Whispers (41 page)

It was after three in the morning when the final man stumbled from the saloon into the street. Aiken stayed at my table watching with narrowed eyes as Sawyer locked the doors and pulled out the money he’d collected that night. I stood and brought my winnings to the bar. Sawyer looked up as I crossed and once again I felt hot from the gaze that traveled my body.

“
Made yourself a fortune tonight, looks like,” Aiken said amiably, watching as Sawyer sorted through the money.

“
Did all right.”

Aiken’s pockets should have been bulging as well, but he’d lost his money faster than the girls could earn it. Not an easy feat when all of them, right down to Athena, had been servicing the customers without pause since business had begun. I couldn’t allow myself to think of the hours they’d spent upstairs or the exhaustion they must feel right now.

Sawyer counted out the money I’d delivered, took his cut and pushed what was left back to me.

“
You did fine tonight,” he said.

“
She cheated, is what she did. She’s going to get us both shot if she’s not careful.”

Sawyer’s eyes snapped to my face. “I did not cheat,” I said angrily. “You are simply unlucky, Mr. Tate.”

His face reddened at that and I knew I should have kept the last jibe to myself. But he infuriated me. How dare he accuse me of cheating?

“
You best check on your own business,” Sawyer said, his voice calm but deep enough to tell me he hadn’t liked what Aiken said. He hadn’t exactly defended my honor, but I knew he believed me over Aiken and that only added to the jumble of mixed-up feelings inside me.

He pulled out his ledger and handed it to me.

“
She doing your books too?” Aiken said. “A piece of tail like her? She’ll rob you blind and you’ll deserve it.”

I picked up a pencil and forced my attention to the columns. Ignoring Aiken, Sawyer set two glasses on the bar and splashed three fingers of amber whiskey into each. To my surprise, he pushed one in my direction and took the other himself, leaving Aiken out completely. I’d never drunk whiskey, though after tonight I certainly smelled of it. It had been splashed over my hands, my arms, my dress, my neck, and in my hair at least a dozen times.

“
I see how it is,” Aiken said when neither of us responded to his insult. “You think you can muscle me out, you’re wrong. I ain’t no fool you can just set off like I don’t own a bit of what’s what.”

Sawyer looked at him then. “You don’t own any of it, Tate.”

Aiken frowned. “I was good enough to borrow from when you needed it.”

“
And I’m good enough to pay you back. Nobody’s questioning that. You got your girls working under a roof. You got your business. Don’t mess with mine.”

Aiken looked at me as if I were to blame for what Sawyer said. “I thought we was partners.”

“
I never said that. Never did.”

“
But I was good enough to borrow from.”

Sawyer picked up the stack of money beside him and counted out five hundred dollars. I knew we’d been busy, but I’d no idea that he’d brought in so much. When he was done, there were still small satchels of gold and coins piled beside him. I estimated over a thousand dollars had been made in the one night. I, myself, had close to thirty dollars of winnings that were mine. I didn’t know how much it would cost to send Chick and Athena on their way, but it was a good start.

Aiken looked at me as if he’d read my mind, reminding me that tickets to somewhere else were not all I needed for them. They would have to disappear, vanish without a trace. How would I accomplish that?

“
Aiken?” Meaira called from upstairs. “Are you comin’?”

I’d learned that Aiken kept Meaira on short supply when there was work to be done. I could hear the yearning in her voice now, the raw need to have her awareness dulled. I couldn’t blame her.

Sawyer pushed the five hundred dollars at Aiken. “I’ll have you paid before the month is out.”

“
I never said you had to do it all at once,” Aiken said, trying to push it back.

“
No, but I can see it’ll be for the best.”

Aiken looked back and forth between me and Sawyer, and I knew he wanted to argue. I knew he liked having Sawyer owe him. I wanted to plop my thirty on top of Sawyer’s hundreds, but I knew that the gesture would incite Aiken more than anything, and I was smart enough, for once, to restrain myself. I had an idea though. I counted ten dollars from my pile and handed it to Sawyer.

“
My rent,” I said.

He had a poker face I could not fault and only a flicker of his eyes gave him away. Beside me Aiken shifted uncomfortably, reminding me of a street dog backed into a corner with a bone.

“
Your girls are using four rooms, that right?” Sawyer asked.

Aiken nodded suspiciously.

“
You want to pay cash or you want your room and board to go against the debt?”

I saw understanding dawn for Aiken and with it anger that crept up his face and stained it a dirty red. “We didn’t never talk about rent.”

“
I could be letting those rooms,” Sawyer said, taking a drink of whiskey. “I already got the other two going tomorrow. Won’t charge you what I charge them—not by half, but I expect you to keep that between us.”

Sawyer’s voice rang clear and honest and I knew he meant it. He would not swindle Aiken, though I wished he would. He took another drink and then played his ace, which I had not suspected he held.

“
To show you I’m fair, you can play your cards with house credit until my debt is squared.”

This, I saw, was a generosity Aiken did not expect. It went long in appeasing the insult of paying rent. But what I knew and Aiken did not, was that Sawyer had set a trap of his own making. For Aiken could not resist the cards, nor, if he was forced to play by the rules, could he win. He’d been cheating at his own table for so long, that he believed he had a gift for gamble. But he was no better than my father. By giving him his bankroll up-front, Aiken would play more daringly and he would lose. I knew it without a doubt.

I felt Aiken’s eyes shift to me and I quickly lifted the glass of whiskey Sawyer had given me and took a small sip. The alcohol burned my throat and set me to coughing. Aiken laughed meanly.

“
That’s a deal. Against your debt, all of it.”

“
I’ll need your mark before you have any of it.”

“
I’ll give it.”

And with another mean glance my way, he turned toward the stairs as Meaira’s pitiful voice called out again. He paused as he set his foot to the first riser. “Almost forgot to tell you,” he said. “I heard Jake Smith is still hunting for her. If I was you, I’d turn her over before he finds her.”

I’d almost brought the coughing under control but his threatening words started me anew until I felt I would choke on the burn the liquid left in my throat and the fear his words seared in my thoughts. Sawyer came around the bar and patted awkwardly on my back until the coughing subsided. Tears were in my eyes as I struggled to draw a breath. Sawyer stood beside me until I got myself under control again.

“
All right?” he asked.

It seemed an insane question to me when Aiken’s words still rang in my ears. Sawyer didn’t wait for me to answer. He went back behind the bar, scooped all the money and the ledger into a box, and disappeared into the storeroom. I heard thumping and sliding, as if he were moving something heavy out of the way. I stayed where he’d left me, unsure of what to do next.

He stepped from the back room and slowly I stood. I smoothed the fabric of my dress with nervous hands. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but I felt him watching my every movement.

“
Jake ain’t going to touch you,” he said softly.

Surprised, I jerked my gaze from the floor to his face. “What did you say?”

“
No one’s going to touch you but me.”

In two steps he was beside me. Without waiting to hear my response, he scooped me from my feet and cradled me against his chest. My arms circled his neck and I held on as he carried me toward the stairs. A million thoughts flashed through my head, but not one of them was no. Not one.

He carried me as if I was a child and I let him. It seemed like years had passed since anyone had taken care of me or sheltered me from the world beyond, yet only a few weeks ago my father had been alive and watching over my family. How different my life was now. But as I looked into Sawyer’s face, I realized I felt no fear. In fact, somehow I’d come to trust him. Whatever happened next, I knew my trust would not be shaken.

He carried me into his room and kicked the door shut. Neither of us had spoken since he’d lifted me into his arms, but words seemed unnecessary. My heart was pounding like the hooves of a stampeding herd and my dress seemed suddenly four sizes too small instead of only two.

Sawyer dropped the arm beneath my legs and let me slide slowly down his body until I was standing in front of him with less than a breath of air between us. The moonlight fell across the floor and turned our world into a silver-edged cocoon where only the two of us and the tension that trembled between our bodies existed. He lifted a hand and placed it on the swell of my breasts and I inhaled sharply at the heat of the contact. Slowly, he moved the hand down, watching my face as his fingers cupped my breast. I couldn’t seem to catch my breath but I didn’t care. I only wanted more.

Amazed at my boldness, I leaned into him and raised my mouth to his. My small gesture of surrender, or perhaps aggression, seemed to unleash the need he’d trapped inside. His arms circled me and pulled me tight against his chest. The buttons of his shirt pressed into my skin, but I didn’t care. I ran my hand through his soft hair, and opened my mouth to his kiss. He lifted my feet from the floor and moved closer to the bed. I braced myself for something rough, something taking and unknown. I’d seen glimpses through the tent flaps of what happened next and I was afraid of it. I expected things to go fast now, for him to act as the men I’d seen had—as if they couldn’t believe their good fortune and they wanted to press their advantage before minds could be changed and opportunities lost.

But Sawyer’s arms loosened and I now I feared that he would let me go and I would be the one left with chances ended before they’d begun. Once again my body slid down his until I stood in front of him, the top of my head beneath his chin. I was afraid to look up, embarrassed by my behavior, more so by the lust that surely showed on my face. I kept my eyes fixed on his chest and my splayed fingers. The fabric of his shirt was worn and soft, warm from his skin, which I longed to touch. His throat was golden-brown from hours in the sun.

I looked higher at the strong line of his chin and the gold-flecked stubble that had grown since he’d last shaved. His lips were soft and dusky beneath the mustache, moist from my kisses. His face was weathered, creased from squinting his eyes as he looked across a horizon. White filled in the lines that fanned from their corners where the sun could not reach. And then I was looking into those green-flecked brown eyes of his, and what I saw made my heart somehow stumble. There was the need that I felt in myself but with it was an uncertainty, not that he wanted me, but that I wanted him. I understood instinctively and it made me feel bold and sure when I had no right, no experience to validate the feeling.

He saw the wonder as my emotions played on my face and then he smiled, a slow, alluring smile that made everything inside me feel hot and pliable, like melting wax. His hands moved up and around from my back to my ribs to just below the swell of my breasts. He moved his thumbs lightly over my nipples, watching my face as reaction went through me. I arched against him without meaning to and slid my arms around his neck, pulling his head down so I could kiss him. His mouth hovered over mine for a moment that was at once exquisite and torture. Our breath mingled and I breathed him in, wanting to keep the scent and taste of him in my memory forever.

And then his mouth was over mine, his tongue against my lips, which parted without hesitation. I’d never known anything could feel like this total surrender. His fingers fumbled with the buttons down my back but mine had no trouble freeing his shirt fastenings.

I’d pulled the two sides open and pressed my mouth to his chest before he’d freed the first of the tiny pearl-like fastenings that ran down my spine. He made a sound of frustration and turned me. I reached back and started with the last of them as he struggled with the top. After the first came free, the others followed willingly and before I knew it, he was pushing the shoulders down and the dress became a pool at my feet. My heavy breasts swung free from the confines and I was grateful. His touch had made them swell and feel trapped by the tightness of the bodice. He turned me again like a doll and I stood between his large, workingman’s hands in only my chemise. He had no troubles with the lacings and in an instant, he’d loosened them. His hands were indescribably gentle as he smoothed the cotton down until it fell at my feet where my dress still lay like a colorful pool.

His breath seemed ragged and uneven and all at once I felt shy after so much boldness. But Sawyer seemed to understand. He slid his hand across my chest and up my throat until it cupped my face. He tilted my chin until I looked into his eyes.

“
I’ve been wondering how to get you out of that since I saw you,” he said softly.

And he kissed me again. My bare breasts pressed against his chest, skin against skin, heat fusing us together. I pushed his shirt off his shoulders and we pulled and freed and fumbled until we both stood naked. Sawyer smiled at me again and the look in his eyes spoke of passion and possession. I was his now and I let him see that he would be mine in exchange. He lifted me in his strong arms and set me on the bed, following me down to the softness of the mattress. It was too late to turn back, but the thought of it didn’t cross my mind. I wanted him. I think I loved him. It didn’t matter what reasoning or sense belonged to the feelings.