Where the Allegheny Meets the Monongahela (22 page)

After a half minute of silent concentration, Logan said, ―I‘m

s‘posed to drop the girls off at home by one o‘clock next Sunday. I

could be here by… say, two? Would that work for you?‖

―Yeah, I could swing that.‖

―Great.‖

Offering an outstretched hand to seal the bargain, Nick received a

nervous smile and a firm grip from Logan as a reward. At the moment

of contact, there was that now--familiar electric spark, and Nick was

momentarily dazed, feeling the impulse to pull Logan into a tight clinch

before deciding that would be unwise. He did step a bit closer and give

him a clumsy thump on the back. They stood frozen in the near-

embrace for long seconds before Logan cleared his throat and said,

―You better get goin‘, see your mom.‖

Nick took that as his cue to step back. He pulled his keys from his

pocket and headed for the door before looking back to say, ―See ya

next weekend.‖

Where the Allegheny Meets the Monongahela

133

On the way to the hospital, Nick veered wildly between thinking

it would be the longest week of his life—and the shortest.

THURSDAY evening, Nick wrestled with all of the annoying and

endless minutiae it took to get six kids to PNC Park on time for the

Pirate‘s seven-fifteen start. During the day he‘d actually thought he

would be glad for the distraction, needing something to take his mind

off his mom and Logan. Those two topics had fully consumed him for

four long days—when he was being completely honest, the latter even

more than the former.

When the night‘s aggravations actually started, Nick couldn‘t

quite consider them a blessing after all. Several weeks‘ reprieve had

obviously dulled his memory of the lowlights of these baseball outings:

the bickering in the van on the way to the city, the hassle of finding

parking at Station Square, shepherding everyone over Clemente bridge,

and of course, refereeing the heated debate of who would sit where

after they picked up their tickets at the Will Call window. ―Just
take
the

ticket I gave you, and we‘ll sort it out at the seats,
okay
?‖ Nick

snapped.

Suddenly a merry voice sang out, ―They‘re
all
good seats, guys.

I‘d never let you down.‖

Nick turned and grinned at Adam, glad to see not only a friend

but another adult at last.

His relief was cut short by Jesse whining, ―I don‘t wanta sit next

to a girl.‖ He turned to Isabel Cabrera, a last-minute addition to the

group, and sneered, ―I don‘t even know why you let her come. Girls

don‘t know nothin‘ about baseball.‖

Isabel shot back, ―I know as much as you do—probably more!‖

Nick stepped in between the pair, saying, ―That‘s just fine, Jesse,

since I was hoping Isabel would do me the honor of sitting next to me.‖

As they walked to the seats under a temporary truce, Adam

muttered, ―Actually, I was kinda hoping for that seat next to you.‖

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Sotto voce, Nick assured him, ―Don‘t worry, you get the other

one.‖

Luckily once the game started, all the kids settled down,

fascinated by the surprisingly tight contest between the Pirates and their

archrivals, The Philadelphia Phillies. Still, Nick was acutely aware of

the audience and didn‘t relate anything of a personal nature to Adam

other than an update on his mom‘s situation.

His young friend‘s eyes darkened with compassion as he

responded, ―That‘s rough, man. Sorry to hear that.‖

Not much more besides comments on the game passed between

the two men until the seventh inning. The Phillies had pulled ahead by

three runs, and the disappointed crowd was somewhat subdued. Isabel

disappeared in search of a ladies room while several of the boys went

off on a cotton candy hunt. Nick was already bracing for the

aftereffects of the inevitable sugar rush but appreciated that there were

now three empty seats between him and his nearest charge.

When Adam asked, ―Why‘re you so quiet tonight? Think they

can‘t pull this out, or is it your mom?‖

Nick decided to take advantage of their relative privacy. ―Yes,

and yes and no.‖

Laughing and shaking his head, Adam said, ―Care to explain?

‘Cause I didn‘t quite get that.‖

―I don‘t think they can come back from this collapse, I am

worried about my mom, but there is something else on my mind.‖

Adam glanced over at the kids and, seeing the remaining boys

occupied by the game, asked, ―Like what?‖

Hesitating for only a second, Nick plunged ahead, whispering, ―I

met someone.‖

In an equally low tone, Adam asked, ―A guy you‘re interested in,

you mean?‖

―Yeah, a guy.‖

―Guess it‘s about time,‖ Adam responded with a shrug. ―I always

wondered why you didn‘t… you know.‖

Where the Allegheny Meets the Monongahela

135

Nick licked his lips nervously before elaborating, ―I‘m not one

for…. What I mean is, I was perfectly happy with what you and I

had—‖

―Had?‖ Adam‘s eyebrows slanted upwards in consternation.

―Whoa, are you trying to say we‘re through? Fuck, don‘t tell me you

think you‘re
in love
.‖

―No!‖ Nick saw Ben shoot a puzzled glance their way from four

seats over and lowered his voice again as he clarified, ―It‘s just that I

might not have much time for you for a while, and I wanta be upfront

about it.‖

A grin broke across his face as Adam said, ―Okay, gotcha.‖

Hearing a restrained cheer ripple through the crowd, he turned to watch

McLouth take first base on a walk before continuing. ―For a second

there, I thought you‘d lost your mind.‖ His smile took on a sly cast as

he added, ―You realize I want details, don‘t you?‖ Adam made a ―give

me‖ gesture with his hand, demanding, ―Come on, who is he, where‘d

you meet ‘im, and most important of all, how‘s the sex?‖

Faking a sudden interest in the game afforded Nick a minute to

consider what he was going to tell Adam.
It isn’t like he’s gonna know

me taking up with an abuser throws into question my supposed

recovery from my childhood.
Still, even Adam was savvy enough to

realize that, based on everything Nick had ever said about his work, he

was now, literally, sleeping with the enemy.

Nick cringed with embarrassment at the thought of revealing such

a lapse in judgment, so he finally hedged by admitting only, ―He‘s a

volunteer. At ACC.‖

―Huh, never thought you‘d mess around at work. He must really

be somethin‘. What‘s he look like?‖

―Muscular build, blond, almost as tall as me.‖

―Sounds hot.‖ Adam doffed his Pirates cap and tapped Nick on

the arm with it, saying, ―Good for you.‖ His voice grew more animated

as he suggested, ―Hey, some guys are gettin‘ together at Sully‘s this

Sunday to watch the Steelers game. Why don‘t you two swing by?‖ His

grin turned wolfish. ―I‘d love to meet your new conquest.‖

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Eyes on the relief pitcher warming up in the bullpen, Nick quietly

demurred, ―Sorry, we can‘t make it.‖

―Some other time, then?‖

―I really don‘t see us goin‘ out together much.‖

―Why? Is he ugly?‖ Adam teased.

―No.‖ Nick laughed in spite of himself, turning to Adam to add,

―He‘s actually
really
good-looking.‖

―So the problem is…?‖

Nick had a sinking feeling that Adam wasn‘t going to let up on

this. In desperation, he supplied, ―He‘s married. With kids.‖

Puzzlement wrinkled Adam‘s brow as he whispered

incredulously, ―You‘re messin‘ with a
closeted guy
from work? What

the fuck?‖

―Logan isn‘t like that,‖ Nick interjected. After taking a deep

breath, he explained, ―He‘s… he‘s never
ever
been with a guy before.‖

Adam‘s mouth fell open, and his eyes grew wide. His voice still

low but his tone urgent, he said, ―What? He‘s straight? Holy shit!‖

―Well, obviously he‘s not straight,‖ corrected Nick dryly.

―You know what I mean. I know you‘re not gonna like this, dude,

but that is so hot.‖ Nick resumed watching the game, determined to

ignore Adam‘s sudden fascination with Logan until Adam mused,

―What do ya think? Maybe I can have a crack at this guy when you‘re

done?‖

An unfamiliar feeling crawled into Nick‘s gut, sending a flush of

temper through him; it took some effort for him to clamp down on the

sudden need to tell Adam to go fuck himself.
What the hell is wrong

with me? You’d think I was jealous or something.
In an effort to prove

the green monster had no hold on him, Nick joked back, ―You think

you‘re gonna have time for anyone else but me when this thing with

Logan is over? You better think again.‖

―Oh promises, promises,‖ Adam laughed. ―And I‘m still waiting

for those juicy details.‖

Where the Allegheny Meets the Monongahela

137

Nick nodded discreetly in the direction of the kids, saying, ―And

you‘re gonna have to keep on waiting—for a better time.‖
Or until hell

freezes over.

―Okay,‖ Adam sighed. He signaled one of the vendors over,

asking Nick, ―Want another dog?‖

―Sure. Who‘s buyin‘?‖

―You are.‖ Adam turned twinkling green eyes on Nick. ―It‘s the

least you can do after puttin‘ me on a diet.‖

Nick reached for his wallet, protesting, ―Okay, but I know you‘re

not really gonna be going hungry.‖

―Looks who‘s talking,‖ Adam retorted. ―The guy whose menu

now reads ‗fresh hot blond‘.‖

As Nick bit into his hot dog, he muttered under his breath, ―Yeah,

with a side order of ‗heavy baggage‘ and a whopper of a bill.‖ He

didn‘t say it aloud, since he had no explanation as to why he was so

eager for a second helping.

FRIDAY afternoon, Logan found himself standing totally perplexed in

the cereal aisle at Kroger‘s. He‘d intended to make a quick stop on his

way home from work to pick up a few things for the girls, cereal being

one of them. He wanted to get his daughters‘ favorite kind; he‘d never

really taken note of the name or the brand but figured he‘d recognize

the box when he saw it. Instead he found a bewildering array of

choices, most looking pretty similar and none looking all that familiar.

He fingered his cell phone, tempted to call Linda and ask, but that felt

like an admission of failure.

How can I not even know what kind of cereal they like?
Maybe

Linda was right. If you added it all up, he‘d spent most of the girls‘

lives in his garage in Elco. And during the time in North Braddock

before the separation, he‘d been aware of little save his own misery.

Determined not to let this first weekend be ruined by regret, Logan

shelved his guilt, grabbing a box of Honeycombs—something he

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vaguely remembered eating as a child—and dumped it in his cart.

They’re comin’ to spend time with me, not eat cereal.

As he stood in the checkout line, Logan tried to calm nerves that

had been stretched tight as a bow the entire week, though the

impending visit with the girls wasn‘t the only cause. Wednesday‘s

session with Trudy had been dominated by preparations for joint

counseling with Linda. The list of rules Trudy had required Logan to

sign had been vaguely insulting, but the worst part was feeling like a

fraud as he wrote his name. But how could he tell Trudy that he had no

interest in reconciling with Linda? Was that even true? And even if it

was, how could he explain himself without revealing what was going

on with him and Nick?

Logan snorted to himself, thinking that first he‘d have to know

what was going on before he could explain it to somebody else.

Thursday night Logan hadn‘t even been able to listen to the baseball

game knowing that Nick was there with…
him
. Venom pooled in his

chest at the idea of Nick Zales‘s…
whatever the hell he is.
Logan was

tormented by the thought that Nick would keep seeing Adam yet

terrified of the implications of Nick breaking it off.
It ain’t like there’s

any kinda future in this thing between me and Nick. I know that. Hope

to hell he does.

Two hours later, Logan pulled up in front of his old apartment

building, no closer to answering any of the questions that had plagued

him all week. As he climbed the stairs, he decided to focus on his girls

instead of his problems. Maybe if he‘d done that before, he‘d know