maintained the level of intimacy we had shared this night? Our commitment might not be legally binding there, but it was still honorable and true.

There was another looming worry. What would we do after the summer had ended and he had to start college? I could no longer imagine being in his world and not being
with
him.

Sleep left Mark slowly. His eyes remained closed even as he smiled. “So, when’s breakfast?” he whispered against my shoulder.

“No one will expect us for three hours or more.”

“My kind of place.” His hand slid from my hip to my belly.

I loved the ease we had discovered with each other. “Mark?”

“Hmm?”

“It is May second.” Yesterday had been an important date for him in 2017. Had he remembered?

“Yeah, babe.” He shifted awkwardly until we both lay on our sides, facing each other. “I accepted Newman College before I left.”

It gave me a thrill to hear those words. “I am delighted.”

“Me too.” He reached up and smoothed a lock of hair away from my face. “You were right, Susanna. Newman is where I need to be. I don’t know why it took so long for me to say yes.”

The smile froze on my face as I thought through his words. Had it taken him long because I clouded his judgment? Would he have made the right choice if I had still been there?

“You’re beautiful,” he said, his lips angling over mine. They clung. The kiss deepened. His hand caressed my waist with intention.

Even as I yielded to the sweetness of his touch, I knew an unbearable sadness, for I had seen what he had not. Mark had only made his best decision when distant from me. What might be required of me to ensure that he could have the life he deserved?

It took the arrival of a maid to tidy and leave fresh water to remind us that the world encroached. We slipped from the bed and dressed.

There was no one about in the parlor. I served Mark breakfast, ignoring his protests. I knew it bothered him, but it was the way of this world.

When at last my mistress swept in, lovely and laughing, we were nearly done. “What are your plans for the day?”

I stiffened, unwilling to answer with clarity. Mark expected me to ask for my indenture to end today. Since it was my intention to see the contract through, I must steer the conversation away from that topic. He would never agree with my decision, and the ensuing argument would be disastrous for all.

Mark did not understand the need for reticence. “We’ll return home.”

She blinked. “Indeed? And where is that?”

I caught his hand under the table and squeezed, needing him to hush. “My husband expects to go to Worthville today, and from there he will travel to the mountains.”

“Shall I ask Richards to fetch the carriage? Would you like to take it as far as Worthville?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Whitcomb.” I nodded brightly without looking Mark’s way. “Mr. Lewis remains uncomfortable from his treatment by Mr. Pratt. A carriage ride will be most welcome.”

And so the trip was arranged. Mrs. Whitcomb’s coachman drove us to Worthville, stopping at my brother’s farm. I encouraged Mark to enter the farmhouse, so that I could speak with the coachman in private.

“Please wait here,” I said with a quiet smile. “I shall pay a brief visit before we return to Raleigh.”

The man grunted, gave me a curt nod, and turned to care for the horses.

I hurried to the house to join Mark in greeting my brother and his family.

It was in the afternoon before we slipped away and walked along the banks of Rocky Creek. We held hands. Mine trembled.

“Babe, what’s wrong?”

“I am overcome by what I am about to do.” My voice sounded thick.

He pulled me into his arms and rested his cheek against my hair. “You’re making a huge decision, but it’ll be fine. We’ll make it work.”

“I am greatly saddened.” I kissed his collarbone where it was exposed by the loosened opening of his shirt, memorizing the taste and feel of him.

He strained to move more quickly, his hand firm around mine, even as my steps dragged. When we were within sight of the waterfall, he stopped again. “What is it? You’re shaking like crazy.”

“I am afraid.”

“Of what, babe?” He pointed at the waterfall. “Are you worried that we won’t get back through? Because we will. Whisper Falls has never failed us.”

“That is true.”

We passed the granite wall and the cave that had served as my haven for so many years, pausing on my favorite rock.

He kissed me. “I know how sad this moment must be for you. Once we step through, you’ll never be able to return.”

“Yes.”

He looked around, studying the creek, the cliff, the tall grasses rippling on the bluff. “It’s hard to say good-bye.”

Tears burned in my eyes. I nodded.

“I’ll go first and help you across.” He leapt through.

The water in the twenty-first century must have been slight, for I could only see slivers of his face and body, as if I were peering through the cracks of a fence.

“Come on. It’s your turn.”

I shook my head.

“Susanna? What are you waiting for?” His smile faltered.

I drew in a deep breath. “I shall stay here until I complete my indenture.”

“What?” His brow creased in confusion. “You’re staying there?”

“My work is not done.”

“This is crazy. What difference does a few weeks make?”

“I expect the tornado will come in three days. I must be here to ensure that Dorcas survives.”

“Three days? I thought it was… Okay, I’m not arguing about that.” He raked his hands through his hair. “Fine. So May fifth is the date. When will I see you? May sixth? June first?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know? Guess, then.”

I stared at him, mute with distress. How could I be certain of the correct date?

“Wait, Susanna.” His eyes widened in horror. “Promise me that you’re coming back.”

Not come back?
Ever
?

Did he think that was an option?

Did I?

Merciful heavens, what a thought. I had detached from him in March because our relationship lacked balance. We had been walking along different paths and at different speeds. I’d hoped that our journeys would one day align again. Could I be wrong?

“I am overwhelmed by our circumstances, Mark. I fit poorly in your world, and I hold you back. Perhaps we will fare better without each other.”

“No, Susanna, that’s not true. We might’ve been separated since the breakup, but my heart never gave up.”

I had to think this through. When I’d moved to the future, it had been because I had no other choice if I wished to live. Now that I could have my freedom here, I should use the weeks left on my indenture to gauge where I was truly meant to be. This was what Whisper Falls had tried to tell me. It was completely my choice this time. “I shall make no promises. I’m not sure what the right decision is.”

He faced away from me, head bowed, hands on hips. When he turned back around, he spoke in a low, controlled, tight voice. “Are you saying that it’s possible that you’ll stay in the past?”

The words ached in my throat. “It is possible.”

He breathed through his mouth, the sound audible across the centuries. “How can you even imagine living apart from me?”

“When I’m not around, you make better decisions.”

“I can learn to make good decisions
with
you.”

“You’re attending your dream college. I would only be in your way.” It hurt so much to explain. “If I do stay here, I could be content. I have skills that I can sell without getting documents and attending years of schooling. What I do will make a difference in this world.”

“Who you
are
makes a difference to us.” His chest heaved with the intensity of his emotions. “Come back with me, Susanna. Please. I’ll try to be worth you.”

“You’re worth far more.” I kept my face still and willed the tears not to fall. “I shall leave now.”

“Please. Don’t do this.” He slipped his hand through a thin rope of water. It appeared on my side, stopping at his wrist.

I longed to touch him, but that was madness. Surely.

I placed my hand in his.

Strong and unyielding, his fingers clutched mine. Desperation ravaged his face as he tried to pull me through.

“Please let me go,” I whispered.

Time passed. Insects chirped. Birds called. And his eyes stared into mine. Pleading. Sorrowful.

I shook my head, and he let me go.

“I shall love you forever, Mark.” Spinning on my heel, I strode away from him. I would not look back. I would not falter.

“Don’t leave me.
Please
.”

I moved steadily down the creek bank, facing forward. If I had to sacrifice for him, I could not bear to watch.

C
HAPTER
F
ORTY
-F
OUR

A S
AD
R
EFLECTION

Incredulous, I watched as she walked away, screaming at her to
come back
.

I hopped from one ribbon of water to another, changing the angle, stretching, bending to see another sliver of her pale dress, loose wisps of her dark hair. But soon she blended into the forest and the sunlight.

When I could no longer see her, I still didn’t leave. Hoping, praying that it was all a big mistake. That she was testing my love. My resolve. The falls.

My legs buckled. I sank to the rock, dropped my head in my hands, and sucked in gasping breaths. This was a nightmare.

Please let me wake up
.

Ten minutes passed. Then thirty.

Susanna had left me.

I stood slowly and looked around me as if in a fog.