Whispering Wishes (3 page)

He says this all the time, and at this point I tune out.
I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard this spiel. He never points out the good things anyone is doing, it’s always how we need to do more and more. It’s rather sad, really. I remember when this bank cared about the staff and we were all more than just numbers; we felt a bit like family and really care about each other to the point that it manifested in how we cared about our business. I miss those days – the days of staff parties, camaraderie, potlucks and bonuses. Now we’ve become so corporate America that all we hear about is how we need to work better, longer, harder, smarter and of course – for less. Add to the bottom line. It’s less than ideal, but I endure it because the fact is, I’ve put in more than a few years here already, and I’m comfortable. Staying here is easier than starting over somewhere new.

“And now for our exciting announcement of the day!”

Suddenly, my attention is one hundred percent focused on my boss once again.
Meg sneaks a pat on my knee and Dave smirks at me. I sit up in my chair a little straighter and lean forward anticipating his words.

“As you all know I’ve been interviewing individuals for the banker position that we have open since Eleanor decided not to return to work after her maternity leave.
Every candidate is amazing and it made my choice very difficult.”

Is it just my imagination or do Steve’s eyes, and those of the staff keep coming my way?
I feel my lips start to rise in a smile. I already have it all worked out what I will say. I’ll thank Steve for the opportunity; tell him I can’t wait to be assigned my portfolio of clients so I can begin to establish relationships with them personally. I will tell him I’d love to discuss the plan of execution with him that I drew up in order to contact each client assigned to me and offer my services, cross sell additional products, and to thank them for their business. It will be great, and we will bask in my intelligence and how right he was to choose me.

“This particular person is such a pleasure to have in the office.
She’s always cheerful and the clients rave about her. She’s established herself wonderfully, supporting all of you and consistently exceeding our internal objectives and goals, but adding to client loyalty through her excellent service. She’s already done so much, and I can’t wait to see what else she has in store for us. I have no doubt she will rise to the occasion.”

Oh. My. Hell.
Here it comes. I lean closer in even greater anticipation and feel the grin start to come to my lips.

“Brandi Thompson!
Congratulations! You are our new banking representative. Welcome to the banking team. I know Aspen and Dave will be thrilled to assist you, and of course you will report not only to me, but to the team lead, Lisa.”

 
Wait. What the hell did he just say? I keep hearing his announcement like an echo in my mind, but it takes a minute for the words to completely compute. I am stunned. Shocked. Like an overinflated balloon, I quickly deflate into the chair. My morning coffee suddenly feels rancid in my stomach and I feel hot tears pressing against the back of my eyes, which I force to stay put. I swallow continuously forcing the coffee to return from where it came. Meg is squeezing my knee hard in a combination of trying to offer me comfort and support. Dave is scowling. How can this be? What did I do wrong? I work so hard. I try so hard. I say and do all the right things. I don’t understand.

“Thank you so much everyone for meeting this morning.
Keep up the great work and have a great day.”

I can’t move.
I just sit in my chair feeling like I can’t even breathe.

“Aspen?
Aspen!”

I blink rapidly and look into the eyes of the head banker and our team leader, Lisa.
“Yes?”

“I’d like to meet with you for a few minutes, okay?”

“Oh. Sure.”

“Let’s go into my office.”

Somehow, I’m miraculously able to get my ass out of my chair and follow her on trembling legs, into her office. I catch the looks Meg and Dave throw my way, and try to give them a grin in return, but I know I probably look like a macabre clown.

Once we are seated
, Lisa wastes no time getting to the point, “I know you must be surprised that you were passed over for the banker position.”

“That’s an understatement, Lisa.”

“You had a wonderful interview and you would really be great for that position, it’s just Steve decided to go in a different direction.”

I barely stifle my snort in response.
“A direction that means hiring the receptionist. A receptionist that has zero banking experience and has only worked here for a matter of months.”

“I know it doesn’t appear to make much sense, but – “

“Try zero sense. It makes zero sense, Lisa.”

She clears her throat
. “But…we have to trust that there is a big picture here. In fact, Steve has asked that you be the one to help train Brandi for her new responsibilities.”

The snort of disbelief comes out loud and clear this time.
“Are you freaking kidding me?”

“No,” Lisa frowns
. “Not at all.”

“With all due respect, that is the least professional – no most ridiculous – no, most unkind thing I have ever heard.
You are sitting here telling me I am not good enough for the job, however I’m good enough to train the person who got the position?”

“I know it may not seem fair – “

“You’re damn right it doesn’t seem fair. No, absolutely not. I am not okay with this.” Lisa’s frown deepens as I place my arms across my chest and look at her defiantly, daring her to argue with me.

“Well I understand that emotions are running high right now.
Why don’t you give it some thought and we will talk about it again later this week, okay?”

“My answer is not going to change.”

“Okay, we will see. Let’s just let it go for now.” She looks at her watch, “We need to open the doors now to the office, so can you please do that on your way back to your desk?”

“Yeah, sure
,” I mumble. But all I can think about is how walking to the front doors to unlock them is going to take me right by Big Boob Brandi. As I get closer, I see her sitting there with a smile on her face, surrounded by Steve and two other employees. The blue blouse under her suit jacket is unbuttoned so low her peach bra is peeking out. I want to throw up.

I walk to the front doors and unlock them, then turn to head back to my desk.
As I walk by, Brandi sees me. “Oh! Aspen!”

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
I see Dave looking at me across the way and he gives me a nod in encouragement. I straighten my shoulders and turn around to face miss bimbo. “Yes?”

“I just wanted to say that Steve told me I will be training with you, and while I know you applied for the job as well, I hope there are no hard feelings.
I really look forward to working with you and learning all about the banking side of things. I really have no clue, so I’m really going to need your expertise! I will be the best note taker you’ve ever seen! It will be great!”

I stare at her face completely unable to respond and watch as the smile falls off her face.
I whirl around. I just want this day to be over. I have a huge tub of ice cream, some cookie dough, and lots of boxes of Kleenex at home with my name on them.

The rest of
the day passes in a blur. When I’m finally in my
car, it
isn’t home that I’m headed for after all. Mischa, completely deserving of the title BFF, called to see how the “big meeting” went. I could barely answer her due to the emotion and disappointment clogging my throat. Knowing me as well as she does, thankfully, she was able to interpret my response to her question as unfavorable. I probably sounded like a dying raccoon or something, since I was only able to emit sounds.

Mischa suggested we meet after work at a new wine bar and restaurant that just opened down the street from her store, called D’Vine.
I am anxious to get there and see her. There is something comforting knowing I will be able to finally admit how I really feel about the events of today. I know I can confide my utter disappointment, rejection, and failure I’m feeling without judgment.

I still can’t believe any of this happened – that I could have been so completely wrong.
I left work without giving Lisa an answer about training Big Boobs, but I really don’t want to do it. Question is, can I refuse and not lose my job? Can I give in to their request and not hate myself for doing so? I don’t know.

Pulling into the parking lot of D’Vine, I quickly locate a parking space and make my way inside the front door.
I’m immediately impressed by the place. Rather than walls, windows entirely surround the customer seating. A huge bar with comfortable looking stools is located to a far side and the opening to the kitchen is next to it. Several seating options exist: tables, booths, and high tops in addition to couches and cozy looking chairs with side tables. The décor is simple and limited, including pictures of wine, decanters, friends enjoying wine, and what appear to be lanterns adorn each table. It’s nice, chic, yet comfortable, and the place is hopping.

 
“Hi, just one?” A perky blonde standing behind a hostess counter grabs my attention away from taking in the bar.

“Actually I’m meeting…”
 I look around once again, this time looking for a familiar face. I grin when I see Mischa already seated in a booth facing the bar. “There she is,” I say, pointing before I start walking toward Mischa.

As soon as she sees me, she stands to give me a hug.
She doesn’t even say a word; she doesn’t have to, she just knows what I need, comfort. We could sit here together and not say a word, and I would be comforted by her mere presence. It amazes me that another person in the world, and one not ever related to me, can be someone’s complete soul match. Because that’s what she is – she’s one of my soul mates. While I don’t believe in all the craziness that Mischa does, I do believe that there are people in this world that we are meant to find because they are our other halves. They complete us in ways that only they are able to do. Whether it’s in friendship, or as a lover, they exist, and I’m fortunate enough to have one.

“How are you doing?
What can I do?” she asks, pulling away from me and holding onto my upper arms as she looks into my face.

With
a big sigh, I blurt the truth. “I feel like shit.” We take our seats and I grab the menu, giving the food a halfhearted once over before I turn straight to the alcohol. “I need a drink.”

“I got that feeling when I spoke to you – and I use that term loosely – on the phone.”

I just snort an agreement.

She smiles at my amazing communication skills
. “One of my clients was talking about how she had lunch here the other day, so I thought we should check it out.”

I look around the room again
. “Good idea, it’s a really cool place.” She nods, and as I’m perusing the various kinds of wine on the menu, I hear a smooth voice say, “Hello beautiful ladies, I’m Wes. Can I start you off with something to drink?”

I look up and take in Wes, and holy cute waiter batman.
He’s super cute. No, strike that. He’s hot. Before I even realize what I’m doing, I’m completely checking him out. He’s wearing black pants that must be uniform for the bar - but he wears them very well. Tucked into his pants is a white button down shirt that’s rolled up his forearms, one of which is covered in tattoos. As I run my eyes up that arm, wondering what other tattoos his shirt hides, I see a strong jaw and full lips upturned into a wide smile and the best pearly whites. They are the kind of lips that make a girl think dirty thoughts. I flush when my mind flashes to what I’d like those lips to do to me. When I meet his eyes, I blink at the impact. They are swimming pools of a green so beautiful, I find myself lost for a moment. As if the rest of him isn’t enough, his head is completely shaved except for the dark thick strip of hair that runs down his scalp – a Mohawk. As if he knows exactly what I’m thinking, those amazing lips form a smirk and ends with a rather smug look on his face.

“I'd like a glass of chardonnay, please,” Mischa says, making me blink and come to my senses.

“Umm,” I feel flustered. Geesh, I’m an idiot. I fumble with my menu and battle the embarrassment wanting to make its way across my face. “I’ll take a glass of merlot, please, thank you.”

I chance a glance at his face again and find his eyes on me.
“You got it ladies. I’ll be back in a few.” I’m not proud of the fact that I totally stare at his ass as he makes his way to the bar to get our drinks. And what a fine ass it is. I look at Mischa with widened eyes, “Whoa. No wonder your client likes this place.”

She laughs and the sound makes me smile.
I can already feel the remnants still clinging to me from my awful day start to disappear. Becoming serious once more, Mischa gently asks, “Do you want to talk about what happened today?”

“No, and yes,” I give her a sad
smile. “We had our staff meeting as planned and at the end of it, Steve made the announcement. I could feel myself lean forward and I even started to grin in anticipation; certain that it was going to be mine. Then, he announced that big fucking boobed Brandi got the job.”

As I make that statement, having
emphasized, “fucking boobed,” Wes picks that precise moment to drop off our glasses of wine. I hear a laugh, and then a cough that is an obvious attempt to cover up the former. I look up and see Wes trying, but failing, to cover a grin. Given my somewhat snarly mood, I can hardly believe myself when I say, “Yes, you heard me right. Big fucking boobed Brandi got a promotion over me. You ever have someone get a job over you because their dick was bigger?”

“Aspen!” Mischa gasps in horror but also covers her mouth as a giggle escapes.
The look on her face is funny. She doesn’t know whether to be embarrassed or find it hilarious.

I look at Mischa, shrug my shoulders, and give her my best innocent face
. “What?”

“I’m not usually in the habit of talking about my super huge dick with people I don’t know.”

“Hm, that’s too bad.” 

“Well here's your wine.
Hopefully this will help ease your pain,” Wes states with a knock out grin. I feel my girly parts jerk in response. Man, but he is pretty. “I’ll be back to take your order.”

“Thanks
,” Mischa says and I just stare until he walks away.

“That boy is almost too pretty. Down girl!”

Mischa raises her brows in confusion, “Down girl? I’m not the one salivating.”

“I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to my vagina.”

She giggles. “Did it work?”

“No, she won’t listen.
She’s been neglected too long.”

She laughs again, but then sobers
. “So big boobed Brandi, huh?”

“Yeah.
She got the promotion. Can you believe that? She’s worked there for what, three months? She has absolutely no experience. Un-freaking-believable. But that isn’t even the worst part.”

Mischa raises her eyebrows in confusion, “How is that possible?”

“Lisa brought me into her office after the announcement and told me that they want me to train her.”

“What?!”

I raise my glass of wine in a sarcastic salute and take a sip before answering. “Yep, my reaction exactly. I’m not good enough to get the job, but yet they want me to train her? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I don’t even know what to say.
Should we call our people who know people?”

“I think we should seriously consider that possibility.”

“I’m so sorry. What did you say to Lisa?”

“I told her just how stupid I thought that suggestion was.
Then I told her I needed time to think about it.” I sigh and drop my shoulders feeling defeated. “How the hell do I do that, Mish? It’s an insult.”

“It is, and I wish I knew what to tell you, but I really don’t.
I can tell you that you are right to feel this way. I would feel that way too.”

“Well that’s something.
At least I know I’m not just being a jealous bitch and overreacting.”

“No, that’s at least not the whole reason,” she gives me a small smile because she knows of course a part of me is jealous, as much as angry, and hurt, and insulted,
and… well the list could go on.

“What I’d like to do is quit and leave them high and dry, fucking them in the ass like they did me.”

And because the universe can be a cruel mistress, that is the precise moment Wes once again makes an appearance at our table. I hear his laugh and look up. “I’m not even going to touch that one,” he says with a wink. Oh lord, he winked at me. I think my uterus just skipped a beat.

“Thank God
,” I hear Mischa mumble. I’m sure it isn’t the first time – and likely not the last- she’s wondering why she’s friends with me.

I laugh out loud because what else can I possibly do?

Wes blesses me with a full out grin, and I’m pretty sure I’m about to ask him to be the father of my future babies when he thankfully asks a question, and stops me from having word vomit. “Did you decide what you want to eat?”

“Oh, I didn’t even look at the menu,” I confess.

“No worries, I got this,” Mischa states and then proceeds to order a sampler appetizer plate for us to share and various kinds of bruschetta.

“Works for me.
She knows what I like,” I grin at Mischa.

“Okay then, I’ll go put that in now.
It shouldn’t be too long.”

“Thanks,” I say with a smirk, which Wes returns.
He stares at me for a minute and it almost looks like he’s going to say something, but then the hostess walks up to him. “Hey, excuse me, Wes? Can I ask you a question?”

“Oh, uh sure, Kimber.
I’ll be back soon ladies.” He walks off and I look at his ass once more with a sigh, then turn my attention back to Mischa and see her smiling at me.

“What?
I said he’s cute. Whatever. He’s the best thing about my day. Don’t judge me. And speaking of which, I have a bone to pick with you.”

“With me?
What did I do?”

“You know, I made my list to the universe last night during the new moon like you told me to and so far, if today is any indication, the universe hates me.”

“The universe does not hate you. You can’t blame this on her – everyone has a bad day. Now just relax and give it time,” she admonishes. “I know what you just said, and can only imagine all you’re feeling, but have you thought about what you are going to say to Lisa tomorrow?”

“I just
don’t know. I guess I will just play it by ear. Maybe I’ll be lucky and she will have mercy on me and ask Dave to train her instead. He would probably like that, although he would probably walk around with a semi erection all day long from training her. You know… considering her tits would be in his face all day.”

“Wow, I have the best timing
ever
today.”

If I was a better person I would flush, but I just look at him and shrug.

“I just want to apologize for Aspen. She’s had a bad day and the filter between her brain and mouth is obviously out of order at the moment.”

“Hey!
Sitting right here, Mish! Besides, filters are overrated.”

“No worries.
I find it refreshing,” Wes says with a smile. “Here’s your food, and a couple plates. Would you like more wine?”