Whispers (44 page)

Even Aiken was afraid of it. Once I’d heard Meaira try to tempt him out, and he’d refused with a vengeance that betrayed his absolute terror. Later I’d learned that he couldn’t swim, but it still seemed to me that his fear went deeper than drowning.

Whatever the reason, few would go near the springs and so they washed themselves in Aiken’s bathing tent, using water many times over until I wondered how it could clean anyone. Athena’s job was to watch them and make sure they used soap, especially in those private areas. When the water became more mud then liquid, she would dump it and start fresh. I did not envy her the work, especially knowing that her chores did not end there or in the kitchen, because she was used by the worst of them in the bed as well. I could not imagine her exhaustion and my heart was sick for her, but she would not appreciate my sympathy so I did not offer it. When she would allow, I assisted her with the household jobs, but usually my offers were thrown in my face.

One day a man came and took our pictures. He gathered us up and arranged us like jewels in a setting. Later he came back and showed us our likeness frozen forever behind glass. Sawyer bought the picture and hung it on the wall.

Each night as the wee hours of morning came and went, business at last began to dwindle. The last man stumbled down the stairs looking as if he ascended from a part of heaven only he could know and the last drunken miner was carried from the saloon and laid out on the boardwalk until he woke and found his way back to his tent.

I’d been particularly lucky of late and even after Sawyer’s cut of my winnings, I thought I just might have enough to get Chick and Athena away from here. But where would they go? How would they live afterward? And what if Aiken chased them down? From everything I knew about him, he would not let a possession of his go so easily, and that’s what the girls were—his possessions.

All this I thought of as the night wound down and Sawyer locked the door behind the last customer. As usual, he wiped his bar with the pride of ownership and then went to the storage room where he kept his money chest. Aiken watched him go with an expression I didn’t like.

I stood, intending to follow Sawyer and speak with him. I had yet to confide in him about Chick’s secret, but I knew I would need his help. Besides, there were other issues to discuss before we retired for the night and the words exchanged between us became those sighed over our naked bodies.

Aiken stood when I did though and moved close enough that his legs brushed my skirts. I was wearing Chick’s dress again and I was acutely aware of the tight and swooping neck and all the bare skin above it. I knew Aiken was too.

“
You sure smell sweet, Ella. Must be all them winnings. What you going to do with them?”

“
That’s none of your concern, Mr. Tate.”

“
Oh, but it is. I think you’ve got something up your sleeves, or maybe down here.” He ran his finger over the neckline of the dress, touching the tops of my breasts in a slow, unnerving stroke. I slapped his hand and took a step away. He followed, standing too close. Sawyer was still in the other room and I was alone with Aiken. I tried to keep my wits about me. It wouldn’t do to show this man fear.

“
The Captain will not like your touching me any more than I do, Mr. Tate. Please keep your hands to yourself.”

I heard the rustle and thump as Sawyer moved some heavy object—a sound I heard each night when he put up the money he’d made. I knew Aiken heard it too and had surmised that Sawyer was hiding his profits in the storeroom. This was something else I planned to discuss with him.

“
Sounds like the Captain got a little hidey-hole back there,” he said, smiling. “How about you girl? You got yourself a hidey-hole? You think you’re smart enough to keep it from me?” He reached for me again, this time skimming his hand up my chest to my throat. I had only a second to guess his intentions and then his fingers were tightening, blocking off my scream before it could escape.

“
I know you’re thinking you can force me out. I know you talk against me to the Captain at night when he’s fucking you. But ain’t no one makes me do what I don’t want. I’ll leave you for dead and won’t no one care. You hear me?”

I couldn’t move or speak to disagree. I could barely breathe and my fear worked against me, lodging in my constricted throat until I saw spots behind my eyes. I tried to pry his fingers away, but he was strong, much stronger than he looked, and he was furious.

“
See I know all about the Captain. I know what kind of man he is. You think he wants you forever? You think he’ll fight for you?” Aiken breathed in my ear. I felt his mouth against the skin there and I shuddered with revulsion. “He won’t. He’s not a man to fight for what don’t come easy. You keep your legs spread and your mouth closed, he’ll keep you fine. You talk against me and my girls, and I’ll make you dead and he won’t do a thing about it.”

With that he shoved me away and started up the stairs. I leaned against the bar, breathing heavily, feeling his threat roll over me. He’d hit upon my uncertainties with deadly precision. Would Sawyer fight to defend me? Did he care more for the convenience of my body than he did who I was? If I told him about Chick and her baby, would he help us? Or turn us away? I realized the answer that formed in my head was more telling than anything. I didn’t really know what Sawyer would do.

I had only a moment to pull myself together. I looked in the mirror behind the bar. Only a slight red mark showed where Aiken had gripped my throat. I felt as if I should be black and blue, though.

Sawyer emerged and smiled when he saw me and gave me a playful spank.

“
What are you thinking on so hard, Ella?”

I was thinking that I was out of time. That Chick had only a week or two before her condition would be visible to all. Already I could see the swell of her belly and the heaviness of her breasts. Had Aiken not been so busy tormenting me, I was sure he would have noticed by now. I wondered that the others hadn’t seen it, but then I knew how exhausted Athena was and how Chick took care to wear her loose gowns when she was with everyone else.

“
I was thinking about banks, actually,” I said.

He laughed. “You thinking on a holdup?”

I forced a smile. “Not exactly. But I do think you’re asking to be robbed by stashing your money in the storeroom.”

He looked stunned for a moment, as if it hadn’t occurred to him that anyone noticed what he did each night. I was willing to wager that every one of the girls knew exactly where the money was kept. Yes, he locked it up, but locks could be broken.

“
You need to put your profits in a bank, Sawyer, or you risk losing all of it.”

My legs still felt shaky, so I moved to a barstool and turned it so I faced him when I sat. Sawyer crossed to me and leaned one hand against the bar on either side of the stool. The position brought his face close to mine. I could see the flecks of gold and amber in the depths of his eyes and I could smell the scent of soap on his skin. I wished he were my husband and this, our business that we would grow together. I wished there were no danger. I wished for a dream.

“
You remember who I am?” he said softly, those beautiful eyes crinkled with a smile.

I remembered. He was an outlaw who’d robbed banks until his gang turned to murder.

“
I don’t trust banks,” he said.

“
Keeping your money here is like declaring the Diablo a repository. It’s foolish.”

He considered what I said.

“
Maybe you’re right.”

I was surprised by his agreement though we both knew I was right. I’d seen the desperate sort that came through our doors. There was no law out here. It would be only a matter of time before my words became prophesy.

He grinned at me then and scooped me off the chair into his arms. “You worry too much, Ella.”

Did I? Or was it that he didn’t worry enough? He carried me up to his room and closed the door. It seemed I could not get enough of him nor he of me, but my thoughts tonight were too heavy. Did I dare tell him about Aiken’s threats? Did I dare not?

He sat down on the bed and pulled off his boots and shirt, looking at me quizzically when I simply hovered beside him instead of undressing. He tugged at my sleeve and raised his brows in question. “You going to sleep in that?”

I shook my head. “Sawyer, if I was in trouble, would you help me?”

“
I’ve been doing that all along.”

The simple truth of it bolstered my courage. Yes, he had. But what I was about to ask was different and I knew it. “Yes, I know. But….”

He looked at me. “But?”

“
I’m afraid of Aiken,” I said at last. “He threatens me.”

Sawyer frowned. “Threatens you how?”

“
He thinks I have plans that involve the women.”

“
Do you?”

I kept my eyes cast down and didn’t answer. Sawyer took my chin in his hands and turned my face to his. “Do you?” he asked again.

My throat was dry and it was difficult to swallow. At last I nodded. “Chick is with child,” I said.

Sawyer’s eyes widened.

“
She’s afraid when Aiken finds out he’ll try to do away with the baby.”

I told him about Aiken’s methods and the girl who had died because of them. It seemed once I began, I couldn’t stop. I told him about Honey and her sad tale and how the night I’d shot Lonnie Smith, Aiken had talked out of both sides of his mouth, telling the men to leave me alone and have me if they would at the same time.

“
He’s a slave master,” I said in conclusion. “An evil one.”

Sawyer looked troubled by what I’d told him, but I knew before he spoke that his answer would not be what I hoped for.

“
What Aiken does with his women, that’s his business. I’m sorry, but that’s how it is.”

“
And what about me?”

“
You stay out of his way and he’ll stay out of yours.”

“
That’s all you have to say?”

“
Ella, I told you once. I’m not their daddy. I’m not here to take care of them.”

“
And me?”

“
You’re different.”

“
How, Sawyer? How am I different? Because I sleep with you? Go ask Honey or Chick or even Athena. Any one of them would take you to their bed.”

The words burned in my throat but they were true. He narrowed his eyes at me as I stood before him, waiting for an answer. Waiting for him to say I was different because he loved me. Because we loved each other. But those words never came.

“
They’re Aiken’s problem, not mine.”

“
And what does that make me? Your problem?”

“
Evidently,” he answered.

I knew he meant to tease, but my emotions were raw and I couldn’t take it that way. I was hurt and I was scared for my friends, scared for myself.

“
I am sorry I’ve become such a burden,” I said stiffly.

He stood, forcing me to step back. His bare chest gleamed in the candlelight and I knew his skin would feel like warm silk. I knew if I touched him now, if I slipped my hands around his waist and pulled him close, our argument would be over. Sawyer didn’t like to fight and it was I who’d picked this battle. But I also knew that ending it would not include a resolution. I would be in the same state of distress as I’d begun.

Hands on his hips, he made a noise deep in his throat that sounded like a growl. “Become a burden?” he repeated angrily. “Lady, you’ve been nothing but trouble since the first time I set eyes on you.”

I inhaled sharply, willing my tears back. “You don’t know how much trouble I can be, Sawyer McCready. I will not see my friends tortured and used anymore. If it means I bring the sheriff here, then I will do that.”

Sawyer laughed out loud. “Good plan, but did you forget about Lonnie Smith?”

I hadn’t forgotten him, but I hadn’t been thinking about him when I’d made my empty threat. I’d only wanted to hurt Sawyer as he was hurting me.

“
I can see we have nothing else to say,” I said.

“
You’re wrong there, but I’ll let it go. Just stay out of Aiken’s business. I mean that.”

I lifted my chin. “I will be sure to stay out of yours as well.”

He looked like he might argue, but then he turned his back on me. I bit the inside of my lip as I opened the door and left him alone.

***

I’D cried myself to sleep and awoke feeling angry and foolish. What had I expected of Sawyer? That he would don shining armor and rescue us all? My love for him was not conditional, so why had I forced him to make a choice between me and the others? I had vowed to help Chick and I would, but it was not fair that I force Sawyer into such an alliance. He’d invested so much of himself in the Diablo, how could I think he would risk it all?

It was early when I came downstairs. His bedroom door was open, his bed empty. I expected to find him having coffee at the bar or perhaps taking stock of supplies. But though I found an empty cup on a table, I saw no sign of Sawyer. I went to the kitchen where I knew Athena would be and asked if she’d seen him.

“
He gone afore sunrise,” she told me. Her eyes were angry. Her eyes were always angry.

Had I not been so disappointed, I might have left then. But I wanted to know if he’d told her where he’d gone, and I knew she would keep it from me because she could.